Years of Intoxication

Song Juhan hugged why, like holding a life-saving straw, even if he was trembling with grief and anger, he didn't let go, he murmured drunkenly "What reason do I want", which broke my heart.

He Gu gathered all his strength, pushed him away, and ran out of the study in embarrassment.

He ran to the living room, ignored the Indian butler's stop, and rushed to the door, but the moment he opened the door, he froze.

Outside the door is a prosperous landscape, and further away, there is an endless blue sea.

The housekeeper followed and said in fluent Chinese: "Mr. He, we are now on a small island in the Mediterranean Sea. This is a private island. Without the consent of the young master, no one can leave."

He Gu turned his head and looked at him coldly: "Is there a boat on the island?"

The butler said respectfully: "Only a small yacht, even if you can get the key, and you happen to be able to drive and navigate, the fuel is not enough for you to go back to land."

Why was silent, and went straight out.

"Mr. He."

"Stop following me."

He Gu walked into the garden outside the villa. The tropical plants were rich in color and competed with each other. Without deliberate decoration, they grew passionate and wild beauty. He Gu stood in the middle of the garden, endlessly at a loss.

His mind went blank for a moment, and he didn't know why he was here.Between him and Song Juhan, how could it be reduced to this point.

He took a deep breath and tried to calm his mind.

Song Juhan took him to an isolated island, intending to put him under house arrest?

Song Juhan, a lunatic, can do anything. It seems that this time he really pissed him off.

He Gu was thinking about how to get out of here. He was afraid that Song Juhan would retaliate against Zhou Heyi, he was also afraid that Zhou Heyi would be worried, and he was even more afraid that his mother would be anxious when he found out that he had lost contact.

But it is surrounded by the sea, where is he going?I'm afraid he really can't go back unless Song Juhan agrees...

There was a sound of footsteps behind him, accompanied by the soft crunch of branches and leaves being trampled on.

He Gu turned around and looked at Song Juhan in a piece of vibrant green, his face was ashen.

Song Juhan's eyes were red, his expression was fierce and embarrassed, and he also stared at He Gu viciously.

He Gu said as calmly as possible: "When are you going to let me go back?"

"You swear you'll never see that driver again, when you come home with me."

"Song Juhan, are you crazy?" He Gu narrowed his eyes, "This kind of thing is what you want, can you force me?"

"Don't you like me!" Song Juhan roared like a trapped animal from his throat, "Don't you like me because you want to! Don't you want to be with me!"

"I don't think about it now." He Gu looked Song Juhan straight in the eyes, and said clearly, "I will never think about it again."

Song Juhan's expression seemed to pounce on someone and eat someone, his lips moved twice, and he said in a trembling voice: "No...I don't allow you to be with others, you can only like me, you can only like me for the rest of your life!"

He Gu frowned deeply: "Song Juhan, can you be more of a jerk." Obviously it is something that he doesn't cherish at all, but he insists on holding it in his hands and refuses to let it go. Why?Why?Just because he is Song Juhan!

"You are a fucking bastard!" Song Juhan pointed at He Gu and yelled angrily, "I want to please you so much, I want to start over with you so much! You left without saying a word, and you are still fucking with someone else... Why, I really want to Strangle you."

He Gu said in a deep voice: "You want to start over with me? Let me watch you get married, have children, and walk around the market with a legal wife, and I will continue to be your underground lover? Song Juhan, you have been so selfish all your life, I understand, everything People think about you first, so you always think about yourself first, and I am the same. In the past years, I only followed you, but I can't do it now. I want to live the life I like. Can you let it go? I?"

"I'm not getting married!" Song Juhan said urgently, "I won't marry anyone, I swear, I won't touch anyone, as long as you come back, I can..." Song Juhan pursed his lips, his expression was extremely painful Wronged, "I don't care about you and that driver... As long as you don't see him anymore, as long as you come back, I will only have you, only you!"

He Gu felt pain in his heart, which spread to his whole body like waves of ripples. He closed his eyes and said, "Why do you want me to go back? For seven years, you didn't pay attention to me. Why do you need me now? I?"

Song Juhan's lips trembled, and he gritted his teeth and said: "I can't leave you, are you satisfied? Once you leave, nothing will be right... I don't know what you did to me, why, you have Capability. You come back, you... I will promise whatever you want, as long as you come back."

He Gu stared at Song Juhan quietly for two seconds: "Song Juhan, do you like me?"

"I don't know what to call liking, but there is no second person in this world who can make me like this." Song Juhan looked at He Gu deeply, "Isn't this liking?"

He Gu felt that something exploded in his chest, the soreness and pain made him want to cry.For seven years, he had been fantasizing that Song Juhan would say similar words to him one day, fantasizing that his sacrifice and love would get some affection, even if it was completely unequal, and in the end he knew that he was just drunk.The idiot said that the dream is not the saddest thing, the saddest thing is that he lives in the dream he constructed, thinking that he is the world's number one lover, thinking that his love moves the world, but in the end he finds that he can only lie to himself.

Hearing such words from Song Juhan's ears now, he felt indescribable pain. What he was hurting was the thing he wanted the most, but it came on the day he didn't want it. The greatest regret in the world has never happened. That's it.

Song Juhan had consumed all his trust and hope, and all that was left was that lonely, hopeless, dry love. He might love Song Juhan for the rest of his life, and that had become his instinct, but he was more The high-level self-protection instinct made him never want to be with Song Juhan again.

He can even imagine the scene of "starting again" with Song Juhan, just like the extended version of the past few months of "being together day and night", Song Juhan will repeatedly cheat, cheat, persecute, get married, have children, and live a happy life. And he will fall again, constantly compromising, giving way, committing crimes, and finally returning to the pattern of those seven years. He will be reincarnated in endless pain and despair, and will never recover.

He never wanted to live like that again.

He took a deep breath and said wearily: "If you don't know, I can't answer you. The only thing I can answer you is, I won't go back."

"Why..." Song Juhan's eyes were about to burst, "Are you...are you bewitched by that driver? Are you!"

"No." He Gu stared into his eyes, "It's just that I'm on you, and I don't have any expectations anymore. Let's get together and break up."

"Fuck it, get together and get away!" Song Juhan grabbed He Gu's arm, his handsome and extraordinary face was already distorted, "What do you want, what do you want! Do you want me to beg you? Do you want me to beg you ?!"

"I want to live my life." He Gu said quietly, "I spent the best seven years on you, and now I want to live for myself."

Song Juhan gritted his teeth: "Then what about me? What should I do? You can't make me unable to leave you, and you don't want me."

He Gu smiled wryly: "Song Juhan, you said that you don't know what liking is, so let me tell you. Liking means following you with your eyes anytime and anywhere, afraid that you will be cold or hot, or that you won't be able to eat a good meal. Joy, sadness, what you are sad, I take great pains when I smile for you, I don’t think about food and drink when I am angry with you, and I see you can’t sleep for a few sad nights with others, and I have to pretend not to care.” He Gu said at the end, Eye circles are red, "I have lived this kind of life for seven years, seven years. You ask me what you do, I don't know, I really don't know, and I don't want to know, just like you don't care, and you don't want to know at all, I How have these seven years been?"

Song Juhan looked at He Gu's expression of enduring pain, his heart seemed to be pierced by a sharp knife, and what came out was hot blood, but it couldn't warm his cold body.

Seven years... how did you spend the seven years?

He never thought about it, what he remembered was He Gu's goodness, all kinds of good things, as for He Gu's sadness and sadness, he...

He Gu covered his eyes with his hand, and when he put it down again, his mood had returned to calm: "It's meaningless to tell you this, it's too hypocritical, just like what you said, I did it willingly, and He Gu did it willingly for those seven years. I don’t blame the world, I don’t hate the earth, and I don’t blame you. But now I’m not willing, Song Juhan, if you have any feelings for me, let me go, don’t let me live like that again.”

"How could I let you live like that again." Song Juhan hugged He Gu with all his strength, he was anxious and distressed, his voice trembling, "He Gu...I'm sorry, I don't know, I...I won't treat you like that again , you are really important to me, I don’t want anyone, I just want you, come back, come back.”

He Gu said softly: "You can't do it, you are still young, you haven't played enough, a person like you will never play enough in a lifetime."

"I can do it! They are nothing to me, only you are the most important." Song Juhan tightened his arms, as if he would disappear from his eyes as soon as he relaxed, "I will never look for anyone else, never again Lose your temper, you believe me, why, you continue to like me, I will not let you down again."

He Gu closed his eyes, and slowly but firmly pushed Song Juhan away. He lowered his head and remained silent for two seconds before making a flat voice: "I can't go back."

"Why!" Song Juhan was anxious, "Why are you so stubborn!"

"If I hadn't been stubborn, I wouldn't have liked you for so many years." He Gu said in a hoarse voice, "I believe in death, and I won't look back on what I have decided... Juhan, let's get together and get away."

Song Juhan was so angry that he was about to explode, his fists were clenched and his cheeks were biting so painfully, he jumped out word by word from the gap between his teeth: "No, yes, yes."

"you……"

"I also believe in death, what I want must be mine." Song Juhan pinched He Gu's chin, "I want you to be by my side every day of the rest of your life."

He why glared, full of powerlessness and helplessness.

Song Juhan embraced He Gu into his arms, pressed his head on his shoulder, and said with deep and firm eyes, "If you want to take a vacation, we will spend it here, and we have everything here."

He Gu said in a deep voice, "Are you trying to imprison me on this island?"

"Of course not. I will take you by my side. Wherever I go, you will go. I will never let you leave me again." Song Juhan pressed a soft kiss on He Gu's forehead.

He Gu's eyes were cold.

There are only seven or eight people on this small island, except for He Gu, the others are all serving Song Juhan.

Why can move freely on the island, no one is watching him, because he has nowhere to go, it is said that every week, a helicopter will come to transport things, that is the only way for them to leave, but he knows he can't go, unless Song Juhan agree.

In fact, he didn't go anywhere. After four days on the island, he went to the garden when he woke up, and never stepped out of the villa.

He eats, sleeps, and reads, except that he doesn't like to go out, it's almost like he's on vacation—since Song Juhan asked him to "vacate".

Song Juhan tried his best to talk to He Gu at the beginning, but after he learned his ability to be silent, he also began to become silent, sometimes he just stayed by his side for an entire afternoon, or hugged him forcefully, sleeping in the dark.

Why didn't he play any childish cold war, he just didn't bother to talk to Song Juhan.He knew that Song Juhan couldn't stay on this island all the time, Song Juhan was much busier than him, when Song Juhan couldn't bear to leave, it was the time for him to leave, before that, it was useless for him to toss about anything, it's better to save some energy.

Song Juhan hugged He Gu from behind, grabbed He Gu's hand to cut his nails, and hummed softly in his ear.

He Gu felt like he was cutting a dog's nails, but he didn't bother to resist. He had never succeeded in resisting Song Juhan, so he let him go.

Song Juhan had never served anyone in his life, and cut He Gu's flesh all at once, He Gu shrank in pain, Song Juhan threw away the nail clippers, and put He Gu's bleeding finger into his mouth.

He Gu withdrew his hand, got up and went to the bathroom to rinse.

Song Juhan dawdled for a while, then came over with a band-aid in his hand, and said disappointedly, "I was dazzled just now."

He Gu reached out to get the Band-Aid, but Song Juhan didn't give it to him, but grabbed his hand and helped him stick it on.

He Gu looked at his clumsy appearance, but didn't respond.

Song Juhan pinched his fingers and whispered, "I'm sorry...you also helped me cut my nails before."

"It's nothing." He Gu turned and left the bathroom.

"Why." Song Juhan chased after him, "Maybe I don't know how to do many things, and I don't know how to be nice to people, but I can learn. What you do for me, I'm willing to do for you, isn't that okay? ?”

He Gu paused, didn't look back, just said flatly: "Don't waste your efforts."

Song Juhan suffocated for breath, secretly clenched his fists, and his heart was full of sadness.

Why did he become like this, and the relationship between them became like this.

All of this... was his fault.