Luo Shengmeng has no feelings today

After the Akutagawa Prize came to an end, Osamu Dazai's open letter sparked heated discussions for a long time. This pen-and-ink lawsuit was later called the Akutagawa Prize incident, and it became a talking point for many literature lovers.

However, matters in the literary world are always matters in the literary world, and do not affect everyone's work and daily life in reality. Although the detective agency is very concerned about who will win the Akutagawa Award, they will not refuse the commission that should be accepted.

After all, we have to live.

Compared with Osamu Dazai, who was hit hard, Oda Sakunosuke was much calmer, and he nodded and accepted the comfort of his colleagues with reassurance.

"I have nothing to lose, even if I don't win the award in the end, but just being shortlisted has brought me enough fame."

Sakunosuke Oda, who wanted to become a novelist early on, finally touched his pen and started writing after many years of thinking about it. This year, he officially embarked on the road of literature, and even achieved good results. It can be regarded as a bright future. step.

Therefore, compared to himself, Oda Sakunosuke was more worried about Dazai Osamu... the object of grudge.

Is Kawabata-sensei okay?

But Dazai is not a mafia anymore, and he can't come to him because of anger, so it shouldn't matter.

"Really, that guy Dazai... is too childish to blame the judges for not being selected!"

Kunikida, who just came in with a pile of documents, heard the conversation, pushed his glasses, and interjected: "It's not like there won't be a next time, this kind of thing, we should cheer up and learn the lesson, and then continue to work hard." Right?"

Serious Kunikida said, then coughed lowly.

"Forget it, stop chatting, everyone, there is a message from the president."

Everyone in the detective agency looked over.

Kunikida looked at the time displayed on his watch, "An important meeting will be held in the conference hall in one hour, and all members must be present."

"Also, Don!"

"Yes?"

"Go and call me back the bandage waste device that skipped work." Mr. Kunikida, who had been forced to do twice the work during the period when Osamu Dazai was absent from work, had a stinky face, "No matter how depressed he is Well, in short, 'everyone' must be present!" He could emphasize the word 'everyone'.

"Huh? Shall I go find it?"

Atsushi Nakajima's expression stiffened, "If I'm alone, how can I bring Mr. Dazai back!"

Osamu Dazai wanted to skip work, but he was a mere rookie and couldn't help it!

Kunikida sneered, "If you don't come back, I'll complain to Mr. Akutagawa now."

Too ruthless, as expected of Kunikida.

As expected of a former math teacher, the child was naughty and disobedient, so he went to communicate with the guardian... Wait, Mr. Akutagawa has become Dazai's guardian? !

Atsushi Nakajima walked out the door in a daze.

But where the hell is Dazai Osamu now?

Yokohama, Lupin's Bar in an isolated street.

It was clearly still daytime, and it was not even the bar's business hours, but Dazai Leng used his connections and his exquisite lockpicking skills to sneak in. He didn't rush, but after pouring a glass of wine for the other party, he picked up the newspaper and read it on the sofa chair beside him.

"Hey, is this what the country across the sea says [the leak in the house happens to rain all night]?"

The black-haired, kite-eyed man in a sand-colored windbreaker rested his chin on the bar table, poking the spherical ice cube in the glass with his bandaged hand.

"I haven't won the Akutagawa Award, and there are still troublesome things to solve."

"Completely—out of spirit!"

The dejected man grumbled and complained.

"Isn't there a next chance?"

The owner of the bar looked up at each other. Since the entire bar was closed, they were the only ones there. "The newspaper said that the Akutagawa Award is given twice a year. We failed this time, so try harder next time."

"But I... don't want to wait at all."

Damn it, his proposal ring is all custom made.

Higuchi Ichiyo stole his prize, and also snatched Akutagawa-sensei's compliment——

The willful and vindictive big man's inner villain is about to bite his handkerchief aggrieved.

The bar owner didn't know why, so he didn't talk to him again.

Until the door of the bar was pushed open again, and the doorbell rang crisply.

A young man in a black shirt, a gray tie, and a long gray windbreaker covered his mouth and coughed a few times, and walked in slowly.

His dark and dull eyes looked at the bar owner calmly, bowed slightly, and the young man went directly to Dazai's side, pulled out the chair and sat down.

The bar owner smiled, put down the newspaper in his hand, walked over, and poured a glass of tomato juice without the other party asking.

"I asked." The boss said.

Akutagawa Ryunosuke does not drink alcohol.

No way, just pour your physique in a glass.

A light sip will make you faint, so Akutagawa, who is used to staying sane, doesn't drink any alcohol.

He knows how to drink non-alcoholic drinks. In the past, Dazai forcibly dragged him to Lupin, and when he was chatting with Odasaku and Sakaguchi Ango, he would order non-alcoholic drinks, such as tomato juice, milk, water, fruit juice and so on.

After pouring the drink, the bar owner picked up the newspaper and went upstairs, leaving space for the two of them.

Osamu Dazai lay on the bar counter, his face turned to the other side.

Akutagawa Ryunosuke didn't make a sound, just took a sip of his glass of tomato juice quietly, and sat there with the others.

Osamu Dazai didn't wait for someone to speak for a long time, and finally couldn't help sitting upright, and asked in a low voice.

"Didn't Mr. Akutagawa come to comfort me?"

He didn't even ask Akutagawa why he knew he was here, Dazai already knew that with Akutagawa's wisdom, he would definitely find this bar.

This man is awkward and hopes that Akutagawa Ryunosuke can find him.

"No, unless you need it."

Akutagawa Ryunosuke answered calmly.

Dazai was discouraged.

Well, he didn't really want it—to be precise, he didn't want Akutagawa-sensei to take the initiative to bring up his failure.

Rather than appearing like a loser in front of Mr. Akutagawa... Dazai Osamu wants to show his success in the eyes of the other party. After all, even the wild dogs on the street know to show their best side when courting a mate in front of the person you like.

——That's why Akutagawa Ryunosuke didn't say anything, and there was no emotion in his dull black eyes. He was as calm as ever, which made Osamu Dazai relax unconsciously.

Ah, this is Akutagawa-sensei.

If you are around Akutagawa-sensei, you can always relax easily.

Even if it is the current scene that makes him a little embarrassed and doesn't know how to face it... the heart that wanted to escape still raised his hand and surrendered under the teacher's calm gaze.

He couldn't help but think—ah, it doesn't matter if he fails, and he can fully express his discomfort and loss.

You will never be ridiculed or criticized, there will be no regrets or disappointments in your eyes, only the calmness of a lake.

Because it wasn't Osamu Dazai's fault that he didn't get the award.

That is already a very good work, the best level that Dazai can write so far.

So Akutagawa doesn't need to make any comments about his missing the Akutagawa Award.

Dazai Osamu looked at Akutagawa seriously, like a child who stood on the track and vowed to win the first place, but unfortunately fell down and failed.

If you come up to comfort him directly, it will make him unhappy, but if there is no comfort, he will be dissatisfied and beg for it:

"I need it!" he yelled.

So Ryunosuke Akutagawa thought for a while, then reached out his hand naturally, and gave the 1.8-meter-one big kid in front of him a hug.

——When Yin and the others were sad when they were young, they always coaxed them like this.

Osamu Dazai was stunned for a moment, his kite-colored eyes widened slightly, looking a little dazed.

The moment he came back to his senses, Osamu Dazai immediately seized the opportunity, hugged him back tightly, squinted his eyes and buried his head into the opponent's neck and rubbed it.

The smell that comes over is a very weak scent of detergent - what brand is it?Dazai thought, he will also buy this kind next time.

Psychologists say that hugging can effectively eliminate depression.

Maybe right.

Dazai's mood is clearly rising now.

Hmph, so what if Ichiyo Higuchi won the Akutagawa Award?

She doesn't have the hug from Akutagawa-sensei [actively]! !

She didn't! !

After dawdling for a while before letting go, Osamu Dazai looked much better.

He doesn't want to mention the Akutagawa Award, but now he has something more he wants to ask.

"Have you seen Mr. Akutagawa? My work."

"Yeah." Akutagawa Ryunosuke nodded, "I've read everything... Your content, the world in your eyes, has indeed been conveyed to me."

"You are a wonderful person."

Because he was disappointed with the world and himself, he wanted to die once and for all, but because he was looking forward to something different in the future, which would give him the meaning to live, he mustered up the courage to live until now.

For Dazai, life is far more painful than death.

Has he found it now?Motivation to live?

His good friends Oda Sakunosuke and Sakaguchi Ango are still tenaciously connected after the Mimic incident. The new colleagues in the detective agency are all good people. The respected Mr. Akutagawa Ryunosuke finally let go of the old grudges and chose to accept and indulge. his presence.

Life for Osamu Dazai has improved a lot.

But has he found the motivation to live?

No, still not.

He was still holding the "Complete Suicide Manual" with relish, and fell into the embrace of the river every two days. The charm of death seemed to be more attractive to him.

What exactly does he want?

This is something that even Osamu Dazai himself doesn't know. If he knew, he would definitely not be like this.

Maybe never will.

However, humans are rather greedy creatures.

While he was obsessed with death, he hung his own life on the other hand, constantly pursuing a happier existence.

Please help me, please look at me, please hold up my world.

He appealed to the object he relied on in his heart.

"Then about the proposal—"

The man with a bright smile raised his voice and raised his hand.

"That's another matter, Dazai."

Akutagawa Ryunosuke spoke lightly, and then finished his glass of tomato juice.

Akutagawa would not agree, Osamu Dazai understood.

Because the other party is looking for someone.

Some very important person, worthy of Akutagawa's risking his life to find someone. Before that, the teacher didn't have the energy to think about this kind of thing, and it was also out of a sense of responsibility-because he didn't know if he would be able to come back, so he couldn't hurt others. A sense of responsibility, so you will never promise any life-long fetters.

Osamu Dazai didn't know much, and Akutagawa-sensei concealed it very well.

He can only deduce the truth by relying on a few details.

Osamu Dazai was not the one who could support Akutagawa Ryunosuke's world, so he naturally began to envy the unknown person, the one who could be relied upon by Mr. Akutagawa Ryunosuke.

That's something Dazai can't do, because he's just a supplicant.

Please help me, please look at me, please hold up my world.

He is appealing to Akutagawa, greedily trying to seize a happier future.

"Then wait for the next time."

Osamu Dazai said, putting his hands in his pockets.

Inside is the ring box he customized. If he hadn't failed to win the Akutagawa Award, he should have proposed to Mr. Akutagawa long ago.

Next time, the [-]nd Akutagawa Award... I will definitely get it.

Not thinking about the possibility of refusal, Osamu Dazai smiled, keeping the promise at that time firmly in his mind.

Write better words, write words that can touch Mr. Akutagawa.

[Please look at me, look at me and my words, and when I hold the Akutagawa Prize in front of you, please reconsider your answer. ]

Please rethink, Akutagawa-sensei.

Next time, please, please give me the answer I want.

……

The tomato juice bottomed out early, and Dazai Osamu's foreign wine was also drunk by him.

Staying in an unopened bar during the day, and thanks to the boss being an acquaintance, this keeps them staying.

"When will Mr. Akutagawa leave Yokohama?"

"This afternoon or tomorrow."

"Then, Akutagawa-sensei will leave this afternoon."

"why?"

Osamu Dazai blinked his eyes, and then limp on the bar counter like mud: "I suddenly remembered that I missed work for many days."

"It's over! When I go back, I will definitely be caught by Kunikida to work overtime, and if I don't listen, he will definitely sue Akutagawa-sensei! After all, he is a former math teacher, so strict."

"This is the only thing that won't work, please show me some image! Then I will use Akutagawa-sensei to go back to Tokyo in a hurry, Kunikida must be embarrassed to disturb you... Ah! If Akutagawa-sensei misses me, I can get through this period Time, try to skip work to visit you in Tokyo—"

While talking, Osamu Dazai took out his mobile phone to book tickets for Akutagawa Ryunosuke, then placed the order with a smile, and sent the extraction code to Akutagawa's mobile phone.

It's a five o'clock ticket.

Caught off guard and being arranged, Akutagawa Ryunosuke didn't know what to say for a while, he didn't like wasting money, so, as long as nothing happened, he would leave in the afternoon most likely.

Akutagawa tilted his head slightly, looking at Osamu Dazai's expression.

Sincere and natural.

He didn't see anything.

Except for the intuition faintly reminding myself that something is wrong.

Ah, no intuition needed.

After all, Osamu Dazai hoped that Ryunosuke Akutagawa would leave Yokohama as soon as possible-no matter where this matter was, it was obvious that something was wrong.