evil sea tide

In summer, even in the early morning, you can already feel the sultry precursor.The curtains were opened to let the still-hot sunlight shine in. A pot of green radish and Sansevieria were placed on the window sill, and the dewdrops on the leaves shone brightly under the sunlight.

Go into the kitchen, boil the rice paste that has been polished the night before, then use egg flour, add a little shallot and salt to make a paste, wait for a while when the rice paste is ready, spread a few egg pancakes, it is a nutritious and delicious meal Delicious breakfast too.

After doing this, while the rice cereal was still not ready, I went to the balcony and did a few sets of simple stretching exercises, which I learned from Dr. Jiang, and are suitable for pregnant women to move their muscles and bones.

The sun was a bit dazzling, Chao Sheng squinted his eyes, doing exercises very seriously and standardizedly.It's a must for him every morning.At this time, the smell of miscellaneous grains and rice paste came from the kitchen. Chao Sheng estimated that it was almost time, so he went back to the kitchen and started spreading egg pancakes.

Since coming here, his life has repeated this pattern day in and day out.His lower abdomen has begun to bulge, although it is not obvious, but the bulge can be clearly felt by touching it.Every time he strokes his belly, Chaosheng will show a faint smile on his face, which will let the child know that he is expected.

It has been a month since I left Hai Donglin's side.In fact, when he left that day, Chao Sheng didn't even have the confidence to survive alone. He was afraid that he couldn't help but look back, after all, this was the first time they separated.The first days were more difficult than imagined. With the help of my uncle, there were no problems in life, and he would often bring Yang Yang to see him.But as long as he is lying on the bed, he will miss Hai Donglin, miss his wide palms caressing him, the whispers in his ears and the gentle eyes.

This kind of longing almost drove him crazy, and even when he woke up in the middle of the night, he had the idea of ​​going back.But this kind of thought flashed by, as long as Chaosheng thought of the child in his stomach, he would suppress this feeling and force himself to get used to the current life.

After the initial tough days passed, everything got better.He arranges a lot of things for himself every day, such as diet, exercise, and reading, and everything is planned in strict accordance with Dr. Jiang's advice.Now he has enough time to take care of his body, without students to worry about, without Hai Donglin's tyrannical tyranny, without his mother's pressing every step of the way, he has lived a semi-reclusive life in this small world.

Facts have proved that his choice is correct. Within half a month, his improvement has improved a lot, and he is also very energetic. Jiang Baicao helped him check it once, and said that the embryo is now developing well, and if he continues to maintain it for about a month can reach normal levels.

This good news is undoubtedly a great encouragement to Chao Sheng, giving him the motivation to persevere.

Thinking about it now, what I thought of him was really crazy, quitting his job, staying away from his family and lover, he almost blocked everything about himself.Here, his life is very peaceful, and he has enough time to think about his future with Hai Donglin.

He hoped in his heart that his act of breaking the boat this time would make Hai Donglin reflect on his behavior to some extent.The reason why I didn't choose to confess to him and communicate with him was because he knew that he couldn't beat Hai Donglin, and every time the topic would be diverted by him to other things, and then he would make big things into small things into nothing. In fact, there was no problem at all. It was resolved, but he was already dizzy by the other party's rotten tongue.

Occasionally he would feel lonely, and at this time, he would miss Hai Donglin crazily.This was the most difficult time, but when he thought of his flesh and blood in his stomach, Chao Sheng felt that he was not alone.

When the doorbell rang, Chao Sheng opened the door, and saw a father and son standing at the door with several bags.

"Uncle, why are you here so early today?"

Yang Anqing raised the bag and shook it in front of him: "I sent this kid to the children's football club today. I passed by the morning market and bought some food for you."

Chao Sheng took a look at the bag, "There are so many, how can I eat it all by myself?"

"Let's help you if you can't finish eating. We will settle it with you today, but you don't need to do it. You can't be tired now. You can teach me when I come back. I have wanted to learn how to cook from you for a long time. No chance, now I have to study hard."

His full confidence didn't make Yang Yang have too much expectation, instead he said close to Chao Sheng, "Brother, you should make it for me, I like your salt and pepper shrimp."

Yang Anqing's face darkened when he was hit, and he pulled himself back, "You don't want to lose face? I'll punish you to eat what I made today."

Yang Yang made a bitter face and complained that he abused children, while Chao Sheng bent down and touched Yang Yang's head and said, "Don't worry, brother promises to let your father cook a table of delicious food today!"

"Really?"

"Well, pull the hook."

Yang Yang looked at Chao Sheng's little finger with a little distaste, opened his hand and said, "Brother, this is a trick played by kindergarten children. I'm already eight years old, and I'm in the second grade of elementary school, okay?"

Chao Sheng, who was despised and lagging behind, had no choice but to stretch out his hand and pinch you and his face.

Yang Anqing pulled his son up, "Then I'll send him there first, you wait for me at home."

During this time, the only people he had contact with were his little uncle and Yang Yang.He didn't have much time to explain to the people around him one by one that day. With Yanzi and his sister, he lied that he was sent to other places for further study during this period, and at the school, he proposed to resign, but when the resignation letter was submitted, He couldn't face the wrath of his mentor, so he could only lie that he had a serious physical problem and needed to go to another place to recuperate.

Knowing that he was not in good health these days, Professor Jing finally believed his words and accepted the letter of resignation.However, the personnel flow in the university requires very complicated procedures, so whether he is now a member of the University of Chinese Medicine, even he himself does not know.

The child in his stomach has been more than four months old, and the man of the Jing clan only needs eight months of pregnancy, so as long as he waits patiently for another four months, he will be able to see his and Hai Donglin's child.

I don't know how he will react if he finds out that he is a father?

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"Dad, Dad, what time are you coming to pick me up?" Yang Yang asked his dad while bouncing the ball on the edge of the football field.

"It's 11 o'clock, I can eat when I go back," Yang Anqing patted his son's head and told him, "Be careful playing football with the kids later, the injury on your face hasn't healed yet."

"Got it! Fan Xiaogang! Chen Zhuangzhuang! Hey, I'm here!!" Yang Yang waved at them excitedly when he saw his friends, and then rushed out like a rocket, forgetting his father.

Yang Anqing looked at his son who was running around all over the field, his energetic appearance was like a calf, full of air, he couldn't help but smiled gratifiedly.

I can't believe that he has raised his son so much and is still so healthy by himself. In a blink of an eye, it has been eight years.

It's just that his facial features are more and more like that person, so that he sometimes overlaps the faces of the father and son in a daze.

Yang Anqing, it's been eight years, haven't you completely let go?Such a person, what do you think about him?

He felt that he probably had been empty for too long, so he kept letting the figure of that person linger in his mind. Yangyang was already a little older, should he consider Xia Chaosheng's opinion and find another partner?

It's just that he doesn't know whether he can still love another person wholeheartedly after going through such a thing.

Walking out of the youth club, Yang Anqing walked towards the parking lot. At this moment, a man was walking towards this side holding the hand of a child.

Song Jue reluctantly dragged her aunt's grandson Zhou Rui to the stadium. On a rare weekend, she was woken up early in the morning by her parents and asked him to send Rui Rui here.

He is already 33 years old this year. The Song family's parents saw that he was not willing to get married for a long time, and he didn't even intend to fall in love. They were so anxious that they almost became ants on the hot pot. It's normal to fall in love, but there is no one who doesn't want children, let them use children more to stimulate Song Jue.

So there is today's scene, and this is not the first day it happened.Song Jue wanted to refuse, but Ruirui liked him and was very close to him, so he held back after thinking about it.

Just as he was walking towards the field with the child, a silhouette suddenly flashed in front of him, making him froze in place.

That's not... not...

The man flashed in front of his eyes for a moment before disappearing around the corner. He quickly chased after him, and sure enough, he saw a figure in a blue short-sleeved shirt from the back.

His heart was beating violently, beating his eardrums every time, making him more and more nervous.But the closer he got to the man, the more frightened he felt.

If it was him, what expression would he make when he saw himself?

strangeness?surprise?Or...disgust?

Finally, he put his hand on the man's shoulder, "Yang Ze!"

The man turned around and asked strangely: "What's the matter? Who are you?"

This is a strange face, where is the person in his heart.

"I'm sorry, I admitted the wrong person."

This sense of loss of being lifted up into the clouds but being thrown heavily to the ground made Song Jue clenched his fists in pain. He thought, thought he had finally been found, but unexpectedly, it was a joy in vain.

Yang Ze...Yang Ze...Where are you...

It's been eight years, and you still won't forgive me?

There is no medicine for regret in this world. Song Jue has been tortured by the taste of regret for eight years. He thought his feelings for him had faded away, but just a person who looked like him made him lose control.

"Uncle, where have you been? Why did you run away suddenly?"

There was an immature child's voice behind him, and he remembered Rui Rui who had been forgotten by him.

He walked back to the child, took his hand again and walked to the field.But at the same place just now, Yang Anqing, also wearing a blue shirt, came out of the toilet wiping his hands and complained: "Why is the toilet broken and no one repairs it? It's really unreliable."

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Hai Donglin drove the car and galloped on the road.

There are not many vehicles on the road in the middle of the night. Compared with the daytime, it can be called empty.It was already 1 o'clock in the morning, and he felt somewhat tired after a busy day, but even so, he would rather work overtime at the company until late at night than go home early.

Going home is no longer something to look forward to, because that person is gone.He was even afraid to go home, because the house was full of Chao Sheng's breath, but he couldn't see him, which would make him feel extremely anxious.But he had to go home again, because only at home could he feel a little bit of his aura, even though this aura had become weaker and weaker with the passage of time, almost disappearing.

When I opened the door, I could no longer smell the old fire soup mixed with the fragrance of medicinal herbs, and no one came to the door with a smile, said to him "You are back" or frowned and complained, "Why is it so late today? "

It was the same house that he no longer called "home" because it had lost another owner.It's cold everywhere here, just like how others describe him.

Hai Donglin changed his shoes and went upstairs instead of entering the house.On the second floor of the duplex, he set up a gym and a small wine cellar, and the rest, a utility room.

Chao Sheng would occasionally do fitness here, but he was not allowed to enter the wine cellar. Hai Donglin hid the key where he couldn't find it, which once made Chao Sheng extremely dissatisfied.

He said: "I'm not an alcoholic, give me two sips, just taste two sips, look at me, I won't drink too much."

He seems to have long coveted his collection.

And he said in an extremely ambiguous tone: "I'll let you drink it on the weekend."

At this time, Chao Sheng would turn red and call him a hooligan.Because the weekend is his liberation day, it means that Hai Donglin can do whatever he wants, and it would be great if there is good wine to cheer him up.

He had already reached the entrance of the corridor and had to pull himself back from his memories.

Taking out the key, he walked into the utility room. There were only a few clean things in it: a table, a stool, and the figure sculptures on the table.

He opened the stool and sat down, looking at the sculpture with the moonlight coming in from the window.

This is a bust of a character, and the facial features on it are just like my own when I was a child.

This was the only gift his mother had ever given him. Everyone praised it for its vividness, but he thought it was the worst gift he had ever received.

His mother was an artist, more precisely, a sculptor.She was born in Jiagu's family, a wealthy merchant, and she looked like a classic lady. At the marriageable age, she was arranged by her family to marry Haitai'an, a high-spirited young general in the military at that time.

With extremely high artistic talent, an enviable background, and a promising husband, this seems to be an extremely smooth life, even so perfect that it makes people jealous.But there was an accident, and that was Lin Xiuzhi herself.

Anyone who has come into contact with her will be shocked by her arrogant and indifferent temperament at first, thinking that it is the demeanor that a lady should have.But over time, they will find that this is not just indifference, but coldness, a weirdness that has no interest in anyone or anything.

She never looks at people directly, and doesn't care about what happens around her and herself. Most of the time, she is like a beautiful and cold sculpture, just like what she created.

And she showed this indifference to her family members, including her husband and son.

As far as he can remember, Hai Donglin has never had the memory of being hugged by his mother. In his impression, his mother will always shut himself in her studio, accompanied by plastic clay all over the floor and cold statues. , She lived with them, but her husband and son never appeared in her eyes.

The sculptures she created are so vivid, and the smart eyes seem to be able to speak.She gave these things all her passion, soul-giving them with her life, and deprived her family of the warmth they deserved.

Her performance made Hai Tai'an, who was originally very enthusiastic about this marriage, gradually cool off. Most of the time, he would rather stay in the army than in the home of a bunch of clay figurines.

Hai Donglin grew up in such a family. His mother regarded him as nothing, and his father was too strict with him. His childhood was spent in the empty Hai family mansion.Laughter, warmth, love, these things that ordinary children should enjoy, he has never experienced them all.

On his sixth birthday, he silently ate the cake his servant prepared for him, then rushed into his mother's studio and asked her loudly why she didn't want to accompany him when she was fiddling with these sculptures all day.

"Because I can't control your thoughts, words and deeds," Lin Xiuzhi said, "but you see," she pointed to those sculptures, "I can control everything about them, joy, anger, sorrow, joy, joy and sorrow, I am their master , without me, they would not exist in the world."

Six-year-old Hai Donglin didn't understand what his mother was saying, but he used his amazing memory to imprint every word in his mind.

When he was ten years old, he vaguely understood the meaning of that sentence, and began to think: Mother can control the sculpture, what about him?What can he control?What in this world belongs to him alone and can be dominated by him?

He no longer longed for the affection of his parents, but began to seriously look for something that belonged to him and could be controlled by him like his mother controlled the soil.

On the surface, he is gentle, courteous, modest and steady. Only he knows that there is that woman's bloodless blood in his body. His bones are as cold as hers, and like hers, he has never looked at life with the attitude of life. people around.

Later, the parents agreed to divorce, and Hai Donglin felt that this decision came too late. In this grave-like marriage, the father who is the strong side is more like a victim.

This feeling lasted until his mother passed away due to an accident, and Hai Tai'an took Wang Ying's mother and son back to the mansion.

On that day, Hai Donglin felt betrayed and abandoned. He used to think that his father at least cared about him, but he didn't expect that he had already given his love to those parents.

From this day on, his originally cold heart was covered with a thick layer of armor, and no one could touch it anymore.

He left the Hai family and came to the United States alone, bid farewell to his boyhood self, and began to pursue the thing that troubled him throughout his childhood—a thing that belonged to him and could be manipulated by him.

He tried many people, but found that he was not interested in controlling their fate, he didn't care about their likes and sorrows or their life and death, no one was worth his attention.

After more than ten years of searching, he began to want to give up, but at this time, he met him.

For the first time, his calm heart beat so fast for a person, every cell in his body was clamoring to get him, to make him completely his own.

His ambition began to swell, and he approached him with dark purposes, isolated him, and made him regard himself as the only salvation in his life.Just when he thought he was about to succeed, the other party gave him a heavy blow, which caught him off guard and was unforgettable.

After reading the letter, Hai Donglin maintained that posture for a long time, and a question kept circling in his mind: Why did he leave?

As long as he wants, he can give him everything and satisfy all his needs, and his only request is for Chao Sheng to stay by his side obediently.

——"Hai Donglin, I love you."

He remembered what Chaosheng had repeated countless times that night, and only then did he realize the deep despair in these words.

He left him just like that, and even warned him not to look for him, otherwise, the temporary departure would become a permanent farewell.

"Hai Donglin, we all need to calm down and think about it, what went wrong in this relationship, why we love each other so much, but we have to hurt each other."

This was Chao Sheng's last sentence, and Hai Donglin couldn't sleep all night because of this sentence, playing this sentence repeatedly in his mind until it turned him into a magic spell.

He wanted to tell Chao Sheng that this was not hurt, but the love he gave, why he not only refused to accept it, but also ran away from himself?Doesn't he belong to him?What went wrong to make him avoid himself like a snake?

The night wind blew in through the window and hit Hai Donglin on the face. The sculpture stood quietly opposite him, with empty eyes directed at him. He suddenly thought of his mother, she used such a pair of The white hands work with sculptures all day long, but treat the living people around them as air.

Hai Donglin stood up, walked to the table, picked up a sculpture that was [-]% similar to himself, and then let go suddenly, the sculpture fell to the ground with a crisp sound, and became countless fragments scattered all over the ground.

Looking at the fragments on the ground, something suddenly flashed in Hai Donglin's mind, but the feeling disappeared too quickly for him to catch it.

He picked up a fragment and looked at it in front of his eyes, gradually understanding what it was.

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Chao Sheng's belly was getting bigger day by day, even with clothes on, his round outline could be seen clearly.It's summer now, it's hot outside, everyone is wearing light and cool clothes, Chaosheng always likes to put on a coat to cover his growing belly when he goes out in a T-shirt.

When he was almost six months old, he couldn't go out anymore, because his stomach was so obvious that it could no longer be explained by the obesity in the lower abdomen. Unless he was wearing a down jacket in winter, others would think it was very different from his thin figure at a glance. Not commensurate.

So he minimized the time he went out, or went out at night to buy necessities. Yang Anqing was also aware of this problem, so he invited Mama Wu, who had taken care of him when he was born Yangyang, to pay her every month. For a small reward, let her come over every day at noon and night to cook for him and do some light housework.Wu Ma is also from the Jing clan, so Chao Sheng is not under pressure to keep a secret, and getting along with her is more natural.

It has been three months since he left him, and the older the child is, the more he misses him. Chao Sheng feels that he has almost reached his limit, and he is afraid that if he continues, he will be driven crazy by missing him.