After reading through the book, I found out that I am the prototype of the protagonist

Lin Xi always felt that death was the most incomprehensible thing in the world.

Compared with the fact that he will die one day in the future, the death of the people around him is even more difficult for him to accept.Why did people who were visible and tangible in the past suddenly disappear?

The man is nowhere to be found.

The outside of the operating room was cold and cold. There was a small window at the other end of the corridor. It was still dark outside, and the shadows of the trees swayed in the wind.

Grandma seemed to have aged a lot overnight, sitting on a chair in the waiting area.Her back is very straight, but her hair is so messy.After a busy night, she didn't have time to comb her hair.

The doctor said that for an elderly person of this age, sudden cerebral hemorrhage is extremely dangerous.The rescue is still in progress, and no one has time to say a few words to them.Only the young nurse, who may not have seen too many farewells, saw her grandmother's strangely calm expression, and couldn't help but come up to comfort her.

"Yeah." Grandma smiled at her, "I know, I'm prepared."

The little nurse's eyes were red, and she shook her hand before trotting away.

She came back a minute later, handed Lin Xi a pack of tissues, and motioned him to hand them over if he saw grandma crying.

Grandma never cried.She maintained her dignity and did not allow herself to lose her composure at all.Lin Xi couldn't help but bury her head in her knees, she stretched out her bony hand to let him raise his head, that hand was hard.

"Xiao Ye," she said, "don't cry."

She has always been a strong, proud woman.

Lin Xi still remembers that when his mother passed away many years ago, at the funeral of his only daughter, his grandmother did not cry.At that time, she held Lin Xi's little hand tightly, raised her head, straightened her slender neck, and stared at the photo of her daughter's death.

After the ashes were sent to the cemetery, she was the one who led Lin Xi's hand slowly down the mountain.At that time, the white clouds were long and the blue sky was clear. She looked back at the tombstone in the distance, and finally said: "Your mother likes this kind of sunny day the most."

She always goes to the cemetery on her daughter's birthday.As long as the weather was fine, she would take a small bouquet and stay there for half an hour.If it's rainy, she would smile and say, "Oh, rainy days are really annoying. If I go out, my clothes will get dirty, so I won't go to see her."

"I won't cry, grandma." Lin Qi rubbed his red eyes, stared at the door of the operating room and said, "Grandpa is fine."

Grandma smiled lightly: "Yes, don't cry."

In the short hours that passed by, the two of them did not speak another word.Lin Xi didn't have the mood to talk, and he didn't dare to disturb grandma. He felt a strange atmosphere around grandma.

An atmosphere as calm as the surface of a lake.

For example, when he was a child, he ran away from home countless times in a fit of anger, yelling "I'm going to find my mother!", and then slammed the door fiercely to leave. He always expected that his grandparents would stop him anxiously He conjured his long-dead mother from the room.

He ran downstairs all the way, saw no one was chasing him, looked upstairs anxiously, and found grandma leaning against the window and watching him quietly.

At that time, my grandmother had such an atmosphere.

Lin Xi felt his whole body was stiff, his bones ached terribly, and when he moved a little, his legs felt as if they hadn't moved for 1 years, and it was so awkward to use.He twisted his neck and looked down the corridor.

The sky is bright.

"Grandma," he said unconsciously, "the sun is out."

Before he turned his head, he felt his grandmother's eyes brushing his cheeks, looking over there.Although it was absurd to describe it like this, he really felt that those eyes were extremely old.

Suddenly, there was a sound of a door opening in their ears.As if cold water poured in from the wide open door of the operating room, Lin Xi shuddered and stood up abruptly.

"Grandma." Looking at the chief surgeon walking towards him, Lin Xi subconsciously called her in a low voice.

"Hey." Grandma responded hastily, and stood up slowly, she might be numb too.

Like a restless quail, he stood timidly next to his grandmother, wishing to cut off his ears so that he could listen to the doctor by himself.

The doctor was extremely tired. There were deep ditches between his brows, but his eyes were full of regret and sympathy.Lin Xi's ears clearly heard him say: "Please forgive me."

With a bang, as if all his strength had been sucked away, countless white lights flashed in Lin Xi's mind.He dared not think of anything.

Grandpa left?What to do, he doesn't have a grandfather anymore.Grandma should be so sad, how should I comfort grandma?

But is there anything for consolation about dying?

He said blankly: "Why?" Why do people have to die?

The doctor thought he was asking himself, and told him as much as possible about the condition of the deceased and the specific details of the operation.But Lin Xi didn't listen to anything.He just couldn't understand how a good person, who was chatting with him not long ago with laughter and laughter, disappeared now.

His hands were clenched again.Grandma's hand was so cold that she held him tightly again.Her voice is not pleasant, as she said, she is old and hoarse: "Xiao Ye, don't make things difficult for the doctor."

"Let's go see him," she said.

Grandma walked very slowly, almost faltering.Grandma walked steadily again, approaching her deceased husband step by step.

She also smiled, and said to the grandfather who closed his eyes with a smile: "If you wrote me a song last time, how happy I would be now."

Unable to open his eyes anymore, he could no longer express his anger with his eyes.

She squatted down, took Grandpa's hand with her hand, and then pressed her cheek against it.

Ten seconds later, she stood up restrainedly, stroked the weeping Lin Xi gently on the head a few times, and said, "Okay, Xiao Ye, we have to do something."

Lin Qi was in a daze for the next few days.A person who has never organized a funeral will be forced to learn this skill after experiencing the death of a loved one, but Lin Xi messed it up terribly.He is immersed in grief, has difficulty pulling himself up, and often does wrong things.

Notifying relatives and friends is even done by grandma.

Jiang Xiusi and Yang Qing helped him to contact the funeral home and other matters.

Lin Qi kept vigil for his grandfather all night long, refusing to go to sleep.But he fell into deep confusion, staring at a place from time to time in a daze, without saying a word.

On the day they sent grandpa up the mountain, they had to set off at five o'clock in the morning.Lin Xi washed his face with cold water, but when he came out, he saw his grandmother sitting on the sofa in the living room watching TV.

She turned her head and saw Lin Qi, stood up and straightened his collar, and told him to add another coat: "It's cold in the mountains."

"I'm not cold." He shook his head.

Grandma insisted that he put on a thick coat, and helped him smooth out the wrinkles on the clothes, and then stood on tiptoe and patted the fur collar of the brim of the hat lightly.She is much shorter than her grandson.

"Grandma," Lin Xi asked her suddenly, "do you know the Realm of Chaos?"

Grandma didn't know: "What is that?"

"It's a place with a big tree. The fruits on the tree record people's memories. When the fruits are ripe and fall from the branches, those things will never be remembered again."

"Oh. That's it." Grandma said.

All the fruit on that tree will slowly die away, and eventually only the branches and leaves will remain.Last time in the book, Lin Xi accepted it.But now, he found that he couldn't accept it at all!

Why?

He hated the book, hated anything in it.Why should he believe everything that is made up inside?Did he go there just to get such a lie about death?

He was naïve like a child and asked a heartbreaking question: "Will Grandma forget Grandpa?"

Grandma froze for a moment.She gathered her hair together with her skinny hands, and neatly stroked the raised strands behind her ears and pressed them tightly.

"Grandma?" Lin Xi called her softly.

Grandma let out a "hey" and smiled at him: "It's time to go out, it's going to be too late."

Before the TV was turned off, she turned around and picked up the remote control from the table.Peking opera is being played on the screen, and the singing is melodious and moving.

"Life is not the same quilt, death is the same hole, death is the same hole, I have done it, I have done it, I have done it. The flowers on the bottom of the leaves are at ease. Although it is spring and autumn, it is regretful and regretful."

This passage can be sung for a long time in Peking Opera.However, the person who turned off the TV did not press the button for a long time.

The show had switched to the next one, and grandma sighed as if waking up from a dream: "What a show."

Lin Qi felt flustered.He approached grandma nervously, took the remote control to turn off the TV, and looked at her cautiously: "Grandma."

The reassuring hand came up again.She held Lin Xi's hand tightly, and patted the back of his hand with the other: "Grandma is fine."

Lin Qi was still in a daze until he stood in front of the tombstone.He still couldn't accept the fact that a living person died suddenly.

It was also a sunny day.The air is clear and the sun is shining all over Songgang.

The farewell ceremony has been completed, and relatives and friends are leaving one by one.They also stood in front of the tomb for too long, and grandma took his hand and said, "Let's go, Xiao Ye."

Lin Xi couldn't move, and he couldn't exert any strength in his whole body.The sun made his eyes turn white, and his mind was dizzy.

But he couldn't make grandma worry, so he tried his best to move and follow her.

Suddenly, a pure white bird flew over, it was so beautiful, it hovered a few times and then stopped on the tombstone.

All eyes are drawn to it.

I don't know who said "turn into a bird and fly away", and grandma burst into tears in an instant.

She cautiously moved forward a little bit, then backed away, as if she wanted to get close to the little bird but was afraid of disturbing it.Seeing that it hadn't left, she opened her teary eyes and sang a song with a hoarse, old voice.

Grandpa wrote too many songs for her during his lifetime.As the only reward, this song has become an elegy, and she wants to sing it happily, without being sad at all.

"Go, there are bright flowers blooming beside the long river.

Let's go, there are white clouds floating in the blue sky far away.

Look, young me and you in the vast wilderness.

Hope, we will meet again in the eternal kingdom of heaven. "

The white bird flapped its wings and flew into the sky again, as if there really was a heaven in the distance, and it was going to set off there.

Lin Xi stared at it blankly without blinking, gradually only white light remained in his sight.

The author has something to say: Now that I write, I feel more and more that I am too superficial!

I hope that readers' minds will not stop at any point of view in this article. (Although I feel that everyone will not be entangled with these unnutritious things I wrote haha)

(ps: The previous chapter has been modified, and the progress of the relationship line has been re-adjusted. Again, ps: the Peking Opera lyrics are from "The Butterfly Lovers")