Rebirth is more than a year old

Song Chen accompanied Xiang Nan to a restaurant outside No. [-] Middle School and had dinner before leaving.

Before leaving, he took Xiang Nan's bank | bank | card number, and said that the money will be transferred to his card tomorrow, and Xiang Nan will let him go, anyway, he is also in a hurry to use the money now.

The Chinese New Year is coming soon. Although Xiang Nan gave some money to Xiang’s parents last time when he went home, it was far from enough for the New Year’s goods. And now he has to make up classes during the winter vacation, so the idea of ​​working part-time has naturally come to naught. It's going to be a holiday, so the business of second-hand online stores can only wait until next year.

Now the money Song Chen gave him is strictly speaking his own, so he wouldn't feel embarrassed to use it.

Leaving the hotel with the heating turned on, he immediately faced the cold December wind when he went south. It was so cold that it made his teeth chatter, but Song Chen didn't seem to feel anything, only wearing a woolen sweater. Wearing a leather jacket is enough to keep out the cold. Seeing that Xiang Nan was so cold that his neck shrunk, Song Chen hugged him, "Damn! How dare you come out wearing so little!" I feel sorry for my brother being bullied.

Song Chen has always liked this child from the next door named Xiang Nan.

He is well-behaved, has a docile personality, and is very cute when he is confused.

The Song family has been doing business since Song Chen's grandfather's generation, and his father's generation is already very rich. The young master who grew up with a golden spoon in his mouth and collected thousands of favors is unruly and self-willed.

Song Chen sometimes thought that if he hadn't seen that child trembling under the corner of the house on a rainy day that year, maybe he and Xiang Nan would never have met each other in this life, or maybe they had, and it was just a simple nod at the turn of.

At that time, Xiangnan was thin and small, with a face as big as a palm, wanted to cry but desperately endured it, his eyes were wet by the water, and he bit his lip desperately not wanting to make a sound, this kind of forbearance and helplessness Like a kitten that was abandoned, you would think why he was abandoned, there must be something wrong with him, but you couldn't help but think, what he looks like... this look Obviously it looks useless, but it makes you feel distressed from the bottom of your heart, as if something you like is hurt by someone for no reason, the pain will be reflected in your heart instantly, and then you will involuntarily Walking over to hold him in his arms, the young master who has been arrogant for more than ten years suddenly had many delicate thoughts at this moment, he wanted to protect this child from being hurt again.

Song Chen remembered that he was 14 years old that year, while Xiang Nan was not yet 12 years old.

Later Song Chen found out why Xiang Nan stood under the eaves on a rainy day, because he was squeezed out by his classmates. They said he was a wild child.

Song Chen's mood at that time was hard to express, he just beat those tellers to the sea, and arrogantly threatened: "Xiang Nan is the one I cover, whoever dares to trouble him again in the future, don't blame me for being rude!"

The 14-year-old boy has a face that has not yet opened. When the sunny smile on his face is replaced by a grim smile, it really scares many people.

Gentle, sensible, docile, well-behaved.When you have such a friend by your side, and this friend is defenseless against you, you go to and from school together, eat and sleep together in the same bed, he always smiles at you gently, and his two canine teeth make you feel so cute If you don't like such a person, it may be a strange thing.

One morning when Song Chen was 18 years old, he woke up to find that the sheets under his body were wet, and he panicked like it was the end of the world.What made him flustered was not his own dream, but the content of the dream.He dreamed of himself naked, and Xiangnan naked.

The rise of the family made Song Chen, who has always been thoughtful, quickly calm down, and thought about what might happen in the next five years.

Finally he made a decision.

He will tell Xiangnan that he likes men, but he doesn't say a word about the person he likes.

It is really difficult to suppress the desire to throw people down, but Song Chen walked over firmly and steadily step by step. Whenever he couldn't help himself wanting to touch Xiang Nan, thoughts would involuntarily pop up in his mind. Say a word.

That sentence is like this: I would rather be your friend than your lover, because lovers will part one day, but friends can last forever.

Regarding Xiangnan's role positioning, Song Chen chose friends from the very beginning.

He doesn't believe in any relationship that can last forever, but he believes that he and Xiang Nan can be friends for a lifetime.

After years of tempering, this first love that didn't blossom and bear fruit finally faded to a blurry shadow.The only thing that is clear is Xiangnan's thin and slender body under the eaves of the heavy rain that year. His expression of helplessness but pretending to be strong often breaks into Song Chen's thoughts when he dreams back at midnight. Song Chen likes Xiangnan like this. More, but it is as distressed as a loved one.Afraid that he will be hurt, afraid that he will be wronged, afraid that he will not know if he is bullied, and occasionally afraid that there is another person standing beside him.

Thinking of this, Song Chen involuntarily tightened his fingers holding Xiang Nan, drawing Xiang Nan's sideways glance, "What's wrong?"

He smiled and shook his head, his charming peach eyes shining brightly under the lamp.

After seeing off Song Chen, Xiang Nan turned around and walked slowly towards the dormitory.

When his thoughts were finally free, Xiang Nan realized that only a few days had passed since the day he left Feng Li's house, but he had the feeling that several years had passed.He remembered the question Song Chen had asked him just before getting into the car, and a trace of annoyance and depression gradually appeared on his calm face.

Song Chen asked: "Can you let Feng Li go?"

Xiang Nan was taken aback by this question, and then replied with a shallow smile: "Yes."

He saw Song Chen's slightly frowned brows, and at the same time realized his stupidity. He couldn't remember which book he read such a sentence: It may only take a second to fall in love with someone, but it may take a few seconds to forget. A lifetime of time.

His liking for Feng Li may still be on a slightly superficial level, but even if he really liked him once, he can't just forget it if he says he forgets it, and he doesn't like it if he doesn't like it.Song Chen said that Xiang Nan has such a gentle personality that makes people anxious, he will only move once he is poked, otherwise he will always stop in place and be content with the status quo.

However, this kind of gentle personality showed a different kind of eagerness, or decisiveness, when facing the matter of Feng Li.

Part of the reason was due to his guilt towards the disappearing boy, but the bigger factor in this decisiveness was that he couldn't accept the fact that the person Feng Li liked was not him.

Sometimes he would think, he obviously hadn't done anything bad in his previous life, why did God punish him like this?When he really fell in love with this person, such an unacceptable truth suddenly appeared, like a slap in the face, and it took him a long time to recover.

Although it was Feng Li who provoked him first, it is no longer easy to explain who is right and who is wrong when they have developed to this point.

Sometimes I think too much, so I can't avoid corners.

At that time, he would also think to himself, just throw away this gentle and harsh personality, imitate Song Chen's temperament, grab it in his hands by whatever means he likes, and let the other party belong to him from body to heart, but this kind of thinking After all, he was defeated by his gentle temper. Xiang Nan really couldn't do such a thing.If there was no boy named Xiang Nan lying between them, if he hadn't taken over this body by accident, maybe he would have fought and snatched it without hesitation, because everyone has the right to pursue happiness, but when this The two possibilities really lie in reality, and all his courage and determination are strangled in the cradle before he can put it into action.

In the final analysis, his love for Feng Li was no match for his guilt for the disappearing boy.

Occupy his body, but still want to occupy the person who likes him.Xiang Nan felt that such behavior was a crime even thinking about it.

There is a condemnation not of duty but of morality and principle.

The quiet campus made the cold winter night a bit lonely and bleak. Xiangnan sat down on a wooden chair by the side of the road, and the dim light of the street lamp shone through the dense branches of evergreen trees, enveloping him in a In the faint halo, looking from a distance, people actually have a kind of panic that this person will disappear with the wind at any time.

When Xiang Nan heard footsteps and turned his head, he saw a slender figure approaching.

The cold air, the quiet night, and the dim streetlights completely exposed the fleeting panic on the man's face. He pursed his lips to the south and looked at the other party a few steps away from the wooden chair. He stopped, as if hesitating for a moment, and then walked slowly step by step.

Xiang Nan used to read a lot of books in his spare time. Most of the books talked about how young men and women went through all kinds of hardships and overcome many difficulties to get together. What the book doesn't say is how to show your calmness and humility when facing your ex who just broke up, and how to suppress the tension and uneasiness that comes from the bottom of your heart.

Because of the intrusion of outsiders, a trace of strangeness and embarrassment floated in the quiet air for no reason.

The man stood by the wooden chair for a while before sitting down low.

A light mint aroma permeated the surroundings in an instant, with a familiar yet unfamiliar gesture to the south, gentle and wanton.

The air was so silent that a needle could be heard falling.

When the relationship between the two people changed, the silence that permeated the surroundings was no longer as calm and natural as before, but full of embarrassment and embarrassment everywhere.

No one spoke for a while.

Xiang Nan didn't know what to say, so he naturally didn't ask Feng Li why he appeared here at this time?

And Feng Li had been keeping a serious expression since just now, as if he was planning to make some great remarks.

The wooden chair below bears the weight of the two people, but still plays the role of the silent person. The two sit on the two ends of the wooden chair, with only half a meter between them, but it seems like the whole world is separated.Sometimes physical distance is not terrible, what is terrible is psychological distance.

I don't know how long it took before Feng Li's voice came slowly, as if he had been silent for too long, his voice was a little dry, and it didn't sound as warm and gentle as Xiang Nan remembered, "Did Song Chen leave?"

Xiang Nan lowered his head, looked at the toes of his shoes, and answered with a hmm.

The alienation in this tone made Feng Li frowned, and then said: "Recently, I figured out something."

Xiang Nan finally raised his head, and the generosity gave him a slightly puzzled look. This was the Xiang Nan that Feng Li was familiar with. He was gentle and humble, and even the way he expressed his doubts was calm and soothing. I felt that my heart was being pricked twice very lightly by something, and then it seemed that something suddenly came to life, beating regularly. Facing such Xiangnan, Feng Li's mood became more cautious, Cautiously, as if saying one wrong word would lead to eternal doom, "I like the boy who disappeared." Then he continued with Xiang Nan's expression neither sad nor happy: "But I love you."

Hearing this, Xiang Nan didn't speak.

As time passed by, Feng Li still didn't get any answer from the people around him, not even a neat single tone.He was actually a little nervous, and this kind of tension has always existed since he drove here. However, during the short few minutes of waiting for the answer, the tension in his heart began to become intense and could not be ignored. Then Feng Li discovered a A deadly question.

He found that at this moment, he felt as if he was sitting on pins and needles like a young man who had just begun to fall in love with someone who was secretly changing.

This feeling was unfamiliar, but Feng Li was willing to accept it.

He really loves Xiang Nan. This feeling came from the initial liking, and after a short and long fermentation in the past few days, it gradually turned into a strong feeling that he must be dear.He made a choice in a short period of time and found a master for the complete feeling in his heart.

After a while, Xiang Nan spoke softly. It was really a soft voice, but in such a quiet space, no matter how soft the voice was, the people around him should be able to hear it. This sentence was very short, only two words .

He said, "Thank you."

Hearing these light and peaceful words, Feng Li's heart instantly turned cold.He knew early on that it was impossible for Xiang Nan to accept him again immediately, but what he didn't expect was that Xiang Nan's attitude was so firm.

He pondered for a moment, then spoke to the young man beside him in an adult way: "Xiang Nan, don't you believe that I love you?"

Xiang Nan turned his head to look at him, his big and black pupils reflected the light and shadows dappled by the street lamps, Feng Li felt a bit of sadness in such sight, his own, and Xiang Nan's, he heard him say : "I believe you love me, but this love is incomplete. Before you met me, you fell in love with Xiangnan, and after you learned the truth, you found out that you fell in love with me. In fact, you can clearly tell the end of your love Which one is Xiangnan? Me, or the child who disappeared?"

Feng Li didn't hesitate, "It's you I love." The shy person who was kissed by him, the person who smiled at him helplessly, the person who gently told him to try, even looked at him with shining eyes. Said that there might be someone who likes it a little bit.

The memory of the person in front of him has never been so complete. Every expression, every look, and every movement can be remembered so clearly.If this is not love, then what is it?Feng Li only hated himself for realizing it too late, for missing the good time that should have been, and for hurting Xiang Nan's heart for nothing.

Xiang Nan's gaze was still fixed on his face, as if he wanted to see the depths of his soul through this handsome appearance, and also imitate Zixia Fairy to run into the belly of the person she likes and ask about the bosom heart. With a bright red heart, which one does he like?

"Then what about Xiang Nan who disappeared?" Xiang Nan asked, "I plan to return him to you."

One is the person you like, and the other is the person you love.

The palms and backs of the hands are full of meat.What can be done to minimize the damage?The businessman, known as a high IQ by the outside world, was silent, his thin lips were tightly pursed, his brows were slightly furrowed, and it seemed that he was engaged in a battle between heaven and man, Xiang Nan said again in his long silence: "Feng Li, let's be friends. "Let the past and the past go with the wind, and let them be a pair of normal and harmonious friends. If one day the lost soul really returns, he can return this body to its original owner.Although Song Chen said that the child might never come back, Xiang Nan still hoped that he could come back, if he came back, he would be free.

Regaining a new life is good, but to live with so much guilt and melancholy, Xiang Nan feels that he might as well never live in this world that does not belong to him.

In the game of love, someone chooses to be friends in order to stand by that person forever.

However, Feng Li's view of love is not like this. His love is passionate, deep, and can even burn each other.If he can't keep the one he loves by his side, how can there be love?

As soon as Xiang Nan finished speaking, his voice came immediately, "You have only one identity for me, and that is a lover."

Xiang Nan smiled slightly in his unexpectedly eager tone, but the corners of his mouth curled up in a small arc, a sense of helplessness and lethargy trickled out from his smile, "We have nothing to do with each other now, Feng Li."

Feng Li had never noticed that when his name slipped out of the mouth of the person opposite, he would have other emotions besides softness, a little rusty, a little polite, and a deliberately planned distance.Feng Li said: "I can pursue you again until you nod."

The smile on the corner of Xiang Nan's mouth remained unchanged, his voice was as gentle as usual, and he spoke at a leisurely pace without even a trace of trembling. He said, "You know what? If you borrow something from someone else, you must return it. No matter how convenient and comfortable you use it, it still bears the label of others. Although you are not a thing to me, you do not belong to me. It belongs to the disappeared boy. I envy him and owe him He. I don't deny that I still like you now, because you are indeed a gentle and considerate person. No one can guarantee that I won't like you after staying with you for a long time, but this kind of like makes me become A person who is heavily in debt, what I dislike the most in my life is what I owe to others."

Feng Li was speechless immediately.

Xiang Nan stood up from the wooden chair amidst his worrying thoughts, his thin body was still as slender as before, when Feng Li looked up, he saw his peaceful side face without any emotion.At this moment, Feng Li was almost sure that he really loved this 30-year-old soul. He loved him so much that he could lose it forever, so he couldn't calm down any more. So he stood up, grabbed the other person's wrist, and pulled this person All in my arms.

Xiang Nan didn't struggle either, his hands hung straight by his sides, and he refused to rest on Feng Li's waist.

Don't take things that are not your own.He always remembers it.

Feng Li felt a deep powerlessness in this silent and stalemate atmosphere.

Xiang Nan was different from everyone he had ever known.

Do not fight, do not grab.

I will not be sad on purpose, nor will I miss the past.

His life seems to be a straight line, and he always walks with an unhurried pace. This unhurried attitude makes people admire and at the same time makes people angry.Why can he walk so calmly, so gracefully, so firmly, without looking back, so that makes him feel panic.

For Xiang Nan, his Feng Li has probably become a thing of the past.It's just a pale and vague name on the title page, other than that, it doesn't have any meaning.

Ironically, his love has only just begun, and his is already over.

Even if he locks the person in his arms at this moment, he can no longer feel the slightest tenderness from the other party. Feng Li misses the person who is always shy in his arms, his expression is more shy than his body And at a loss.

This is Xiang Nan, the gentle young man he once had but lost.