like drinking ice

After that, everything became very simple.

I moved back to my own house, cleared out all the things that Zheng Ao moved in, and sent them to his home address. I tore up all the recipes he liked in the kitchen. I changed my mobile phone number and notified my colleagues. With my dad and Li Xiu, I changed the locks at home and gave away all the flowers I planted.

I started to work overtime until twelve o'clock every day, just like I used to. Lawyer Su said that if this continues, I will soon be able to get a lawyer's license.

I changed all the furniture, I burned the quilt that Zheng Ao slept on, yes, I feel dirty.

I've never felt so dirty.

People are too dirty.

In the first few weeks, he would call, he would call on my company landline, and when I would pick it up, he would say, "Xiao Lang, please speak to me."

I said: "Get out!"

He is Zheng Ao, I can't bear such a big grievance, I know.

It's just that I've been used to him.

Now I don't want to get used to it.

Later, his name appeared in the news, as if he was young and successful. Among his peers in Beijing, he was probably the first to encounter real power. Li Xiu was also thrown out and sharpened. behind him.

He has always been lucky.

He never explained to me what happened that day. The Li family said that an apology is useless. His principle is that explanations are useless.

A month later, Ning Yue came to me and apologized.

I find it funny.

He was probably forced to come here, and he deliberately dressed neatly and came to me cleanly, with a little arrogance in his eyes, and his words were like endorsements: "I'm sorry, I shouldn't let people deal with you, I misunderstood."

I was reading documents at home at the time, and the pen was still in my hand when I opened the door.

I literally laughed out loud.

He was flustered by my laughter and glared at me: "What are you laughing at?"

"I'm laughing at you..." I asked him, "Don't you feel dirty when you're with someone like Zheng Ao?"

Ning Yue's expression suddenly turned fierce.

People in love are like this. They would rather be scolded by themselves than listen to others scold the one they love.

"I'm different," he said.

This argument is so familiar that it makes me want to laugh.

He also tried his best to argue: "He just likes to play now, and when he has enough, he will find that he still likes me. I am not afraid, I will always wait for him."

The Ning family is also a big family. Although he is not an heir, he was also raised in favor and love, so he has such self-confidence, such righteousness, and he can withstand disappointment. He will not examine himself because of this, and will not So I feel like I'm a complete joke.

I said, "May your wish come true."

After Ning Yue left, nothing happened for a long time.

I went home for the Mid-Autumn Festival. Although I was a little silent, it was better than eating moon cakes at home alone.My dad had a slight cold and went to bed early, Li Xiu probably wanted to relieve me, when I got up and went to the study to read, I was shocked to find him standing at my door.

He probably also felt embarrassed, and said fiercely: "Why aren't you asleep?" Then he turned and walked away.

I stopped him.

"Li Xiu."

"What!" He was still a little fierce.

I laughed, looked into his dark blue eyes, and told him seriously, "I'm fine."

"Understood." He said impatiently, and walked away.

I think, if he doesn't comfort him, he will probably fight Zheng Ao again.What happened last time, he always felt very sorry for me, because I only found out because he and Zheng Ao fought there.

He thought it would be better to keep it from me.

I really want to tell him that it's okay, it's just a secret love, although it's been a long time, but I can always let it go.There is nothing who owes anyone, who is sorry to whom, I like Zheng Ao, Zheng Ao played tricks on me, this kind of drama has to be staged countless times in every corner of the world, Zheng Ao did not feel sorry for me.

He is so smart, so good, naturally he deserves the best.He himself said that the world is so big, there are always people who have never played it.He was born with a golden spoon in his mouth, his IQ is above the standard line, and his appearance and body are all good. How could he put down his figure and hang himself on a person like me.To him, the world is just a game of chess, and he controls all the advance and retreat.

The only thing he did wrong was to put me on the board.

It's also because I am self-indulgent, thinking that I am his friend, even if I don't like him, there is still a little affection from when I was young.I thought there was always something different between us.

It turned out not to be.

The little boy who accompanied me to the roof to watch the moonlight, the little boy who accompanied me through the darkest night and the warmest dawn, is dead.Died in those old days, died in the memories that I held tightly and refused to let go, died in the superior background and outstanding appearance of the heir of the Zheng family, the person named Zheng Ao now is neither I nor People you know.

I didn't think kindness was such a big deal before, and I didn't think there was any downside to being smart.

I thought Li Xiu had a bad temper.

Now I know that he is the worst one. Li Xiu is too smart, so he can’t be kind or sympathetic. One of his most common mistakes is that he doesn’t treat others as human beings. What about ants?

But Zheng Ao is more dangerous than Li Xiu.Li Xiu is at least as bad as candid.

He didn't regard me as a friend, but he pretended to be sincere.He knew in his heart how much I liked him, but he pretended not to realize it, pretended to be my friend frankly, lived in my house, and slept on my bed.In those ambiguous passing by, those late nights basking in the moonlight on the balcony, those dawns that haunt me after being woken up by me, those sitting at a dinner table discussing a soup, he may be laughing in his heart I am a fool who has never been seen before or since, laughing at me being played by him in the palm of my hand but not realizing it, laughing at me thinking about him beyond my control, and pouring out my heart and soul for him, in fact, I am just a pitiful and pathetic Big idiot!

Every time I think about it, I feel sick.

Just like the bucket of cold and sticky pig's blood that afternoon, when it was poured down on my head, I was so enlightened, I was so enlightened, and I felt physically nauseous whenever I thought of the word Zheng Ao.

I used to think that even if the Li family doesn't welcome me, even if Li Xiu doesn't like me, even if my dad can't take care of me, it doesn't matter, I still have myself, I can live a decent and strong life, and live a clean life.

Now I realize that I'm just an idiot!

He said that when I was admitted to R University very well, when he told his friends that I was a scholar, he even took me to his parties, and when he saw that I was out of tune with Wang Lang, He Lianshan and the others, he hugged me When his bedmates introduced me, was he really frank and didn't know anything, or was he looking at the expression on my face like a clown and laughing at me in his heart!

I can't think about these things, I can't think about the past 15 years, I can't think about it for a moment, I work like crazy, Senior Sister Xue and the others are frightened by me, even Lawyer Su reminds me to pay attention to my body.

But I can't help it, I can't stop.Because as long as there's a space in my head, I can't stop thinking about the things I've been through with him in the past.There is no way not to remember what a joke my past self was.Every night, I can only sleep if I see that I can’t open my eyes when I look at the documents, because as long as I close my eyes, I will think of his smile in the greenhouse of Li’s family that day, so calm and breezy, as if I was in the middle of the night. He is just a flimsy ant.He said: "It's not that he likes me, so I must like him."

It was as if I was a nympho following him, a fanatical fan, and a voyeur who interfered with his life. He had been lying with me for so many years in order not to embarrass me and take care of my feelings.

What friendship, what friendship, what young best friend, what moonlight, it's all shit!

The nightmare I am most afraid of is not life and death, not the end of the world, but he calls me as affectionately as usual in the dream: "Xiao Lang."

I never want to hear that title again in my life.

I would rather die.

The biggest joke is that he probably still feels that everything is under control. After three months of hanging out with me, late autumn stood in front of my house in a windbreaker, looking very tired. He knew that the customs reform policy was introduced, and I would see the news , you will know that he has been very busy and under a lot of pressure recently.

He sat at the door of my house as if nothing had happened, and when he saw the voice control light turned on, he raised his head and called me pitifully: "Xiao Lang, you are back."

It was twelve o'clock in the middle of the night, and I was carrying my unfinished lunch and my briefcase. Because I was too tired, I was stunned for a while.

He didn't look for me again for a long time afterwards.

Because I didn't speak at that time, I just squatted down against the wall. I suddenly felt a pain in my stomach.

Because when he came to help me, I dodged.Although my whole body was shaking from vomiting, I still avoided it.

I said, "Don't touch me, you're dirty."

During this time, Luo Xi came to look for me.

Probably I did lose too much weight. After he met me, the first thing he did was to buy a bunch of things to cook for me. I said no, there are many restaurants outside, and I will go there by myself when I am hungry.

Luo Xi said that outside and home are always different.

I find it funny.

Because this sentence is very familiar, I used to feel the same way.

I thought that people exchange hearts for hearts, if you treat him as a family member, he will naturally treat you as a family member.As long as you are warm, upright and kind, nothing bad will happen.I thought that his actions to save me after I was disappointed, his obvious but decisive actions, those smiles on his lips, and his complaints about my busy work were really because he cared about me.

But he gave me the answer himself.

He said that when people are young, they just want to play, and it doesn't matter what they say, as long as they feel good.He is so good, of course he wants the best, he wants the beautiful bedmates that emerge in endlessly outside, he also wants a boy like Ning Yue who has an outstanding appearance and loves him deeply, and finally he will add a steadfast one who will always be waiting for him at home Yes, stupid and easy to deceive, even if I want to give up occasionally, as long as he hooks his fingers, I will run back.

Isn't this the ultimate dream of a man?

A beautiful bed partner, an innocent young admirer, plus a stupid wife who can do housework and take care of others.

By the way, he doesn't have to force himself to sleep with a mess like me.

How good.

Simply a winner.

Luo Xi cooked porridge for me, but I didn't drink it.

I said no.

Compared with the so-called illusory stomach problems, I am more afraid of people's hearts.

I don't want to play with smart people much anymore, and I don't want to play with people much.

People are too dirty.

I can finally, as I wish, be a lonely and proud glacier like Lawyer Su.Don't need anyone, live strong.I am also very good at making money, my face is not as soft as before, and when I meet entangled clients, I can calmly dismiss them just like Lawyer Su.

I'm slowly becoming less of what I used to be.

The former gentle Xu Lang, who kept secrets in his heart, who liked to grow flowers but had no time, and who was occasionally embarrassed, has slowly died.

He walked with me for a while when I was a child.

Now I bury him with myself.

How fair.

how wonderful.