The Legend of Nanshan Jun

"Xi'er, are you feeling better today?" Li Zhenrui took my hand and led me into the Hall of Eternal Life.

During these days, due to my illness, I lost a lot of closeness with Li Zhenrui, and even felt a little repulsed intentionally or unintentionally.

Whenever he approached me and wanted to kiss me, I couldn't help but staggered and lowered my head, keeping a distance from him.

At this moment, he took my hand and brought me here, knowing what would happen next, my body wanted to pull away countless times.

I know that I still love Li Zhenrui, but I can no longer accept him.

Even, I hate him.

Whenever I think about what he did to me, I can't help it in pain.

But I can't say anything, I can't do anything, I still have to pretend to be ignorant.

In fact, it is too difficult.

Li Zhenrui gradually lost his patience from being confused at the beginning, just like tonight, no matter how I escaped, I was still brought here by him.

"Xi'er..." He stared at me with fiery eyes, burning desire in his eyes.

I was picked up horizontally by him and placed on the dragon bed.

I raised my head, his body was covered, and the burning kiss fell on my forehead, eyes, nose, cheek, and then my lips.

I closed my eyes, tried my best to endure, and told myself that it would be over after a while.

"Xi'er..." His eyes were full of desire, he called me over and over again, and began to undo my obscene clothes.

He knows my body well, and I can't help trembling every time I pass by.

Rough hands rubbed my soft skin, gradually digging deeper.

However, the moment he touched my body, I woke up instantly, and my whole body fell into an ice cellar.

How many nights of love is in his calculations.

How many times of red su soup, blocked all the fetters between me and him.

"No." I pushed him away violently, which not only frightened him, but also frightened myself.

I hugged my body in some panic and shrank into a corner.

Li Zhenrui was caught off guard for a moment, staring at me with a complicated expression.

"Xi'er, you seem to be a lot colder to me. Tell me, what happened?"

I still bowed my head and wanted to say a thousand words, but I didn't know where to start or how to say it.

I never knew that it was so difficult to talk to him.

"I thought that you would recover after a while, but it seems that I was wrong..."

"If I did something wrong, you tell me, and I can change it."

"But... my patience is limited, and I'm not interested in playing guessing games."

Li Zhenrui's complexion was already very bad, and the last sentence carried a strong sense of warning.

"Xi'er, if you still refuse to tell me the truth, I will send someone to investigate directly. At that time, all those who serve you will be executed."

Li Zhenrui's words finally made me raise my head, and I replied coldly, "If the emperor is not happy, it would be better to execute me, why bother to involve irrelevant people."

Li Zhenrui clenched his fists in anger, "Xie Lingxi...don't go too far."

I sighed in my heart, if I don't explain this matter clearly, I will not be able to feel at ease in this life.

I can't take it anymore, I just want to hear his explanation.

Although what he did was unforgivable, I still stubbornly cling to the last ray of hope.

"I've been having nightmares these days."

"What dream?" He was taken aback, but his tone became much gentler.

"I dreamed of a mist. You took my hand and said that you would take me to a good place. We walked, walked, and walked. When we reached a cliff, there was no way to go. I asked, Zixuan , where are we going? Tell me, you will know when you look down. I looked down, but there was no bottom and nothing. I was very flustered, and when I turned my head to ask, you pushed me down ...Then, I woke up from the dream."

By the time I finished talking about this dream, my face was already full of tears.

I have had this dream many times.

Sometimes I was pushed off the sky, sometimes I was pushed off the city tower, sometimes I was pushed off the bridge, and every time I was pushed off by him behind me, and I woke up with my screams.

"Xi'er, how could you have such a dream." He looked at me in astonishment, his eyes full of puzzlement, "Is this the image in your dream? How could I do something to hurt you?"

He said helplessly, "Dreams are all fake, Xi'er, you are not a three-year-old, how can you take it seriously?"

I lowered my head and kept silent.

Although the dream is fake, the medicine is real. How is this similar to the dream?

He wiped away the tears from my face, kissed my forehead lightly, and promised, "No matter what, I will never put Xi'er in danger."

"It seems that you are really bewildered by astrology and fortune-telling, so you can think about these messy things." He scratched my nose helplessly, trying to make me relax.

But I suddenly raised my head, looked seriously into Li Zhenrui's eyes, and asked, "Zixuan, have you ever done anything wrong to me?"

I look forward to getting real answers from his eyes and mouth, and begging for my forgiveness.

Maybe that can be my relief and hope, tell me to let go of the past, tell me to start over.

He smiled, with deep eyes, and patted my head, "What are you thinking, go to bed early."

Neither admitted nor denied, my heart was half cold.

He didn't admit it because he didn't want to lie to me, and he denied it because he really hurt me.

The person I love the most is plotting against me behind my back, how can I not feel chilled?

The hope that was finally raised was instantly wiped out. I closed my eyes and lay down on the bed again, but turned my back to him.

He seemed to be aware of my resistance again, but this time he surprisingly didn't come to comfort me or lean into me, and I didn't even hear him breathe.

That night he tossed and turned, wondering if he could fall asleep.

This is the first time since we got married, we have different dreams in the same bed.

When he woke up the next day he was gone.

I simply tidied myself up and left the Hall of Eternal Life without having breakfast.

It wasn't until the last moment of my life that I suddenly realized that this was the last time I stayed in the Hall of Eternal Life in this life, and I didn't notice it at the time, nor did I take a last look at it.

The Palace of Eternal Life—the first time I came in a hurry, and the last time I left in a hurry.

In the next few days, Li Zhenrui didn't come to see me again, and I never took the initiative to greet him. I just locked myself in Donghua Pavilion every day and closed the door without seeing outsiders.

The palace was very peaceful, and the only thing that caused an uproar was that several imperial physicians in the Imperial Hospital were convicted of neglecting their duties, and several servants and maidservants were executed in the palace, the specific reason is unknown.

But when Mu Bin was about to be dealt with, I suddenly appeared in the imperial hospital after not going out for many days, and had a long stalemate with the emperor.

The emperor was furious, and the entire harem was in turmoil.

"Xie Lingxi, what is his relationship with you, you want to protect him like this?" Li Zhenrui frowned, looking very displeased.

"Just because he is the only person in this hospital who tells the truth." I replied calmly.

Li Zhenrui was even more displeased, pacing up and down repeatedly, "What if I must make him die?"

I said meaninglessly, "The humble minister will die with him."

"Okay...excellent!" Li Zhenrui laughed back angrily, and said slowly, "I will make him... life... death."

I smiled lightly, "As long as this minister is still alive, no matter what the reason is, he will definitely protect Imperial Physician Mu to the end. Anyone who makes things difficult for him will be against me."

I looked around at all the imperial physicians, servants and concubines who were kneeling on the ground, "Did you all hear clearly?"

Everyone looked at each other in blank dismay, not daring to answer yes or no, the scene was even more embarrassing than before.

At this moment, I am not afraid of Li Zhenrui's majesty at all. If he dares to hurt Mu Bin, I will fight against him until I die.

"Xie Lingxi...I really doted on you in the past, which made you so arrogant." Li Zhenrui took a deep breath, with heartache and disdain in his eyes, "Do you really think I can't leave you?"

"You are not unique, anyone here can replace you... Your self-righteousness should end." Li Zhenrui shook his sleeves and left after finishing the last sentence.

I know I hurt him, but why doesn't his every word hurt me?

The unprecedented sudden pain in my heart almost made me unable to see clearly what was happening in front of my eyes.

Most of the spectators left happily, and the other imperial physicians also shook their heads and sighed.

I helped Mu Bin, who had been punished twenty years ago, and asked softly, "Brother Mu, are you okay? I'm sorry, I caused you to be punished."

Mu Bin pressed my hand and shook his head, "Xiaoxi, you were too impulsive just now, how could you... hey... I hope the emperor won't be really angry with you."

I smiled calmly, "It's okay, I don't care anymore now."

"Can you really not care?" Mu Bin sighed with doubts on his face, "Even if you don't care, how can you survive in this harem without the emperor's favor?"

Mu Bin continued, "The emperor won't really kill me, he was just testing you just now."

I found a table and chair to help Mu Bin sit down. Seeing that he still looked worried, I had to comfort him a few more words and promised that he would be cautious in his words and deeds in the future, so he finally felt relieved.

Back at Donghua Pavilion, I heard that the emperor turned over Shangguan Wenya's sign tonight.

My heart tingled slightly, and it passed.

Since she is an imperial concubine, she should get used to it.

I don't care anymore.

But unexpectedly, on the second day, Shangguan Wen Ya was conferred the title of Lord Xiling by imperial decree, and the canonization ceremony was completed on the same day.

Shangguan Wenya has been in the palace for less than half a year, and now he is ranked fourth, which is much faster than my promotion at that time.

On the third day, Shangguan Wenya's sign was turned over.

I really don't care anymore, but my heart hurts more and more, and I don't know how to relieve the pain buried deep in my heart.

I thought that night would pass peacefully, and I was about to turn off the lights when I suddenly saw Li Zhenrui at the door.

I was stunned, and he also looked complicated.

He stood at the door without taking a step, but kept looking at me without saying a word for a long time.

"Did the emperor go to the wrong place?" I finally couldn't help but speak.

"The matter of Hongsu soup, let it go." Li Zhenrui's eyes were a little tired, as if he was begging for peace with me, "The soup is not only not able to make you pregnant, but it is also very good for your body, and it really won't hurt you. .”

My originally calm state of mind became turbulent after hearing his words. Many questioning words were about to be uttered, but suddenly found that they had lost their meaning, leaving me speechless.

Li Zhenrui didn't show any remorse or apology, it was more like I was making trouble for no reason.

"Xi'er, you are a man, so you don't need to conceive in the first place. What's more, a man needs to take great risks to conceive and give birth. Lord Beichen gave birth that day. If Bai Weng hadn't been there, he would have almost died."

"Your body is weak, and it was originally not suitable for giving birth."

The hands hidden in the sleeves trembled a little, I lowered my head and leaned against the pillar, barely letting myself lose my composure.

Li Zhenrui walked slowly to my side, held my shoulder and said earnestly, "Xi'er, don't be angry."

Seeing that I didn't respond, he lifted my chin affectionately and let out a soft breath, "Huh?"

Feeling the warmth of my neck and shoulders, I shivered and pushed him away, "Don't touch me."

If he said that he knew the truth, it would be bloody, but his explanation at this moment sent me into hell.

Li Zhenrui, don't use these high-sounding hypocritical excuses to deal with me, no matter how stupid I am, I still understand, if you really have me in your heart, why don't you want to share my blood?

You wantonly trampled on my wholehearted trust, but coaxed me with a few words, do you really think I am stupid?

"Get lost!" The more I thought about it, the angrier I became, and I pushed him out of the room.

"Xie Lingxi, have you had enough trouble?" Li Zhenrui obviously lost his patience, "I have tried to persuade you, what else do you want?"

I was so angry that my legs were shaking and I could hardly stand still.

"I want you to go, I don't want to see you again."

"Don't regret it." Li Zhenrui lowered his face.

But I directly closed the door heavily and locked it, and finally collapsed powerlessly on the ground, with tears streaming down my face.

After that, I never saw Li Zhenrui again, I only heard that Lord Xiling is the favorite of the house, singing and singing every night.

And my illness has worsened a lot since that day. I can only read a book to pass the time all day long, but I don't want to go out anymore.

Only Cui Minglang came to see me from time to time as usual.

"Ling Xi, you lost." Cui Minglang dropped his last son, and half of my country has already been in his pocket.

I sighed, "I will lose everything if I am not careful, I admit it."

He put away the chessboard, stood up, his sleeves swayed gently in the breeze, "It's because you don't want to fight, that's why you backed down step by step."

"You and I are not equal, so why should I back down?" I said disapprovingly.

"Since that's the case, why do you look like this now?" His eyes have crossed the chessboard and shot straight at me.

I turned my head and didn't want to look at him again, so I just whispered, "I'm a sick person, and it's normal to be sick and haggard."

"Really?" He smiled lightly, sat down in front of me again and said, "Heart disease needs heart medicine to cure it, and you are just wasting those good medicines."

After hearing his words, I couldn't help laughing and said, "So you came today to seek justice for those good medicines."

"No," he suddenly took my hand, "I'm here to find medicine for you."

I was pulled by him, and I stumbled out of Donghua Pavilion in three steps and two steps.

"No, I don't want to go out." I shook my head, with 1 reluctances in my heart.

But he held my hand tightly and refused to let go, he still dragged me forward, "If you don't come out today, my Donghua Pavilion won't be able to accommodate you anymore—Mr. Nanshan!" Every word was spoken so loudly that no one could ignore a single word.

"Okay, so you are here to chase away guests." I was so impatient that I couldn't refute.

That's right, I have occupied the side hall of Donghua Pavilion for so long, I really have occupied the magpie's nest, and now it is reasonable for the master to chase away guests.

He smiled, and the corners of his lips curved into a nice arc, "You look much better like this."

"Mr. Donghua, are you bullying me that I don't have Nanshan Pavilion?" I made a serious face on purpose, but he smiled more happily and nodded obediently.

This made me quite helpless, he seemed to like to see me angry.

I deserve it too. I burned the Nanshan Pavilion by myself, so I can only send it under the fence.

Li Zhenrui once promised me that he would renovate the Nanshan Pavilion for me, which is obviously bullshit.Now that I am immersed in the gentleness all day long, I am afraid that I have long forgotten it.

Thinking of it this way, there was a trace of anger and unwillingness in the disappointment.

Cui Minglang brought me to the Hanyuan Hall, unexpectedly there was a night banquet here, and when everyone was drinking wine, they saw Cui Minglang and I entered the hall together, and turned their eyes in unison, as if they wanted to shoot us both through.

Even the two on the main seat watched for a long time.

It suddenly occurred to me that today seems to be Laba.

After a long while, someone finally realized what happened, and then there was a patchwork of greetings.

"Mr. Nanshan is polite."

"Mr. Donghua is polite."

I haven't stepped out of Donghua Pavilion for more than three months, and now I suddenly appear in the sight of everyone, and I feel very uncomfortable.But it was obviously too late to turn against Cui Minglang at this moment, and it would be better to settle accounts after going back.

Cui Minglang took my hand and knelt down in the main hall, "I see your majesty, long live your majesty, long live long live."

I was led by him to kneel down to pay my respects, but my voice was less than one-tenth of his.

"Get up." Li Zhenrui on the throne looked indifferent, and his tone was even more indifferent, as if he didn't look at us too much, he put his arms around Lord Xiling and laughed.

My heart skipped a beat when I saw his figure.

I haven't seen him for three months. I thought I would no longer miss him, but I didn't expect to be deceiving myself.

It wasn't until all his attention was focused on Lord Xiling that I finally woke up and told myself that this person had nothing to do with me anymore.

I told myself over and over in my heart, don't look at him again, don't feel sad for him, don't think about him anymore.

After we found two vacant seats and sat down, Cui Minglang filled our glasses with wine, and then, regardless of whether I could drink or not, he lightly touched my cup and drank it down.

I admire his boldness, my eyes widened, full of admiration.

Then I also picked up the cup and brought it to my lips, putting them all in my mouth.

A spiciness stretches from the throat to the stomach, it's really not good...

I seldom drink alcohol, even when I really have to drink, I just take a shallow sip. Now I drink too much, and the spicy taste burns in my throat.

My cheeks were flushed from coughing, and I was in great pain. I also felt that many eyes were looking at me.

Can't help but think, haven't you seen someone who can't drink?

"Ling Xi, are you okay?" Cui Minglang hurriedly patted my back, embarrassed, "If I knew you didn't know how to drink, I wouldn't pour it for you."

"It's okay." I waved my hand boldly.

This wine has a lot of stamina. After just one cup, I can feel the heat from my cheeks to every part of my body.

Tilting his head slightly, out of the corner of his eye, he saw the person on the throne, his slender fingers were holding a small cup, and he was chewing. He gently lifted the small chin of Lord Xiling beside him, and slowly poured the fine wine in the cup. in his mouth.

Lord Xiling was blushing, but also full of affection.

The heart that had finally been warmed up instantly throbbed again, uncomfortable and tight, as if the heart was pinched by someone, and the pain was unbearable.

I really overestimated myself.

I closed my eyes, took the wine bottle on one side, poured another full glass, and drank it down under Cui Minglang's surprised eyes. This time I finally didn't choke on the spicy liquid, but my throat still felt uncomfortable. .

In fact, I can't drink alcohol. Brother Mu has repeatedly told me that I have broken the precept now. If he was at the scene, he would probably be so angry that he would jump up and down.

Thinking of this, he couldn't help but raise the corners of his lips.

After another drink, I seem to be obsessed with this drunken feeling, and I feel much more comfortable looking at everything around me.

"Ling Xi, you're drunk." Cui Minglang wanted to take the wine glass in my hand, but I blocked him, so he had no choice but to take the wine bottle from my table.

I yelled at him with some dissatisfaction, "Qinglang, return my wine."

Cui Minglang didn't listen to them, he just cared about tasting wine.

Seeing that he ignored me, I was so angry that I jumped up and racked my brains to figure out how to get the bottle back from him.

In a flash of inspiration, I took it to heart.

I put down the wine glass in my hand, leaned forward slightly, and turned his face.

The tentacles were warm, white and smooth, but with a suspicious blush.

His eyes widened in surprise at my sudden move.The cup in his hand has not yet been put down, so I can only hold my face.

I smiled and kissed him slowly on the lips.

His eyes widened even wider, and when I let go of him, he didn't react at all, and was stunned on the spot.It took a long time before my face turned red, and I couldn't even say a word when I pointed at me.

I took the opportunity to snatch back my wine bottle and kept laughing, "Minglang, you are so funny." Such a jerky appearance is really funny.

He has always been calm and unsullied, seeing him like this now is really satisfying, and finally he has avenged his revenge just now.

But this little prank caused a huge wave.

"Mr. Nanshan and Mr. Donghua... this... am I right?" Someone rubbed their eyes.

"Mr. Nanshan, what are you doing?" Some people were shocked.

"Is Mr. Nanshan crazy?"

I paid no heed to their comments, what a boring bunch of people.

Just took another drink.

Somewhere the cup was broken, and then the panicked voice of Lord Xiling said, "Your Majesty, are you alright? Come here, clean up quickly."

Out of the corner of his eye, he could see the person on the throne, his hands were covered with blood cut by shards, but his hands were still tightly clenched and refused to let go.

Li Zhenrui stared at me fiercely, with a gloomy expression, and said in a voice of gnashing of teeth, "Mr. Nanshan, if you are drunk, go back, don't be drunk here."

I didn't pay any attention to what he said, just chuckled, stood up a little staggeringly, and took another sip of wine down my throat.

I just felt my face getting hotter and hotter, and everything around me gradually became illusory, as if only I was real.

I held the wine bottle on my left side and the wine cup in my right hand. I swayed my steps lightly and said involuntarily, "If you don't see the water of the Yellow River coming up from the sky, it will rush to the sea and never return."

Cui Minglang pulled me back in surprise, but he couldn't stop me from walking forward.

Maybe I was really drunk, I walked to the center of the hall, but I didn't feel half of it.

"Don't you see Gaotang Mingjing's sad white hair, the morning is like blue silk and the evening is snow."

All the people in the house stopped discussing me and stared at me blankly, the whole Hanyuan Hall was so quiet that only my voice remained.

I smiled sweetly, raised the wine glass and turned around to them, and drank the wine in the glass again.

"You must be happy in life, and don't let the golden bottle face the moon."

"I am born to be useful, and I will come back after all my money is gone." ①

"Mr. Nanshan actually knows the poem I'm writing?" A person in the seat stood up abruptly, with surprise in his eyes.

My eyes lit up, and a clear voice escaped from my mouth, "Brother Taibai's poems are like lingering sounds. This situation makes people unable to help themselves."

Without such a good poem, how can I get through my endless frustration?

Whenever I recite this poem, I feel very good, as if it expresses my heart.

It's a pity that I can't drink alcohol, and I'm just a male concubine trapped in the deep palace.

Such a wanton life is just out of my reach.

He smiled knowingly, "Your Majesty is absurd."

I put my finger between my lips, and booed him, "There is no Mr. Nanshan today, Brother Taibai, don't stick to the custom."

"Okay!" He is also a bold person, he responded very simply, and toasted me from a distance.

I smiled and filled a cup, facing him from the air, "Brother Taibai, please!"

"Okay!" He also drank it excitedly, but the whole pot of wine was poured into his mouth, much more bold than me.

I clapped my hands and cheered, "Brother Taibai's name of Jiuxian is indeed well-deserved."

He laughed, his eyes were so chic that no one would envy him.

While we were chatting happily, we heard Li Zhenrui's cold voice on the throne, "Taibai, if you become unconscious again today, I will make you drink for the rest of your life."

When Taibai heard that there was no wine, as if he wanted his life, he was so shocked that he begged for mercy, "The emperor forgives the crime, I have a sense of proportion today."

Li Zhenrui snorted, "I'm afraid you have sense, but some people don't."

He gave me a cold look, and this unprofessional person is naturally me.

"Your Majesty." Lord Xiling's gentle voice sounded, Lord Xiling tugged on Li Zhenrui's sleeve, and said softly, "Don't be angry, Your Majesty, Mr. Nanshan is drunk."

Li Zhenrui's expression softened a little, he hugged Lord Xiling into his arms again, and squeezed his slender waist.

"Your Majesty, why don't you let Lord Nanshan go back to rest, isn't he in poor health?" Lord Xiling asked cautiously.

"Ya'er is so kind, but he wanted to drink the wine himself, no wonder others." The ruthless voice resounded through the hall, and gradually brought me back to reality when I was drunk.

Looking at their intimate gestures and Li Zhenrui's indifferent words, the warmth around them also gradually cooled down.

"Your Majesty is right, but Mr. Nanshan behaved inappropriately, so let him go back to wake up earlier." Lord Xiling advised gently.

Li Zhenrui nodded and said, "Ya'er is more thoughtful, so let's listen to Ya'er."

"Come here, send Mr. Nanshan back to Donghua Pavilion, if you have nothing to do, you don't have to come out."

Li Zhenrui didn't look at me anymore, but continued to enjoy singing and dancing with Shangguan Wenya in his arms.

I lowered my head weakly, as if my heart was empty.

Suffering, but boundless.

There seemed to be pain in Cui Minglang's eyes, and he knelt down to Li Zhenrui and said, "Your Majesty, forgive me, I am too weak to drink, please leave first."

"Up to you." Li Zhenrui waved his hand indifferently.

With Cui Minglang's support, I wobbled away from Hanyuan Hall.

Note:

① Excerpted from Li Bai's "Will Enter the Wine".Li Bai (701-762), courtesy name Taibai, nicknamed Qinglian Jushi, also known as "The Immortal", was a great Romantic poet in the Tang Dynasty, and was known as the "Poetry Immortal" by later generations.He is bright and generous, loves to drink and write poems, and likes to make friends.