throbbing for you

The [-]th day of the twelfth lunar month is the anniversary of the death of Grandpa Fu Sitian.In previous years, Fu Sitian had to be extra cautious if he was in his hometown on this day.Because on this day, grandma will be in a particularly irritable mood, and if she is not careful, she may be beaten and scolded.

When he was younger, Fu Sitian didn't quite understand why.Over the years, she had heard many cries from the old man in front of the portrait, and gradually understood why she was grieving—she felt ashamed of her deceased husband.

One is sad that the Fu family is not happy, the two sons only gave birth to daughters, and the Fu family has lost its roots in her hands; the fields.In the past when he was here, their family did not lose to others in everything, but now, they have lost to others in everything.She felt ashamed to see him after death.

Feeling unhappy, she felt even more displeased with Fu Sitian, and venting her anger at her was the easiest thing to do.

She looks too much like her mother—the woman who, in the eyes of the old man, missed her son's life.Besides, Fu Sitian's own existence was an unforgivable mistake to her.

Back then, if Fu Jianze hadn’t met her mother who was educated in elementary school and worked in a bar, she would not have fought with people in the society, been demerited by the school, and cut off her family’s financial resources; Her son will not drop out of school halfway in order to have a child and support the family, ruining his bright future, and finally make one wrong step and one wrong step.In the eyes of the old man, both she and her mother were sinners who ruined her son's life.

After listening too much, Fu Sitian gradually became numb.Sometimes she feels that the elderly are quite pitiful, and when she is beaten, scolded and made things difficult for her, she also feels that she is quite pitiful.Later, she couldn't figure out who was more pitiful, so she didn't think about it.She just wants to grow up hard and well, she comforts herself, when she grows up and has the ability, everything will be fine.

This year is the same as in previous years, the old man prepares the sacrifice, and Fu Sitian helps.When slicing the meat, my hands were so cold that when the knife slipped, the blood from my fingers stained the meat under my hands.Fearing that the old man would find it unlucky and would not care about the pain, Fu Sitian hurriedly carried the meat under the tap to wash it.The blood on the flesh was washed away, but the wound on the finger did not heal, and the blood gushed out again after a little movement, staining the flesh red again.Fu Sitian couldn't help it, so he had to ask the old man for instructions, "Grandma, I got a cut, go out and put a Band-Aid on it first."

The old man was irritated, "Is it so precious? I went to the city to go to university for a few days to learn something. I can't do a little thing well. Look at the time, and you will delay the auspicious time."

Fu Sitian squeezed the bleeding edge of the knife tightly, his throat choked, raised his finger, and continued to cut the meat without saying a word.

After all the sacrifices were placed on the table, Fu Sitian took a breather, dug out the alcohol from his suitcase, sterilized his white and skinned fingers, put a Band-Aid on them, and then hurriedly went to the yard to burn paper money .

After kneeling and offering incense, the old man went outside the courtyard to breathe, waiting for the paper money to be burned.Fu Sitian stood by the iron basin where the paper money was burned, turning the paper money with tongs to make it burn through.

"Are you done?" Fu Sitian heard conversations coming from the door.

The old man replied: "Almost."

"Yo, your eldest granddaughter is back from vacation?"

"It's been a few days since I came back."

"Hey, I'm envious when I look at your granddaughter. She is capable, beautiful, and can read. Look at the one in my house, hey..."

"What's the use of studying for a girl? It's not about getting married. If she can marry half of your granddaughter, I'll be thankful."

The old lady she was talking to was visibly happy, "That's right, girls, it's better to marry well than to read well. How old is the eldest granddaughter? Is it too soon? If I remember correctly, she's 20?"

"You're 21 years old. Sixth Aunt, you need a suitable boy, please pay attention to me."

This is not the first time Fu Sitian has heard such words.She smelled the pungent smell of paper money, and her chest was so heavy that she couldn't breathe.Following the direction of the black smoke, the first thing I saw was the potted aloe plant on the courtyard gate pavilion, and then I saw a narrow sky.

The sky is cloudy and the sun cannot be found.Aloe vera is dry and shriveled, as if its roots are rotten, unable to receive nutrients.

Fu Sitian stared at the aloe, and suddenly felt that he was like this pot of aloe. After leaving for a long time, under the hazy sky of Ningcheng for a long time, he began to lose his strength and was about to wither slowly.

What is Shi Yi doing at this moment?

she does not know.

When she was on vacation and couldn't make calls, Shi Yi often took the initiative to send messages to her and responded promptly. Later, I don't know if it was because he always lagged behind in replying messages, which made Shi Yi lose interest. , Shi Yi's message was less, and the reply speed also slowed down.

Fu Sitian tried to take the initiative to contact Shi Yi more, but WeChat would always automatically log out in the background, and she would always be scolded by her grandma for checking her phone too much, so that sometimes when Shi Yi replied to her messages, she still had to delay replying.

After a few times, Shi Yi went on a trip.Fu Sitian looked at the photos that Shi Yi occasionally shared with her, and saw her riding on a camel, walking in the long yellow sand, looking like a goddess, with a vast world, she was amazed, admired, envied, and also had uneasiness that she didn't want to admit.

Shi Yi's world is so big, her world is so small.She hoped that Shi Yi would always remember herself like herself, is she too clingy and ignorant?

Is this frequency normal now?She couldn't tell.Self-ashamed, worry about gains and losses.

Afraid of delays in logistics, on New Year's Eve 24th, February 2th, she spent most of her savings to place an order in advance and buy a Polaroid mini12, filling in the address next to Shi Yishen University.

After the gift was given out, she was always worried, afraid that Shi Yi would not like it, and even more afraid that Shi Yi already had it.

Frankly speaking, choosing a gift for Shi Yi is not an easy task.She seems to have everything, lacks nothing, and has no particular desire for material things.Fu Sitian couldn't give away things that were too cheap, and Fu Sitian couldn't afford more expensive luxury goods.

The Polaroid was half a month ago when she checked Shiyi's Weibo and found that she had reposted an ad for a lottery to give away a Polaroid, saying: "Make a denominator".She guessed that Shi Yi should want it.

In fact, Shi Yi had it very early.She reposted that Weibo, but because the person under the skin of that Weibo was her friend, and she helped her make up a KPI.

But after receiving this gift, Shi Yi still felt a heavy satisfaction and joy that he had never felt before.In the meantime, mixed with regret and distressed.

This gift is too precious to her.It is not the preciousness of the price, but the preciousness of the mind.Fu Sitian was not well off financially, and she had always noticed it.How difficult it must be for her to afford this camera.When Shi Yi thought about it for a while, his heart felt very uncomfortable.

How could she doubt that such a fool didn't miss herself enough.

Because Fu Sitian always loves her, always makes her wait from full of expectations until her enthusiasm cools down, Shi Yi gradually feels that she seems to be too proactive.Half of it was because Fu Sitian might not be convenient for such frequent contact, and the other half was a little angry, so she deliberately switched to the same rhythm as Fu Sitian.Inexplicably, the news between them has become less and less.

Thinking about it now, Shi Yi doesn't even know how he would do such a naive and hypocritical thing.

She handled it with care and care, and took countless photos of Polaroid and changed many filters before she got a photo that was worthy of the sweetness in her heart.

She sent the photo to Fu Sitian and said, "I received the gift. It's very beautiful. I like it very much. Thank you."

It's rare that Fu Sitian not only replied in seconds, but also said: "Is it convenient for you to answer the phone now?"

Shi Yi didn't reply, and quickly pressed the shortcut key to call Fu Sitian.From the reflection on the glass of the bookcase opposite, she saw her overly bright smiling face.

Fu Sitian quickly picked it up, "Shi Yi..."

Her soft, watery voice completely extinguished Shi Yi's impatience that had been steaming for half a month.

"Yeah." She unconsciously put on a soft tone, "Why is it convenient to make a phone call today?"

Fu Sitian's hanging heart finally settled down in Shi Yi's familiar tenderness.Fu Jiantao and the old man could be vaguely heard from downstairs. Fu Sitian walked to the corner of the roof farthest from the old man's room, and said back to Shiyi, "My sister and the others are back, so I don't have to take care of grandma."

It should be more accurate to say that grandma has no energy to just stare at her alone.She could have a little private time now.

Shi Yi asked, "Is it convenient to make calls after that?"

Fu Sitian laughed, "It's about this time in the evening, it should be fine."

The corners of Shi Yi's lips deepened, making him happy.She deliberately teased Fu Sitian: "You have time, but I may not."

"Ah? Then...then when do you have time?" Fu Sitian's voice sounded lost and pitiful.

Shi Yi couldn't help making a laughing sound.

Fu Sitian was stunned for a second, then he understood. "Shi Yi..." She elongated the end of her voice, subconsciously acting like a spoiled child.

Shi Yi's heart was called soft by her. "At this time in the future, you can call directly."

Fu Sitian happily replied "Yes".

Shi Yi remembered and asked, "Why did you think of giving me a Polaroid?"

Fu Sitian said, "It's Valentine's Day in two days."

Their first Valentine's Day together.Of course Shi Yi knew. "Then why Polaroid?"

"I saw that I retweeted the Weibo that gave away Polaroid by lottery, and thought you might like it..."

Shi Yi was stunned, the softest part of his heart seemed to be hit by something suddenly, it was soft and sore for a moment, he didn't know what to say to her.

Hearing her silence, Fu Sitian felt uneasy: "Did I guess wrong?"

Shi Yi said softly: "No. I like it very much."

Just as Fu Sitian was happy, Shi Yi added: "But, to be honest, I like the wool felt you gave me better last time."

"I love the things you make by hand. Gifts like this are unique."

Fu Sitian was a little disappointed, but he could understand Shi Yi's thoughts.She promised: "Then I will know what to give you next time."

"what?"

Fu Sitian refused to say: "I can't say it now, because if I say it, there will be no surprises."

Shi Yi chuckled, and didn't really want to ask.

The two chatted casually, Fu Sitian's body was extremely cold, but his heart was warm.

Looking up inadvertently, she found that there was no moon and no dark clouds tonight.A plane flashing red lights slowly crossed the night sky, and the stars on both sides twinkled and twinkled, full of lively vitality.

"The stars are so bright tonight." Fu Sitian sighed.

Shi Yi walked to the window, raised his head and looked up at the starry sky with her.

It was pitch black, and there was nothing.

"I can't see it here." Shi Yi said helplessly.

Fu Sitian felt sorry, "Then I'll show you."

The human voice quieted down, and the wind became much louder.Shi Yi guessed that she should be taking pictures.While waiting, she couldn't help sketching in her mind Fu Sitian's possible expressions and postures at this moment, and the more she thought about it, the more empty her mind became.

She suddenly understood her desire.

How about Xing Xing, in fact, she doesn't care.

She wants to see her.

It's Fu Sitian.

26 days.

She misses her so much all the time.I think of her when I watch the sunrise in Saibei, I think of her when I see the wonders of the Gobi, I think of her when I ride a car, and I think of her when I ride a camel.Everything seems to lack a little taste.

I always thought that it would be great if Si Tian was by my side.

"Shi Yi, the phone camera doesn't seem to be able to capture what the naked eye sees." The voice came from the receiver again.

Shi Yi smiled slightly, "It's okay."

She asked: "The day after tomorrow, do you have time to come out and watch with me?"

"come out?"

"Yeah." Shi Yi thought about it and wrote: "My mother will go to Ningcheng on business the day after tomorrow, and take the highway. If you have time, I can go there with her and go back together. Of course, it doesn't matter if you don't."

Like all the stars fell on his head, Fu Sitian was knocked out by the sudden surprise.Without any hesitation, she said, "Yes, I have time!"

She thought, even if grandma disagreed, even if she had to climb over the windows and walls in the middle of the night, she must go there.