like drinking ice

I got sick at the end of October.

Severe cold, fever to personnel do not know.It was Li Xiu who came to look for me at night, found out that I was not there, and couldn't get through to my phone, so he kicked the door in and found out.

Fortunately, he has such a domineering personality. If he turned around and left, no one would know if I was burned to death.

During the period, I was in a coma for a while. I used to be curious about what it would be like after death. Now that I think about it, it was almost like a coma. Those two days seemed to have disappeared out of thin air. When I woke up, I was already at Li’s house.

Li Xiu said that I kept calling me grandma when I was in a coma.

He said that my dad was always by my side, and he cried when I called my grandma, probably feeling sorry for me, because I was thinking of my dead grandma, not his living dad.

When I was recovering from illness, my father and Li Zhurong had a big fight.

Li Xiu said that he had never seen my dad so fierce, basically he was unilaterally accusing Li Zhurong, telling all the old things, saying that he would either move out of Li's house, or he would die.

Probably there is still a third option, which is me to live in.

After I recovered from the illness, Li Zhurong called me to his study alone, meaning that he wanted me to follow Li Xiu to learn how to do things. I was shocked, because his tone was completely aimed at another heir.

My dad and I refused, and my dad probably thought it was outrageous, so he scolded Li Zhurong again.

With Li Zhurong's emotional intelligence, it's probably hard to know what my dad is really complaining about.

But it doesn't matter anymore.

When I was convalescing, Li Xiu kept dangling by my side, reporting to me the progress of my dad's quarrel, and throwing some weird things for me to play with in a very unfriendly manner, probably because of him Things I didn't see before.While the housekeeper was not paying attention, he secretly led the alpaca upstairs to show me, probably to make me happy.The alpaca probably struggled to resist being led upstairs because it seemed hungry and gnawed a hole out of the carpet.And I don't know if it's the season that the wool is shedding, the wool is flying all over the room, and the housekeeper is so angry that he is about to have a heart attack.

I understand why my dad keeps saying that Li Xiu is actually a nice person.He is indeed very good to the people he accepts.It's just that he inherited his father's emotional intelligence and temper, and he is also fierce when he is nice to people.

When I was sick, I was fed a bunch of weird things.

My dad has taken a lot of traditional Chinese medicine over the years, and he probably learned something from it. He also recommends some strange things to me from time to time.I was sick and couldn't go to work, so I lay in bed and read a book, and found that taking physics as a hobby is not bad, it seems very interesting.

I asked my dad, have you ever wondered what it would be like after death?

My dad said there was probably nothing.

I told him that the last time I watched a TV series, there was a special function in it, which could revive a person who had just died for 2 minutes, but after 2 minutes, he would die again.A resurrected person woke up, and when asked what he was like after death, he said nothing.Then he breaks down and repeats: Omg, nothing.

My dad said, you are so young, it is too early to think about life and death, there is still a great world waiting for you outside.

I laughed and said yes, great world.

Actually I know not.

When my grandma was alive, she told me about my dad when he was young. His life seemed to end in his early twenties. Then he changed cities, changed careers, became a law teacher, and lived a mediocre life. ten years.

It may be funny and hypocritical to say it.

But there are some things in this world that will make you feel ashamed.

When the heart dies, there is nothing left.No matter how good the world is, if I can't see it, what else can I look forward to?

My grandma said that when she first saw me in the orphanage, she thought I was exactly like my dad when he was a child.

We are indeed very similar, the same stubbornness, the same being deceived.

For a person like me, it's probably hard to fall in love with someone, even if I give up, it's also hard to fall in love with someone new.It's not cheap, I can't let it go, I can let it go, it's just that I won't like others anymore.Just like a glass falling down, its body is broken into thousands of pieces. Does it have to be glued together to prove that it can be held and put down.It will no longer hold water for anyone, including the one who threw it.

So I actually admire Zheng Ao.

He can like so many people, and he can go to bed without feelings, as long as he feels good.If people in this world were as open-minded as him, there would probably be no more idiots.

In that case, his heart should be regarded as a disposable paper cup, the kind with a big bag.

Distribute one by hand and throw it away when it is used up. Anyway, there are still enough.The correct way to use it should be like that of Shakira, if you like it, just leave when you feel comfortable.Only a fool would pick one up and hold it as a treasure.

After recovering from my illness, I quickly went back to work.

The office is the same, except the girls don't come over to gossip with me anymore, and I don't let me help with the ham for lunch.Maybe I do look too cold right now.Many of the flowers on my seat died, and the ones that survived were given away.Senior Sister Xue received a bottle of hydroponic aloe vera. She had a sad expression for some reason, as if she had something to say to me, but she didn't say it in the end.

I also received a call from Ni Yunlan, who was Hao Shi's friend.I was not sick at the time, and I was in a bad mood. She hesitated and told me that something bad had happened. I said that this matter is out of my control. You can go directly to Zheng Ao and ask if you want to call.

She was probably frightened by my attitude, and hung up without asking for a number.

Luo Xi still came to look for me all the time.

But I'm moving.

It was raining that day, it was late autumn, and it was cold. He was still waiting for me downstairs. Luo Xi used to make me feel like he had a story, but if he didn’t tell it, I didn’t ask. Not all stories in this world You have to say it, and as time goes by, you will always forget it.

But I can't hear his story anymore.

He called me, but I didn't speak, and took him upstairs.

Walking up one level at a time, the lights came on little by little, and he looked at me with sad eyes, reminding me of Senior Sister Xue.

They always looked at me like this, as if I had some terminal illness. Lawyer Su asked me once if something happened to me, and I said it was nothing, I just figured it out.

I told Luo Xi, "I'm leaving."

My dad asked me to move back, he was very worried about me.And winter is coming, living in a big house with my family will always be warmer.

Luo Xi said, "Are you going home?"

I nodded.

"That's good," he said.

He still brought the ingredients and wanted to make a meal for me.I said come on, I will make it for you this time.

Heat the bottom of the pot, put cold oil, marinate the beef with cooking wine and pepper, put it in the pot and sauté until fragrant, the green smoke rises up, and after it changes color, put it out, put ginger and garlic, chopped pickled peppers, garlic sprouts, green peppers and red Chaotian peppers Pot, stir-fry spicy, put the beef and stir-fry, sprinkle with garlic leaves and take out the pan.The braised fish is cooked, topped with dark red sauce, and the pork ribs with winter melon are poured from the pressure cooker into a small porcelain cup, and the kitchen is full of fireworks.The white rice is soft and glutinous, and there is a burst of heat when the pot is opened.

I do it so skillfully.

The light in the living room seemed to be broken, it was a bit dim, I was looking for a stool to change it, Luo Xi said no, I could see clearly, let's eat first.

He was wearing a soft gray sheepskin coat with a dense layer of water droplets on his shoulders. He took off his clothes and a light-colored sweater inside. He sat across from me and had dinner with me.

Probably the beef was too spicy, he took a bite and said, "I didn't know your cooking was so delicious."

I said, "I don't know either."

Probably because the dishes I cooked in the past were not according to my own taste.

We ate this dinner in silence. I seldom talk recently, and he can't think of a cold joke.

Then he suddenly said, "I learned how to cook from my dad."

I glanced at him.

He lowered his head, his eyelashes drooped, his face was very handsome, but there always seemed to be something deeply hidden in his eyes.

He said: "When my dad was young, he liked someone who was good at cooking. But he only cooks for others, and my dad has never eaten it. My dad thought, it's okay, he cooks for others Eat, I cooked for him, so I learned a few dishes. Like a person, sometimes like this, he is nice to others, but you can be nice to him, even if he doesn’t like you, as long as you always Treat him well, take care of him quietly, and he will not live too badly. Even if others hurt him, you can still be by his side. "

I asked him, "Then did your dad cook for that man?"

Luo Xi smiled, his smile was always so sad.

"No. The man later married someone else."

"Then that person is doing well?"

"Yes."

While washing the dishes, the rain stopped outside, the wind blew in through the kitchen window, and the rosemary was dead.

I looked at the mess in the kitchen. Luo Xi rolled up his sleeves and neatly stacked the washed bowls on the dish rack one by one. He was as gentle as treating fragile glass. He seemed to have grown a little taller, but he was still a little thin, and Very silent.

I suddenly called him.

I said, "Luo Xi, I can never cook again."

Luo Xi paused while washing the dishes.

He said, "It's okay."

When I left, I walked him to the door.

I told him that I'm going to move out completely next week, and don't come here to find me in the future.

He said yes.

It was raining lightly outside, and he took the umbrella I gave him and walked silently in the rain, walking further and further.

When he was more than ten meters away, he suddenly turned around and yelled at me: "Xu Lang, can I go to Li's house to find you in the future?"

"what?"

"Xu Lang! From now on! Can I go to Li's house to find you again!" He asked me loudly with unprecedented strength.

I was silent for a long time, he has been standing in the rain, waiting for my answer, his figure is thin, the wind blows the hem of his coat fluttering, but he still stands there stubbornly.

When people are young, they are always so thin and fragile, but they always have a lonely courage that does not know where it comes from. Even if they know that there is an iron wall in front of them, they still insist on going forward. Never turn back.

Even though it was so far away, I seemed to see myself when I was young.

I finally know why there is always something sad about Luo Xi.Because of that, it's called loneliness.It was like living alone in this sprawling city with no one to talk to, no one to confide in.Like a person standing in the sky full of wind and rain, but can't find the lamp waiting for you to go home.

I opened my mouth, but felt that my throat was rusted. I worked very hard to make a sound to respond to him who was waiting for my answer.

I said: "Yes."