The Handmade Blogger's Guide to Salvation

"Mr. Osamu Dazai, it's really embarrassing for you, you are still so healthy."

Hirotsu Yanagi cooperated with Osamu Dazai again after many years, and his mood was a bit complicated.

Not to mention the Ghost Killing Squad, now let's take a look at how Hong Kong gangsters and Butei, who have faced Dr. Wondertainment head-on, are doing now.

"...Hello, Mr. Hirotsu Yanagi, Mr. Dazai Osamu, welcome to "Q Version Farm""

Osamu Dazai got up from the ground and looked around calmly. The surrounding environment has changed into a cartoon style with bright colors.The blue sky, white clouds, and the Q version of the farm look like a casual game.

"Look, these are amazing, Hirotsu." Osamu Dazai, as if he had never seen the world, was constantly amazed, and reached out to touch the animation-style farm fence, and then unexpectedly found that his hand had become Two-dimensional style.

Is this the legendary dimensionality reduction blow!

Osamu Dazai stretched out his hands to observe himself in disbelief, but stars flashed in his eyes for an instant!

He turned into an anime character!

Osamu Dazai wanted to look for the mirror a little excitedly, but he couldn't find it for a while. After he was in a hurry for a while, he suddenly got lucky and rushed to Guangjin Liulang, hugged his head and started to look at it!

"...you are too close, Dazai!" Hirotsu Yanagi was very awkward, he tried to push away Dazai Osamu's face that was approaching, he pushed it a few times and found that he couldn't push it, only then did he see Dazai Osamu's legs and eight Claws wrapped around him like a fish.

Guangjin Liulang: "..."

There is one thing to say, the last time someone really observed him so carefully was when his parents looked at him through the folds of his face when he was just born.

"Don't move, I'm watching your painting style."

Osamu Dazai frowned and carefully observed Hirotsu Ryuunami's face, but... nothing seemed to be observed.

The face of the old man is more difficult to draw, and there is no style, so Osamu Dazai can't see anything.

...However, fortunately, the old gentleman Hirotsu Yanagi had a mirror in his pocket watch, and he managed to let Osamu Dazai see himself.

To be precise, it is Two-dimensional itself.

In this way, Osamu Dazai finally met the "image of Osamu Dazai" in the eyes of thousands of viewers in front of the screen.

"Oh, it's actually this style."

Unexpectedly by Hirotsu Yanagi, Osamu Dazai's excitement gradually dissipated, he touched his chin, feeling a little regretful.

...Wait, isn't this the most popular face of the male protagonist of female-frequency anime in recent years?And it's already pretty cool!

In the eyes of Hirotsu Yanagi, the three-dimensional Osamu Dazai is indeed a good-looking child, but compared with TV stars, he is still a bit worse. However, after beautifying the anime, Osamu Dazai seems to have opened a level 10 beauty, directly reaching the lover of his dreams level up!

Even with this anime face, Osamu Dazai might really be able to fool a few beautiful ladies into dying with him!

"How should I put it, the more popular the better, and in my imagination, my painting style is not like this, in my imagination..."

Dazai Osamu sighed.

Then--

His eyes widened sharply, his limbs made exaggerated movements, and a rough shadow appeared on his face!

"It's actually like this!"

No, a strange jojo appeared!

And the strange Mu Da Mu Da and Ola Ola also came out as the background BGM!The sudden sound of BGM frightened the chickens in the farm, and they flew out flutteringly, flying over Osamu Dazai's head.

Then with a lift of the tail, a mosaic slid out, leaving a long mark on Osamu Dazai's beige casual suit, and in conjunction with Osamu Dazai's movements...

It can be said to be a famous scene.

However, the loudspeaker on the top of the farm was not affected at all and continued to broadcast the rules of the game.

"...Dragon Boat Festival is here, a group of meat dumplings from the south attacked the farm, trying to snatch the egg yolks for fillings!Invite two players to throw eggs to repel the army of meat dumplings and protect the farm! 』

"Players, please get ready, the Zongzi army will arrive at the battlefield in 5 minutes. 』

As soon as the voice fell, the door of the locked chicken coop and duck house behind Hirotsu Liunang and Dazai Osamu opened automatically, and the Q version of the chicken and duck squatting inside instantly had a small battle helmet on its head, da da da da He came over and started facing the gate of the farm, looking like he was facing a big enemy.

Isn't it like facing a big enemy? This person is here to ask for egg yolk-wait.

OK, something seems wrong?

"Let me tell you, Guangjin Liulang, this game says that rice dumplings need egg yolks, right?"

Dazai Osamu asked Hirotsu Yanagi a little confused, and the latter nodded, indicating that the trumpet was so requested.

"But our weapons are also eggs, and we have to use them to throw them... isn't it?"

After listening to Osamu Dazai's words, Hirotsu Yanagi finally felt that something was wrong.

It's not that the meat bun beats the dog and never comes back!

Osamu Dazai rubbed his chin and smiled, "Maybe this is the original meaning of the game. Judging from the style of painting and the name "Q Version Farm", maybe it's right to want meat buns to beat dogs."

This style of painting is most likely a children's game, so throwing eggs to beat zongzi is probably not to kill the zongzi, but to give them egg yolks.

This makes sense, after all, it's children's play.

At this moment, Osamu Dazai's understanding of animation works is still too superficial, and he doesn't know that there are animations called "Happy Tree Friends" and "Angels in Garter", which are dressed in fairy tale style.

He bent down, took out a duck egg from the egg trough outside the chicken coop and duck house, cracked a hole and took a sip.

As a neon person, he is still quite used to the taste of raw eggs, but this is the first time he has tasted raw duck eggs.

It was salty!There is oil in the egg yolk rustle!And the saltiness is light, just right!

"Guangjin Guangjin, try their eggs quickly!" Osamu Dazai's eyes lit up, and then he tried to tell Guangjin Liulang how delicious the eggs in his hand were, just like you who found delicious food and gave it to your best friend.

But Guangjin Liulang still declined.

"No, thank you." For Guangjin Liulang, there is no hot rice and soy sauce, how can a raw egg be eaten?Guangjin Liulang is not as careless as Dazai Osamu.

Dazai Osamu didn't care that Hirotsu Yanagi didn't pick up his own egg, he cracked open the egg again and began to observe.

"These are... small eyes inside?" Guangjin Liulang approached, and then found that the inside of this duck egg seemed to be different.

The egg yolk is the same as that of ordinary raw duck eggs, there is no difference, but the egg white is different... There are two peas on it, staring at Dazai Osamu for a while, and Hirotsu Yanagi for a while, in a daze.

And kinda cute.

Osamu Dazai felt the same way, so the next second, under Hirotsu Yanagi's surprised gaze, he poured the egg into his mouth again.

...Miscalculation, he usually only eats one such fresh food a day, but today is an exception.

"Wait a minute, didn't you see the eyes on it? You just swallow it like this?" Guangjin Liulang was a little anxious, always feeling that if these things with eyes were swallowed, bad things might happen!

"No problem, it's super fresh!" Osamu Dazai gave Hirotsu Yanagi a thumbs up, "But look...something seems to be coming from the opposite side?"

On the distant horizon, a group of small green triangles stumbled and began to charge at them, waving arms like matches.

I have to say that the stickman's slender arms and legs grow on the fat rice dumplings, which makes people want to steal one and take it home.

"Here we come, the enemy is coming soon."

Facing this kind of alien enemy, Guangjin Liulang did not underestimate the enemy due to his good fighting qualities. Instead, he solemnly took out an egg from the trough, used his special ability "Luo Chun", and launched it!

puff!

This egg hit the meat zongzi who was leading the charge, and in an instant, the 00-shaped eyes of that zongzi turned into xx, and then fell to the street... Although the triangular zongzi looked the same after falling to the street.

Attack works!

Mr. Guangjin has regained his energy. It can be said that this is the first time he has regained his energy after the brutal buttock surgery.

Isn't this the Dragon Boat Festival version of "Plants vs. Zombies"!Simple.

For a moment, the eggs and duck eggs flew together in the air, and the water and the sky were all in one color. The battle seemed quite fierce. After a while, Guangjin Liulang was cleared in front of him.

It's just that... Osamu Dazai seems to be in trouble, and the rice dumplings are about to rush over!

Guangjin Liulang turned his head anxiously, and then saw Dazai Osamu...fishing openly.

He squatted on the ground, cracked open an egg and began to separate the yolk and egg white, and finally succeeded in separating the egg white with peas, and then put it on the ground.

The egg whites wriggled and stood up like a slime!

"Oh, it really is a little monster."

Osamu Dazai stretched out his finger, and nodded the egg white's little head, "I think about how to name the little monster... let's call it the Venice Lake Monster."

The egg white monster... No, it's the squishy lake monster stretching out its transparent head, rubbing against Osamu Dazai's fingers, then turning around and crawling away like a caterpillar.

And at this time, the first batch of zongzi army had already charged in front of him!

Guangjin Liulang began to break out in a cold sweat. At this moment, Osamu Dazai seemed to have no weapon on him, and only an incomplete egg in his hand. How could he defend himself against the enemy this time?

The meat dumplings with teeth and claws are getting closer!

Then, Osamu Dazai stretched out his hand without raising his head, and handed the egg yolk to the rice dumplings.

"Here, take it."

The egg yolk was handed to the dumplings.

Meat Zong: "...?"

In an instant, the movements of the zongzi froze, they were originally full of anger (>-

What's going on, is this a fight or not?

Zongzi tried his best to open his peasy eyes, looked at Osamu Dazai, and then at the egg yolk in his hand, then couldn't help it, and swallowed the egg yolk in one gulp.

In an instant, a burst of golden light emerged from the zongzi, and a monotonous BGM representing triumph came.

It looks very similar to the special effects that evolve when playing Pokémon.

The meat dumpling that got the egg yolk has become a pair of rice dumplings!Isn't this an evolution, and it also adds money.

Shuangpin Zong was very satisfied, he nodded friendly to Osamu Dazai, then waved, took a taxi and left.

Guangjin Liulang was stunned for a moment, as if he suddenly understood the real way to open this kind of game.

"This kind of children's game is all about truth, goodness and beauty." Osamu Dazai skillfully cracked the eggs again, and then separated the egg whites. "It's just a trick to fool children, so let's play with them."

Therefore, in this supposedly intense shooting game, it turned into a joyful cafeteria queuing for meals.

The zongzi lined up in an orderly manner, got the egg yolks, and then took a taxi to leave... There are even zongzi who choose to carpool with multiple zongzi.

until--

Osamu Dazai reached into the trough, but it was empty.

The eggs are all used up.

He turned his head again, looked at the endless string of zongzi lined up in front of him, and swallowed with some difficulty.

Bad, he seems—or think this game is too simple.