red dust under the lamp

Ning Jue Yeben jumped on the train with no luggage and was empty-handed. He looked like a pickpocket who was struggling with cash during the Chinese New Year and was forced to come out to do business. The word "recidivist" was written all over his beautiful face. The steward looked back frequently and loudly reminded others to keep it safe personal effects.

She can steal, is good at it, and knows how to do it. She steals a ticket and leaves, and no one comes to trouble her.

How can I feel this way.

She looked at her thin self on the window glass, and saw a shameless person.She escaped without measure, sleeping with her head covered, not knowing what was wrong with the train, wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow bang bang, these sounds filled her ears, so loud that she couldn't think, she was in a mess, fell into a drowsy sleep, dreamed Li Astro Boy and Doraemon got into a fight, hello Kitty's big face floated in the cemetery filled with ghostly lights, and he woke up drenched in cold sweat.

One summer, she took Xie Yichen to dry the clothes on the top floor. Aunt Shu was worried after grabbing the clothes out of the washing machine. She was the supervisor and rubbed them again before entrusting Ning Jue to hang them out. Stacking bricks prevented Xie Yichen from wandering around.She put the clothes under the dazzling sun and let them move with the wind in bright colors. Suddenly, she felt that the color on her body was a little plain. Looking back at Xie Yichen, it was also blue, white and gray, like the era before the liberation of the mind.

But the closet is like a garden, where all colors are blooming freely. Everyone was very leisurely that afternoon. Xie Yichen was in a good mood and asked her to show her the clothes one by one. Ning Jue was in front of the mirror. It blooms in autumn and winter.

Xie Yichen suddenly stared at her legs in a daze. The legs hidden in the short skirt were slender and powerful, and the most important thing was that they were alive and kicking.Ning Jue deliberately irritated others by lifting the corner of her skirt, and walked up to Xie Yichen to show her vitality.

She felt herself being grabbed suddenly, Xie Yichen was like a child who couldn't help himself walking in front of the candy window, holding her hand to keep it relatively still... Then, as if possessed by something, he touched her leg in a daze , Pressing her fingers lightly on her skin, goosebumps popped up, she mocked Xie Yichen with a little unease that he could touch her own, Xie Yichen said that touching his own didn't feel like it, and Ning Jue said, "If you touch me, what can you feel?" For the end, Xie Yichen withdrew his hand, as if he would transplant her leg to his body in the next moment, a helpless longing appeared in his eyes, and then shook his head.

Ning Jue suddenly remembered this incident, as if comparing similar twins together, she always thought of the key point unconsciously, but couldn't figure out why she thought so.

After returning to Pingdu, she went to fortune-telling overnight. As soon as the shops opened, the old man who set up a fortune-telling stall saw her and said she was a lonely star.She couldn't accept it, so the old man recited other messy things for a while, and showed her palm reading, but when he opened his palm, he saw that the palm was cut at some point.

The old man said: "This is not good. Rimao Xingjun cut your fate with his sword. You are involuntary, or you are trapped in a cage. I don't know if it will be wealth or doom. I have ups and downs." Three strategies."

"I'll choose the worst option." Ning Jue knew that when the old man talked about the best, the best option was to pay money, and the middle option was to treat guests.

"To be on the safe side, hide. Don't be rich, and don't be doomed. Karma is in the land of stars, that is, where you were born, you don't go back in this life, do more good deeds..."

Ning Jue will not return to Lianhua County again.

At this time, the whole body felt cold, and Lianhua County was much warmer than usual. Since last night, she ran around without even drinking. At this time, her legs were a little swollen and her face was stinging. She went to the front of the city hall. Sitting on the ground to warm up on the burning fire, belatedly thinking about the end of what I would do... I just tore off my skin, and I will never be able to see the Xie family again in this life, she is an unfamiliar animal , It is the livestock that ran to the wild at night to have fun, galloping recklessly under the watchful eyes of the pack of wolves.

If she doesn't leave, the Xie family will find a way to ask her what to do. Aunt Shu stays in the local area and enjoys the life of guarding the house alone. She exists in the Xie family for Xie Yichen. Once Xie Yichen leaves, there is no place for her.

What's more, at that time, an unspeakable emotion urgently arose in her heart, which could not be repeated or summarized. When she saw Xie Yichen stand up and look at everything in that family, an unspeakable emotion tortured her into a crumpled wreck. Paper, curled up, doesn't feel safe anywhere.

Instead of being dismissed with hesitant thanks from the Xie family, she did even better, leaving as if she had some enmity with the Xie family, she forgot all about the world, if she didn't walk fast enough, that emotion would catch up with her If she dies, she will collapse into another creature, no longer Ning Jue.

Is this unwillingness to be abandoned?Or did he vaccinate himself in advance, afraid of being abandoned, so he left first?It seems that there is no progress, it used to be like this, and it is like this now.She sighed angrily, but she always felt that this could not explain her urgency before leaving.

She didn't have the slightest bit of dissatisfaction with Ms. Xie and Mr. Li. She didn't compare herself with Xie Yichen like she used to, and came to the conclusion that she wouldn't get all the love.

She thinks she is in a peaceful state of mind and treats Ms. Xie as a kind employer, and doesn't expect her to be cared for as if she was adopted.

It must have been something else that prompted her to go.Ning Jue took this matter to heart, but after a few years, she still didn't come up with an answer, and instead it gradually disappeared in the depths of her mind.

She returned to Harvest Building, stood with her hips on the first floor and yelled for a while, hoping that men and women whose names she didn't know would come out to taunt her, taunting her that going to Haijing would be of no use, and she would come back empty-handed—she was ready to speak The sword is against them.

However, the empty echo that responded to her made her a little anxious, and she went back to her box to sleep the whole night. For three consecutive days, the man did not come back by bicycle, and the woman did not solicit customers for business.

The Harvest Building was quiet, like a half-broken coffin containing the only living person.

She finally went to look through their personal belongings. The man's money disappeared, most of his things were gone, and he seemed to have left premeditatedly. Perhaps, as he himself said, he won a sum of money and went home to see his wife and children.The woman's money also disappeared, but things were a bit messy, and the ground was full of garbage. She stepped on the garbage and rummaged through it, and suddenly stepped on something and made a squeaking sound.

It is a rubber duck, small and delicate, like a toy that a rich family buys for children to take a bath with.Ning Jue is holding the duck. It is suitable for swimming downstream of the bridge in front of the door, suitable for swimming in the kindergarten, but it is not suitable for swimming in the Fengshou Building. There are no school-age children here. Even if there are, everything in the Fengshou Building is sexually mature. Ning Jue Knowing what rape is all about at the age of five.

Ning Jue found a wooden pole, as if rafting in a garbage lake, looking left and right, and found an unwashed diaper in the corner.

She was puzzled by the old, hardened poop, and she decided that the material of the soft diaper was one of her vests.She also found feeding bottles and a yellowed baby one-piece that should have been milky white.

The wavy lace on the baby clothes took her into a trance, recalling that her seemingly coquettish mother was actually cold-hearted, as unaesthetic as the big cube buildings from the Soviet Union, Ning Jue had no cute clothes and shoes, When she was sitting in the field fighting against mice, she wore a large gray-green vest. The fabric was washed so hard that it was like armor. She had no doubt that if she was sent to the Middle East to be confused with children of other ethnic groups, She must have survived the bombing because the clothes were too stiff...and that vest was made from trousers that some man forgot at home.

With a lot of thoughts, she was silent for a while, and suddenly realized the most important question.

Women can't have children, and the amount of time she's been to Hae-kyung doesn't seem like enough time for a child to be born from nothing in a woman's womb.

So whose child is this?Where did the woman go again?

These two simple questions were all-encompassing and made Ning Jue tremble with fear.

She knows that a woman's longing for a child has always touched the soul, and her straight eyes crossed the belly of the pregnant woman, wishing she could hook the child in the mother's womb... Women can't give birth, and the desire for children is layered on top of each other, like a patch of hard life Pile up the patches, until finally it becomes another material... Over the years, when hearing the night crying of the child, the woman biting her nails to the window and crying about her incomplete flesh and blood that died in the underworld, like a she-wolf howling at the moon , the child is the totem of that woman, the bright moon in her heart.

Based on this obsession, Ning Jue believes that women can do anything.

She had no doubts that the woman might have stolen a child and raised it here, and nothing unexpected happened.

She is going to inquire about it.