back to innocence

Liang Qing turned his head to look at Fei Yizhen, then turned his head back and said, "I might have something to do at that time, so I can't go with you."

Fei Yizhen nodded.

The two got into the car as if nothing had happened.Liang Qing looked out the window, motionless, not looking at Fei Yizhen, wondering what he was thinking.Then one of his hands was suddenly held tightly by another cold and soft palm.

Fei Yizhen looked at him, his eyes reflected the light of the sky, his lips were tightly pressed as if he was saying something, but he couldn't say it.

In the end, he just held Liang Qing's hand, turned his head away, and looked at the scenery outside the window on the other side.

Only the cold fingers never let go, even if they were frostbitten by the morning air, they were unwilling to let go just like that.

Fei Yizhen looked out the window at the bleak winter scenery slowly entering, and felt Liang Qing's fingers slowly exert force, and held his hand instead, but he didn't know how to convey his thoughts to Liang Qing.

He didn't sleep very well last night.

He didn't know whether it was due to his overactive imagination or a forgotten dream in his half-dream, he always felt that there was a girl running wildly in a hospital full of strange and twisted lunatics.She ran repeatedly in countless corridors and prison-like empty rooms, but she couldn't find the exit. Finally, she let out a scream, and slowly squatted down, becoming a lunatic too.

Fei Yi was really awakened by the nightmare.

Repeatedly like this, gradually the person in that impression became Liang Qing at some point.Finally, half asleep and half awake, he saw Liang Qing standing on the empty corridor, with small rooms separated by fences on both sides, like a mental hospital or a prison.

He stood there expressionless, but seemed to have a twisted smile.

A knife was held in a dangling wrist, and the blade was dripping with blood.

Fei Yizhen opened his eyes and found that the sky was still half-bright, but he couldn't fall asleep anymore.

—Did I do something?Did I change something that made all the difference?

However, he had already lost his impression of the "Liang Qing" he had seen before. With the passage of time, the current Liang Qing is slowly but firmly covering the "former Liang Qing".

The shadow of "Liang Qing" has become blurred.

Fei Yi really thought, I can't let him become like that.

But what can he do?

He doesn't know what he can do.

All exams are finally over on Friday.The next day Fei Yizhen got on the bus to the hospital where Fan Xiyu was.This hospital is very remote, not even in the city.It took Fei Yizhen a lot of time to get there by car.

After registering with the guard and entering, Fei Yizhen found that the management of this place is extremely strict. From the ground floor to the fourth floor, all the windows are equipped with iron bars. It doesn't look like a hospital, but like a prison.

His heart creaked, and he felt a little chill all over.

It was hard for him to imagine what it would be like for a normal, young girl to be locked up in such a place.Will Liang Qing know everything that the other party may encounter?

When walking all the way to the inpatient area, Fei Yizhen heard all kinds of noisy voices, some were laughing strangely, some were talking ghostly, and a woman stopped the nurse, insisting that another patient wanted to Murdering her with a knife and fork... All kinds of voices gave Fei Yizhen goosebumps.

When he went to the nurse and asked about Fan Xiyu, the nurse looked through the records for a long time, but told him that Fan Xiyu had been picked up by her parents, saying that she had been transferred to another hospital.

Fei Yi was really surprised and asked where he went.The nurse only said that he was transferred to another hospital with the assistance of the police, but refused to tell him where he went.

When Fei Yizhen heard that he was picked up by his parents, his worries had eased a little, but when he heard that he was assisted by the police, his heart sank a little.

It's a pity that even though he was exhausted, the nurse just emphasized that the patient's privacy should not be disclosed, and refused to tell him Fan Xiyu's whereabouts.

After returning home, Fei Yizhen started to inquire about Fan Xiyu's news again, but it seemed that there was no news about the transfer this time. Anyway, Fei Yizhen didn't find out anything, as if the public had no news about this person. care.

But he didn't give up, and kept trying to find out about her through various channels.

After Liang Qing finally found out about his actions, he was really angry. He held him down and shouted: "What do you want to know!? Isn't it good that she was picked up by her parents!? Will her parents still hurt her! ?”

Fei Yizhen said: "I just want to know what happened."

"Then what can you do if you know? What can you do if you really prove what I did!?" Liang Qing sneered, "Do you want to rehabilitate her!? Then prove that I planned to murder her?"

Fei Yi really felt his heart beating fast, almost to the point of breaking his heartstrings, tremblingly asked: "Do you have any?"

Liang Qing said: "Isn't that what you think?"

Fei Yizhen asked: "Do you have any?"

Liang Qing sneered: "It doesn't matter if I have or not, haven't you already decided that?"

Fei Yizhen shook his head vigorously and said, "No, I hope the result is that you didn't."

"If that's the case, why do you still want to see Fan Xiyu so persistently? Why don't you just let this matter go?" Liang Qing looked at Fei Yizhen with deep eyes and said word by word.

"Because you can't convince me!" Fei Yizhen said with difficulty, "Sometimes my hope doesn't match my understanding. I need more favorable evidence to convince me, but I can't I avoided the truth because I hoped that it might run counter to me. No matter what the result is, I will confirm it with my own eyes."

"...Fei Yizhen, has anyone ever told you that you are stubborn?" After a while, Liang Qing asked with a sad expression.

Fei Yizhen opened his mouth, but finally fell silent and did not answer.

"Then, if it is confirmed that she is not crazy, and the real criminal is me, what do you want? Do you want to send me to a prison or a lunatic asylum?" Liang Qing looked at him and asked calmly.

Fei Yizhen was stunned for a moment.

Liang Qing asked again, "What will you do?"

Fei Yizhen couldn't open his mouth for a while, and after a long time, he asked in a weak voice that was almost breathless: "What do you mean by this sentence?"

"That's what you mean."

Fei Yizhen took a step back, and took a breath as if he couldn't bear the news.It took him a long time to utter a complete sentence: "How... can you do this?"

Liang Qing asked back: "Why can't I?"

He raised his chin high and looked at Fei Yizhen with a condescending expression, so indifferent that Fei Yizhen almost thought it was someone else.

With a trembling voice, Fei Yizhen asked, "Ah Qing, do you know what you did? It wasn't a slap, a fight, it was a girl's entire future."

Liang Qing stretched out his hand, held Fei Yizhen's head, and said: "So you can make a decision now, whether to choose me, or to save her and destroy my future. Tell me, Fei Yizhen, you have to choose which one?"

Fei Yizhen was pinned by his hands on the back of his head and forced to question him. He couldn't tell what kind of complicated emotions he had, so he stretched out his hands and pulled down Liang Qing's arms, showing a struggling expression, and clenched his teeth.

Liang Qing pressed again: "Tell you, who do you choose?"

Fei Yizhen didn't speak all the time, so Liang Qing reached out to help him take out the mobile phone in his trouser pocket, unlocked the safety lock, put it in his hand, and said: "If you really want to help Fan Xiyu, call now Call the police and tell the police about this matter. I can tell you the phone number of Officer Li, he will be happy to arrest me. If it is Yizhen, you call the police, I will not resist, and I will confess all the crimes truthfully."

He stuck to Fei Yizhen's ear and urged: "Call the police."

Fei Yizhen finally broke down completely, pushed him away, and ran away staggeringly.

Fei Yizhen returned home, holding his mobile phone, feeling his mind was blank.

His mind was full of things about Fan Xiyu and Liang Qing. For a while, it was the scene in the mental hospital that was obviously different from the world of ordinary people. For a while, it was Liang Qing's sad and condemning smile. The fact of the arrest and detention... the confusion of thoughts and feelings filled his whole brain and made him unable to think.

Fan Xiyu's appearance was churning in his mind, and the expression on that face became more and more mocking, but when Fei Yizhen realized that he had unconsciously pressed the first mobile phone number, it was almost like a conditioned reflex Pressed the dial interface.He bent his knees and curled himself up tightly in a small corner of the bed against the wall, feeling that even the air had become cramped, making it hard to breathe.

After turning on and off the phone several times, he finally found that no matter how many times he pressed the dial interface, it was actually impossible for him to make any calls.

This fact was doomed from the very beginning, and it was impossible for him to report Liang Qing.

Conscience told him that you are colluding with others and ruining a girl's future; but it also told him that even for a moment he would have the idea of ​​reporting Liang Qing, which is a double betrayal of feelings and conscience.

The two consciousnesses couldn't fight in his chest, almost tearing his personality in two.

He didn't eat, and curled up quietly in the corner of the bed for a long time. In the end, perhaps because of the heavy burden on his mind, he felt mentally exhausted, and fell asleep without knowing it.

Then he dreamed that Liang Qing was wearing shackles and standing in the middle of an empty prison.He stood there. Although the prison roughly looked like a prison, the walls looked like half of the rolling red lava. Liang Qing stepped on the lava, and the soles of his feet and ankles were covered with a layer of terrifying. Scorching and blistering.

He asked, "Yizhen, are you happy?"

——Yizhen, are you happy?

Fei Yi woke up from his sleep panting anxiously.

He stared at the ceiling and breathed desperately, his eyes failed to regain their focus for a long time.

Then, he found that he was still holding the phone in his hand, and after a pause, he slammed it on the ground with all his strength, breaking it in half.

Then Fei Yizhen felt as if he was suddenly relieved, the cold sweat from his body soaked most of his underwear, but he didn't feel the cold and uncomfortable at all.

Liang Qing, you have won.

The next morning, Fei Yizhen felt nauseous after eating two mouthfuls of breakfast. He couldn't help but ran to the toilet and vomited.

Chen Xueyan was taken aback, and hurriedly asked what was going on.Fei Yizhen just rinsed his mouth, shook his head palely, and said with a smile that it was all right.

Fei Zhiming touched his forehead and asked, "Are you sick? If you feel uncomfortable, just say so. Don't hold on. I'll ask Xiao Wang to accompany you and your mother to the hospital."

But Fei Yizhen shook his head again, and insisted: "I'm really fine, maybe I have a little cold and haven't rested."

Hearing what he said, Fei Zhiming didn't insist. He just confessed: "Then you go back and go to sleep. Anyway, it's winter vacation, so you don't need to get up so early. Drink some water and take some cold medicine later. Then take a good rest."

Fei Yi complied obediently.

In the end, he just drank a cup of cold medicine and returned to his room without eating anything.

In fact, he didn't sleep well last night, but although he was extremely tired physically, he was mentally excited and extremely awake, and he had no intention of falling asleep at all.

But his body was extremely exhausted, and he couldn't turn on the computer to start his homework.

In the end, he had no choice but to wrap himself in the quilt and lie quietly on the bed without doing anything.

He tried to think of nothing, tried to sleep, but to no avail.The matter of Fan Xiyu and the mental hospital kept coming up, and he couldn't forget it even if he wanted to. Fei Yi really felt that he was going to be driven crazy by himself.

If this is crazy, maybe it will be much better?At least a lunatic would not feel guilty about making himself suffer like this.

But the thought was only fleeting.

Fei Yi really wanted to try to persuade himself not to care about this kind of thing, and comfort himself that people would not be destroyed for himself, but this could not distort his cognition.

Wrong never becomes right.

Hurt is hurt.

Two days later, Fei Zhiming and Chen Xueyan discovered that Fei Yizhen's so-called minor cold had not improved over time, but had become more serious.Dizziness, chest tightness, night sweats... The cold sweat almost soaked the whole body, but the body temperature was still low, and the palms felt as cold as dead people.

If it wasn't for the fact that his palm was still as soft as ever, Chen Xueyan would even think that what she touched was actually a corpse.

On the first day, Fei Yi really didn't have any appetite, and he only took two sips of the white porridge specially cooked by Chen Xueyan, but he felt uncomfortable and couldn't finish it. The couple also thought it was because he was not feeling well and had no appetite.But as time passed, even after taking the medicine, his condition did not improve at all.

The next afternoon, Chen Xueyan was worried that he hadn't eaten well for two days, so she made a bowl of clear noodle soup and forced Fei Yizhen to eat it.Fei Yizhen also knew that he had made Chen Xueyan worry, so he ate it with dignity.

It didn't take long for something to happen.

Fei Yizhen vomited out most of what he ate, and at the same time, there were streaks of blood.

Fei Zhiming was already worried because of Fei Yizhen's illness, so he got off work early that day. After hearing the news, he dropped everything and rushed to the hospital.

The emergency doctor helped Fei Yizhen see the illness, arranged for him to be put on an IV, and then said to Fei Zhiming and his wife, "Cold? What kind of cold would be such a symptom? He obviously has anxiety disorder, and he also has a slight stomach ache." Ulcers. What's worth pushing a half-grown child so hard?"

Both Fei Zhiming and Chen Xueyan were stunned. After a while, Fei Zhiming hesitated and asked, "Doctor, are you sure you didn't make a wrong diagnosis?"

The doctor said: "Ninety-nine are close to ten. His body is actually very healthy. Except for the concurrent gastric ulcer problem, it seems that most of the problems are mental. I will let you take him to do a set later. A more comprehensive inspection should be able to make a better judgment. When did he appear in this situation, and has similar things happened before?"

"It started yesterday...it was a cold and I felt uncomfortable, and then I suddenly fell ill." Chen Xueyan replied with some anxiety.

"Did you fail the final exam?"

"He is in the second year of No. [-] Middle School. His grades just came out yesterday, and he is in the top three of the grade. And he likes to study very much. Actually, we didn't ask for his grades, but he will study very consciously. I don't think this is the reason. "

The old doctor asked: "Are you talking about friends with girls?"

Chen Xueyan thought for a while, and said with some embarrassment: "We don't intervene much in this regard. But I often receive fan letters. My son seems to be a late bloomer, and he doesn't respond to this aspect. He just smiles when he makes jokes. , so there should be no talk of friends."

The old doctor thought for a long time before he spoke again: "Is it possible that he was bullied or threatened at school?"

Chen Xueyan said: "It's probably not possible. In fact... this kid has earned a lot of money by writing scripts by himself. Our family has relatively loose control over his money. Doesn't he care about money or with him?" People who are troubled by the emotional disputes of classmates."

The doctor was stunned: "Write a book?"

Chen Xueyan nodded: "Doctor, have you watched "The New Hundred Schools of Controversy" or "The World's No. [-] Restaurant"? My son is the author and screenwriter of these two."

"Chonghua?" The old doctor was stunned for a moment, and then he said in astonishment, "Why did the young man have such a problem? Isn't he a very tolerant young man after reading the article?"

Chen Xueyan didn't know how to answer.

In fact, she is also very strange, Fei Yizhen doesn't seem like a person who suffers from anxiety at all.

The old doctor asked: "Did something happen in the past two days? Have you asked him what he is troubled by?"

Chen Xueyan frowned, covered her mouth halfway and said weakly: "I don't know either. He was obviously fine two days ago. He said he had a cold, and I thought he really had a cold. If this child has any troubles, don't tell me. Say, I will listen to anything."

The old doctor hesitated for a moment, and said: "Why don't you go and communicate with him first. Some things will be much better if you say them out, and you are most likely to get sick if you keep them in your heart. Be patient and communicate more with your children. Anxiety is a heart disease according to our old saying, and it needs heart medicine."

Chen Xueyan nodded.

Fei Yi was really on his IV, and gradually felt dizzy, falling into a half-dream and half-awake state.But part of his spirit is awake, observing the surrounding situation autonomously.When Fei's parents came in, the nurse who was dispensing medicine at the door greeted him, and Fei Yizhen woke up suddenly.

Fei Zhiming asked gently: "How is it? Are you still uncomfortable?"

Fei Yizhen shook his head, smiled weakly and replied: "It's okay."

Fei Zhiming said: "The doctor said that you didn't have a cold at all, but developed an anxiety disorder, accompanied by gastric ulcers caused by anxiety. What are you worrying about? What happened?"

Chen Xueyan jumped when he asked straight to the point, and shouted in disapproval: "Zhi Ming—"

Fei Zhiming shook her hand, motioned her to be calm, and then said to Fei Yizhen: "I don't know if there is anything you can't even tell me and your mother, but if you don't say it, probably There must be a reason why you really can’t tell us. But Fei Yizhen, a manly man, no matter what troubles you have, it’s not the reason for Xuelin’s sister to worry and ruin her body. ‘It’s better to sit and think than to get up and walk’, You should understand this truth very well. If there is something that bothers you, find a way to solve it instead of sitting here and ruining your body."

Fei Yizhen was shocked immediately.

After a while, he asked with a faint smile, "But, I don't know how to solve the problem."

Only then did Fei Zhiming ask: "Can't you tell your mother to me at all?"

Fei Yizhen was silent for a few seconds, and then replied: "No."

Fei Zhiming's expression became a little dignified immediately. He was thinking about his words and was about to speak again, but he heard Fei Yizhen ask: "Dad, what will you do if I break the law and kill someone?"

Fei Zhiming asked, "Do you want to listen to the truth?"

Fei Yizhen nodded.

Fei Zhiming said, "You probably won't be very happy to hear the truth."

Fei Yizhen showed a puzzled expression.

"From my standpoint, if you committed murder and committed a crime, I will probably do everything possible to help you get away with it, even if you use some improper means that you may not approve of. I don't care if you committed crimes in the whole thing." What kind of mistake did you make, I will only use all my connections to make you suffer less."

"But...that's wrong."

Fei Zhiming asked, "Is that really wrong?"

Fei Yizhen was immediately confused by his rhetorical question.

Fei Zhiming changed his tone and said: "Perhaps that is indeed wrong. If you look at it from the standpoint of a bystander. But if anyone stands in my position, they will take it for granted. Yizhen, although I don't want to erase your innocence from childhood to adulthood, but I still want to tell you that most people in this world are selfish like your father, and they may accuse others of disturbing you when they see the news. Law and discipline, bullying others, but when it falls on me, I guess it's the same way as your father. On the contrary, it's rare to see people like you."

He also said: "Fa-principle is nothing more than human feelings, and this human relationship is actually a part that has a lot of room for development. People have all kinds of emotions and will make various choices for their own feelings, so sometimes it is obviously Wrong things, but everyone still thinks it is justifiable—this is what most people think. Is it correct in law or correct in emotion...Many people are talking about the former and doing the latter.”

Fei Yi really felt that his world view was shattered by these words.

He asked again: "Dad, if... I really broke the law... But, I don't need you to help me get rid of the crime, I just feel uncomfortable..."

Fei Zhiming said: "I don't know what you did and why you think you have committed a crime, but I don't think my Yizhen is a person who will do bad things. Because as long as you have the slightest thought of doing bad things, you will I will blame myself to death. But if you really feel that you have done something wrong, I also think that it was not your intention, so just make up for it according to your ideas. Try to eliminate the damage and calm down your anxiety."

After Fei Yizhen listened to what Fei Zhiming said, his mood was finally properly relieved, and he felt a little more enlightened.