I just want to retire quietly

Chapter 62 Confession

I really don't blame Tan Yan for having such thoughts. It's because Liang Xian's behavior during this time is like a child who wants candy. Under the quilt, they said they were sleeping on the same bed, but in fact they didn't even have much physical contact.

The kiss just now was the same, it was not so much a kiss as a light touch, and the purpose was not to take advantage, but to let Tan Yan understand that Liang Xian's feelings were not a joke, but a real liking.At that time, if he didn't make some impactful moves, Tan Yan didn't know where he would go.

Even so, it was just skin-to-skin contact, not even an exchange of breath, so how could it be called a kiss.

"Are you that..." Tan Yan thought about it carefully, and finally remembered that in the police rank training class, the psychology teacher once talked about a phenomenon, "the drawbridge effect."

It's hard for Tan Yan to recall this word, it has been learned more than ten years ago.

"I'm sure, no." After hitting the wall, Liang Xian turned back firmly and continued to confess, "I'm not the kind of kid who can't tell the difference between gratitude and love. I know my feelings very well. Knowing your truth After my age, I searched your story on the Internet and found a lot of your award-winning photos. When I saw your 58-year-old face, I would be moved. At that time, I knew that it doesn’t matter if I am old or not, I just simply like it It's just you."

Tan Yan was silent for a while and then sighed: "You are still too young."

Seeing that Liang Xian was anxious to explain again, he made a downward gesture to stop Liang Xian from continuing.

"You may think that I haven't been married for so many years, and I don't know anything about relationships. Indeed, I haven't really been with anyone day and night, and I don't know the feeling of being dependent on each other for many years after marriage. It can be said that it is the feelings of young people, I've seen a lot."

Tan Yan recalled: "Junior and high school students wanted to fall in love, but their families skipped school and eloped if they didn't agree. I have caught quite a few of them over the years. They love each other to death. Yes, we are really together. It’s more like tasting the forbidden fruit at a young age. The parents of both parties fought to the police station when they were pregnant, and each other refused to have the child. Also, when they got married, they were sweet and sweet, and after marriage, their feelings were consumed by firewood, rice, oil and salt. , the former love was exhausted, and a pair of lovers became resentful spouses.

On the contrary, some people who have never met each other, because the conditions are suitable for a blind date and marriage, live a peaceful and beautiful life in the second half of their lives.

Love is never the whole of life. The hormones of young people are relatively strong. They think that there is no better relationship in the world than this. In fact, it is just a young impulse. The relationship that has not learned to take responsibility is always just nonsense. "

Tan Yan dismissed all of Liang Xian's feelings lightly, but it was so realistic that it was hard to refute.

Liang Xian was puzzled and said, "How can you be sure that I haven't thought it through? How can you know that I haven't learned to take responsibility? I'm an adult, and I'm different from those people you've met."

"Of course I know that everyone is different, but have you considered my age? Even if I take a step back, I am 39 years older than you, but I am young now. Maybe in two years my hair will be gray. My face is wrinkled, my teeth are gone, my lower limbs are paralyzed, and I can’t take care of myself in bed. How do you solve this problem? Do you take care of me like a lover? I asked you just now if you want to take care of me until the end of my life. I was not joking, but Seriously, if you find a lover who is so many years older, besides this ending, will there be anything else?"

Tan Yan's series of questions made Liang Xian dazed. He thought for a while before saying, "How do you know that I don't want to? Maybe at that time, I will be willing to take care of you until the end of my life?"

"I never doubted this," Tan Yan said, "You are a good boy, even if you are a lonely old man, as long as it is a task assigned to you by the organization, you will take care of him until the end."

"That……"

"But I don't want to." Tan Yan simply interrupted Liang Xian, "I can hire strangers to take care of me in the future, and I can accept adopted children, but I can't accept that my lover's age is just right, but he will be punished by me If I really like you and love you, then I don't want the person I like to see me with white hair and chicken skin."

It was the first time for Liang Xian to see Tan Yan talking with reason and evidence. Tan Yan had always been silent. He cherished words like gold, and every word he uttered was extremely important to the ability team and the research team.But today, he was able to say so many words to dispel his thoughts, should he be lucky?Received special treatment from Tan Yan.

"Perhaps my appearance deceived you, giving you the illusion that we are of the same generation." Tan Yan continued, "But after all, I am 58 years old. We have different growth experiences and different values. In the future, even chatting will be difficult. It's hard to get along. It doesn't matter if you... like boys or girls, but even if you're in love, you should find someone you can talk to, right?"

Liang Xian's feelings went from tense to depressed, and finally turned into a helpless sigh.

He picked up the bouquet of roses and said, "99 roses represent eternity, forever. In fact, there is no such thing as eternity, and all relationships are nothing but ashes to ashes in the end. I actually... never thought that you would promise me, I just wanted to tell you how I feel."

The young boy looked at Tan Yan, and his eyes were not filled with longing, but with undeliverable narration.

"You can reject me according to your will, or even ignore me from now on, as if you are a stranger." Liang Xian crushed a rose, leaving a smear of red in his palm, "I will be very sad, but I respect your thoughts. If you want me to pursue you, I will work hard to become stronger and perform well, and one day I will be your help and be able to fight side by side with you. If you don’t allow me, then I will hide my feelings and stop worrying you .

Anything is fine, but please, don't deny my feelings. "

The young face is full of stubbornness, "Don't use the drawbridge effect or being too young and irresponsible to deny me. You can reject me, but please face me. Don't persuade me to find a young man or woman. You just need to be responsible for rejecting me." Well, the rest is up to me."

He quietly sat back on his seat, picked up the rose branch chopsticks that Tan Yan had used, and ate the half plate of food that Tan Yan had left for him one bite at a time.

After some debate, the dish was a little cold.Liang Xian directly poured a cup of hot water, and ate it with the hot water.

Speaking of which, he has never been here a few times. Why come here to eat French food that he is not used to? Go to a high-end restaurant to find abuse.It's better to go to the school to eat Northeast cuisine, at least you can eat steamed buns, and the boss can reheat the dishes when they are cold.

Tan Yan didn't walk away either, sitting opposite Liang Xian watched him devouring his meal, and just about to speak, he heard Liang Xian say: "Don't say anything, you are still young, when you grow up, you will just laugh it off when you think of it. "

Tan Yan was about to say something similar, but when Liang Xian said this, he could only keep silent.

"Come here today, I know that you have a 99.9999% chance of rejecting me, but as long as you don't say anything, I still have a glimmer of hope, and I have to try if there is a glimmer of hope. At least after today, can you stop treating me as a Children, watch." Liang Xian said while eating.

Tan Yan didn't know how to answer him, the thoughts of the two were basically two parallel lines, and they could never reach the same point.

"Older people always think about what will happen in the future, while young people only think about the present. This is the essential difference between you and me." Liang Xian deserves to be extremely intelligent, and he can still make a coherent conclusion after falling out of love and falling apart, " What I want is to be with you, to learn and make progress together, to solve difficulties together, and to go to the end together. Although the process may be difficult, at least we have worked hard for it. But you don’t even have the idea of ​​working hard, you I directly think that the difficulty is impossible to solve. Before getting married, which couple even considered who will take care of whom after being paralyzed in the future? Do you want to never get married because one of them will die sooner or later?

Who stipulated that you would definitely go before me, our mission is more difficult every time, you are better than me, maybe next time, next time I will..."

Before Liang Xian could continue, his mouth was covered by Tan Yan.

"I won't let you die before me." Tan Yan said seriously, "This is my mission."

All Liang Xian's surging emotions were blocked by this sentence.

He just likes Tan Yan who wholeheartedly serves the country and the people, but as long as he is such Tan Yan, he will never have personal love in his heart, and he will never be able to accept him.

No matter what he said, it was useless.Tan Yan doesn't have this string at all, so he won't agree.

This matter would not even leave traces in his heart, and if he performed another task, the two of them cooperated once, Tan Yan would think that Liang Xian had walked out of this abnormal relationship and would no longer miss him.

In the strategy he took, there was no option of [together] from the beginning, and both were [impossible].

The answer had been revealed long ago, he had already been reminded by the fifty coins last night, it was Liang Xian who was unwilling to give up and insisted on trying it once.

In fact, it is the same to try or not to try, his feelings can never be conveyed to Tan Yan's heart.

After eating up all the dishes, Liang Xian raised his head and said to Tan Yan, "Let's go, we still need to study homework when we go back."

Tan Yan looked at him worriedly, still the eyes of an elder looking at a child.I won't even say that we will maintain our relationship in the future and let each other calm down. Adults don't say that to children.

It's like when a little girl would say "I'm going to marry my dad when I grow up" in a childish voice, and my dad would just smile and say "yes".

This is the relationship between him and Tan Yan.

A relationship destined to have no ending, because when he wrote love on the test paper, what Tan Yan wrote was family affection.

The two walked back to school in silence, Liang Xian sat quietly in the dormitory for a while, and then had to go to Professor Qiao's class with everyone with his books.

He didn't even have time to calm down, so he had to sit with Tan Yan in class.

Since he usually helps Tan Yan with tutoring, the two default to sitting next to each other. When Qiu Qizheng and others occupy a seat, he specially reserves a seat for the two of them. Tan Yan sits over generously. What else can Liang Xian say? , can only sit together.

He spread out his hand, the rose juice was still in the palm, a piece of red, like his heart that was crying blood.Liang Xian thought half-heartedly.

Liang Xian thought that Tan Yan was calm, but Tan Yan beside him was also in a very complicated mood.

The evidence is that today's notes have written a few wrong words, and there are a few blacked-out dots left on the neat notebook, which looks particularly abrupt.

Tan Yan was a little upset by the hot feelings of the young people.He has always positioned himself as an elder, as a teacher, as a life mentor who wants to lead the children to grow up, but now it is his fault for leading the students astray.Otherwise, it would be the same as the minister applying for the future to look older, drop out of school, and concentrate on being a guide. After a long time, no matter how persistent the relationship is, it will gradually dissipate.

Tan Yan thought about it, but didn't write many notes.Fortunately, he realized that he was not in good condition early today, so he used his mobile phone to record the content of Professor Qiao's lecture, and he will slowly sort out his notes after returning home.

A class was spent in the two's chaotic thoughts. After class, the members of the ability team stayed behind as usual, but this time there were no Feng Wu and Hai Liren.

"Why didn't they stay?" Tu Zishi asked strangely.

"The two of them have no awakening ability so far, and they have been temporarily designated as the type that cannot be awakened." Qiao Zhi learned, "In fact, we have made preparations from the beginning that not everyone can awaken, and now the probability is quite high. High, there will be new players joining next time, and one of them is very special, I hope everyone can protect him.”

"One of the twins?" Cui Heyu guessed after thinking about it.

Qiao Zhixue: "That's right. After entering the different world several times, everyone's strength has improved and they have learned to cooperate. With Xiaolu's strong support, they should be able to ensure the safety of the twins. And we didn't pick people randomly. They They are all physically fit and professionally trained, so they should be up to the task."

"What's the matter with the twins?" Tu Zishi was not in the team before, so he didn't know the situation.

Qiao Zhixue explained: "Naturally occurring quantum entanglement is basically that these two particles are originally one. For example, if a proton is divided into two, one is positively charged and the other is negatively charged, these two particles are naturally entangled. We need quantum entanglement for teleportation in another world. At present, nonlinear processes in crystals are commonly used in the world to generate multi-photon entanglement. However, at present, the laboratory can only produce fourteen entangled particles at most, and it is impossible to realize teleportation in another world. .So we can only put our eyes on the naturally occurring quantum entanglement, and finally we chose twins."

Originally Liang Xian should take the initiative to help the new classmate explain at this time, but he did not speak. Cui Heyu glanced at Liang Xian and said to Tu Zishi: "Twins are the same fertilized egg at first, we have reason to suspect that twins are born with quantum They are entangled, and this kind of entanglement must be quite huge. The purpose of bringing one of the twins over this time is to hope that people other than Tan Yan can return to the real world, so that they can be grouped in the future."

"But even if twins in the real world have telepathy, it's impossible to teleport them over long distances?" Tu Zishi asked puzzled.

Cui Heyu glanced at Liang Xian again. He still didn't explain what he usually does. Cui Heyu could only continue: "So we can only hope for the ability after passing through the 'hole'. Since there is a foresight The generation of the ability, so why can’t there be the generation of space transmission ability? Of course, we can’t sit still, we can only take the twins to try in pairs. And we can’t bring them all in at once, we must keep one in the real world and take them with us at a time. One, stimulate the generation of supernatural powers through the sense of distance in different worlds”

"How many times will I have to try?" Yan Yongfeng asked with a frown.

"I don't know." Cui Heyu shook his head, "But this is the only way at this stage, unless we get lucky, the next new team member brought in will be able to awaken the space ability immediately."

"Stop wishful thinking," Qiao Zhixue looked at his watch, "It's already nine o'clock, and we'll go to rest after training for an hour and a half..."

Before he finished speaking, the phone rang in his hand. Qiao Zhixue answered the phone with an unprecedented serious expression.

"Assemble immediately," Qiao Zhixue put down the phone and said, "This time, the 'hole' just happened to appear on the subway track, and a train full of passengers drove directly into the 'hole'!"

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