[Titanic] I can't help myself

The next day, Carl took me on the way back home.We didn't go fast, and Carl was afraid that if the journey back home was too bumpy, it would aggravate my injury.Carl was very careful. He came to France to pick me up this time. He brought two servants and even hired a doctor to take care of me on the way.

My mother, Rose, and Jack all came to pick me up at the station, and as soon as my mother saw me, she started crying.It seems that since I joined the army, there has never been a time when I went home to see her, she was not crying.Limbs were all injured, and I couldn't give her a hug to comfort her as I was paralyzed in the wheelchair. I could only shake her hand back hard and reassure her with as cheerful a tone as possible.

The manor has completely changed. The empty halls are full of nurses, doctors and patients walking around. Almost all the empty rooms in the castle have been used as wards and rehabilitation rooms, but my study is used as an office. There are a lot of things that are not convenient for outsiders to see, so they are all locked up, and only some of the books are moved to another small study room as an open public library.

According to the advice of the doctor who manages the military hospital in Acton, the patients received by the manor are divided into two categories, half of whom are military officers who are waiting for rehabilitation. After recovering and leaving, half of them were some civilian soldiers from Acton and the area near Acton. Their injuries were very serious, but they could not return to the military hospital in their hometown for treatment, so they could only send their families to travel long distances to the war zone hospital care.Letting them live in Acton can be regarded as reducing their burden a lot.From the beginning of the war to the present, we have made a lot of money because of the soaring war prices and smuggling. It is not a burden to spend part of it on the soldiers who were wounded for the country.

The second category of civilian soldiers had a lot of casualties, and the help Acton could provide was very limited, but this also caused a lot of repercussions.As my partner, the Viscountess Waynes effusively praised and promoted us in her newspaper, which won us a lot of praise, especially at the same time as the news that I was seriously injured at the front It was also passed on, and the Viscountess Waynes was not stingy with her compliments, and she almost made me a hero.

I was carried into my room, and my personal doctor came to check on my condition immediately, and finally concluded that my body just needs to rest and recover completely.When my mother heard the doctor's hand, she was greatly relieved, kissed my cheek heavily, and then sent the doctor out with Carl.They seem to have something else to say to the doctor.

Rose and Jack stayed in my room, watching a maid in a nurse's attire give me a drip—now most of the maids in the manor will also work as nurses, Rose hired a professional nurse to train them— Hang the bottle on the side shelf, and exit the room.

"You're really scaring everyone to death. Your message was sent the evening of the day you were injured. The first telegram said that your life was in critical condition." Rose sat on the edge of my bed and held my hand, "Mom passed out right away, Carl's expression was... I really don't know how to describe it."

"They made a mistake," I said. "Sorry for the shock."

"It was more than a shock. But fortunately, I received the second telegram two hours later." Rose said with lingering fear, "Karl started preparing to leave for France when he received the first telegram. The second telegram When the telegram arrived, he was all ready and on his way out."

I smiled and didn't speak.When he woke up from the coma, Carl was the first thing he saw. The more he thought about this feeling, the happier he would feel.

"By the way, where's Cousin James?" Rose asked. "The news we heard from Aunt Violet seems to be very bad. I think it's a spinal injury, isn't it, Jack?"

Jack nodded.

"He just woke up when I left." I sighed, "but his mental state is very bad, he often vomits, and..." he is incontinent.I swallowed the second half of the sentence, this kind of thing is very humiliating to a sane adult.

"Can he stand still?" Rose asked in a low voice.

I said sadly: "I'm afraid it will be very difficult. I can only expect a miracle from God."

There was silence in the room, and Rose looked very sad.After a long time, she asked again: "Then, when will James go home?"

"Wait until his condition has stabilized before moving."

We chatted for a few more words, and finally Jack saw that the atmosphere was too heavy, so he interjected and told me some interesting things that happened after the manor became a hospital, trying to ease the atmosphere.When Carl and Mother came in, we were as relaxed as when I first walked in.

It's noon now, and Rose told me that it's been a long time since everyone had a formal dinner like before. Today I returned home safely, so lunch was placed in my room, and everyone didn't bother to change their clothes. , After simply eating, I left the time and space to Carl and me.

Carl was lying beside me in his clothes, gently flicking my hair: "Go to sleep, you haven't had a good rest on the road these few days."

"I think I'm sober." I protested.

"Then I'll read to you." Carl turned over and got out of bed, and took out a collection of poems from the small bookcase in my room, "If you haven't fallen asleep by the time I read the tenth poem, let's chat, okay? "

I thought I must not be able to fall asleep, but I didn't expect that when Carl read the second song, I started to fall asleep.In the drowsiness, I vaguely felt his deep and affectionate voice in my ears.

I had already spent two years on the front line with my nerves strained, and the sudden return to the slow-paced country life was almost overwhelming.Although there are a lot of strange guests in the castle, the feeling of life here is not much different from that of two years ago. This makes me feel that there is a huge fault in my life. Nian is like a discus sandwiched between two layers of soft cakes, hard and heavy, out of place.

Sometimes nights that are too quiet can give me nightmares. I wake up screaming and screaming in the middle of the night at least four days a week from horror dreams full of death. It always takes Carl's patient comfort for a long time to calm down. back to sleep.It made me feel guilty that Karl couldn't rest because of my nervous breakdown.However, his company gave me great comfort. He cared for me almost like a glass man. This kind of infinite love and tolerance had an immediate effect on my healing. After a month, I rarely Had that nightmare.Knowing that he will always be there for me is more effective than any psychological suggestion.

During the period of recuperation, I lay in bed every day. In the morning and afternoon, Carl would push me to breathe fresh air in the garden. Sometimes I would meet officers who also came to the garden to breathe. Most of them They met me once, we chatted politely, they said a few words of thanks for our generosity, praised our noble character, and then there were meaningless greetings and greetings.

When I was recuperating in bed, Carl would usually stay by my bedside, talk to me, or read to me. When I started to feel sleepy, I would close the curtains and listen to the music coming out from the gaps in the curtains. That little bit of light goes about business.

Two weeks later, although my hands and feet were still in plaster, and my broken ribs were still aching, my mental state was much better, and the time in bed began to become extremely boring.Karl then took care of the estate and factory affairs with me.I've been so involved in these things for so long that it can even feel a bit overwhelming at first.

The changes that war has brought to our lives are enormous.Now, we have almost no available male labor force.In order to encourage agricultural production, the country organized a women's farming team. Acton responded to the call. Two-thirds of the tenant farmers hired were women. We paid them the same wages as male farmers and built collective apartments for them to live in. .This aroused some dissatisfaction among some male farm laborers.Because of their physical strength, female farm laborers do not do as much as male farm laborers, but the wages are the same, which makes them feel very unfair.But fortunately, the dissatisfaction and complaints are just talking. The relatives of these women who came out to work are fighting bloody battles on the front line.

Cannery workers are now also half women.This was almost unimaginable before the war.Considering the possible inconvenience caused by men and women working in the same space, I suggested that the factory hire some security personnel to ensure the safety of female workers. This proposal was approved by my mother and Jack.We also distributed a certain amount of maintenance money to those female workers with children, which can be regarded as charity.

James returned to his home a week after I came home.I talked to Aunt Violet on the phone, James was still very weak, he could barely feel his body below his waist, which made him extremely depressed and depressed, and even lost control to the point of collapse several times in France, but returned After arriving home, with the company of his family, especially the encouragement of his wife, his mental state began to recover slowly, and the feeling of nausea and vomiting has almost completely disappeared, which made him feel much better.

Aunt Violet, whose physical health was not very good, fell ill immediately after seeing James' injury. Cousin Emily didn't understand anything, and at most she could only help take care of some trivial matters at home. , so now everything, including official business, falls on Carol, who is pregnant.

Although the mother has always had a bad relationship with Aunt Violet, but now is an extraordinary period, and the mother decided to go to the manor to help them, which can provide some psychological comfort.Before leaving, she thanked God more than once for me to suffer some flesh injuries. Seeing James’ appearance, even though Aunt Violet still pretended to be tough and refused to accept mother’s help, mother couldn’t bear to argue with her any longer. what.

While I recuperated at home, the brutal war continued on the battlefields in France.The battle to push the German army back to the border lasted from July to November, and my wounds gradually healed and returned to health during this long vacation.But instead of going back to the battlefield, my mother had the doctor give me a fake medical certificate, which showed that my eyesight was damaged from the impact on the head, the sequelae of severe lung injuries caused me to have difficulty breathing, and the right nerve was damaged. , the flexibility is greatly reduced.In this way, I was awarded the rank of major general one month after my injury, and I left the battlefield smoothly. With my honorary title, I became an honorary officer of the county army.

When my mother told me that she had made a fake medical certificate for me, she had a grim expression as if she was facing an enemy.She coldly told me in a gesture that could not be objected to, don't think about going to die again, and then she didn't listen to what I said, and left my room directly.This made me panic, and I guess she was afraid that I wouldn't want to stay and argue with her.I'm afraid she can't think of me and doesn't want to go back.

I ended up being a coward, and it makes me so ashamed.However, the god of death that almost fell on me has drained my remaining courage, and the quiet, peaceful, peaceful and stable life at home has also eroded my shallow dedication inspired by those classmates who rushed to the front.Now, for me, being able to leave the hellish battlefield with a reason is what I most desire.After all, I am not a real gentleman. After all, most of the noble children are still standing on fearlessly. For example, the last heir of the Sebbins family was seriously injured at the front line. At that time, a bullet hit him in the stomach. But after recovering from his injuries, he did not accept the suggestion that he could be transferred to a safe theater, and returned to the most dangerous place.At the end of September, the official news of the sacrifice came, and now there is no one in the Sabins family, and even the funeral was organized with the help of relatives and friends of the Sabins family.

I attended his funeral in a wheelchair. On the gate of the manor, the family crest was surrounded by a black frame. In the church, the saber symbolizing the family was placed on the altar.Everything that this family has passed down for hundreds of years ends at this moment.I sincerely present a bouquet of lilies to this comrade-in-arms whom I have only met a few times.There have been too many such tragedies, and I can almost imagine the desolation after the war.

The author has something to say: warmly thank sisistella for Lei~~~ I am so happy to finally receive another one after a long time~~

I wanted to save the manuscript today, but the big aunt came, and it was very painful. . .