like drinking ice

When I went to pay New Year’s greetings, my dad gave Ruirui and Niu Niu a big red envelope, and Zheng Ao and I each a big red envelope. I refused to accept it, saying, “There’s no reason for two generations to receive red envelopes.”

My dad didn't speak, but still persistently stuffed the red envelope into my pocket.

Then he whispered in my ear: "Dad didn't take good care of you here, and now he is leaving. This red envelope is my own money. You can keep it. There will always be times when you need money in the future."

I had no choice but to accept it.

When I was accepting the red envelope, I glanced at Li Xiu, and he was standing beside him with a heavy face.

I know why he is unhappy.

Compared to me, he is the one who has never "lost" this family. No matter whether he goes to the northeast, the south, Germany or Australia, as long as he comes back, his family will always be here, Li Zhurong is here, My dad is also here, the housekeeper knows how to cook his favorite dishes, Li Zhurong can give him direction on key issues, and my dad is the reason why this family is called home.

Some people are naturally warm.It's not that the housekeeper is capable of every detail, nor is it the powerful backer like Li Zhurong, but it's really like a family member, close, warm, and makes you feel at ease.

But his "home" is going south.

He can still go to the south to see them, but he has to be in the north, in Beijing, in this city.The decision to kill, or go home to lick the wound, is all by myself.He once said that Zheng Ao was lucky, and now he is also "lucky", no one is covering his head, wind and rain or scorching sun, or overwhelming disasters, he has to bear it alone.

From now on, the Li family in Beijing will be Li Xiu's Li family.

How many more times could he return home to the South?He is Mr. Li now, his roots must be here, and he cannot leave here.One day, those people will grow old and die, leaving only the shadows in our memory.And we will also mature and grow old, Rui Rui and Niu Niu will lose us, just like we lose our own home.

We have lost many people.

I never asked Zheng Ao if he would miss Zheng Yehu.

We stayed at Li’s house for a meal, during which time many guests came, I never found a chance to talk to Li Xiu, when he left, he stood on the porch, smoking silently by himself, I always thought he was very tall , but never found his back so lonely.

He is such an awkward person, the more lonely he is, the less he wants to go to Lu Jiaming. He always hopes to make others feel that he is strong and invulnerable, especially Lu Jiaming.

In contrast, the person next to me, whenever something went wrong, he came to my house to rely on him. He was really kind to himself.

My dad left before the Lantern Festival.

I didn't even receive a call, but Ye Susu told me.She said: "Li Zhurong has handed over all the power to Li Xiu in the past few days. There will be a good show in the future. This and that of us will fight at least three times a day."

I asked him, "What about Li Zhurong?"

"Let's go." Ye Susu was very relaxed: "I left this morning."

"All gone?" Even if I knew the answer, I couldn't help asking.

"Yeah, they're all gone, even the housekeeper." Ye Susu reacted: "Oh, you mean your father? He must have left. How could Li Zhurong leave alone?"

I stand up and grab my coat from the hanger.

"Hey, why are you going?" Ye Susu chased after her and asked, "Zheng Ao asked me to play with you. What should I do if you leave? He is very difficult, brother..."

"I'm going to Li's house."

It's snowing heavily outside, and there always seems to be something warm hidden in the snow in spring, probably because people know in their hearts that the snow won't last long, and soon the spring will be warm and the flowers will bloom, and the new year will come again.

The Spring Festival couplets pasted outside the gate of the Li family’s courtyard are in Li Xiu’s handwriting. I didn’t look carefully when I came last time, but this time I realized that the writing is very good.

"Frost bullies snow, come late to buy wine to watch catkins, spring is warm and flowers are blooming, only the road ahead is the same as you."

I jumped out of the car and asked the driver to wait for me in the car.

The Li family has changed to a housekeeper, but he recognizes me and respectfully calls me "Mr. Xu."

"Where is Li Xiu? Where is he?"

"Mister just came back and is resting."

I went straight to the study room, Li Xiu was not in my study room, Li Zhurong's study room had a closed door, most of the books had been removed, and there were a lot of vacancies on the bookshelves, which would be filled by Li Xiu's books soon Filling these vacancies, it is as if Li Zhurong has never dominated this place.

They have already started calling Li Xiu "Mr."

I couldn't find Li Xiu, the study room, the bedroom, the small living room, and even the guest bedroom on the second floor. I searched for each room, and every room was telling the fact that my father and Li Zhurong had left. They went to the south. , I can go there maybe three times a month to see them, but they're not here anymore.

They are not in Beijing, not in a place within a 10-minute drive from me. They will grow old there. They wrote the ending on their own stories, and then bid us farewell unexpectedly.

I felt sad just like when I was about to start school when I was a child.I live in school, and I can only go home once every six months, so I can't see my dad for half a year.

But Li Xiu never lived in school.

I finally remembered a place.

That's my dad's study.

Li Xiu used to make trouble there when he was a child, the Li family actually lacks love in their bones, and they often make trouble to attract the attention of others, the bad things he did when he was a child are too many books to write...

The door of the study was closed.

I pushed and pushed away.

The study was almost emptied.

Those big physics books, my dad's favorite teacup for tea, the comfiest chair, and the blanket he used to hang on his coat rack for napping...

Li Xiu sat on the ground, looking at the snow outside.He should have finished a lot of work today, so he is still wearing formal clothes.

I walked over and he turned around.

"What are you doing here?" The expression on his face was calm: "They have already left, you are late."

"I know." I couldn't find the words to say, the bookshelves around were empty, and some places hadn't been tidied up yet, this place was really empty.

Li Xiu turned his head away and continued to look at Xue.

I pulled up a chair and sat down beside him.

He is the most proud person, not to mention showing weakness, if you mention his weakness, he will fight back coldly.Let alone now.

"When my dad left..." I tentatively asked, "Did you say anything?"

When I was looking for him, I ran too fast, my heart was still beating violently, but my face was cold, probably because of the snow outside. After all, I was in a hurry to get out of the car and didn't even open my umbrella.

Li Xiu is still looking at the snow outside. His profile is different from that of Li Zhurong, but the general outline is still similar. Li's family members have high browbones and nose bridges, so their eyes are very deep. I feel that the glass is almost covered by him. See through.

"He said he wanted me to take good care of myself and to visit them when I had time."

What a calm answer.

I wanted to pat him on the shoulder to comfort him, but felt that was a little too intimate.

"Actually, we can go to see them," I tried my best to make my tone a little more cheerful: "It's just a change of place, it's just a little farther away. Don't you have a plane? When it's spring, we will fly over to see them. Spring is beautiful..."

Li Xiu turned to look at me, his eyes were cold, I couldn't bear the weight in his eyes.

The snow was still falling outside, he suddenly raised his hand and pointed to the countless snowflakes falling in the cold wind outside the glass window.

"Look, time is moving forward," he said.

The anxiety along the way did not make me feel uncomfortable, and the sight of the Li family going to Loukong did not make me feel bad, but his words made me feel sore and tears were about to fall.

Yes, time is moving forward.

We are already adults, we will gradually become stronger, and then we will grow old. When I grow up, my dad will already be old.When I get old, my dad will die.

During the Chinese New Year, I saw his white hair on the sideburns.

What can I comfort him?I will always leave, either today or in the future, I still remember my dad’s stewed chicken, I remember him practicing calculations on the whiteboard in the study, I remember his straight back, I remember his gentle smile, just like I remember always The smiling Zheng Yehu, remember Lu Feixia who secretly put the spicy hot pot dishes into his own bowl, remember Xia Zhifei who always stopped him, remember that year when they played cards around the table during Chinese New Year, Lu Feixia yelled "" Come on, Feifei.” I remember Lin Wei’s upright face and refused to touch the cards, I remembered Teacher Lu lazily eating the nuts that Xia Chen peeled for him, I remembered the children were playing on the carpet, and Lu Jiaming had soft hair , Li Xiu's skin is as white as milk, Zheng Ao is wearing a red dress, I just fell asleep amidst the joyous noise, and suddenly I feel very warm...

But time moves forward.

We grow up, but they are all getting old and walking away, Zheng Yehu, Lu Feixia, Xia Zhifei...

We will eventually experience separation one after another, like fallen leaves leave branches, water droplets evaporate into rain clouds, and then countless rain falls, who remembers which sea it once stayed in?

If you can't stand such a separation now, what will you do in the future?

I opened my mouth, wanting to say something to comfort him, but couldn't.He is sitting here alone, there is no companion in his seat, he is Li Xiu, and his name now represents the entire Li family.Like a tiger in the jungle, it is so powerful that it cannot be matched, but after all, it can only shuttle through the forest alone.

He grew up, and there was only one person left.He has his home, and there is no former family at home.In the future, if no family member cooks for him, who will he play tricks on or scold his subordinates in the army?And who would teach him to get along well with others with a gentle face?

When I heard the knock on the door, I thought it was the housekeeper.

But when he opened the door, Lu Jiaming stood outside.

He probably ran over, his face was flushed, he must be cold, he was wearing a coat, the kind with a hood, his hair was still stained with snow, his hands were red from cold, and he held his breath in front of his mouth, He has the cleanest and clearest eyes I have ever seen, a bit like a cat, innocent and innocent when looking at people.

He always looked like he would be bullied to death by Li Xiu.

I spoke before him.

"He's in there."

With only these four words, Lu Jiaming felt relieved. I stepped aside, and he hurried in. I rarely saw him wearing stars and moons like this. When Li Xiu heard the voice, he turned around and looked at him, frowning unknowingly. After saying something, he took off his snow-covered shoes, walked over, and sat down beside Li Xiu.

My heart dropped.

I almost forgot that Li Xiu is not alone.Someone would sit beside him, pat him on the shoulder, and comfort him with some intangible but effective words, although Lu Jiaming might not understand, he was still young, and he had just graduated from university, and both his father and Xia Chen very young.

But love is always the most effective.

I glanced at the two people who were leaning against each other, and closed the door behind them.

As soon as I walked into the living room, I saw Zheng Ao.

He stood there, as if he knew I was in the study, saw me coming out, and smiled at me, his eyes bent down when he smiled, like a fox, inexplicably reassuring.

I walked over and hugged him.

He looked flattered.

"What's wrong?" He patted my back to comfort me: "I'm here."

"I feel a little uncomfortable in my heart." I told him softly, his shoulders were broad and thick, leaning on him like lying on a bed, my heart was settled.Hugs are such a good thing, more comforting than medicine.

"I know." He patted my head: "It's okay, when spring comes, we'll go see Teacher Xu and Uncle Li."

"It's not because of this," I wanted to say, but I couldn't express the feeling in my heart. It seemed that someone had pulled out a hole in my heart, and said emptyly: "We can't stop time, can we..."

Zheng Ao hugged me tightly.

"I'll take you to a place."

That is a restaurant.

They probably sell dumplings. It’s winter and it’s snowing outside, but the store’s business is doing well. There are many customers coming and going. The way to open the door is written in red letters on the sliding door. The store is steaming and looks very lively. look.

"Use this to see." Zheng Ao handed me the telescope.

It was the first time I used a telescope, and I couldn't find the place. Zheng Ao held my elbow and helped me point it at the store. We sat in his car and parked across the road.

I saw the inside of the store.

The shop is not big, with only about a dozen tables, no different from ordinary dumpling shops. If you must find something special, it is probably the owner of the shop. He is a middle-aged man with a straight body and firm eyes. He is making dumplings with his head down, wearing a mask, wearing an apron, and his body is straight. I always think he looks familiar.

Then I saw Zheng Yehu.

There is a reclining chair in the store, which is probably the most comfortable place. He lies on it and sleeps, covered with a military coat. Although he is sleeping, his outline is still correct, and his age seems to be very tolerant to him. Except for a smile line at the corner of the eye, that face seems to be exactly the same as Zheng Ao's. Good-looking people are the same. Good-looking people can see clearly, and a silhouette is just like a painting.

But the environment around him is not good, there is still some flour on the military coat, the surrounding customers are noisy, and there is a table in the corner where a few girls are sitting together, laughing mysteriously, as if They were looking at Zheng Yehu, and someone took out their mobile phone to take pictures of him...

Although he knew that he would not die so easily, he never expected that he would actually let go of everything and live a brand new life here.

I put down the binoculars and looked at Zheng Ao.

"What's the matter?" Zheng Ao smiled heartlessly: "I am much prettier than him."

Obviously they look similar, no one looks better than the other, but Zheng Ao dresses better, neat white shirt, dark windbreaker, and his face looks much more delicate.Speaking of it, my son is living such a good life, and my father is really unfilial to sleep in the dumpling shop.

"A girl is taking pictures of your dad with her mobile phone." I reminded him.

"Just shoot it..." He was very open-minded, smiling: "When I was in the cold drink shop, I didn't get missed shots. Last time that bastard Li Xiu called me Milk Tea Xishi, what is he... "

When he said that, I remembered it.

"How long has your dad been here?"

"I came here after the 'crash' of the plane." Zheng Ao lazily leaned on the back of the sofa: "Uncle Lin is quite good at making money, but my dad is a bit of a prodigal. Now they even bought this store... "

But that's not my concern.

"So," I looked at him, "You came to the south to find me, and the words you said about living a normal life seem to have inspired you a lot, right?"

The smile on Zheng Ao's face froze.

Then he laughed again.

"Well," he put his arms around my shoulders with a smile of 'listen to my explanation': "Actually, my personal extraordinary performance is also involved in it. Look, you are back, and my dad is still spending time with Uncle Lin... ..."

That being said, it has been more than three years.I can't help feeling a little sympathetic to Zheng Yehu. Zheng Ao is already considered pampered. He even dislikes carpets that are not made of wool. What's more, Zheng Yehu, who has grown up in the midst of thousands of loves, is hard to change from extravagance to frugality. He doesn't know How much has I suffered.It is also Lin Wei who is firm in heart, but does not let go.

"Do you often come here to see him?" I asked Zheng Ao.

"Not often." Zheng Ao said lazily, "He wants to leave his old life, and I can't show up to disturb him. I came to him after you escaped, but he refused to see me..."

Zheng Yehu wanted everything at first, but lost Lin Wei because of this.Now he wants nothing for Wei Lin.

"After grandma passed away, he went to the northeast to attend the funeral."

I froze for a moment, and reached out to pat him on the back.

That's how Zheng Ao comforted me just now.

In fact, there is no right or wrong in the matter of Guan Ying, Zheng Yehu walked cleverly, just avoided the matter of the Guan family, and all the pressure was on Zheng Ao alone.Li Xiu can still get sullen for a while now, but Zheng Ao was besieged on all sides at that time, and there was no time for mourning.It's just that Zheng Ao has never been serious, with a playful smile, making people forget the hardships he has suffered.

After a bit of comfort, Zheng Ao seemed to be better.

"I'm fine..." He seemed very open-minded: "He has his choice."

I'm still hanging on his back.

He leaned over.

"Xiao Lang wants to comfort me so much, why don't you promise me with your body."

My face burned with a "bass", this bastard, it's okay if he doesn't mention it, as soon as I mention it, I want to beat him up.It's a pity that there isn't much room in the caravan. After I beat him twice, he pretended to be pitiful, crying and howling. The driver also looked like he was going back to gossip with the housekeeper, so I stopped.

"Xiao Lang..."

"What are you doing again!"

"I will always be with you."

"Who cares?"

"real."

"Humph."

In fact, during New Year’s greetings, my dad told me something. He said that people only have one life. Parents accompany you for half of your life, and children accompany you for half of your life. In such a big world and such a big city, houses are just small boxes of reinforced concrete. , A wall separates the two worlds.Sometimes you will feel lonely standing in a sea of ​​people, let alone when you are alone occasionally.

But there is a person who can accompany you for a lifetime.

Life is alive, fleeting, and after a hundred years, it will turn into ashes and smoke.We are all just ephemeral mayflies, some people can leave their names, and more people are just like the grass in the wilderness. The long life you think is just a season for this world.A wildfire burns out, and new shoots grow out of the ashes.The world is still turning, and your consciousness and body are gone.

But for that weed that grows by your side.Your life is also his life.

Joy, anger, sorrow, joy, ups and downs, you all taste it together.Be young together, grow old together, listen to the sound of the wind blowing across the field together, the branches and leaves touch, the roots are entangled, spring, summer, autumn and winter, until the last day of life.In the end, both return to the ashes, and who is who?

"Zheng Ao, if we die in the future, let's be buried together."

"Okay."

"It's best to plant another tree on the grave, the one that can bloom is the best."

"Row."

"What kind of flowers should I grow? Plum blossoms are too cold, how about peach blossoms?"

"Peach blossoms are good. I like peach blossoms. When the peaches are ripe, I can give them to Ruirui and the others..."

"Don't get nervous."

"That's right, Ruirui likes to eat oranges, Xiaolang has good skin, the oranges should be delicious..."

"Zheng Ao! Don't be so perverted!"

"Hahaha……"