The way I came back wasn't right

Su Zejin never thought that she would see Shen Huaiyi's tears.

He was a little surprised, a little moved, and more sad was shrouded in his heart.

It's not that he has no attachment to Shen Huaiyi.

But he didn't change his mind.

He repeated: "I wish you a happy life in the future."

…etc!Shen Huai suddenly made a sound, the sudden outburst of irritable emotions in his mind made Shen Huaiyi's mood and spirit a little unstable, didn't you say that there is absolutely no problem?Now what's going on!

Shen Huai pressed his forehead with his fingers.

Blue veins throbbed on his forehead, and his mind was in unprecedented chaos.

Shen Huai's angry voice didn't stop for a moment, and he tried to rush out!

He severed the connection with the other party.

He lowered his head, trying to sort out some things so that he could get over the difficulties in front of him and restore the person in front of him.

What's there?

What's there?

What else would Su Zejin stay behind?

What else would Su Zejin be moved by?

——What kind of person is Su Zejin?

——How has he changed step by step from the very beginning?

He was very... firm and crisp.

He knows what he wants.

He never dragged his feet.

He's not afraid to face anything, he doesn't run away from anything.

He was even able to accept all, terrible truths...and he really conquered them.

What weakness does he have?

What kind of weakness does Su Zejin have?

Can't find it.

Couldn't find it at all.

What should he do?

He couldn't let this person leave like this.

This is not a threat or temptation to retreat.

When he said goodbye, he would never see him again. When he said he would leave, he would never look back.

He can't let the other party go!

Shen Huaiyi suddenly stood up from his seat. He grabbed Su Zejin's arm, but felt that he couldn't speak any words.

He heard his own rapid heartbeat.

They buzzed in his chest, beside his ears, and in his mind, each and every sound seemed to urge him to act quickly, and if he was a second late, it would never be too late——

But what should he do?

He no longer has anything Su Zejin cares about, and he can leave Su Zejin's weight.

He played all the cards in his hand but failed to keep people, he—

Shen Huaiyi's eyes met Su Zejin's.

The other party's eyes were clear and calm.

He said silently, "Okay, let me go."

no no.

Never do this, think again, think again!

If you let go like this, you will lose a lot, and you will never - never - see each other again -

In a hurry, Shen Huai's mind went blank. He grabbed Su Zejin's arm vigorously, and then quickly moved forward, trying to kiss him.

His lips touched Su Zejin's.

He no longer saw the tingling expression on Su Zejin's face, but the intuitive reflection from the joints of the body made Shen Huaiyi's heart sink even more.

Su Zejin was obviously avoiding him.

Su Zejin was indeed avoiding Shen Huaiyi.

He was surprised, he never thought that Shen Huai would behave like this after he finished speaking.

Maybe Shen Huaiyi cared more about him than he expected?Su Zejin thought so, but he finally shook his head to himself in his heart.He didn't waver, he was going to push Shen Huaiyi away.

But Shen Huai held his hand firmly.

Su Zejin raised his brows slightly, he struggled but did not move, seeing that Shen Huaiyi was about to speak, Shen Huaiyi took a deep breath, and quickly tore off his jacket and trousers.He half-forced Su Zejin to sit on the sofa he had just made.

He didn't say anything, he took Su Zejin's hand from his chest, all the way down to his abdomen.At this time, he had also untied Su Zejin's pants, and his hand reached in, touching the other's desire, trying to make the other's desire stand up.

Not too long.

Su Zejin's desire quickly became hardened under the stimulation of the outside world.

Shen Huaiyi's brow seemed to relax a little, but he didn't seem to have any, but he really didn't waste any time. He lowered his head and kissed the other party again, making it too late for Su Zejin, who had just recovered from the shock, to say anything again.

Then, his hand reached behind him, and he opened his body rudely and impatiently to accept Su Zejin's desire. Try to relax your body and try not to strangle the person who enters.

Everything happened in just a few minutes.

Su Zejin was so dazed that he couldn't control himself.

He never thought that Shen Huai would do such a thing.

That elegant and calm Shen Huaiyi, who seems to have everything under control, can even applaud a murderer, what is he doing now?

Su Zejin subconsciously put the other party's behavior in a complicated place.

For example, to control him and so on——

But he wasn't controlled by it.

Then all the behaviors will return to the essence of the behavior, Shen Huaiyi is trying to keep him with his body.

All his remedies were exhausted.

And now he's trying to physically keep him.

Su Zejin took a deep breath.

His arm holding Shen Huaiyi's shoulder loosened slightly, and he almost immediately saw Shen Huaiyi's gaze as if it had been injected with a bright light, but this kind of bright light, which was shown almost for the first time, disappeared deep into the other's pupils as soon as he turned around.

Because he once again increased his strength to express his thoughts.

Shen Huai, who had acted quickly before, also quickly fell silent, followed him and stood up.

His clothes were still messy, and he was not in a hurry to tidy up his clothes, but raised his hand and gently rubbed his temples.Then the expression on his face changed little by little.

It was as if the rationality that had just disappeared turned into an expression and covered it layer by layer...but it seemed to be more than that.

Su Zejin had already arranged his clothes. He sat on the sofa and calmed down for a while, then picked up the glass of water that he didn't drink on the table, and handed it to the other party: "Want a glass of water?"

Then he looked at the other person's expression, frowned, a little uncertain: "Shen Huai...or Shen Huaiyi?"

The person standing raised his eyes and smiled: "Shen Huaiyi."

Just now Su Zejin said "Oh", and heard the other party say again: "But at that moment just now, it's okay to say that both of them were there. Just now, it seemed that the two personalities overlapped...but now, it's me standing here."

"Because Shen Huai wants to come out?" Su Zejin asked.After what happened to Chen Jian, his attitude towards Shen Huaiyi has always been peaceful.He was not in a hurry to express his determination with actions, probably because...in more and more time, he would hesitate and linger, but a decision is a decision.

"That's right." Shen Huaiyi didn't shy away from saying it.He began to straighten his clothes, first the zippers, then the buttons.He was not in a hurry, and even slowed down a little, as if he was using these actions to sort out his emotions.

"Why don't you let him come out and try?" Su Zejin asked, at this moment, he didn't keep his eyes on Shen Huai, but turned his eyes away on purpose.

This is really a very considerate gesture.

Shen Huai smiled. After tidying up his clothes, he first said "Okay" to Su Zejin, and then continued: "Because I am the personality that was created to solve the problem."

"Is this okay? Are you afraid that Shen Huai will fall out with you?" Su Zejin continued, he was really joking, there was no malice.From Jiang Junguo to Chen Jian, these two people who planned to kill him were at the bottom of the list. In good conscience, Shen Huaiyi really didn't do anything particularly sorry for him.

Shen Huai let out a soft "huh": "It's true that he and I have two sides of the same person, but in the end we are still the same person. How can we fall out?"

Su Zejin nodded: "Then let's talk about what happened just now. Seriously, I didn't expect you to do that, just like Chen Jian. I really don't understand what you are thinking."

Shen Huaiyi didn't make a sound.

"Let me tell you how I feel about you?" This sentence was a question, but Su Zejin didn't wait for Shen Huaiyi's answer, and continued: "I always think you are a charming person, your patient probably I also think you are a charming person, otherwise I can't explain those people who come to you through various relationships."

"Calling someone 'nice' is of course a compliment, but it's very strange to say that someone is nice to a certain extent..."

"Because at this time, you find that he is perfect as if there is no blemish."

"When I was with you, I didn't notice this. I kept thinking how lucky I was and what a perfect lover I got... Now I almost figured it out."

"You are perfect largely because you have no demands on others."

"You will not be influenced by others, you will not depend on others, and you will not transfer your pressure, expectations, or anything to others."

"So everyone can get along with you very easily."

"But in fact?"

"You just have no trust, no fear, no closeness, no expectations of anyone else."

"All your actions seem to be in accordance with your desires, as if nothing can restrain you. Your family can't, your lover can't, do you have friends? Can laws and morals restrain you?"

Su Zejin looked at Shen Huaiyi, and he said slowly and calmly: "I think you are the same person as Chen Jian. But you are stronger than him. In your analysis, Chen Jian is still subject to the tenacious constraints of morality." , so in the end he went completely crazy, but what about you? Do you think that laws and morals must be followed, and you are a member of the big rules of society who are bound by the rules?"

"Shen Huaiyi, sometimes I think you are very scary."

This passage caused Shen Huaiyi to fall into a relatively long silence.

After a while, he said softly: "Laws and morals are really not enough to restrain me. And I am looking for those people or things that are enough to restrain me." He said here for a change of breath, and asked Su Zejin, "Do you think the meaning of life lies in What? Or what is the joy of life?"

He didn't wait for Su Zejin to answer: "Realize self-worth? Feel the truth, goodness and beauty that others have imposed on oneself?"

"You are not interested in this..." Su Zejin murmured, he could see the smile on Shen Huaiyi's face, this kind of smile was calm and indifferent.For a long time, Su Zejin always faced such a charming smile, but until this time, he didn't know what kind of thoughts this smile really showed Shen Huaiyi: For those ordinary people who care about, what they want What he pursues, he doesn't care, doesn't pursue, is not moved, and doesn't take it seriously.

"Yes, I'm not interested in any of these." Shen Huaiyi said, "Psychiatrist is an interesting profession, but not a very good profession. When you discover too many things, you will find that your Heart and spirit—" His fingers pointed to his chest and mind, "better and calmer."

"You don't think this is good?" Su Zejin asked.

"Is this good?" Shen Huai asked Su Zejin, "When you will no longer be surprised, you will have no surprises; when you will no longer suffer, you will have no happiness; When you are constrained by anything, you lose the satisfaction you should have in life.”

"Then man becomes a devil."

Su Zejin was also silent for a while, and then he said: "I think when you realize this situation, you are already restraining yourself, unless..."

"Unless I don't care about becoming a devil." Shen Huai completed Su Zejin's words.Then he said calmly, "Yes, I don't care. Just 'becoming a devil' is not enough to restrain me. I am not morally condemned, and I am not afraid of the consequences. But I still hope to find and discover something, to be able to Things that restrain me."

"for what?"

"In order to be able to feel satisfied, happy, and even fearful, in order to allow the blood in the blood vessels to flow without freezing forever like ice crystals." Shen Huaiyi said, "I don't care whether this restriction is positive or negative. Whether it is in line with social ethics or against it, I just look forward to finding this, and then using it to make myself more complete."

"...Me?" Su Zejin asked.

The two had such a long conversation, and Su Zejin didn't forget his original question.

Why did Shen Huaiyi do this?

And now, Shen Huai answered him:

Because I need a constraint.

I'm looking for a constraint.

The smile on Shen Huaiyi's face seemed to have finally injected a little real emotion: "Yes, it's you. I approached you at the beginning because of Shen Huai. When Chen Jian's incident happened in the middle, I originally planned to end the relationship with you. But Ozawa, you really are always—unexpected.”

"I saw you with my own eyes, like a diamond that has been mined and polished to the brightest brilliance at the end. Why can you eliminate the influence of your mother's truth on you in just one day? Why can you Forgive Chen Jian who wanted to kill you at the end? Why can you simply 'let go' and 'forgive' instead of gaining anything from it?"

"I can't understand, I want to explore, I am completely attracted, fascinated by it, and even feel panic and strong unwillingness when I may lose it. Any point of this is enough to make people sink."

"I think..." Shen Huai said slowly.

At this moment, he felt himself in a slight trance.

He seemed to suddenly feel Shen Huai again.

No, you shouldn't have said that.

He has always felt that Shen Huai is the same person, with two personalities, they were originally as distinct as two different rivers, but at this moment, the parallel rivers crossed again.

Lasted much longer than the moment just now.

He was aware of Shen Huai's emotions and felt Shen Huai's expectation.

They seem to have become one at this moment.

"I'm looking forward to..." Shen Huaiyi continued, "I'm looking forward to being with you...you are different to me, you are different from anyone else in the world..."

From a bystander's perspective, Shen Huai heard his intermittent voice.

This is extremely rare.

He had never been in a situation like this one.

He is a little speechless, he doesn't know how to organize his language, he is anxious, nervous, or has other more emotions.

And this is purely because he wants to dissect his mood and thoughts for another person to see.

Let the other party understand everything about themselves.

Then Shen Huaiyi suddenly laughed.

This is the constraint.

This is the restraint and control he wants.

He is three-point relaxed, three-point light, and more gentle: "Maybe it's a little late to say now, but Su Zejin, to me, you are different from anyone else."

"I expect you to be my constraint in this world, and I expect you to bring me more true emotions."

"I hope you won't make me tired of this world."

Su Zejin didn't speak for a while, many thoughts flashed through his mind, so he was silent for a while.

Shen Huai waited for a while.During this process, he also carefully observed Su Zejin's expression.

He tried to spy on the other party's thoughts from every subtle expression fluctuation of the other party.

But this thing that is usually handy suddenly becomes extremely jerky at this moment.

It seems that no matter what, he can't sort out his own thinking...

Shen Huaiyi finally chose to speak directly, he couldn't calm down to analyze, but the answer was already clear: "How do you want to reject me?"

"I was thinking about how to tactfully but resolutely refuse." Su Zejin still had a joking expression.

Then the person sitting on the sofa stood up.

His smile faded away.

He said clearly to Shen Huai: "That's right, it's really too late to say this now."

"Goodbye, Shen Huaiyi."