Through the counterattack of cannon fodder

Hello, everyone, welcome to the [-] questions about couples, I am the legendary host who has always been a red apricot out of the wall. land!

Of course, if you want, I can always attack you, you're welcome!

Oh, friends over there, you are very excited to see me~ It's okay, I will sign each of you later, don't worry!

What?Haven't heard of me?This friend, dare to return the page to the directory and take a look at the author's name? O(one︿one+)o

Huh, remember?

Great, let's move on!

By the way, do you know who we are going to interview today?Well, how do you all know?

Well, although everyone knows it and give me face, just pretend not to know!Now let me announce that today's interviewees are——Sizell and Mrs. Ling Wei!

be happy!Be happy!Let's applaud and cheer, boys!

But before we start the machine, we have one more thing to let everyone know——

In order to show the lofty style of our column team and to prove that the host really uses his life to interview, let me show you the preparatory work!

Camera crew ready!Why?What about the camera crew?

Forget it, they probably went to get lunch, I'll show the video myself!

In other words, this is a clear day, with white clouds floating in the blue sky, and a gentle breeze blowing by, you can see the flowers and plants on the roadside stretching and swaying their beautiful figures...

[Director: The nonsense scene description can be skipped directly. 】

Oh well, let's get straight to the point then.

Camera ready-

[Knock on the door] Boom, boom, boom...

Strange little bun: who are you?

A merchant: Oh oh oh!You are Lodis!Oops you look so cute! O(*≧▽≦)ツ

Strange little bun: My name is not Lodis.

A merchant: Such a cute boy really wants to sneak home!well?Are you not Lodis?Oh yes, the wrong eye color, Lodis has blue eyes.I see!You are Chris!

Strange little bun: No, you have found the wrong person.

A merchant: Huh?Could it be that you are Sia?

Strange little bun: Who are you looking for?

A businessman: Oh, I'm looking for your two fathers, that is, César and Ling Wei, are they at home?

Unfamiliar little bun: You went to the wrong door! [door slams shut]

A businessman: [holding his bleeding nose] Looking for the wrong door?

[Take out a note and have a look] No. 196 Carlos Street

[Look up at the house number] No. 169 Carlos Avenue

What the hell!Why wasn't this section cut out!How does the post team do things!Want to be deducted wages? ╰_╯#

Cough, so what, these are some inevitable small mistakes in the early preparations, the following is the main chapter!Believe me!

OK, let's continue the projection——

[The real gate of No. 196 Carlos Avenue]

César's house is the one with the yard, I forgot just now...

[Director: The previous process of filming you can be skipped. 】

……

If you don't let it go, don't let it go!In fact, César had just woke up the day I went, and I led our camera brother to capture a group of pictures in spite of difficulties and dangers. As for the content of the pictures...you know!I also saw beautiful abs and mermaid lines yo yo yo~~~cough, although the director won't show it, we can communicate in private!Come, add me a scarf, let's have a private chat...

【Director: →→】

Well, switch the camera again——

A businessman: Hello, Mr. Ling Wei, I am the host of the One Hundred Questions column group about sex between husband and wife, and my name is Shanglu.

Ling Wei: Hello. O(∩_∩)O~

A businessman: Cough, that’s right. Recently, we often receive letters from fans of you and César. They very much hope to know more about you two.After discussing with the production team, we want to invite you to do a program.Of course, you can rest assured that we are definitely a pure and upright program group. Our director’s favorite is platonic love, and there will never be any discordant problems. And you see, our editor-in-chief has been mixed for so many years. If you can’t even write a single letter, you will know how pure our program group is... um, that’s not what I want to say... What I want to ask is, Ling Wei, are you willing to come to our program to let fans know more about it? Some of you, do you want to interact with fans at the same time?

Ling Wei: Well... why do I feel that this program is so familiar?

A businessman: Of course, our program is very well-known, and our audiences are everywhere. Some time ago, we promoted our program to outer galaxies through the International Space Station... [Talking without end]

Ling Wei: You wear them too?

A merchant: Huh?

Ling Wei: I mean, did you also time travel?Otherwise, how do you know about the popular shows in my hometown?

A merchant: [shake hands, the skin is so slippery! ] This is called meeting an old friend in a foreign land!Alas, Ling Wei, how long have you been here?

3 minutes later--

[Director: Do you dare to tell me something serious! ! ! ! 】

A businessman: Oh, yes, I almost forgot about this, Brother Camera, you didn’t shoot that part just now, did you?

Brother Camera: ...

A merchant: You don’t need to say anything, I understand... This time I’m really going to work!People, please supervise me with your bright eyes!By the way, Ling Wei, can you join our show this time?

Ling Wei: Of course I’m fine——

A merchant: That’s good, then let’s make an appointment——

Ling Wei: But César has not agreed yet, if César agrees, I will go.

A merchant: ...

That's why I hate people who talk out of breath the most!

A merchant: [serious face] Ling Wei, the head of the family just needs to agree!Do you understand!

Ling Wei: Σ(⊙▽⊙"a...so you have to ask César...

A businessman: (ToT)/~~~ Nima, every host was an angel with broken wings in his previous life...

Ling Wei: How about I ask him for you?

A merchant: Thank you, Ling Wei, you are such a good person!

Ling Wei: ⊙﹏⊙ By the way, is it really okay for the host to casually hand out good person cards?

After we spent 10 minutes studying the pattern of the living room rug, the style of the sofa, the texture of the teacup, and the primary colors of the overhead lighting——

Ling Wei: César said yes.

A merchant: ~(≧▽≦)/~The task is completed!

What?Is the process not difficult enough?

Well, a small theater is included randomly——#我和罗迪斯have to say the secret#

In other words, this is what happened after I spent half a day as the host and finally became familiar with Lodis.

A merchant: Cough, Rhodes, can I ask you something?

Rhodes: What's the matter? O(∩_∩)O~

A businessman: Well, actually, I have a friend, our director, who really admires your uncle, Lord Olivia, can Lodis ask him for an autograph?

Lodis: Uncle's signature?Why do you want to come? (⊙o⊙)

A businessman: Well, it’s just as a carrier of thought, just take a look when you have nothing to do, is that okay?

Lodis: But I'm not going to Uncle's place these days!

A merchant: Oh, I forgot just now, my friend asked me to bring you a gift!Oh your favorite cake!

Rhodes: Well, it happens that Uncle is coming over tomorrow, so let me help you by the way~

Why does it feel like something is wrong... No matter, I got the autograph anyway! ~(≧▽≦)/~

[Director: If you handle personal affairs during working hours, this month's bonus will be deducted.In addition, slandering the director will deduct the next month's bonus. 】

I go! ! !Why is this paragraph above! !Brother cameraman, why are you so dedicated!I hid in the corner and said that you can also take pictures!No, director, listen to me, I have a senior and a subordinate...

[Director: Talk nonsense, all the bonuses for this year will be deducted! 】

Hey, I'm going to contribute to a certain magazine! (┳＿┳)...

#地主The director does not pay wages, what should the employees do if they have no money to buy meat? #

[Director: By the way, remember to send the signature to my office after get off work. 】

Fuck you give me a way out!Your signature will be confiscated!Believe it or not I quit! (╬￣dish￣)

[Director: Change the host, the show will start soon——]

Don't, don't, don't... I'll do it!How can I be such a hardworking, brave, dedicated, loving and dedicated person to do things halfway!

Let's get started!

1. May I have your name?

Ling Wei: Ling Wei.

César: César Huang Lachesis.

A businessman: By the way, who arranged such a stupid question?

Director: I arranged it, do you have any comments?

A merchant: Cough cough cough, no!This question is excellent!Actually speaking of this, I have always wanted to ask Cesar——

Cesare: Huh?what is the problem?

A businessman: When you took an exam when you were a child, wouldn’t such a long name really delay your answering time?When you see a friend named Wang Yi started to answer the questions, are you sad?sad?

Cesare: No worries, I write much faster than him...

A certain merchant: The person whose hand speed is not as good as the comparison team was silently shot with an arrow in the knee... Let's ask the next question! (ToT)/~~~

2. What are your ages?

Ling Wei: About fifty?

A businessman: O mouth O! How could it be possible?

Ling Wei: ⊙﹏⊙Because I wore clothes and lived two lifetimes, and the author didn’t specify how long I lived in my previous life.

A merchant: How could this author be so irresponsible, he didn’t even set this up, whoever wrote it, stand up!

Director: Self-respecting.

A merchant: Oh, Cesar, you haven't spoken yet!

Cesare: I'm two years older than him, he's 34, I'm 36.

A businessman: Let me do the math, is this considered late marriage and late childbirth?

Ling Wei: ...not counting, the average age of the Saiyan Continent is 200, we are considered early marriage and early childbearing, and the empire encourages early marriage and early childbearing...

A merchant: Σ(⊙▽⊙"a...do you still accept immigrants?

Director: Next question!

3. May I ask your gender?

Ling Wei: Can I not answer this question?

A businessman: Cough, although this question is relatively vulgar, but due to conventions, let’s just answer it casually!

Ling Wei: Alright, Asian orcs.

Cesar: Orcs.

A merchant: By the way, what gender would I be if I went there?

——Crowd: Demon——!

A certain businessman: ... Ma Dan's such a vulgar question is ... Well, why did I slip my tongue again ... Next question, next question!

4. What is your personality like?

Cesare: Pretty good? ^-^

A merchant: Do you dare to be more specific?

——Crowd: Super gentle attack!Cesare proposes!

A certain merchant, hello, Ling Wei is still here, please be more reserved!

César: Haha, in fact, my temper is not bad, I think all things can basically be resolved rationally, there is no need to get angry.

A merchant: So what are the irrational things?

César: Like when Ling was kidnapped, that was the first time I felt a little bit out of control.

A merchant: [Patting the shoulder] It's normal, people in love... what about Ling Wei?

Ling Wei: Not bad? Σ(⊙▽⊙"a...

A merchant: ...You two did it on purpose, right?

Ling Wei: Let's live with the situation, if this can be considered character.

A merchant: Ling Wei is also working hard!And the back is also very cheerful!

Ling Wei: Well, probably because of César, the whole person is more relaxed.But you seem to know me well?

A merchant: [chest raised] Of course!I am the original...

Ling Wei: What is the original work?

A merchant: No, there is no original work. I want to ask where the round table is. We used to have a round table in the shooting room for tea!

Ling Wei: ⊙﹏⊙b Do you think I will believe it?

A merchant: [serious face] Yes!

Others: This is a horrible IQ... (*/ω＼*)

5. What is the personality of the other party?

Ling Wei: Pretty good?

Cesare: I think it's fine too.

A businessman: Are you sure you two are really not playing tricks on me?Don't say I don't agree with this answer, neither will the crowd in the audience!Do you think so?

——Crowd: Yes!

Ling Wei: Actually, the question just now has been covered, César is a gentle person, well, sometimes she is cuter...

A merchant: For example?

Ling Wei: I can't tell you this!

A merchant: Oh, I see, cute pets or something! Φ(゜▽゜*)?

Ling Wei: Ahem, don't say it out loud, he will be embarrassed!

A merchant: I understand, I understand! (≧▽≦)/

Cesar: ...

6. When and where did you meet?

A merchant: Actually, I know this problem!It was a breezy morning, and colorful flags were fluttering along the roadside of Senya College...

Director: The host is not allowed to steal the guest's lines. Also, you talk too much nonsense, so just point it out.

A merchant: Alright then, Ling Wei quickly tell me how you two met!

Ling Wei: Ah, can I not answer this question?It's embarrassing... o(*////▽////*)q

A merchant: It's okay, you see, I don't feel ashamed when I get scolded by the director every day!You can say it boldly! 【← A sense of glory that comes from nowhere】

Ling Wei: Well, at that time, I came to Senya alone, saw Cesar meditating under a tree, and then I got to know him.

A merchant: I don’t want to be ashamed of going here!No, based on my years of interview experience, there must be something inside here... [Turning to look at César] Or let César tell the story!

Cesar: Ah, that's what Ling said.

A businessman: I always feel that something is wrong. How did you two know each other when he was meditating? A large blank space was obviously omitted in the middle!Maybe there was love at first sight or those unknown things happened, maybe it was——

Ling Wei: Next question!

Cesar: Well, next question!

A businessman: _(:з」∠)_I’m sorry, I failed the organization’s expectations and didn’t pick it up...

Director: Trash!