throbbing for you

The light and atmosphere were relaxed, but Shi Yi's expression seemed to be about to say something seriously.Fu Sitian's heart sank, but he still responded with a smile: "Okay."

Shi Yi considered the entry point with a gentle voice: "Si Tian, ​​I will transfer my living expenses for this semester to you. From next month, our living expenses will be combined together to bear our living expenses together. What do you think? Sample?"

Like thunder on the ground, Fu Sitian was stunned.She didn't expect that Shi Yi was going to talk about this at all, and many thoughts flashed through her mind. She was happy about Shi Yi's closeness and trust in her, but she was more worried.

She bit her lip, as if joking naturally: "Not good, aren't you afraid that I will abscond with money?"

Shi Yi let out a short laughing sound from her nasal cavity, "I'm not afraid." She looked into Fu Sitian's eyes and said, "I believe in you."

Fu Sitian looked at her, and slowly suppressed his smile.She avoided Shi Yi's eyes, lowered her eyelids and asked, "Why did you suddenly have this thought?"

Shi Yi said: "It wasn't sudden either. Isn't it normal for couples to share some of the living expenses and leave it to one party to take care of them?"

That being said, it is still very rare to use it together during a relationship, especially during a non-cohabitation period, right?

As if seeing Fu Sitian's hesitation, Shi Yi let go of her hand, and his tone became calm: "You don't want to, do you?"

Obviously unhappy.

In a hurry, Fu Sitian quickly grabbed her hand and said, "No, it's not that I don't want to."

Shi Yi frowned, didn't speak, and looked slightly relaxed.

Fu Sitian moved his lips, the words were clearly in his throat, but he couldn't speak them out.Over the years, although the limited living expenses occasionally made her feel embarrassed, and even attracted some sympathetic or pitiful eyes from some classmates, she never thought of hiding her lack of wealth.But for some reason, facing Shi Yi, such self-confession has always been extremely difficult.

Even if he didn't say anything, Shi Yi should have already seen it.

"Shi Yi." With a dry throat, she asked, "How much is your monthly living expenses?"

Shi Yi hardened her heart, and pretended to answer her plainly: "It's not fixed, and my mother's secondary card will be used for large expenses. For the rest, she will save 20 yuan in the card every school year and I will manage it myself." She still kept it down. .In fact, it is [-] yuan per school year, which can be regarded as the financial principal for her.

She knew that this topic would embarrass Fu Sitian to some extent, and she could also see how embarrassing Fu Sitian was now.But they had avoided this topic for too long, and time did not naturally eliminate this problem, but made them more and more uncomfortable.Fu Sitian was under pressure both physically and mentally, and he couldn't digest it mentally either.This is not a long-term solution at all.Her rationality told her that if she wanted to continue walking, it was impossible to avoid this question.She reacted belatedly to Chen Xizhu's reminder.

If there is any reason that she should know when she thinks about it, then the reason is probably related to her.Chen Xizhu said that Fu Sitian didn't work so hard before, so from last year to this year, isn't the biggest change in Fu Sitian's life just falling in love with her?

Then on average, it is at least [-] a month.Fu Sitian's voice became dry: "Shi Yi, do you know how much my monthly living expenses are?"

Shi Yi shook her head: "I don't know." After a pause, she added: "But, that's not important, it doesn't matter how much."

Fu Sitian did not escape.Although it was difficult, she still managed to confess: "Shi Yi, compared to yours, my living expenses are pitifully low. Even if I work hard to work part-time and be with you...you are still at a loss. You don't need it at all." Not to mention that she has to set aside a part to prepare for next year's tuition.

She didn't have the courage to look at Shi Yi's expression, her face was hot and extremely embarrassed.

But Shi Yi said: "There is no such thing as a loss or loss." Fu Sitian was willing to say it, which made her feel relieved while feeling distressed.Really this is the problem.

If you can communicate, at least you have a chance to solve it.

Her tone softened: "Together, only the two of us are enough to say. If it is enough, we can relax a little bit. If it is not enough, you need to work hard and plan a little bit more. Because sometimes I will be short of money. Think about it. We will move out in the future, and these are unavoidable. We are together, you don’t need to be so clear with me, and I don’t want you to be so fussy and alienated.”

It is impossible to have no heartbeat and warmth.Fu Sitian could hear her frankness and sincerity at this moment, she really didn't think it was important, she wasn't pitiful, and she didn't dislike herself.Most of the embarrassment subsided, Fu Sitian mustered up the courage to look at Shi Yi, Shi Yi looked at her quietly, implying encouragement.

Fu Sitian hesitated, unwilling to disappoint Shi Yi's expectations.She tried her best to speak out what was in her heart: "Shi Yi, thank you for thinking that way. But, you don't have to see outside of me, I... can't."

Her voice was soft but firm: "It's not fair to you. I don't want to be dependent on myself, I think it's normal. I hope I can be a presence that makes your life better, not a drag on you the existence of life."

Shi Yi's eyes gradually softened, helpless and appreciative.She admitted that she liked Fu Sitian's tenacity and self-improvement, but this did not contradict her hope that Sitian would not have to care too much about herself.She said: "It has nothing to do with the amount of money. Regardless of whether the money is used together or not, you are already a presence that makes life better for me."

"Si Tian, ​​are you putting too much pressure on yourself?" Shi Yi didn't know if it was arrogant to say that, but it was indeed the most sincere thought in her heart: "What I can get from you is more precious than money There are a lot of things. To me, money is actually the least important thing, at least it is not worth your attention now."

Fu Sitian hesitated to speak.She could understand what Shi Yi meant, but there was still a string that she couldn't relax.She envied Shi Yi's confidence in saying "money is the least important thing", and she also hoped that Shi Yi would never know that when he had no money, he always lacked a sense of confidence and a sense of security.

Seeing her silence, Shi Yi frowned again, and said straightly, "Si Tian, ​​I trust you. What about you? Do you trust me?"

Fu Sitian nodded subconsciously.

Shi Yi emphasized: "If you really believe in me, you not only regard me as the person you like, the object of love, but also the person you can trust, depend on, and want to live with for a long time."

Fu Sitian hesitated a little, but nodded solemnly.Her determination to be with Shi Yi for a long time has never wavered.It's just that she was a little confused about the difference between "people you like" and "people you live with".

Shi Yi lowered her voice: "But you always care about me and are always polite to me, sometimes it makes me feel that this is not the case." She looked into Fu Sitian's eyes, her words were sharp, but her eyes were not aggressive: "I think You seem to have a transparent shell to protect yourself, and I, like everyone else, have never really stepped into it."

Fu Sitian instinctively wanted to deny it, but the moment she opened her mouth, she fell silent when she touched Shi Yi's depressed but honest eyes.She asked herself, she... had an affair with Shi Yi.

She never thought that Shi Yi would be so sensitive.

She couldn't say prevarication words, and she didn't want to use prevarication words to perfuse Shi Yi.Maybe it was the sound of the pattering rain and the dim light that lowered people's vigilance, or maybe it was Shi Yi's proactive frankness and showing weakness that made her too soft-hearted. Expressed the deepest thoughts in her heart: "Shi Yi, I'm sorry, I... I really have reservations. I... I'm actually very scared..." Her eyelashes drooped, her voice seemed to be squeezed out of her throat, faintly Trembling: "I'm afraid that if you trouble you more, ask you more, and get to know you better, you will get bored at a certain moment and suddenly realize that you don't like me that much anymore, or, I'm not the one you like so much."

She unconsciously pinched it on the quilt, pinching it tightly.In this way, she thought that she would never be able to say it.Say it out, afraid that Shi Yi will look down on her and look down on her.The living environment from childhood to adulthood made her understand the fickleness of the human heart and the unconscious evil in human nature.The more the words from the bottom of your heart are known, the easier it will become a sword that stabs you in the future.And being close to someone is like handing over a sword that can pierce your body into the other person's hand. The more you trust him and the greater your expectations, the more you will sharpen the sword. One day, if these swords are pierced into the body, the deeper they penetrate into the bone, the more painful it will be.It's been too long since she trusted someone wholeheartedly, and it's also been too long since she relied on someone wholeheartedly.

But Shi Yi...she clenched her fingers tightly, Shi Yi was different.She has the right to be that different.She insisted and finished speaking: "So sometimes I think, if only I could always be the one you liked at the beginning."

How could she think so?Shi Yi's heart ached so much that he opened his mouth and his voice became a little hoarse: "But my thoughts will change. It's impossible for you to stay the same forever."

Fu Sitian smiled reluctantly, "I know. But a sensible, non-troublesome person, even if he's not likable, he won't be annoying, right?"

Shi Yi's heart seemed to be twisted into a twist.She couldn't see Fu Sitian putting herself in such a humble position.She is obviously a girl who is cherished by him at the top of his heart.

She held Fu Sitian into her arms tightly, with her forehead resting on the top of her hair.

Fu Sitian heard her breathing right next to his ears.It was heavy and clearly audible, just like Shi Yi's resonating sound accompanied by her heartbeat.

"Si Tian, ​​true liking won't change just because of a change." Shi Yi murmured.

"The definition of sensible and not troublesome is always relative. Only people who are not close to each other will use such rigid and simple labels to judge whether they like a person. If my liking for you is only based on this judgment, then I am also not worthy of being called your lover, and I am not worthy of your unreserved acceptance and love for me."

Her breath fell on Fu Sitian's skin, it was very hot, like her warm words and red-hot heart.

Fu Sitian's heart also warmed up, but his throat became even more astringent.She couldn't help asking the question that was always lingering in her heart: "Shi Yi, what do you like about me?" The closer she gets to Shi Yi and the more she likes Shi Yi, the more she feels that she is lackluster.

Shi Yi raised his head and stared at her with deep eyes, but he asked back: "Then what do you like about me? If I ask you to answer with two adjectives."

Fu Sitian frowned slightly, and many words flashed through her mind in an instant, but none of them could completely satisfy her.She was embarrassed: "Two words are not enough."

Shi Yi asked, "How many words are enough?"

Fu Sitian counted those beautiful adjectives in his mind, and chose all he could think of, but he still felt that it was not complete.She moved her throat and realized that Shi Yi was right.Before she really got close, she could still say that she liked Shi Yi's kindness, bravery, justice, and empathy... After getting close, she found that she could find something new about Shi Yi that made her feel happy all the time. What I really like is that even some tempers and shortcomings are so vivid and lovely, which makes people like it.It is not at all a thin adjective that can be summed up.

"No amount is enough," she said.

Shi Yi sighed lightly and gently: "Then I am too."

She didn't quite understand why she always liked to say sticky and shameful things when she fell in love with people in TV dramas and novels.But now she suddenly realized something.If this kind of verbal confession can really add a little happiness and sense of security to Fu Sitian, then she is willing to learn to express a little more.

Moreover, these words are indeed from the heart.But it's a little embarrassing to say.

She said, "I can't describe why. If I had to say it, it might be because you are you."

Fu Sitian looked into her eyes.Shi Yi's eyes are clear and soft, and they are also hot.Like a hot galaxy in the sky.

"So, I'm not someone you need to wear a mask to socialize with. With me, you don't need to have a label. You just need to be Fu Sitian, the most authentic and relaxed self."

"Because no matter what you become, I still like you. It's the you I like."