godfather

The one who came outside the door was of course my own father, Meng Jianmin.

Meng Jianmin made a special trip all the way from Xi'an, and he didn't miss a day, just for his son.This person's eye sockets are sunken and bloodshot, his body is thin but still upright and self-supporting.During the two years of recuperating at home, he was fed medicine like a force-feeding duck, and he could smell a rotten medicine smell all over his body.His lung water symptoms have subsided a lot, and he hasn't had to go to the hospital for water pumps for a long time. He has been cured, and he only needs to take Chinese medicine pills for conditioning.

Meng Jianmin was also unexpectedly calm and restrained, and he did not forget the etiquette of visiting the door, and came to the door with his things.

What Meng Jianmin carried were two hardcover bottles of Xifeng tied with red strings, and a box of dim sum bought from a restaurant in Xi'an.Shaotang's eyes turned hot.Meng Jianmin nodded to Shaotang.Shaotang noticed that Jianmin's hands were still shaking quietly, and the wine box bumped the table.

The three fell into an unbearable silence, and there was silence all around.

The first ray of sunlight in the morning shines through the balcony and fills the living room.The trousers that Meng Xiaobei had changed were thrown on the sofa, and two tea-stained mugs were placed on the tea table. The room was a little messy. It looked like a man's place, but it felt like a home.Meng Jianmin endured it for a moment, so suppressed that his shoulders trembled and his heart trembled, he suddenly leaned over and walked to the master bedroom!

Shaotang strode forward and stopped him: "Jianmin."

Meng Jianmin said, "I'll go in and have a look."

Shaotang: "Don't look at it."

Meng Jianmin's eyes were red: "I just want to know, what's going on? ... I shouldn't find out what happened to my son?"

Shaotang grabbed Meng Jianmin's wrist, twisted it tightly, and stopped him.The two men stared straight at each other, their eyes were deeply penetrating, and it was clear without saying anything.

The two fathers pointed at the door sharply at the same time and drove Meng Xiaobei out, not letting their sons get involved and wanting to talk in private.

Meng Xiaobei was forced to get out of the house, and walked around downstairs anxiously, with anxiety in his stomach.Downstairs in the community garden, there are aunts and uncles doing morning exercises, stretching their arms and legs slowly, and the world is shrouded in a peaceful light.However, the sunlight above his head deeply hurt Meng Xiaobei's eyes, dazzled his eyes, and his heart was like duckweed floating in the waves.This road really requires courage, struggling in the waves, and I don’t know which wave hits it, and it will be washed away...

He simply ran around the downstairs of their house. After running many laps, his back was soaked in sweat and his hair roots were damp.

Meng Xiaobei breathed heavily from his chest.I have always felt that I have grown up, an adult man, but at the critical moment, I still seem small and cowardly, pushing Shaotang alone to face all possible censure and pressure that ensued, Shaotang went to carry the explosives to block the eye, I'm so fucking useless.

Meng Xiaobei bought soybean milk and Roujiamo from the early stall downstairs, and went upstairs again!

……

Negotiations between Meng Jianmin and Shaotang are destined to fail to reach a compromise.The two hoped that the choice Meng Xiaobei would make would be the opposite.Both are fathers and both love this son.For Meng Jianmin, Meng Xiaobei is his eldest son, the grandson of Meng's parents, a talented person with a bright future, and he cares about this son.As for He Shaotang, this is the big baby he raised by his side and watched him grow up. The first half of his life has paid for the hard work of watering the flowers and fertilizing, and the second half of his life is eager to spend the rest of his life together. They are inseparable dependence on each other.

Meng Jianmin said, I didn't dare to tell my wife, Ma Baochun didn't know, neither did our old lady, I came alone.I just want to figure it out!If I made a mistake today, Shaotang, you tell me I made a mistake, it’s okay, then I will leave immediately, and nothing will happen to the two of us.

Shaotang clasped his hands together tightly, and said, I did not hide it from you properly, I did not restrain my feelings, and I was sincere to Xiaobei.

Meng Jianmin said Shaotang, are you confused?You are also Meng Xiaobei's father!what do you think? !

Shaotang said that the relationship has crossed the line... I really love him.No jokes, no disrespect, I take Xiao Bei as my lover.I hope you can agree and have no regrets in the future.

Meng Jianmin's eyes are messed up, no matter how much you like him, you can't do this!Even if Meng Xiaobei is my daughter, he is a girl, you can't do it, he calls you Dad!He called you a godfather at the beginning, but now that he has grown up, the two of you will always be father and son for life, the most important family ethics in China, and the most basic morality of being a human being.We have been brothers for so many years, you call me "big brother", are you slapping me in the face?Are you hitting me in the face?

Shaotang said, I have called you big brother for 15 years, and then I have loved your son for ten years, isn't it hard for me?

Meng Jianmin took out cigarettes from the cigarette box on the coffee table. He hadn't smoked for several years due to illness, and his hands were shaking.

Shaotang lit a cigarette for him, and the light blue flames burned on the pupils of the two, creating a mess of flames...

Meng Jianmin has always trusted Shaotang so much. He has known each other for almost 20 years, drinking at the same table and sleeping in a bed. It is the relationship of brothers with different surnames who walked side by side during the most difficult years in Xigou.Now the life of each family is gradually stable and prosperous, and everyone's life is well-off, living in a new house of the unit, earning double the salary, doing business, and earning a lot of money.Sure enough, people can only share adversity, but it is difficult to share wealth;

In this situation, the impact of father-son incest on Meng Jianmin's senses and senses even surpassed the social taboos on gay love at that time.He believed so much that he entrusted his son to be raised by the other party, thinking that this was a shortcut to send Meng Xiaobei to a new life!

How ironic!

When a person reaches a certain age, his outlook on life and values ​​have already been formed. It is difficult to turn back after embarking on one path, and it is difficult to convince each other.

Two middle-aged men sat side by side on the sofa, smoking heavily, and their hearts were filled with torment.

Meng Jianmin said with difficulty: "Shaotang, I have always believed that you are reliable and upright. Meng Xiaobei is a child, after all you are ten years older than him..."

Shaotang said: "When I first met Xiao Bei, he was a child, a very lively and cute boy, and I really never thought that he would go to this day."

"It has nothing to do with Xiaobei's age. He is the one who can touch me, tempt me, and want to pamper and take care of me. It makes me feel that there is someone in this world who can make up for my lost and incomplete part from the bottom of my heart and from the spiritual world. .Some things I haven’t even said to Xiaobei, he makes me feel emotionally complete, spiritually happy, and life has hope...I can’t do without him.”

Meng Jianmin couldn't believe it: "You haven't been married for so many years, and whoever introduced you said no! So you are that kind of "comrade" in the society. Actually, I also understand that there are such people among the young people who jump in the queue in the rural areas of northern Shaanxi. , I am not discriminatory."

Shaotang interrupted, shaking his head: "I really don't think I'm a 'comrade', not what you think, Jianmin."

"I don't have anyone else. Xiao Bei has been alone for so many years. I came here with each other. I like Bei Bei. I don't care whether he is a big girl or a bald boy."

Meng Jianmin slapped the coffee table, almost hurting his hand.My hands hurt, my heart hurts, and my heart feels like twisting.Meng Jianmin said, "No matter how much you like my son, it shouldn't have happened! Aren't you bullying his child? Isn't this obscene..."

Meng Xiaobei came in at this time, strode into the room, stood in the living room, standing up straight is quite tall.

Meng Xiaobei said: "Father, you are not allowed to say that, godfather did not bully me."

Meng Jianmin: "You still call Shaotang 'godfather'."

Meng Xiaobei tilted his head: "Then I still call him something else in private! If I call him something else, I can't tell you."

Shaotang: "...Xiao Bei, speak carefully."

"Eat breakfast, both of you." Meng Xiaobei pouted, and put the soya-bean milk meat buns on the coffee table, "Dad, I am not young anymore, I am an adult, I was the one who chased Shaotang, and I bullied him. Back then I molested him. He's coming!! Don't wrong Shaotang."

Meng Jianmin: "..."

Shaotang: "..."

Meng Xiaobei looked directly at his father, without any concealment: "I took the initiative, and I did it. It was me...I wanted to be with him..."

Shaotang: "Xiao Bei, don't talk nonsense."

Meng Xiaobei stared fiercely and retorted: "The first time was... what I said was the truth!"

Shaotang glared Meng Xiaobei back with even more fierce eyes, you can save face for me, okay?

Shaotang said to Meng Jianmin: "I like him, I admit what I did, and I am responsible."

"Jianmin, you entrusted the child to me. I care about your confession. I have given all I have to bring Meng Xiaobei to such a big place. I am also a human being. I am not heartless, even people can be tempted! I raised him I have feelings for him for 13 years!!"

"When the Xigou villagers rioted, the whole village chased and killed people in our factory with sickles. I took Xiaobei out of the hole. At that time, I didn't think about anything else."

"There was a flood, and the Weihe River was almost swept away by the water. I carried the box of milk powder and climbed ashore. At that time, I really didn't have any distracting thoughts, absolutely never thought about it!"

"On the night of Xiaobei's 11th birthday, during the loneliest and darkest years of my life, Xiaobei hugged me to comfort me, saying that no one in the world wants me, he wants me... At that time, I began to think in my heart, this kid Why is it so painful, if he is a girl, when he grows up in the future, I will definitely chase him."

"I came back from Inner Mongolia. For four years, he hasn't changed. He has been waiting for me. He got into trouble with the whole family. It was the first time I saw Xiaobei crying to me, saying he liked me...I told him, I did too. "

"On the eve of the college entrance examination, he called me. The child was so stressed that he broke down and cried. He said, "For me, I must also come to Beijing for the exam. Where is he?" The water that flows into my heart, drips through the stone; the drop of blood that melts into my veins, the blood is connected to the heart."

Shaotang wanted to say that Lao Tzu was not as strong as outsiders saw. Men would be lonely and fragile, and would be soft-hearted. No matter how hard a stone was called "big baby", it would be pierced and surrendered.

"That day, in front of our house, Xiaobei blocked a knife for me. His hands were covered in blood, and his little finger can't be straightened. At that time, I decided on this person in my heart. I will marry him as my wife and take care of him for the rest of my life. There is such a person in this world who can go all out for you, Jianmin, if you were me, you would be indifferent?!"

"I really want to live with Beibei for the rest of my life, I want your son, is it okay, is it okay Jianmin?!"

Meng Jianmin's heart trembled, his spine slowly bent, his eyes were full of tears, and he was stabbed internally for many years by a single sentence.

"I want your son."

Do you regret it now?

Is there any use in regretting?

Giving my son to others to take care of, I owe a great favor, and now I still want to get it back, even if I kowtow and kneel to beg, I can't get it back.

The bleakness of the times is also doomed by choice. The eldest brother and his parents have been separated for more than ten years, which is equivalent to two families.These ten years are exactly the age when a boy's puberty is ambiguous and his body is squirming. Meng Xiaobei seems to belong to He Shaotang as a matter of course, and his blood relationship is not worth the grace of upbringing.

As for Meng Jianmin, abandoning Xiaobei and letting them go, would destroy the reputation and dignity of the three generations of the Meng family.As a man and father who sticks to traditional concepts, he must never bear this sin.

As for Shaotang, to give up Xiaobei is to give up all his emotions and painstaking efforts in the past half of his life. Who would be willing to change it?

His biological parents didn't have the chance to understand the trivial things in life, and Meng Jianmin knew nothing about them. That was the Xiaobei that Shaotang was most familiar with.

Meng Xiaobei satisfies all his emotional needs as a man; in front of Xiaobei, he can be a father, brother, comrade-in-arms, lover, life partner, and even a child. nothing left.This kind of fate, no one else can give him, Meng Xiaobei is the "unique".

It is even more impossible for Shaotang to give up, the sword and the sea of ​​fire are on the verge of death.

Meng Jianmin left that day and did not let go of his agreement.

Meng Jianmin repeatedly told the two of them, don't tell the old man and the old lady, they are too old to stand this stimulation, so don't tell them.

At this time, I still wanted to keep it a secret, and persuade them slowly, to persuade these two people to separate, not to bring such nonsense, to separate, and pretend that nothing happened.In the future, Meng Xiaobei will still work and live in society, have a family, and live a normal life.

A few days later, the old man of the Meng family had his [-]th birthday.

On the same day, chickens were slaughtered and fishes were sliced, and a table of sumptuous dishes brought together three generations of the whole family.The old couple also thought that Meng Jianmin came to Beijing to celebrate the old man's birthday, how could they know the inside story!

Meng Xiaobei was confined at home by his father, and did ideological work in private for two days.He sat in the room talking with his grandfather, trying his best to maintain an optimistic smile, with a nonchalant look, just kept looking down at the pager.

The whole family came that day, and they all went to the table for dinner. The old lady suddenly felt that something was wrong. There was an important person missing. Where is Shaotang?

This person usually comes to drop by every now and then, but why isn't he coming today?Shaotang is the person who understands people and the world best, and is very good at handling things. How could the old man not come to celebrate his [-]th birthday?

Shaotang is a member of the Meng family, a member of the family, and the old lady can't do without Shaotang.

Meng Xiaobei explained: "Dad has something to do at work in the past two days. I'm busy. I'll toast grandpa on his behalf."

Grandma Meng: "I didn't even make a single call? What's the point? Why can't you come over and have a meal with Grandpa Ye?!"

Meng Xiaobei said: "I represent him with full authority. My presence means that he is also present. That's enough."

Shaotang actually came early in the morning and sat downstairs in the car for a long time, then got out of the car and went upstairs with cigarettes and alcohol.

Shaotang gave the things to the old lady at the door, bowed to the old lady in a dignified manner, and then bowed to say goodbye.Meng Jianmin's face was depressed and anxious, and he never looked into Shaotang's eyes or spoke to him from the beginning to the end.

Grandma Meng refused to let them go: "Shao Tang, why didn't you even step into my house so that you didn't want to see me anymore?!"

Meng Xiaobei didn't say a word, he squeezed through the crack of the door and wanted to chase him out, but was grabbed by his father!Meng Jianmin's eyes suddenly turned red and hemorrhaged, and he shouted, "Meng Xiaobei, come back to me!!!!"

The whole family was shocked.

Meng Xiaobei held Shaotang's wrist tightly and looked at his father.

Standing between the two fathers, it was a look of determination, with no room for compromise.

There are some things that no one can believe when they are told, and they simply cannot accept them for a while.This is the thunder that fell from the blue sky above the old man's birthday banquet, and hit the roof of Meng's house, and it collapsed.

Meng Jianmin had a father and a son, and his dignity was thrown to the ground.He wants to kneel down for his precious son, do you still want this home?

Meng Xiaobei said: "Dad, I want a family, and Shaotang is my family. He and I are already married, so just nod your head, okay!"

Grandpa Meng and Grandma Meng didn't believe it at all, and they didn't accept this situation at all.The old lady turned around and scolded the little girl first: "Jianju, go to Xi'an and tell your brother what's left? You see what's left and you talk nonsense, what are you doing!!!"

This time the whole family was in an uproar.

In the age when same-sex feelings were kept secret, most people could not imagine that this kind of thing happened in their own home, with the most familiar and close people around them.If you roll your eyes at two people who have nothing to do with each other in society, and say "stinky hooligan" in disgust, be puzzled, contemptuous, and indifferent, this is the natural reaction of most people.No one will dig deep into it, why are two men in love, how is it possible?

However, when Meng Xiaobei took Shaotang's hand and confessed in front of the whole family, everyone didn't seem to need to ask this question, why are these two people "together"?

This feeling is very strange, and it can only happen to Shaotang and Xiaobei.It was as if a pot of big steamed buns had been thoroughly steamed, and everyone knew exactly what stuffing was wrapped in the buns. They should have been uncovered a long time ago, but they kept covering them. Today, the fog was finally cleared to see the light of day!The next step is whether you nod your head as a family, and whether you are willing to eat this steamed bun.For so many years, it has come to fruition and the truth has come to light, and all explanations are redundant and superfluous.On the contrary, if you want to vote against, you need to repeat two reasons desperately, "You are both men", "You two are a generation behind"!

At that time, Shaotang entered the house and knelt down to the old lady and the old man.

The man has gold at his knees, and Shaotang has never knelt down to his own father, because he has never given anything and doesn't bother to ask for it. Everyone has someone Shen Diandian cares about most in their hearts.

The old lady sat on the head of the bed, staring blankly at her godson.Shaotang's eyes were also red, and he put his hands on the side of the bed, and said to the old lady, "I'm sorry, I like your Beibei, I'm sorry"...

Granny Meng burst into tears, unable to utter a word, uncharacteristically, she was the quietest one in the whole house, as dull as a sculpture, with a trance in her eyes.

In the confusion, Meng Xiaobei heard his second uncle scolding in the corridor, He Shaotang, what are you doing?Aren't you just playing hooligans, aren't you bullying people!No matter how capable your family is, you are capable, and you are the son of a high-ranking official, you can't bully us ordinary people like this! ...You are the group of children from the big courtyard and high-ranking officers in the army who are the darkest, and the hearts are even darker!During the Cultural Revolution, it was you who were the Red Guards who smashed and looted, but now you are the ones who buy and sell to drive up prices, you are the ones who embezzled and sold state-owned assets, bankrupted the factories and laid off our workers, you are the ones who murdered and set fires on the streets, you even Meng Xiaobei You can do it with a child...

The scene was chaotic at that time, and the family was at a loss and noisy.My aunt said, "It's not like this, I've never heard of it being like this."My uncle said, "There's no such thing as a human being."His second uncle carried a stick from the kitchen, which seemed to be a long rolling pin, which the old lady used to roll out noodles.The second uncle hit Shaotang on the back shoulder with a rolling pin, but Shaotang didn't move, and heard the sound of bones.

Meng Jianmin stopped him, "Speak well, don't do anything!"Meng Xiaobei rushed forward to grab him, roaring until the veins on his neck swelled.When they started fighting, his second uncle slapped Shaotang on the head with a stick.

Shaotang rested his elbows on the side of the bed, at the browbones and temples, blood spattered and flowed onto the collar of his shirt.