Return to the Road of God

When being kissed, Ye Yufan was in a trance for a moment, it was a feeling that was both familiar and strange.

The man's eyebrows and eyes are still the same as that of the man in memory, and the other's every frown and smile really touches my heart...

He let the other party's tongue touch his own lips and teeth, from the initial probing and groping, to an eager desire and request... At this moment, memories flooded up like a flood!

Everything in the past flashed before his eyes one by one——

That year, Bai Changqing took him back to China, and he saw this man named Guan Linyun for the first time at the airport.

Guan Linyun was a good friend of Bai Changqing's life, so there was no need to hide the relationship between Bai Changqing and Xia Xiaochuan in front of that person. From then on, the two people who were inseparable became three.

Guan Linyun often organizes various activities and invites them to participate. The three of them watch various domestic painting exhibitions together, go to the mountains to collect scenery and sketch together...

That person is not good at drawing, but he likes to look at Xia Xiaochuan's paintings. He looks absorbed and absorbed, as if looking at a lover.

Guan Linyun treated him better than his "lifetime friends". He invited the best private tailor in the capital to make clothes for him. He personally washed his brushes and cut rice paper for him. of oil paints.

Sometimes Bai Changqing took a fancy to it and said that Guan Linyun "cherished talents" to the point of frenzy, but he just smiled and didn't refute.

Once on his own birthday, Guan Linyun went to Zhou Huchen Brush and Ink Zhuang and spent a lot of money to ask the master brush maker of Zuo Zhuang to customize a set of brushes for him. He still remembered that the name of the set of brushes was "Haina"...

Another year, Guan Lin got a convertible classic car and drove him and Changqing for a ride. He refused because he didn't want to attract attention, but he hugged him into the car, still on his head. He pressed a large hat on his face, leaned over and whispered in his ear, "Don't be afraid."

He was very dull, and he didn't notice the man's thoughts about him at all.Because at that time, there was only Evergreen in his heart.

And Changqing always said that that person is so kind to his friends.

That evening, they caught up with the heavy rain, and the car was exposed, and the three of them were drenched thoroughly, and because of Changqing, they took off their coats and put them on for themselves. As a result, they caught wind and cold when they returned. Changqing didn't see better for half a year.

The repeated wind and cold and the unstoppable cough turned the originally lively young man into a weak medicine jar.During that time, I was always very scared, worried that Changqing would "leave" one day earlier than myself.

However, the "departure" he was worried about did not happen, but Changqing really left!

He didn't give him any warning, and didn't leave a single piece of paper. Just like that, he left...he went abroad alone.

He could not believe this fact like a bolt from the blue, even though Guan Linyun was by his side every inch, and said that Changqing asked him to tell him that due to some family reasons, he had to go overseas to do business, and the decision was hasty , so it was too late to talk to him.

He didn't believe it, if Changqing had time to ask Guan Lin Zhuan to tell him, how could he not have time to tell himself?

If he was just going overseas for business, why didn't he bring himself?

He once promised himself that he would spend every day with him for the rest of his life and never give up!

He recalled the day before Changqing left, the last time they met and talked, Changqing seemed to say a lot of good things to Guan Linyun, and asked him to try to communicate with people other than himself, not to be too closed.

Guan Lin Yun used to use such words to comfort him. Changqing said that he was such a person. He must be afraid of feeling sad, so he made up these words.

...But it seems that Changqing has long thought of leaving, why didn't he notice it?

He thought of a terrible fact, and asked Guan Lin Yun if Changqing was running out of time, so he avoided him.

Guan Linyun shook his head, and said calmly, Changqing is gone, but he will always be by his side.

Self-blame, sadness, grievance, despair... He couldn't listen to Guan Linyun's comfort at all.

When Changqing left, he also took away his three souls and six souls. He was deeply in the dark and depressed all day long.

……

Ye Yufan frowned in pain as his brain was under the impact of revived memories.

If he loves Changqing deeply, why is he flirting with other men now?

"Hmm..." He hummed softly, unconsciously responding to the man's kiss.

The other party paused because of his inadvertent movement, and hugged him more tightly.

Immediately afterwards, with a tilt of his body, Ye Yufan lost his center of gravity. When he realized it, he was already pushed down on the sofa by the other party...

After Bai Changqing left, he didn't want to talk to others, and he rarely went out, only immersed in the world of art.He kept drawing, because only when he picked up his pen could he see Bai Changqing.

Changqing's eyes and eyelashes, Changqing's frown and smile, although he left, all the details seemed to be clearly visible in his mind...

He imagined the appearance of Bai Changqing when he left, and created "Back View". The painting full of thoughts is hung in the middle of the studio that Guan Linyun arranged for him. Every time he looks at the painting and thinks, he will burst into tears.

Two years have passed, and he has not received any news from Changqing. Although he has already guessed that Bai Changqing may not be alive, he is still unwilling to admit it. At least in this way, he can still have some thoughts.

After another period of torment, he discovered that there seemed to be something abnormal in his body.

He seems to have become two people...

During the day, he can still behave normally, draw pictures and meditate calmly, but at night, he can't control his thoughts at all. Every second, he hesitates whether to see the sun the next day.

But if he simply "wanted to die", he couldn't say "becoming two people". What really terrified him was that during the day he couldn't remember what he did the night before.

Once he woke up and saw a lot of black paint on the wall of the bedroom. He was so scared that he rushed out and called the nanny, saying that a thief had broken in at night.Guan Linyun came to accompany him that night, and when he woke up the next morning, Guan Linyun looked at him tiredly.

Guan Linyun pointed to the new marks on the wall and asked, "Xiaochuan, you get up to draw at night, don't you remember?"

He was speechless, a chill spread all over his body, and Guan Lin Yun asked again: "Last night, you pulled me and said that you don't want to live anymore, and you feel that every day is very painful... Is it true?"

"I don't remember," he said.

Guan Linyun smiled wryly: "I thought you had already forgotten him."

He said: "How could I forget."

Guan Linyun: "I can't forget it, at least I should let it go, he...may not come back."

That's right, it's been three years, and there's still no news... He doesn't know what's the point of waiting, and he doesn't know if he can live a good life if he gives up even the thought of waiting.

At this moment, Guan Linyun suddenly held his hand: "Xiaochuan, Changqing is gone, but you still have me. Could it be... I can't replace him?"

He looked at this man in shock, he had never expected such a development.

"No..." Before he could refuse, the man hugged him and kissed him.

While kissing him, the man murmured "love him", almost insane, his wrist was clasped and he couldn't break free, the man's strength was terrifying, he never imagined that Bai Changqing's "best friend" , that man who treats himself meticulously because of "cherishing talents" and is also respected as a close friend by himself, will suddenly do something like that...

The man pressed on him and had sex with him forcefully. He was clearly the one who was violated, but in the end he was the perpetrator crying... Afterwards, Guan Linyun leaned on him, weeping and repeating Say "I'm sorry" three words.

"I'm sorry, Xiao Chuan, I beg you, don't commit suicide..."

And he has no time to think about that, he just feels very tired, very tired, so tired that he almost fainted.

He knew that something was wrong with him mentally, and this situation became more and more serious after Guan Linyun forced him to have sex with him.

In the end, Guan Linyun had no choice but to find a psychiatrist, who wanted to cure him.

"I will not let you leave mine... I will never allow..."

He cooperated very well and answered all the doctor's questions truthfully, including his love experience with Bai Changqing and his own thoughts during this time.

However, the diagnosis turned out badly, and the doctors did not hide it from him.

He suffered from severe depression and was in danger of committing suicide at any time. The doctor advised his family to implement strict "protection" for him.

He forgot many details, and only vaguely remembered that he was locked in a room for a long time, and he couldn't do anything except read a book, and he couldn't draw, because the brushes and blades could also become tools to hurt himself.

Once, he scratched his finger with a page of a book. Guan Linyun was so frightened that he replaced all the books with soft copies, and stayed by his side for several days.

During those days, intercourse was also indispensable. The man tried his best to let himself forget all his troubles through this matter, but he didn't know that after each incident, the guilt in his heart became deeper and deeper.

He couldn't accept himself like this, "Guan Linyun, let me go." He didn't know how many times he begged him in such a calm tone.

The man's eyes were red, he didn't know if he was angry or sad, he hugged himself and didn't speak for a long time, but not long after that, he found another person.

The man's eyes were so deep that they seemed to be able to suck people in. When I looked at him, I instinctively felt that it was dangerous.But he has no love in his life, and he doesn't care what the other party will do to him.

Guan Linyun left him and the man in the same room. The stranger asked him to sit on a chair, introduced himself as a psychiatrist, and then chatted with him a lot, mostly with "Changqing" related topics.

Later, he couldn't remember, because he fell asleep.

……

When he opened his eyes again, he felt empty and panicked.

Looking around, until a person came into view - "Where have you been?" He got up and grabbed his hand, asking uneasily.

The man seemed startled, then recovered his expression, held the cup in his hand and said, "I'll pour you a cup of tea."

He smiled, took the cup, and felt more at ease: "I just..." He paused.

"What happened to you just now?" the man asked.

He shook his head: "Nothing..." He felt as if he had forgotten something.

The man said softly: "Are you hungry? The almond cakes from Dianpin Shengfang should be out of the oven. I'll go buy some for you, okay?"

He looked at him nervously: "when will you be back?"

Man: "Soon, half an hour at most."

"I want to go together," he said.

The man looked surprised: "Are you going out?"

He said: "I always feel like I haven't been out for a long time, and my whole body is very stiff. Would you like to drive there? I'll just sit in the car and look at the streets and alleys outside the window."

The man was overjoyed, his hands shaking with excitement.

He didn't understand what he said that moved the other party so much.

"Hello..." The man kissed his forehead and said incoherently, "It's great... From now on, you will never think of that person again..."

"What are you talking about?" He looked at him strangely, feeling a little funny, "...Changqing?"