Bird Dude Nie Bufan

In the auxiliary hall, Fan Luo, the national teacher, had just finished hearing Hexiang's report on the disappearance of "Ouyang Madness" with a mournful face, and then received the emperor's order to keep his new disciple "Wei Xiaobao" by his side for a while to assist him. Investigate the whereabouts of a thief Nie Bufan.

"Wei Xiaobao?" Fan Luo lay reclined on the wooden couch and snorted.That guy was really troublesome, he was dragged away by the emperor after only a couple of hours without seeing him, and he dared to use false names randomly, did he think he was living too happily?

"My lord?" He Xiang called out worriedly.

"It's fine, don't worry about him." Although he just met him not long ago, Fan Luo had an intuition that this guy would not die, and he really wanted to see how the emperor dealt with him.

"It is a great honor for the emperor to give you the book of servants. You must not let down the benevolence of the emperor." The eunuch took Nie Bufan to a room and ordered, "Go take a bath and change clothes first. The clothes are ready for you." gone."

Nie Bufan held a stack of clothes and humbly asked, "My father-in-law, what exactly does the servant do?"

The eunuch replied blankly: "The so-called serving books mainly records the emperor's daily words and preferences, including poetry, celebrity calligraphy and painting, spices, etc., and is also responsible for sorting out books for the emperor, selecting suitable reading materials, and giving them to the emperor when necessary." study."

Nie Bufan looked up at the sky and hahaha three times in his heart.There are so many talented people in the palace, why should the emperor be so hard-pressed to find him, a semi-literate man, as a servant?To read to him?Can the Three Character Classic work?

After bathing, the fully dressed Nie Bufan was taken to the emperor's bedroom by the eunuchs, but he didn't enter through the main entrance, but walked around from the side compartment into a small room of no more than [-] to [-] square meters.The furnishings of the room are very simple, only desks, cushions and the four treasures of the study.

"When the emperor is in the palace, you stay here. If the emperor doesn't call you, just keep silent and record quietly." The eunuch taught, "If the emperor is going to bed, you and other eunuchs will organize the emperor's desk. Any calligraphy and painting must be properly put away. Then choose a book for the emperor and place it in the upper left corner. Generally, books that the emperor has read will be placed in the upper right corner."

"Oh." Nie Bufan looked at this boxy small room, curled his lips secretly, and asked him to stay here, he would probably suffocate to death within a few days.

"In addition," the eunuch reminded again, "you are not allowed to touch any memorials and documents brought back to the palace by the emperor."

Nie Bufan replied with a smile, "Definitely not."

The eunuch nodded: "After finishing this, you can go to rest, and someone will take you to the place where you live. After the ugly time, you have to get up and wait in the bedroom. Sometimes the emperor will ask you to go to the imperial garden together , to listen to you studying or chatting. Although it is only a temporary duty to serve as a secretary, it is necessary to be cautious in your words and deeds, and you cannot make mistakes."

Just at this point, an eunuch walked outside and whispered: "The emperor has returned to the palace, and he will not be called to bed tonight."

The preaching eunuch let Nie Bufan go, and left after a few more warnings.

When all the people left, Nie Bufan walked around, looking at the small window on the wall, feeling bored.

My ears moved, and I heard the footsteps of several people from far to near, followed by the sound of greetings and changing clothes.

After a while, several people withdrew, and the bedroom fell silent instantly.

"Wei Xiaobao, come out." The emperor came with that deep voice.

Nie Bufan stood up slowly, walked out from behind the screen, and saluted the emperor who was sitting on the couch according to the etiquette taught by the eunuch just now.

The emperor looked him up and down, and said with a smile, "It looks pretty handsome."

Nie Bufan kept his eyes on his nose and heart, and remained silent.

"Tell me, where are you from? How did you meet the national teacher? Why did he bring you into the palace?"

Nie Bufan peeked at him, and replied: "Xiaobao is from Xishan. He just entered Beijing not long ago. He ran into a national teacher by chance. As soon as he saw him, he took Xiaobao into the palace."

"It's that simple?" The emperor really had a hard time imagining who Fan Luo would "hit it off" with?

"It's that simple." Nie Bufan nodded affirmatively.

"Then why were you arrested by the guards as a thief?"

Nie Bufan showed an unlucky expression, and told the whole story in a few words.

"Can you see his appearance clearly?" the emperor asked again.

"No." But as long as he has that set of guard uniforms, he is sure to find him out, but unfortunately he doesn't want to meddle in such nosy matters, so the emperor should worry about it himself.

The emperor fell into deep thought, frowning.

Nie Bufan thought to himself: In fact, he didn't care so much on the surface.

"Can you play chess?" the emperor asked suddenly.

"will not."

"How about playing the piano?"

"will not."

The emperor sighed, waved his hands and said, "Then read something to me."

He lay on his side on the couch, rubbing the space between his brows.

Nie Bufan walked to the desk, picked and picked, skipped those with many words, and chose a picture album.

Walk back to the emperor and unfold the first page——drink, it’s really fragrant!It is directly a picture of a man and a woman embracing each other intimately.

"What's the matter? Why don't you read it?" the emperor asked.

"Your Majesty, are you sure you want to read?"

"Of course, read it."

Nie Bufan cleared his throat, and read: "The mansion is deep and quiet, let's celebrate the spring night, and all the fluff in my heart will disappear."

The emperor frowned, and opened his eyes suddenly.

Nie Bufan turned to the second page and continued: "Let's fight against the gums, and push the two bodies together."

"Although the body is different and the smell is the same, it is natural to be the same." Nie Bufan shook his head and was very intoxicated.

With a whoosh, the picture book in his hand was pulled away, and the emperor flipped through it calmly, and said, "You actually wrote obscene poems about erotic pictures?"

Nie Bufan said innocently: "The emperor asked me to read, even if it is a wordless scripture, I must decipher it."

"Can't you choose a book with words?"

"This book is at the right time and the occasion, just to relieve loneliness and troubles."

The emperor sneered: "I really didn't expect that the national teacher would choose you as a sacrificial disciple? He never disdained such a way."

"Is it disdain or not good at this?" Nie Bufan asked furtively.

"What's the difference?"

"If it's just disdain, it's hard to tell whether the national teacher is clean and self-sufficient or has experienced many battles. Maybe what he pursues is the realm where a leaf among a hundred flowers does not touch his body." Nie Bufan said seriously, "If you are not good at this, Then the emperor should urge him at the right time to help him get involved as soon as possible, so as not to die alone in the future, without successors."

The emperor was stunned and speechless.

Nie Bufan said again: "Don't look at sexual matters with strange eyes, this is very serious and normal. As a wise king who is considerate of his courtiers, how can he not pay attention to his physical and mental health?"

"Hmm... what you said makes sense." The emperor groaned while rubbing his chin, with some interest in his eyes, "Guess what kind of woman the national teacher likes?"

"The emperor grew up with the national teacher, so he should know him better than me."

"But I have never seen him look at any woman differently, not even a concubine Ji."

"This shows at least two problems." Nie Bufan stretched out two fingers and said, "One is that he has some problems; the other is that he likes men."

The emperor stared at Nie Bufan, uncertain: "Like men?"

Nie Bufan nodded.

The emperor fell silent again.

Nie Bufan was surprised, why didn't he consider the possibility of impotence?

The emperor suddenly said: "For so many years, he has never been with any woman, maybe he really likes men. In this way, he probably has no experience in this area. I really need to help him."

"What is the emperor planning to do?"

"Give him a male acacia map."

"Good idea!" Nie Bufan stretched out his thumb and praised.

"However," the emperor said in a strange tone, "the palace and the people will not openly collect such books, and they must be redrawn."

"Redrawing?" Nie Bufan asked, "Would it take a lot of time?"

"No need, find a painter to observe the painting on the spot. At the level of a court painter, it's just a matter of day and night."

Nie Bufan gave another thumbs up in his heart, this brother emperor is unexpectedly fierce!It completely overturned his previous wise impression of him.

What made him even more stunned was still behind, the emperor continued: "Before this, I decided to experience it myself. After all, I don't have this kind of experience, so I don't know what it's like. If you don't feel happy, then don't bother to help The national teacher drew a picture of acacia."

"Huh? Experience it yourself?" Nie Bufan's eyes widened.

The emperor looked at him with burning eyes.

Nie Bufan took a few steps back, pretending to be calm and said: "Your Majesty, do you need Xiaobao to call someone for you?"

"Come here." The emperor patted the couch beside him, and said in a leisurely manner.

"No." Nie Bufan continued to retreat.Just do what you say, do you want to act like the wind?

"Come here, don't let me say it a third time." The emperor said threateningly.

Nie Bufan quickly ran back to the small room behind the screen. Just as he was about to lock it, he was knocked back a few steps by a strong force. Then his vision went dark and he was pressed heavily against the wall.

"In my bedroom, no one can disobey my orders."

"Your Majesty, it's wrong to indulge in debauchery." Nie Bufan tried hard to preach.

"Really?" the emperor pulled his hair out, sniffed at a strand, and said in a low voice, "Then who was reading obscene words to me just now?"

Who knows if you go up as soon as you say it, do you have a bit of dignity and reserve for a king!

"Let's fight against the gums, and the two bodies unite to grind." The emperor laughed, "What is 'two bodies unite', how can I teach you?"

"The emperor is a genius, so why do you need others to teach you?" Nie Bufan rubbed along the wall like a crab.

"Well said, then let me see if I can learn by myself without a teacher?" The emperor restrained his movements, picked up his belt casually, and brushed his fingers across his neck.

Nie Bufan trembled and struggled: "Your Majesty, let's make a discussion, let Xiaobao go today, tomorrow I will definitely write some good poems for you to serve the country faithfully... ah!"

The emperor hooked his legs, Nie Bufan fell on his back, and was crushed tightly.

"I have many loyal ministers, and I don't need you to add color." The emperor tore off his skirt, revealing a piece of snow-white.

He touched it with his hands, nodded and said, "It's not as soft as a woman's, it's smooth and firm, like fine porcelain."

Continue down: "The waistline is very beautiful, although a little thinner, but the buttocks also feel good."

Nie Bufan tossed and turned, like a kitten being teased by its owner, it wanted to get out of the gap when it saw it, but was caught back every time.

The emperor was only a little bit interested at first, but he couldn't help but feel lustful after being teased by him like this.

He lowered his head and sniffed Nie Bufan's body. It was different from the scent of powder on a woman's body, with the refreshing sunshine and the freshness of vegetation.When you smell it for the first time, it is impressive.

His fingers followed the hip line and penetrated into the secret place, and immediately felt tight and hot, as if he could inhale it.

Nie Bufan stepped back, squeezed his fingers out, didn't dare to turn around, stepped on his chest directly, and used his strength to retreat.

The emperor grabbed his legs, brought him over forcefully, spread his legs apart, and approached him again.

Nie Bufan didn't know that the emperor of the Mong Kingdom was known as the "Merry Emperor" outside the country, and he was equally famous for his promiscuity and ability to govern the country.As long as it is a beautiful woman he likes, he will find a way to get it into his pocket.The only fortunate thing is that he never lays hands on married women.Playing in the harem is useless, but outside the house, he is cautious and observant, which can barely be considered a degree of lewdness.Because of this, he was not impeached too strongly by the minister.

Nie Bufan also did it on his own. In the middle of the night when he was lonely, he recited obscene poems and looked at erotic pictures to the romantic emperor, and he didn't know how to mention men's love, which greatly aroused someone's curiosity.When the unscrupulous emperor meets the unscrupulous village head, it is really a thunderstorm, and it is out of control.

Although Nie Bufan is also unscrupulous, but when it comes to intercourse, he is far from the emperor's opponent.After several provocations, he was already limp and powerless, and his consciousness was blurred.

The emperor pushed forward suddenly, the feeling of being completely engulfed made him intoxicated, reaching the peak every time, it was simply ecstasy.He was originally endowed with extraordinary talent, and that thing was much better than ordinary people. Few women could satisfy him, but this time he experienced the bliss in a man.

Thinking about it this way, I was even more interested and spared no effort to toss.

In the narrow room, two bodies were intertwined and writhing, panting.Tables were overturned, clothes were messed up, and the fighting was fierce.

Outside the door, the eunuch listened to the corner of the wall without changing his expression, while dutifully recording...