night lights up

In fact, there is a very small secret in my heart that Chu Heng doesn't know.

In fact, in the past, I always called Chu Heng Chu Tiantian in my heart.

= - =

Yes, you read that right, it is Chu Tiantian.

And I liked calling him that in the back of my mind.

At the beginning, I often called it that way because I didn't understand him, and it was a bit darkly ironic.

After all, I have a bad personality, and I can't figure out his thoughts. I am always treated attentively by him, and sometimes I inevitably find him annoying and long-winded.But he can be regarded as my savior, he is very patient with me, I am not a white-eyed wolf, no matter how annoying I am, I can't say that he is annoying.

Every time, when he mentions life to me, my face is expressionless, and I actually have to complain ten thousand times in my heart: this annoying Chu Tiantian has started again!

I never eat sweets, and I hate sweets, I think it's too gluttonous.

Later... the irony became less and less, until it disappeared.Calling it that way again is pure habit.

And, maybe it's a nickname from the bottom of my heart?

Sometimes, when he smirked at me again, I would occasionally stare blankly, and silently said in my heart: Chu Tiantian is so cute.

Of course the name has a reason, and it came really early. I called it before I realized that I liked it.

Although even ten years later, I still don't know when Chu Heng knew about the existence of "An Sifeng".I have asked many times, but every time he just smiled and refused to tell me.I will never know, if he hadn't met me in that club, what would have happened to the two of us, would we not have talked at all?Are you going to be a stranger for the rest of your life?

But at that time, really since the first day we met, he was never missing in my life.

Counting, it is only the fourth day of intersection.

In the morning, I read his text message saying that chocolate is very sweet. For a moment in the rickety bus, I did feel a little bit of strange happiness.But in the next second, the bus slammed on the brakes, and we were all scrambled into sardines.An old woman almost fell, and I quickly reached out to support her.

The old grandma happened to be with me, and I supported her along the way, and occasionally talked to her a few words.

I completely forgot about that sentence and Chu Heng.

This kind of happiness is incompatible with real life, and so am I.

It's only the fourth day, and I haven't been conditioned by Senior Chu Tiantian yet.

Don't think he's still going to show up.

It was only when I went to the cafeteria to buy food at noon and passed by the beef noodle window in the second cafeteria, I thought of him.But soon, immediately forgot again.

There was also class that afternoon. In the middle of the class, my mother's nurse sent me a text message, saying that my mother was not well.

It was too late for my class, so I asked the class monitor and the teacher for leave first, and hurried to the hospital.

It was my mother who did not wake up when she was usually awake, and started to have a high fever again.Only then did the nurse contact me. After all, the doctor had already said that my mother might just go by accident.Our mother and child depend on each other for life, and the auntie of the nurse also felt sorry for me. When she found out that my mother was not good, she contacted me first even though the reason was not found out.

Before I rushed to the hospital, the doctor had given my mother medicine to lower her temperature, but the effect was slow.

When I arrived, the nurse started to physically cool my mom down with ice packs.I rushed into the ward panting, and saw the nurse put ice packs on my mother's armpit and other places. I, who really almost never cry, my eyes immediately turned red.

My mom used to make the wrong money, but she didn't mean to get into it.

If nothing happened to grandparents and grandparents, and the family savings were not embezzled by the uncles on the grounds of taking care of the young mother, and after the mother went to college as an adult, they would always do something less beastly, why would my mother earn such money?

They used my mother's money to raise my mother until adulthood.My mother danced folk dances in elementary school and was admitted to the art school she wanted. When she needed a lot of money, the money left by her grandparents was enough for her to go to school, and she could leave a lot.

They stopped giving the money, and the reason they gave was that all the money left by my grandparents was spent taking care of my mother these years.

My mother is innocent, she didn't leave any evidence, and she also filed a lawsuit, just one word: lose.

It's true that I'm a self-proclaimed idiot, and it's true that my mother raised me to be a little naive, but compared to my mother, I still have a bit of a heart.

My mother is the purest and kindest woman in my mind, why should she suffer like this?

After the accident at home, I, who had never cried seriously, saw those cold ice packs put into my mother's quilt one by one, and my mother was still unconscious and flushed.On the machine beside me, my mother's heartbeat was always abnormal.The doctors and nurses were busy with their heads down, barely communicating, and there was only the cold sound of machines in the entire ward.

I finally broke down.

The tears flowed exaggeratedly, like a river bursting its banks suddenly.

In the past, the doctor praised me more than once, saying that I was very calm when I was young, and that my mother would rely on me in the future.

People who never cry, cry suddenly, even the doctor is frightened.

The sister nurse who was familiar with me immediately came forward to support me. I was really scared at the time, afraid that my mother would not wake up like this.

I'm even more afraid that my mother won't even see me for the last time.

After crying for a long time, until I was exhausted from crying, the nurse sister pulled me to sit on the empty bed beside me, and kindly poured water for me to drink, patted my shoulder gently, and whispered to me: "Don't be afraid, you Mom is fine."

"Really?" I asked her childishly.

In fact, everyone knows that there is no real "true".

The nurse sister smiled at me: "Really."

I also "believed".

I have cried a lot. I don’t know whether the trembling and the deepest gloom in my heart are really over these days, but I feel a little relieved.

The doctors and nurses couldn't be here all the time. After they left, the nurses sat by the bed and massaged my mother's legs and arms.

I sat down and drank a glass of water, then went out to ask the nurse for a list of medical expenses.

Every time you take more medicine, you will spend more.But as long as it can save my mother, no matter how much it takes.

That's what I believed at the time.

Fortunately, God did not intend to take my mother away that day. After more than two hours, my mother's body temperature gradually dropped, and her heartbeat also approached the normal value.

It's almost time to go to work.

If it is said that what happened in the past few days made me more and more disgusted with that job, and I also started to feel irritable.At that time, all those documents were flying in front of my eyes, which made me calm down again.

I washed my face vigorously in the bathroom of the ward, my eyes were still a little swollen due to crying too much, but that was all I could do.You can't afford to buy an ice pack to cover your eyes, can you?

I spoke to the auntie of the nurse and asked her to contact me immediately when my mother woke up.

She agreed, and I put my schoolbag on my back and went out.

I walked relatively late that day, at the beginning of five o'clock in the afternoon, and it was already dark outside.I walked out of the inpatient building and was about to go out—

"An Sifeng." Someone called me from behind.

I froze for a moment and turned back immediately.

Chu Heng, who was standing at the gate on the other side, walked towards me with big strides, it was rare for him not to smile.The wind was so strong that day that his hair was even blown a little messy.

He appeared again.

I was a little silly and asked him: "Why are you here?"

"Call you, but I can't get through..."

In the few hours since I arrived at the hospital, I have no time to care about my mobile phone, and the mobile phone has been turned to silent by me.

I suddenly realized: "I muted the phone, sorry."

He shook his head, didn't speak, but looked at my face carefully.

It took a few seconds before I realized that my eyes were still swollen.I never wanted this side to be seen by others, so I immediately withdrew my face, before I had time to think about anything else, I prevaricated: "I'm going to work."

I turned and left in a hurry.

I walked very fast, he walked even faster, quickly caught up with me, and said to me directly with an affirmative sentence: "I will see you there."

"I—" I looked back at him, of course I wanted to refuse.

As soon as we turned around, we saw his profile. We happened to pass by a street lamp, and his profile under the lamp was firmer than his tone.

The words of refusal suddenly became unspoken.

I knew I couldn't refuse, and I was really powerless at the time, and I didn't want to talk any more.

I followed him to the parking lot and he drove me to work.

In the car, he didn't speak. I occasionally sneaked a glance at him. Although I could only see his profile, his brows were always frowning.In fact, usually, when the two of them were alone, he quite liked to start a conversation. On that day, he didn't say a word.

I found out later that he was thinking over and over in his heart, thinking about how to help me solve these things.

In fact, the reason why he thought about such a simple matter to him was just because he wanted to take my dignity into consideration.

I didn't know it then, I looked down and pulled my silent phone out of my pocket.

There are three missed calls from Chu-hyung and, to my surprise, a text message from the monitor.In the class, I only exchange mobile phone numbers with the monitor, after all, I have something to contact.But the squad leader never sent me a text message, just call me if you have something to do.

I clicked on the class monitor's text message: An Sifeng, just after class, senior Chu Heng, a junior, came to see you.You are not here, we said you asked for leave, he seemed a little anxious, so I told him you went to the hospital.It should be fine, right?

The squad leader is very nice, so what can happen?

I replied "Nothing" to her, thank you again.

Putting down the phone, I peeked at Chu Heng again, he was still frowning, very cold.

To be honest, it's no wonder girls get excited when they see him, he's really handsome.

I looked away again, and looked down at the other three text messages from Chu Heng——

are you in the hospital

Can I go upstairs and find you?

An Sifeng, I'll wait for you at the downstairs gate of the inpatient department.

It was nearly two hours ago, and he waited for me downstairs for two hours.He could have gone straight upstairs, but he didn't.

We've only known each other for a few days, and he's so smart, he must have seen my weakness early on.

As a self-proclaimed self, the more I get to this point, the more I have to hold on to the dignity that has long been lost, and I don't want anyone to see my embarrassed side.

He is taking care of my dignity.

I put the phone back into the pocket of the phone, and leaned against the window to look outside the car quietly.

Every year in Shanghai at this time, when the weather has not completely cooled down, there will always be an extremely hot day.In the evening, it starts to blow strong winds and cool down.

This is the case today, the wind outside is getting stronger and stronger.

I can see the long hair of the girls on the side of the road being blown by the wind, I can also see the leaves being blown up by the wind and fall on the front window of the car, and I can also see the trembling pedestrians wearing short sleeves.

I'll admit it myself, at that moment in the day, I was grateful that someone was there with me when I was completely broken and the weather suddenly changed, and gave me a little space so that I didn't have to face the sudden wind.

After Chu Heng sent me, the time was just right.I went up and changed into my work clothes, then went directly to the private room where he was.

I have begun to get used to it, people were a little unhappy that day.

Also because I was a little upset, my temper softened a lot. After sitting for a long time, I thanked him: "Senior, I'm sorry, I just saw your text message in the car. I don't know you waited so long, really I'm very sorry. I don't even know what to say... I've troubled you too many times, and I want to thank you today."

When he saw that I finally spoke, he seemed a little happy, but he didn't smile. He just shook his head and said "it's okay", and then asked me: "Auntie, how are you?"

I nodded: "I'm fine for the time being, I have a high fever in the afternoon and it won't come down."

He also nodded, as if he wanted to say something, but he hesitated.

I was really upset at the time, and for some reason I didn't want to mention my mother's affairs, so I asked him instead: "Is there something the senior is looking for me today?"

He became a little embarrassed, then shook his head: "It's okay..."

I think he's a bit weird, but I really don't have the energy to care.

Then we didn't speak again, and after an hour, he got up and offered to take me away.

It was only the fourth day, and I didn't have a face big enough to directly define it.

But I'm not stupid, I've found out that he's here to help me, to keep me from being embarrassed.But it's a really weird feeling, and of course I don't like that place, but it's a job I chose.Chu Heng helped me out of good intentions, but he took me away again and again. On such occasions, what it means is very straightforward.

Besides, he really spent money.

After all, if you don't have money, you can't get in this place. If you don't have money, you don't have a private room. If you don't have money, don't even think about taking me out early.

He took me away, but I didn't give him anything, but treated him in a perfunctory manner.

On the contrary, he spends money and effort.

If I don't go with him, he will always have a hundred ways to make me go with him.

I still left with him that day, but the person in charge was smiling all over his face, wishing that Chu Heng would come and take me away every day.After all, it takes more money to bring people out...

The time of four days is also very embarrassing. No matter how inexplicable I am, I can't directly say "don't waste money" to Chu Heng.

I don't even know what he wants to do.

After the sky was completely dark, the wind gradually stopped.

As he was driving towards my house, he dropped the speed very low and he left the window half open on my side.When the red light came on, he looked at me and asked, "Is the wind pleasant at this time?"

I nodded.

The window on his side was also opened, and he looked out of the window, and said again: "The rustling sound of the leaves is also very pleasant, they seem to be dancing or singing."

I didn't expect him to say such romantic words, then nodded, and really looked up at the leaves outside the window.

The red light gradually turned green, he started the car, and after passing the intersection, he looked back at me and said softly: "Everything is fine, the wind is, the tree is, and An Sifeng will be too."

Ugh.

It was really strange that day, maybe it was really either not to cry, and once the valve was opened, I had to cry all the time.

I thought I had finished crying in the hospital, but as soon as he said that, I continued to cry.

Why are there such good people.

Even when persuading and encouraging me, you have to take care of my dignity that no longer exists, and speak so lightly and gently.

So not long after my eyes were swollen, I started to cry again.

I lowered my head, and at first I couldn't control my voice, but the tears "fluttered" down.Falling and falling, I can no longer control it.

I shrunk towards the car window, stretched out my arms to wrap my face around, and wrapped myself in a small world surrounded by my arms and the car window, and cried for a while again.

The car stopped early, and Chu Heng didn't speak, let alone persuade me, but just let me cry.

When I was about to cry, he whispered: "An Sifeng, it's not shameful to cry. You are still young, and so many things happened at home, you have to face the cruel reality. It's true that you can survive until now alone. It's been amazing."

I hypnotize myself every day, I can't be knocked down, I can still hold on!

But every time Chu Heng spoke, he spread all kinds of soft grass, carpets and sofas behind me.I remind myself and encourage myself to go outside in the ice and snow.But after he appeared, someone began to coax me back, coaxing me to step on the sunny grass, the fluffy carpet and the soft sofa.

I know I shouldn't back down.

But it is difficult for any individual to refuse such a temptation.

At that time, I was still holding on.

He said again: "After crying, the bitterness will pass, and the future will be fine. Believe in yourself, An Sifeng."

I shook my head, that's not what I meant.

He said, "I'll help you too, An Sifeng."

I even shook my head desperately, I just don't want help from anyone!

I'm afraid of returning favors.

And the first person my mother accompanied was to help her without asking for anything in return.My mother believed it and really fell in love with him, only to find out later that everything was a lie.

Of course, I believe, and I also know that senior Chu Heng is not that kind of person.

But I don't want it either.

The only experience I got from my mother's experience is that everything depends on myself and no one can rely on it.

He handed me a wet tissue: "Wipe it."

I quickly grabbed it, and tried my best to paste it on my face, wiping it while crying.

He also took one and wiped it for me. I felt a little embarrassed and wanted to avoid it.He stretched out his hand directly, his hand was not heavy, but he held my chin so tightly that I couldn't move, and he wiped my tears for me.

I had to face him and close my eyes in embarrassment.

He wiped my face carefully with one paper towel after another.

He called me again: "An Sifeng?"

I narrowed my swollen eyes from crying, and he finally smiled at me, and then said to me, "Come on, open your mouth."

"Huh?" I was a little confused.

He put something in my mouth, I chewed subconsciously, it was chocolate.

He gently patted my head, and said to me firmly and gently: "An Sifeng, life will definitely be sweeter."