like drinking ice

I have been waiting for the whole Spring Festival.

I didn't know what I was waiting for, but it didn't come either.

No news, no commotion, the old house of Zheng’s family is very deep, the housekeeper cooks three meals for me, and when Zheng Ao is around, I put them in his study to eat with him, he is not so busy during the Spring Festival, and often eats with me , we sat on the carpet, Zheng’s family had a beautiful red sandalwood table, very short, it could hold five dishes and one soup. I used to eat rice more than pasta, and he followed me to eat every day.Once I ate a fish bone, I frowned for a long time, went to pour a glass of water and swallowed it, I watched from the side, and endured it all the way without moving.

When he put down his glass and continued to eat, I asked him, "Is this what you want?"

He said, "All I want is you."

Later, I saw the butler sweeping snow under the corridor, and asked him what was wrong, he said that he had asked him to sweep it when the husband left, and he had to finish it all.

It seems that he is not completely unaware.

In the end, the Guan family could not survive the Spring Festival.

On the thirteenth day of the first lunar month, the Guan family was on the news, and it was Guan Huai, the head of the Guan family, and Guan Ying's younger brother.The last time it was criticism, this time I was directly expelled from the military, calling names and taking positions. Even people like me who have never cared about politics can see that the situation is serious. It seems that it is still snowing heavily in the Northeast. Figure, there is no one off the family.But I vaguely think of the scene of ransacking and ransacking the house in Dream of Red Mansions.

Those young girls who talked and laughed carefree in the living room of Zheng's family all had thick hair and white skin, and one of them was the youngest, only seven or eight years old, with faint blue eyes, like a doll, always looking at me curiously.I don't know if there is a place for them to live in this overwhelming snow.

Zheng Ao was very busy those few days.

I asked the housekeeper once, but the housekeeper didn’t dare to tell me. I remembered that when I was at home, everyone thought that the Guan family would be liquidated until the festival. Li Xiu said that Zheng Ao was too busy after the festival. When asked why, Li Xiu said, "I'm too busy trying to find people!"

The tree fell and the monkeys scattered, and one by one was caught.Those big families that would really get them uprooted were seldom because of mistakes made by their subordinates, but mostly because they were on the wrong side in factional struggles.

In those few days, the Zheng family often had guests. I was in the backyard, looking at each other with Zheng Yan. Zheng Ao was also afraid that I would escape in the chaos, so he left the most powerful Zheng Yan to me. Zheng Yan was very dissatisfied with this arrangement. Look at me. The eyes are very bad.I didn't take it seriously, and concentrated on talking to him.

As an intern with Lawyer Su, I am used to seeing all kinds of clients. I like people like Zheng Yan who are full of joy, anger, sorrow, and joy on their faces. They are easy to understand and easy to use.It seems that the Zheng family didn't treat him badly, and it was a kind of happiness to be able to live such an open life.

I asked him: "Do you want to protect Zheng Ao?"

"nonsense."

"You tell me what Zheng Ao is busy with, and I'll tell you how to make Zheng Ao bring you by my side." I wanted to ask him directly how the situation outside was, but Zheng Yan wasn't that stupid.

"Really?" Zheng Yan looked at me for the first time in the past three days.

"You'll know if it's true after you say it, otherwise we can only spend our time here. Now that the situation is so chaotic, if you stay here for one more day, Zheng Ao will be in danger for one more day."

Zheng Yan thought for a while, and then told me: "General Guan may not be able to keep it."

"Which General Guan?"

"Guan Huai." Zheng Yan knew a lot: "It may be a death sentence, but at best it can only be indefinite, or the kind that is not allowed to be commuted."

With Guan Ying being so old, Guan Huai probably won't be much younger, and if he is pampered, he probably won't live for a few years in prison.

"How is Zheng Ao going to deal with it? Is there anyone to help him? What's going on with the Ye family and the Li family?" I asked.

Although I put the Li family behind, Zheng Yan still looked at me with a vigilant expression.

I was sitting on the ground reading a book, flipping through it beside me, and found the biggest one, and weighed it in my hand.

"Zheng Yan," I called his name: "Do you think this criminal code can smash my head and bleed?"

Zheng Yan glanced at me proudly.

"It's useless for you to threaten me, sir won't believe that I beat you!"

It was also a good start from the housekeeper, and everyone followed him to call Mr. Zheng Aoming. Every time I called him, I thought of Lu Xun.

"Of course Zheng Ao will not believe that you beat me, but guess what, if he thinks that I will lie to get rid of you, will he continue to let you watch over me, or will he trick me into changing a caretaker?"

Zheng Yan looked at me suspiciously.

I held up the code: "Housekeeper, Zheng Yan..."

"Don't call!" Zheng Yan hurriedly stopped me: "What do you want to know? I can't tell you about the situation of the Li family!"

"I don't ask about the situation of Li's family, just tell me who is helping Zheng Ao." I told him, "I just want to know about Zheng Ao's situation."

The butler had already rushed over and opened the door: "What's wrong with Mr. Xu?"

He is also loyal to Zheng Ao, as if he was not the one who watched me leave with sympathy, now he keeps a distance from me no matter who he is.Probably because Zheng Ao and Ye Susu were engaged, he felt that my status in the Zheng family was embarrassing, so he was worried day and night, maybe one day he would go to Zheng Ao to risk his life and ask him to be a good minister and a villain , dismiss the harem.

I smiled at him: "It's okay, I just want to see if your wig will fall off if you run too fast."

The butler left deeply shocked, wondering if he would buy a wig that was not easy to see.

I looked at Zheng Yan.

Zheng Yan is still struggling.

I held up the Penal Code again.

"Tube……"

As soon as Guan Zi was uttered, before raising his pitch, Zheng Yan spoke.

"The Ye family has help, and so has the Li family, but the help is small." He finished speaking quickly.

It seems that my dad doesn't know yet, otherwise Li Zhurong wouldn't have helped.I don't want my dad to know about this. Although it will definitely put more pressure on Zheng Ao, it will not be good for my dad's health.And relying on my dad alone, I can't escape.Zheng Ao was entrusted to Li Zhurong by Zheng Yehu. Because of love and righteousness, Li Zhurong would not really deal with Zheng Ao ruthlessly, so it is not his fault.It is not Li Zhurong's style to bully the small with the big and add insult to injury.

When the news came out, Zheng Yan had another expression of "I've told you everything I know", and I continued to stare at him.

Zheng Ao came back late at night, the housekeeper opened the meal for me first, and when he came back, he served porridge again.

Zheng Ao drank, but not drunk.

He didn't ask me to comfort me, and I didn't say anything. It was snowing heavily outside. We sat and drank porridge.

It's a pity that he didn't tell me anything, he just went to bed early, and he ran to take a shower by himself, his hair was wet, he didn't understand these things, so he fell asleep.I wrapped several layers of dry towels for him while he was asleep, and took them all away before he woke up.

I don't want him to know that I will still take care of him.

He went too far and deserved to be punished.

He didn't get up the next day. He didn't know whether he was too tired or caught a cold. He rolled himself up on the bed with a quilt. The housekeeper prepared hot soup for me to feed him. I shook him and put the soup warm without moving. .

He was bored by himself for a while, got out and drank the soup, not knowing if it was all right, he put on his clothes again and left.

He is a person who has never been wronged. He can feel it if my attitude is a little more obvious, but I ignore him, and he can't get angry. It's just that he feels uncomfortable in his heart, coupled with external things, so he was silent for a while , not even a smile on his face.

I asked him, "Do you really think we are better now than before?"

This time he didn't say anything like only me, but instead asked me: "Xu Lang, what is it like to love someone?"

I didn't answer him.

He asked me again: "Do you still love me now?"

He asked me: "Does love feel that this person has changed and is not what he used to be, but he is still willing to stay by his side, feeling that it is different from staying anywhere."

He literally mirrors me in every sentence.

I said, "But I won't love you anytime soon."

I couldn't go back to work.

I stayed in the backyard of Zheng's house, reading books occasionally. Ye Susu came here once, because she was a fiancée, so she entered the house. I wondered if she was ordered by Li Xiu to search. Behind her, he couldn't stop him.I didn't hide too deeply, like a guest, she just kicked open the door and came in.

The first time she saw me, she was surprised: "Xu Lang, why did you become like this?"

I didn't realize what it looked like, but Zheng Ao sometimes said that I was thinner when he hugged me to sleep at night. I also looked in the mirror when I was in the shower. Such emotion.

The housekeeper also knew that he couldn't stop him. He couldn't ask Zheng Yan to lock us in two rooms. After all, Ye Susu was engaged to Zheng Ao, so he slipped away against the wall, probably secretly going out to make a phone call. I asked Zheng Ao for help.

I serve foliage with the green tea I've been drinking recently.

"Did Li Xiu ask you to come?" I asked her first.

Ye Susu imitated me and sat cross-legged on the ground, and sneered: "Why should I listen to him?"

There was too much emotion in her words, I didn't answer, but brought the preserved fruit over to her to eat.

But she didn't intend to change the subject, she ate two pieces of preserved fruit and pushed me again: "Hey! Do you think I still like Li Xiu?"

I was pushed so suddenly by her, the tea was directly choked into the intake pipe, and I coughed like a lotus leaf hit by a summer rainstorm, almost coughing up my lungs, Ye Susu patted me twice, and said impatiently : "You are not tuberculosis, why are you coughing for so long? When I walked in, I felt that something was wrong with you."

I was so tired from coughing that I leaned my head on the couch and didn't have the strength to speak for a while.

Ye Susu didn't continue talking, and ate without heart. Beijing is so cold, she was wearing a fluffy white coat, half-knee socks, a pair of leather shoes, and a look of "these are two artificial legs".

I rested for a while, and then asked her: "Are you really engaged to Zheng Ao?"

Her face flushed.

Children of this age, in fact, no matter how heartless they seem, their hearts are sensitive.

"What's none of your business?" She glared at me: "You don't think that Zheng Ao will be with you if he doesn't get engaged to me! Let me tell you, you must not have this idea, Zheng Ao is a scumbag! You Don't be obsessed anymore..."

"Then why are you engaged to a scumbag?" I cut her off.

The relationship between husband and wife in this class is mixed with too many things, so it is difficult to have true feelings. There are only a few people. It is so possible and so coincidental that you fall in love with him and he falls in love with you. Help is over.With such a life experience, they have to face too many temptations.For men, there are a hundred kinds of beauty in this world. Unless you have someone who truly loves you, who can remain indifferent when the most beautiful face and figure in this world are presented in front of you?One time might work, but a hundred times a thousand times?What's more, there is no need for any responsibility at all, even the people around you have told you since childhood that this is the enjoyment you deserve.

Men play first, and women also start to play. Marriage is mostly a dead letter, and more of it serves as a bond of power. After playing, no one will threaten this bond.But it doesn't matter if I don't have a backache when I stand and talk, I have watched it coldly for so many years, and I always feel that this relationship is a kind of sickness.

No matter how fun and exciting the game is, the rich clothes and the nightly singing and dancing are all just playing after all.There are many things in this world that are better than playing, such as love, such as a sacred marriage, a favorite career, and the freedom to control your own life.

Why would a girl like Ye Susu jump into this fire pit by herself?She has a bad temper and speaks directly, but she is real and vivid, with her own emotions, likes and dislikes, and the ability to live a good love life...

I looked at her, she didn't speak.

Maybe she felt that I was silently condemning her, so she raised her head and said unconvinced: "My sister can get engaged, why can't I?"

This sentence has changed to others, and may not understand it.

But I understand.

At the beginning, it was said that the Ye family’s parents had a good relationship, and the [-]th wedding anniversary was very grand, and the invitations were widely distributed. My dad dragged Li Zhurong with a displeased face, and he was full of emotion when he came back. He wanted to instill the correct Love view, lest we grow crooked, Li Zhurong just sneered beside him.

Later, when I grew up, I heard some rumors, saying that the Ye family had no son, the elders and relatives had been putting pressure, and that Ye Lanzi and Ye Susu's father raised a house outside and gave birth to a young son.

If it is true, it is not a matter of acting.

I have seen that invitation card, Mrs. Ye is a very beautiful woman, looking at her husband's eyes full of admiration and love, her husband held her hand back and looked at her gently.

But what if another woman's child will inherit the Ye family?If the Ye family finally announces to the world in such a situation, the so-called love between husband and wife is just the biggest joke?

I thought it was too early when Ye Lanzi got engaged, but now I add Ye Susu.

I vaguely figured out something, but felt sad.

"What do you want to prove?" I asked her softly, "Don't you know that this is a lifetime thing?"

Ye Susu kept her head down, but when she heard my words, she suddenly raised her head.

Her face is very smooth, with the immaturity and sharpness unique to puberty, her eyes are shining, almost overflowing, she asked me sharply and angrily: "Isn't it just a lifetime? My sister can, why can't I! They said it was useless to raise a daughter, that my mother was wrong, that she gave birth to us, and that property would belong to outsiders after a hundred years! Why can’t I prove that I am useful!”

I looked at her speechlessly.

"But what about your life? You are still so young, you can fall in love and start your own family with the person you love..."

"If I live my own happy life alone, wouldn't it prove that my daughter is useless!" Her voice was so clear, but her sentences were full of sharp edges and corners, as if she turned those emotions into knives, cutting people's flesh My heart hurts: "I just want to prove myself! My sister will marry the Zhou family, and I will marry the Zheng family! Whoever dares to touch my mother, I will fight them desperately! The son raised by that woman wants to enter the house, unless I die!"

She is so resolute and strong, her eyes are shining brightly, but they are still on fire. This kind of fire seems to be able to burn everything, so that two smears of red appeared on her face, and the fine teeth of the rice grains were clenched tightly. No tears fell.

I can't look at her any longer.

"Why do you want to go this way, you can do other things, you can start your own business like a boy..."

She stood up "噗".

"Xu Lang, do you know what I hate about you the most?" She said passionately, "It's just how innocent you are. Do you think this world is really beautiful? If everyone really has a better way to go , How did the world become what it is today! Every time you look at me like this, you make me believe it. But I won’t believe it anymore! If you want to prevent those people from hurting the person you want to protect, you must Become more ruthless than them! Do you know, Xu Lang! In fact, this world is just like the man you love named Zheng Ao, a pile of shit."

After saying these words, she turned around and opened the door, and left without looking back.It was windy and snowy outside, but she had no hesitation.

I know why she is not afraid of the cold.

Because her heart was frozen.

When Zheng Ao came back at night, his eyes were blue.

I knew why and asked, "Who hit it?"

He glanced at me and looked down.

"Li Xiu."

I thought, I should let Ye Susu bring the words out.

She really came to see me for Li Xiu.

This is probably the last time she will work for Li Xiu.

This is her farewell to herself.