Years of Intoxication

"Why!" Song Juhan threw Feng Zheng to the ground, rushed up and grabbed He Gu's arm, and said sharply, "Why do you still see him!"

He Gu turned his head, gritted his teeth and said word by word: "Because, for, me, joy, meaning."

Song Juhan froze, and suddenly showed a mocking smile: "I understand, you did it on purpose, right? It was the same with the driver, and it was the same with Feng Zheng, did you deliberately anger me, did you take revenge on me!"

Feng Zheng stood up from the ground, and said viciously: "You don't put money on your face." He was about to pounce on him.

Song Juhan pushed He Gu into the corridor, followed him in, and kicked the anti-theft door of the unit building with his feet.The rattling sound of the old-fashioned iron door echoed in the empty corridor, which was particularly ear-piercing.

Feng Zheng was locked outside.

Song Juhan kicked the anti-theft door, and pointed his middle finger at Feng Zheng: "Stupid boy, I don't have time to deal with you today, or I will let you go back sideways."

"Song Juhan, you fucking opened the door and wanted to run before you finished fighting? You bastard!" Feng Zheng was so angry that he slammed on the door.

He Gu stared at Song Juhan coldly: "Get lost, or I will call the police."

"As you wish." Song Juhan said viciously.

He Gu wanted to break free from his hand, but that hand was like an iron claw, he couldn't shake it off no matter what, he squinted his eyes: "Song Juhan, I beg you, can you stop harassing me."

Song Juhan glared at He Gu angrily, his chest heaved violently, and he couldn't help tightening his five fingers.

He Gu frowned in pain, but didn't say anything.

Song Juhan whispered, "Do you hate me?"

Just as He Gu was about to say something, Feng Zheng kicked the door hard again, and roughly pressed the intercoms on all floors, roaring: "Song Juhan, open the door for me! Open the door!"

"Go to hell." Song Juhan grabbed He Gu and walked upstairs.

"Song Juhan!" Feng Zheng was so angry that he jumped up and down.

He Gu was forced by Song Juhan to take out the key, opened the door of the house, and stuffed it into the house.

He Gu rubbed the red wrist that was squeezed by Song Juhan, and looked at him indifferently.

Song Juhan plucked his hair, walked back and forth three times in the room violently, and then pointed to He Gu and said, "You must have been bewitched by them, you were not like this before, it was all them, it was all them who separated us!"

"It has nothing to do with them!" He Gu said angrily, "Why don't you understand, I'm not mad at you, I'm not trying to take revenge on you, I just want to go our separate ways with you, and we have nothing to do with you anymore!"

Every word of He Gu was like a heavy hammer hitting Song Juhan's heart, knocking him into a daze.He still doesn't believe that He Gu really wants to break up with him. He thinks that He Gu is angry and disappointed, so he has to get angry, punish him, and save face. As long as he endures, gives way, and coaxes him, Why will he return to himself in the end.

How can he believe that the reason who raised him to the sky in seven years is now throwing him to the ground mercilessly?How could someone be so decisive, why and why?

He doesn't believe it, he doesn't believe it, he doesn't believe it!

He Gu likes him, this is what He Gu said personally, he likes him so much that he never leaves even if it is bad, and likes him so much that he is willing to take the risk of committing a crime for him, how can such a liking be said to be gone, how can it be said not to be gone? !

Song Juhan shook his head and said stubbornly: "Impossible, why, didn't you say you would always like me? I know you are angry with me, I treat you badly, I always let you down, I'm sorry, I always... ...I have been hurting you all the time. But I am changing. You have been with me for so many years. Who have you seen me humiliating to? Not even my parents. Can't you see how much I care about you? Can't I Does everything you do for a while mean nothing to you?"

He Gu shook his head: "You just kept pushing me, you beat my friend, you hijacked me to an isolated island for two weeks, and you took away all my documents. What did you do during this time? Everything is to make you happy, do you still expect me to praise you?"

"I can't help it. Who told you to leave quietly, who told you to go with that bad driver..." Song Juhan clenched his fists, "You are still talking and laughing with Feng Zheng, do you know How long has it been since you smiled at me? Why did you smile at him! Why! "

"Song Juhan, will you never learn to respect others in your lifetime?"

"I...I will respect you, as long as you don't run away suddenly, do you know how uncomfortable I was during the time when I couldn't find you?" Song Juhan stared at He Gu, his tone pleading, "He Gu, give me Is it a good chance, I will change everything you don’t like, I’m trying to get better, don’t give up on me. I, I like you, I’ve been crazy for a while, I can’t find anything other than liking you reason can make me like this."

He Gu closed his eyes and said wearily, "I've finished what I should have said to you. If you really respect me, please go now."

"Why." Song Juhan's expression seemed to be about to cry, "Why are you so fucking cruel! What else do you want from me!"

He Gu's voice didn't fluctuate at all: "I want you to leave." Song Juhan's sad expression and aggrieved voice were a hand strangling his throat, making it difficult for him to breathe.

He knew he was distressed.

Song Juhan is a piece of meat on the tip of his heart, which is hard to part with, so of course he will feel distressed.But distressed can't change his decision, it seems that no matter how much pain and shame he bears, he has lived by Song Juhan's side for seven years.He is such a person who does not flinch because of pain, and does not indulge because of joy.

Of course, Song Juhan gave him too much pain, and he finally couldn't hold it anymore.

Song Juhan's breathing was accompanied by trembling, he stared straight at He Gu, the grief and indignation in his eyes brewed a bit of dark madness, he remembered that he was outside the car and saw He Gu and Feng Zheng sitting in the car chatting, that moment The mood of wanting to tear Feng Zheng apart.

He has never experienced such powerlessness, it seems that even if he took out his heart, why would he not care about it.

Could it be that why is it true that there is no turning back?Why did you really not want him?He couldn't take it, he couldn't take it at all.

He Gu was frightened by Song Juhan's ruthless eyes, he took a step back defensively, not knowing what Song Juhan was going to do when he committed a crime.

"Tomorrow, I will ask Xiaosong to send your ID." Song Juhan said in a deep voice, "I will never break into your house again, and I will never... interfere with your making friends, but remember, everything, everything is for you I will not make it easier for anyone with intentions."

Why don't you turn your face away.

Song Juhan wiped his face, and said with a deep tired voice, "You should rest." After he finished speaking, he turned around and left, at the moment of closing the door, he paused, and said in a low voice, "Why, did you really like me? ?”

Why is the body trembling slightly.

After Song Juhan left, He Gu stood stiffly for several minutes before leaning on the wall, and laughed softly, his whole body trembling from laughing.

"Did you really like me?"

It hits the nail on the head.

He why didn't know how Song Juhan and Feng Zheng resolved that day, anyway, he had a quiet night and no one bothered him.

It wasn't until the next day that Feng Zheng called, but he had a lot of questions to ask, so he finally had to ask him if he was okay.

Why did he bring the past lightly.

In fact, he didn't have that much patience with Feng Zheng, at best he was just nostalgic, but after the trouble last night, he felt that it would be troublesome for them to get back in touch.

He knew why he went out with Feng Zheng in the first place - he was too lonely.

GuQingPei couldn't take care of himself, Zhuang Jieyu went abroad to film, and his relatives were far away in other cities.Without communication at work, he found that he was completely alone. He didn't even have anyone to talk to, and every day was so boring that it was suffocating.

When he was at work before, he hadn't realized that he was also afraid of loneliness. It turned out that loneliness was such a terrible monster.

He even thought about whether to keep a pet, but he was too unstable now to dare to take a life rashly.

Lost in desire, out of work, out of social life, he seemed abandoned by the whole world.

After being silent for such a long time, it is time for him to do something, otherwise he will be useless if he stays any longer.But after thinking about it again and again, he still doesn't want to go to a strange country, next time he invites Gu QingPei to have a meal, please thank him in person.

He plans to go to Shencheng in a few days and have an interview with his mother. It's time for him to make a decision for the future.

For several days, Song Juhan didn't come to find He Gu. He Gu blocked his phone, so he used Xiaosong's phone to send messages. He Gu was too embarrassed to block Xiao Song, so he had to block it.

Feng Zheng also came to see He Gu once. He Gu said that he wanted to stay at home quietly recently, so he rejected his invitation again.

When a person stays in an empty room for a long time, he strongly wants to hear some movement, even if it is just the sound of people panting.So He Gu called GuQingPei to chat, called Chen Shan to ask about the latest situation, and finally even called Zhuang Jieyu across the ocean, concerned about how his filming was going.

Zhuang Jieyu was so moved that he said that he would look for him as soon as he returned.

After a few days like this, He Gu felt that it was not an option to disturb others all the time, so he decided to go to Shencheng, but before he had time to call his mother, his mother called first, saying that he would bring Su Su to the capital today. Her tone was anxious.

He Gu was very worried: "Mom, is something wrong?"

Sun Qing let out a long sigh: "Susu found out about my illness, she didn't know how to be suspicious, and peeked at my case."

"Is... Susu okay?"

"I've been crying all day. I'm afraid that Lao Li will find out. It just so happens that she has finished her final exam, so I want to bring her to you."

He Gu was startled: "Wait, you didn't tell Uncle Li about your illness?"

"……No."

He Gu frowned: "Why didn't you tell him such a big thing?"

"It's complicated, I'll talk to you when I meet."

He Gu felt a headache after hanging up the phone.His mother is a very shrewd woman. Apart from poor marriage management, she has shown a high level of dual quotient in everything else. This way of hiding everyone's illness is mostly for the sake of property.

In fact, he really wanted to persuade his mother not to take money so seriously. The most beneficial thing for Susu's future would definitely not be money, and she would be much more relaxed, but he knew it was useless. His stubbornness was inherited from she.

He got up and cleaned up the master bedroom, moved to the guest room by himself, then went to the supermarket to buy some daily necessities and food, put down his things at home, and just happened to drive to the airport to pick up someone.

As soon as Su Su saw him, she threw herself into his arms and wept softly. Her eyes were always red, obviously she had cried several times.

He Gu patted her head, and said softly: "You are a big girl, be strong, don't cry."

Susu shook her head and kept hugging his waist.

Sun Qing frowned, looked at He Gu, and just sighed.

"Let's go, let's go home." He Gu paused, "I live in the old house now."

Sun Qing's expression changed slightly, but she finally said calmly, "It's good that I haven't been back for more than ten years."

Why did you take the two of them on board and drive home.

Su Su was spoiled and spoiled since she was a child, she would frown as soon as she entered the room, and whispered, "It's so small."

"It's a bit small, but it's clean and safe, and it has the most basic functions of a house. Most importantly, it's where my mother raised my brother, so don't judge it by size alone." He Ge took her hand , "Can you show me your room with your mother?"

"Okay." The child was easy to coax.

He Gu led Susu into the bedroom he had packed up temporarily. He bought a lot of things that he thought the little girl might like, and Susu really liked it too. When he entered the room, he hugged a bear and played with it.

He Gu closed the door gently, returned to the living room, saw that Sun Qing was still looking around, her eye circles were already red: "You have redecorated."

"Well, a lot of things used to get old and couldn't live anymore."

Sun Qing nodded, and said softly: "When your father and I got married, this house was allocated by his unit. At that time, he had a high professional title, and the allocation was as big as the old teacher's. Many people envied us."

He Gu's eyes dimmed.

"Son, I have lived to this age, and I have experienced everything. Sometimes I feel that life is really mysterious." Sun Qing picked up the old family portrait on the TV cabinet, gently stroking everyone on it with trembling fingers, "When I was young, I listened to my parents' arrangements and married your father. After I got married, I thought he was pedantic and weak, and I always lived in resentment. After the reform and opening up, I suddenly saw a more exciting world, and I couldn't sit still. After your father passed away, I felt sad and felt relieved. I focused on pursuing the life I wanted and the love I wanted. I thought I got what I wanted, but in the end I found out that the friendship that has been shared through thick and thin for so many years , I can't even type the word '利', the person I once admired and liked so much has become disgusting, so I began to miss your father's kindness and gentleness..."

He Gu listened silently, deeply moved.

Sun Qing sniffed: "People are like this. They are always chasing imaginary things. If they can't catch them, they will be heartbroken. If they catch them, they are still not satisfied. In the end, you don't know what you want. Yes. If people can understand what they want, they will live in vain in this life. Not only did I fail to understand, but I also failed to fulfill the responsibility of a mother. You are such a good son, but I abandoned you. I If you get sick, you must be punished."

He Gu said seriously: "Mom, we have agreed, don't say such things again."

Sun Qing wiped away the tears from the corners of her eyes: "Don't worry, I'm very calm now. The biggest change I've made in my decades is that I'm no longer so selfish. I don't think about myself any more, I just want to Looking at you and Susu, I think what I can leave for you. The reason why I didn't tell the Li family is because once they know that I am sick, they will eat away at my shares during my hospitalization. My relationship with them is better than yours. I imagined it to be even worse. If it wasn't for Susu, I would have been torn apart a long time ago. Now that Susu already knows, I plan to come to Beijing for chemotherapy on the grounds of accompanying Susu on a study tour. I have already contacted the doctor. More than a month is enough to do a lot of things.”

He Gu held her thin shoulders: "Mom, I will accompany you."

At night, Susu insisted on sleeping with He Gu.He Gu felt a little embarrassed, but still agreed.

That night, the siblings chatted a lot. He Gu was surprised to find that Su Su was more mature and sensible than he imagined. She actually knew many things that Sun Qing thought she didn't know, such as her parents' relationship.Children are really sensitive, even if they can't see through the inside of things, they can still feel it.

He Gu told Susu about Sun Qing's illness, and told her that as long as she controlled it properly, her mother could live for decades, and Susu's mood finally improved.

The next day, He Gu took Sun Qing to the hospital, Su Su wanted to follow, but was still left at home by the adults.

Sun Qing found the best breast cancer expert in China, and the three discussed the condition and treatment plan together.He Gu's upright appearance, low voice and rigorous personality endowed him with a reassuring temperament. It is the kind of pure masculine and stable temperament like a backer. Many people can only get this kind of temperament from their father. With a sense of security, Sun Qing felt a lot comforted by his presence.

After leaving the hospital, He Gu picked up Su Su, and the three of them went to have a meal. They all temporarily forgot about Sun Qing's illness. During the dinner, they chatted and laughed, and the atmosphere was good.

At home at night, He Gu looked at Sun Qing in pajamas wiping the tea table, and Susu rolling on the sofa with a comic book in his arms, and his heart suddenly became warm.

It's really nice to have someone to accompany you.

He read the manga with Susu for a while, when his cell phone rang suddenly.

He took it over and saw that it was an unfamiliar number, probably Song Juhan's again, so he hung up directly.

After a while, the call came again, he hung up again, and just when he was about to block, a text message popped up: Old brother, I am He Yi.

He Gu's hands trembled, and he quickly called.

The call was connected quickly, and Zhou Heyi's gentle voice sounded: "Brother Gu, why did you hang up on me?"

He Gu was startled: "You, are you in China?"

"Yes." Zhou Heyi laughed a few times embarrassedly, "I'm here to find you."