Am I a scumbag?

As dusk approached, a bewildering pale gold and light purple fell from the window.

Tang Xiujing heard the first half of the story told by the emperor's brother before, and now he heard the second half of the story told by Zhuang Qingqu.After listening to it, my heart was agitated and complicated, and I couldn't calm down for a long time.

He, the King of Yuelu who is far away, seems to follow this long story and personally follow them through the sweet, bitter and ups and downs of the ten years.

In the evening, Zhuang Qingqu's face was handsome and calm.

The wind lanterns woven of moonlight grass hold small red candles, hanging under the window swaying gently.There was a dark golden light on King Lan's hair and shoulders.The man's appearance now is much less sharp than when he was young, full of fragrance and elegance, peerless grace, and calm and gentle.

It is really good-looking, unique in the world.Tang Xiujing watched with envy.

From the first time I saw him, I knew he couldn't compare to this person.

Although he has been so many years, he has always worked very hard.In this country in the South China Sea, I pay attention to the words and deeds of the emperor's brother every day, analyze the thoughts of the emperor's brother in governing the country, and copy the method of Daxia to lead the people of Yuelu Xiaoguo to live a good life.

But he has always known that even if he is not Yuelu King, even if he is the free and easy Tang Xiujing.With Zhuang Qingqu around, he could only watch from afar all his life.

From the first time he met Zhuang Qingqu, he knew it better than anyone else.

The same love, admiration, surprise, sincerity, and the same desire to stay by his side for a lifetime.But Tang Xiujing never dared to imagine that one day he would really take this person as his own.

Unlike Zhuang Qingqu, since he was young, his bright light-colored eyes were cold and arrogant, stubborn and arrogant.

Like the big black dragon in the "Summer Classic", staring at it like a tiger, wanting to lick it all the time.

Catch it, tie its kicking legs, bury it in its furry neck, and suck the sweetness in your mouth.The big black dragon didn't care whether it was fierce or not, whether it was the rumored number one beast in the Great Xia, if it would break off its proud dragon tail if it just jumped on it like this.

He is a big black dragon.Whoever makes Yingru the cutest in the world, it will tie it back to decorate its big dragon bed.

Tang Xiujing is real, so envious of such toughness and courage.

It was getting dusk and deep.

Tang Xiujing: "Brother Ah Zhao has been taking a bath for so long, I'll go look for him."

"Hey, don't, don't, brother Zhuang, don't get up. The imperial doctor said that you can't get up with your body. Lie down and lie down. I'll just go and find it for you. The palace is only so big, and he can't go very far."

"..."

"Brother Zhuang, this king knows how to be courteous and respectful. I will never peek at the emperor's brother taking a bath!"

"Besides, it's been so long, the emperor's brother should have finished washing long ago, so he must have gone shopping somewhere along the way."

Zhuang Qingqu said with a cold face, "Hmph."

Tang Xiujing left, the afterglow was already shining outside the window.Zhuang Qingqu lay on the bed alone and closed his eyes, feeling drowsy again.

I have leisure time to go shopping, but I don’t know to come back early to accompany me.

The arms are empty, and only those who want to hug a warm one are at ease.He smiled wryly, in fact, he had only woken up not long ago, that is, he hadn't seen anyone for an hour or two, yet he missed him so much.

In the dream, it was the northern Xinjiang where Jinyu had lived for ten years.

The battlefield was a hundred times more dangerous than expected. He fought bloody battles all the way, but he still couldn't get out of the tight encirclement.The yellow sand blinded his eyes, and the enemy's sharp knife pierced through his ribs. He had a slight hint of malice in the bitter despair of the sharp pain in his chest.

He thought, if he really died like this, his body would be sent back to the capital incomplete.

He really wanted to see if the always cold and ruthless emperor would show a different expression for him.

Later, it was muddy and cold under torrential rain on the cliffs a few days ago.Blood gushed out of his throat, and he was so weak that he couldn't speak a word.The body was hugged tightly, hot kisses fell down, and he heard out of tune crying in the bleak wind and heavy rain.

He will feel sorry for him.Will rub his cold fingers, choked up.He murmured Xiaozhuang, Xiaozhuang, please, don't leave.

Xiaozhuang, he said, I really thought about it.

You said... Sneaking you into a place with beautiful mountains and rivers, where no one knows.When the country is stable and the heavy responsibilities are relieved, I will go there to find you.I have thought about it.

I thought if you would still want me then.For the rest of my life, I will only be with you and treat you well.Everything is used to pamper you.

I secretly thought so.

The surrounding scenery returned to the desert where Jinyu had been for ten years.He was still fighting on the battlefield with injuries all over his body. When he was almost cornered, he suddenly passed through the mountain of corpses and the sea of ​​blood. He saw people who should not be there anyway.

There was a moment of trance, he didn't understand.But at that moment of hesitation, a series of heavy bows and silver feather arrows roared towards him.

There was no time to react, he could only watch helplessly.

In an instant, life is worse than death.

He rushed over to catch the falling body, his hands were sticky.Yan Yuliang's jade hairpin fell off, and her long hair fell loose like a waterfall of blue silk.

Yan Yuliang suffered such a serious injury, but there was no pain on his face.

His eyes were blank, and his lips moved slightly, as if he wanted to say something.Zhuang Qingqu couldn't hear it, he was heartbroken and hugged him, suddenly something chilled his palm.

The red ring was taken off by Yan Yuliang and gently placed on his palm.

The young emperor said softly, Xiao Zhuang.

They never said anything.Wearily closed his eyes.

Zhuang Qing's eyes were about to burst, he didn't know what that meant.The man in his arms was full of wounds and blood, but he only dared to hold him carefully, dare not ask, dare not shout, dare not cry loudly.I'm afraid that if he speaks louder, something will shatter, and the person in his arms will disappear completely.

In the following months, Yan Yuliang suffered repeated injuries, remained unconscious, and was on the verge of death several times.

He has been struggling between the hope of extinction and the despair of the abyss.

A Zhao used to despise him as crazy, but he had never seen him at his craziest.During those three months, Zhuang Qingqu was the craziest in his life. Except for the imperial doctor, he didn't allow anyone to enter Chuwei Palace, and he didn't allow anyone to inquire about the emperor's situation.

He holds military power and controls the government.Every day in a bad mood, I threw a lot of disobedient people out of the capital.

He fastened a sharp blade on the dragon bed and locked the Chuwei palace.

He stayed by the dragon bed every night, touching the ashen face and sunken eye sockets of the person on the bed over and over again.He didn't understand how in this world, people could be so decisive, so cruel, and so hateful.

For the first time, he felt that this was the end.

He will not give this person any chance to stand up.

He wanted him to survive, disabled or stupid, he wanted it.From now on, he will lock him up in the palace, lock him up, force him, kiss him, hug him, and torture him gently over and over again, until he is willing to face up to the thoughts he has been hiding all along.

Ah Zhao loves him.

No qualified and cold emperor would lose his head and risk his life to save someone he doesn't love.

A Zhao regards him as his life, and he does not accept any other answers.

He wanted him to live, and if Ah Zhao died in the end, he would accompany him.The Zhuang family has a secret ancestral land in Yanhai City.He'll take him there, doing it unnoticed.

I won't let him enter the imperial mausoleum, he will bind his hands and feet, enter the same coffin with him, and keep it as his own forever, and I will never be separated from you.

He kissed his fingertips, he thought many people thought he was crazy.

He's going to go crazy like this.It was his beloved His Majesty, the best Ah Zhao, who drove him to the point of no return.

……

Something warm got into the quilt and ironed it.

The dull pain in his chest was dispelled, and he felt relieved and at ease.

Zhuang Qingqu finally broke away from those messy dreams and fell asleep peacefully for a while.When he opened his eyes again, someone was lying on his body warmly, pillowing his shoulder blades.

It was dark and full of stars.

He is not happy.Some people still know to come back...

The body feels warm and fragrant after bathing.The warm heartbeat came powerfully through the thin fabric.

Zhuang Qingqu was depressed.But he still opened his arms and hugged him tightly, not enough, and kissed him again on the top of his hair.

The person in his arms seemed to be asleep and didn't move.

But he didn't sleep, Zhuang Qingqu could clearly feel his chest was wet.He hugged him even tighter, he would rather he whimpered like before than grit his teeth and hold back his voice.

He still likes him woo woo woo woo.

The old Yanjia always liked to call ghosts.The king of England also likes to scream, the princess of England is giggling every day, and the princess likes to chirp.

Why suppress your own nature.

In fact, he also prefers Ah Zhao who was always lively and happy when he was young and after losing his memory.

He wiped it with his fingertips, Yan Yuliang sniffed and hid for a while.

Emperor Jin Yu whispered: "You are finally willing to wake up."

"Well, I'm awake." Zhuang Qingqu gave him a hug, "Come here, give me a good hug."

With a gentle and helpless voice, he tightened his arms to embed the person into the flesh and blood, and then kissed the forehead and cheek of the person in his arms.Kiss until tears are salty and astringent.

He didn't ask him why he was crying, but asked him: "Where did Ah Zhao go shopping this afternoon?"

Yan Yuliang didn't go shopping, he just dawdled by the hot spring for a long time after taking a shower, until the sunset.

Wanting to come back, but not daring to come back, so I just dragged on.

Zhuang Qingqu felt distressed and amused: "Azhao is still...afraid to explain to me what happened to my father?"

Yan Yuliang leaned against his chest, shaking his head slightly.

He used to be afraid.At that time, Daxia could not make mistakes in one step, and could not support people and things that could not be completely determined.At that time, he and Xiaozhuang were still young, and there were too many uncertainties, so he really didn't dare to take that risk.

But now, he is leaning in Lan Wangnuan's arms.

There is an unbreakable trust between them, and they are no longer afraid.

But there are many other things.

There are many things that I can't talk about.

How can he tell King Lan that the Emperor Jin Yu tried his best to balance everything back then, compromised if he couldn't balance, and cheated if he couldn't compromise, but when he couldn't even cheat...

What he thought then was that this was the end of the matter.

It is neither clear nor controllable.

at this point.

Then he can only feel sorry for Xiaozhuang in this life.

So what about the fiery sincerity of a young man?Just douse it, kill it.He is not sad.

He, Xu Zhuangqingqu, was an official in the court and made a name for himself through his contributions.But he is also a qualified emperor at the same time, suppressing and manipulating, so that even if the matter of Zhuang Xinhuo is revealed one day, or if there are other accidents, Zhuang Qingqu will not have the power to fight back.

He could see Xiao Zhuang's aggrieved and angry eyes, and he could bear his suppressed hatred and disappointment kiss.

It's ok.

Because he never expected to be with Xiao Zhuang again one day, never expected him to ask him blushingly and slightly shyly if he could kiss him again.

He didn't expect Xiao Zhuang to forgive him.

Zhuang Qingqu was silent.

After a while, he stroked the stiff person in his arms, and said in a helpless and distressed voice, "Silly Ah Zhao."

"I already knew this..."

Yan Yuliang finally let out a deep sob deep in his throat.He had a headache, his chest was hurting, and he didn't know what to do.

Yes, Lan Wang already knew.

Tang Xiujing had been persuading him before: "Actually, King Lan has always understood it all these years. Don't be afraid, Brother Emperor, even if he knows everything, he still treats you wholeheartedly."

But that's why.

It was precisely because he was so good that he felt especially uncomfortable and embarrassed.

In fact, so many years later.

For so many years, the hugs and skin-to-skin kisses again and again, the hot words, the hot heartbeat, and the peace of mind of having someone by his side in his sleep, have subtly warmed him.

Dripping water wears away rocks and accumulates earth into mountains.

He began to understand more and more the uncontrollable joy and sorrow that those imperial families shouldn't have.He began to gradually believe what the history books told him would never happen.Those who he thought were fleeting like meteors, like a drop in the ocean, unattainable, unattainable among thousands of people.

He thought he would be alone all his life, but he met Xiaozhuang instead.He will definitely not come to him, the sincere, dedicated, hot and unchanging sincerity, he has really seen it before.

That's great, but it's too late.

What's the use? It's been so many years, and Xiao Zhuang was forced to drink poison by him.There are too many things he has done that cannot be turned back.

It would be better to forget each other.

He has already chosen his imperial career, chose to go through the dark night before the dawn with the people of Li, and gave up his selfishness early on.In the future, maybe there will be a lot of burdens and a lot of involuntary control. It is difficult for anyone to be with him without being wronged.

As for Xiaozhuang, he must be able to find someone better.

Unlike him, who is full of city government and full of calculations.I will not let Xiao Zhuang suffer any grievances and injuries, I can take care of Xiao Zhuang's body, and spend my whole life with him sweetly.He will feel sorry for Xiao Zhuang and protect his shortcomings, scolding the dog emperor every day at home.

When the time comes, he will stand at Huachao Drum Tower under the clouds and watch them.

Looking at the vast crowd, Lan Wang led the really suitable people together.He will bless.

……

Yan Yuliang kept crying silently.

He couldn't stop, for many, many years, he was extremely invincible in the face of the boundless darkness.But now...

Zhuang Qingqu carried him along the back.

It was so easy for him to stop crying, Zhuang Qingqu: "Are you stupid?"

"..."

"Okay, don't cry! I'm stupid, I'm stupid." He kissed him again, feeling distressed and itchy, wanting to bully and coaxing, all kinds of complicated emotions piled up.He asked him again, "But what happened next?"

"Later, you rejected Princess Luoyun because of me. For four whole months, you have been guarding me and taking care of me. If I have a little trouble, you are more anxious than anyone else."

"But why at that time, he still refused to ask me."

Yan Yuliang: "..."

Because at that time, he thought that Zhuang Qingqu had given up.

Zhuang Qingqu's head was buzzing all of a sudden: "Say it again?"

That time, if he really married Princess Luoyun, he thought that he would be completely hopeless.But Azhao didn't. Azhao has rarely been willful in his life, but after such a good marriage, he finally chose to be willful.This made Zhuang Qingqu a bit resurgent.

He plucked up the courage to hook his fingers, but failed again, feeling dazed and sad.

But how could he know that it was on Yan Yuliang's side, and he didn't dodge deliberately when he hooked his fingers.

Because Emperor Jinyu has long been used to... the bed, the imperial garden, etc.She has already been raised by him to get used to kissing and caressing.I am used to the most intense, profound and deadly expressions.

He forgot that Xiaozhuang used to restrain himself and return to the courtesy, expressing his liking little by little.

In addition, after that time, Zhuang Qingqu often stayed outside Beijing and never came to the palace to look for him again.He felt that he might be relieved, that's the best, it's best to let go, there are many obstacles and unhappiness when being with the emperor, of course he wants to wish him happiness.

Zhuang Qingqu: "..."

Zhuang Qingqu: "No matter when you are, you have to piss me off."

Emperor Jinyu laughed twice, and King Lan's clothes got a little wet again.

He hugged him tightly and gritted his teeth, so what kind of mood did this person have when he went to northern Xinjiang.If he accidentally died in northern Xinjiang, if he didn't lose his memory... this bastard dog emperor.

Yan Yuliang: "Qing Qu, what are you doing?"

"No, you are not in good health at this moment..."

Zhuang Qingqu gritted his teeth.It is true that his hands and feet are still heavy, and he knows that he may not be good enough, but he is really angry. If he can, he must deal with this fool.

Let him cry, let him admit his mistake.He was going to hold him over and over again until he begged for mercy, to make up for the many years he had almost missed.

But he is false.

I'm going to be mad.

Yan Yuliang: "...don't be angry."

"Lan Lan," he whispered, "Didn't you ask before, what did I want to tell you at the last time?"

He finally remembered.

At that time, he was so cold that he couldn't speak, thinking in his heart that I was awesome, but fortunately he protected Xiao Zhuang with his agility.But thinking about Xiao Zhuang, he seems to be crying... Really, I don't want to wrong him anymore, why did he make him so sad again.

I can't just die like this.

How sad Xiaozhuang would be if he died.And originally, there are still many things I want to say to Xiaozhuang...

I want to say that he said that I was wrong and that I was late.I still like Xiaozhuang, I have always liked it, but it is too late to say it.

As his consciousness gradually blurred, he secretly thought in his heart.

If there is an afterlife, can I meet Xiaozhuang again.

If there is an afterlife, can I be reborn as the most shameful and stupid king, the kind that even small novels dare not write.

The color makes the mind faint, and the mind is full of emptiness.All day long, he stares at the beautiful woman and chases after him without fear of death. After he catches up with him, he loves him to death. Just like what is written in the history books, let him mint coins and take all the money in the world. As written in "Golden House Zangdijiao", he is willing to give up the throne for a smile for the beauty.

Let me meet him again, and I was bewildered by his beauty early on.Indulging in it, unable to extricate themselves.

Let me meet him again, and I will be sincerely moved by him early on.The most precious, the dearest.

If there is an afterlife, Xiaozhuang. w, please keep in mind:,