throbbing for you

On the first Saturday in early November, Shi Yi and Jian Luhe watched a long-awaited anime movie, and the two spared an evening to go to a cinema near Shenda University to watch the movie together.

After the movie ended, Jian Luhe was still full of ideas, and shared his impressions with Shi Yi all the way. Shi Yi listened, and even if there was no resonance, he would respond to her with a word or two.

On the escalator, Jian Luhe asked: "What do you think the fox demon's words mean at the end? Does it imply that the big boss is not completely dead? Do you think this is paving the way for the next one? I'll see the director before." interviews, it seems like they want to create a series of worlds.”

After waiting for several seconds, Shi Yi ignored her.Jian Luhe turned his head to the side, and found that Shi Yi turned his body halfway, and his eyes clearly fell on the back of the downstairs.

"What are you looking at?" Jian Luhe wondered.

When Shi Yi came back to his senses, he frowned unconsciously, "It's nothing."

She seemed to have seen Fu Sitian and Chen Xizhu.Did they go shopping together?Or come to work part-time?Chen Xizhu bought two cones in front of the dessert stand, and she gave one to Fu Sitian.Fu Sitian took it with a smile.From such a long distance, she could feel the intimate atmosphere of the two of them.

The rare buoyancy disappeared without a trace.

Shi Yi knew that he was becoming more and more unreasonable.She never thought it was wrong for girls to have a good relationship before, but since... ever since she discovered that Fu Sitian could like girls, she felt that something was wrong when Fu Sitian got close to anyone.

However, what does it actually have to do with her?

Jian Luhe dragged her into the video game city on the third floor to play with the dancing machine. Shi Yi chose a fast-paced song, forced himself to concentrate on keeping up with the rhythm, and tried to empty his mind with high-intensity body movements.

They were beautiful and danced well, especially Shi Yi, who had a dignified and cool face, but his dancing movements were unexpectedly relaxed, firm and soft, soft and handsome, and extremely eye-catching.A circle of people slowly gathered around.

Cheers and admiration sounded from time to time, but Shi Yi ignored them.She kept moving, and gradually only the arrows on the screen and the rhythm in her ears remained in her brain.When their eyes met, she naturally looked at Jian Luhe and smiled, feeling like she had found herself.

After two songs, Jian Luhe said: "I'm tired, let's dance to a lighter one at the end, let's play something else."

Shi Yi nodded.

Jian Luhe pointed at the screen and said, "This one, Rabbit Dance."

Shi Yi was slightly taken aback, and his smile faded a lot.The moment the familiar music sounded, she suddenly lost interest, and her legs and feet were as heavy as lead.

She thought of Fu Sitian again.

That day at the ball, when the group danced the rabbit dance, she stood behind Fu Sitian and danced the song with her shoulders on her shoulders.Fu Sitian turned his head to look at her from time to time, his shy and happy smile still seemed to be in front of his eyes.

Shi Yi felt a sense of despair.For the first time in her life, she felt so powerless and unable to control herself.How can I completely erase Fu Sitian from my mind?

Why is her shadow everywhere?Why the fallen world has been straightened, but she is still out of control on the deviated track.

She became less and less afraid to think, more and more afraid to face the answer that came from the bottom of her heart.

Two days later, on Monday afternoon, after Fang Ruohua greeted Shi Yi, she brought big bags and small bags to her apartment where she lived alone to inspect her life and improve her food.She always felt that Shi Yi had lost a lot of weight recently.

When Shi Yi came back from get out of class, Fang Ruohua had been there for a long time. She personally helped her tidy up the house and cooked a table full of her favorite dishes.

In fact, Shi Yi didn't like eating anything recently, but she didn't want to ruin Fang Ruohua's happiness, so she forced herself to eat half a bowl more of rice, pretending to be happy.

After dinner, Shi Yi had an elective class to attend, and thought that Fang Ruohua would go back right away, but Fang Ruohua actually said that she would wait for her to come back and stay here overnight.

Shi Yi was a little surprised, and felt that Fang Ruohua might have something to say to her.

Back in the evening after elective classes, Fang Ruohua was watching a movie in the audio-visual room with the lights off.She sat gracefully on the sofa, the carpet she stepped on was the position where Fu Sitian sat cross-legged when she and Fu Sitian watched a movie together.

Shi Yi hasn't seen a movie here for a long time.She stood at the door with mixed feelings in her heart.

"Are you back?" Fang Ruohua beckoned to her lovingly, "Are there any arrangements? If not, come and sit with us for a while?"

Shi Yi pursed his lips, lowered his long eyelashes, and stepped in as if nothing had happened.

"It's been a long time since we watched a movie together." Fang Ruohua sighed.The two picked a recent word-of-mouth masterpiece and watched it leisurely.

On the projection screen is the light that flickers on and off, and frames of images flicker in Shi Yi's eyes.Shi Yi seemed to be watching seriously, but he didn't seem to see anything.restless.

"One one." Fang Ruohua leaned on the back of the sofa with her forearm, and suddenly said, "I'll clean up your bedroom this afternoon."

Shi Yi looked at her sideways, his dark eyes were as deep as an ancient pool, and he couldn't understand his emotions.

Sometimes Fang Ruohua regrets whether she has raised Shi Yi to be too independent and restrained.Isn't it easier to live happily with a lively and outgoing personality?

"I saw the medicine bottle in your trash can." She said with deliberation, "Have you...haven't been able to sleep well lately?"

When Shi Yi found out the truth about Shi Yuanmian and her marriage after the college entrance examination last year, Shi Yi couldn't fall asleep for a long time, and refused to see a psychologist. Fang Ruohua had no choice but to ask the doctor to prescribe some sleep aids for her.But Shi Yi didn't get medicine through her after school started.On the sidelines, Shi Yi also said that he was fine and didn't need it anymore.How did it start again now?

Shi Yi was silent for two seconds, and lied to her: "Occasionally there will be times when you can't sleep well. Not very often. The medicine was taken last year, and I just finished the last one yesterday."

Fang Ruohua was dubious: "Is that so? Then... why couldn't you sleep yesterday? Are you in a bad mood?"

Shi Yi shook his head, "No. Sometimes insomnia happens by accident, it's okay."

Fang Ruohua looked at her face that had lost a lot of weight, and obviously didn't believe it.

She moved her body, approached Shi Yi, took her hand into her palm, and asked in a slow voice, "Yiyi, are you really all right?"

Shi Yi nodded calmly.

Fang Ruohua could only guess based on her own feelings: "Yes...has he come looking for you again?"

Who "he" is is self-evident.

Shi Yi's heart trembled inexplicably, and he denied it: "No."

"Then... is it broken love?"

Shi Yi's breathing was stagnant for a moment, but he quickly denied it pretending to be natural: "No, don't guess. I'm really fine."

Fang Ruohua had no choice but to sigh, raised her hand to touch her forehead, and warned, "Try not to rely on medicine. If you encounter troubles, you must speak up. Tell me what you find uncomfortable, tell your friends , Anyone you think you can trust is fine. There are many things that will make you feel much more comfortable when you say them out.”

Fang Ruohua was not that kind of gentle character, but as her mother, Shi Yi knew that she had treated him with extreme gentleness.

Her throat was choked, and her heart felt uncomfortable.She is already very sorry for her, and she is afraid that one day, she will be even more sorry for her.

Fang Ruohua persuasively said, "Do you really have anything you want to tell me?"

Shi Yi's eyes became hot, and his psychological defense almost collapsed.

She lowered her head and refused to look at Fang Ruohua, Fang Ruohua didn't force her, but just held her hand and stayed silent with her.

After a long time, Shi Yi suddenly asked her softly: "

Mom, if one day I do something to disappoint you, will you forgive me? "

Fang Ruohua was stunned for a moment, then subconsciously replied: "I believe you are a sensible child..."

The tears hanging in Shi Yi's eyes suddenly gushed out of their sockets and dripped down her chin onto her chest.What if she is not?

Fang Ruohua was frightened and went to wipe her tears in panic.

Shi Yi turned her head and said, "I'm fine." She stood up and wanted to escape from such an embarrassing moment, but Fang Ruohua held her hand tightly, leaned over and hugged her shoulder, coaxing her softly: " Shi Yi, I am your mother, in front of me, what are you worried about?"

Shi Yi was held in her arms, bit his lips and did not speak, only tears fell down.After she became sensible, she only cried once in front of others, and the first time was in front of Shi Yuanmian.This is the second time.

She didn't want to cry.But tears are no longer as obedient as before.Everything is out of control, and she is becoming less and less like herself.

"Shi Yi, with my mother, you will always be just a child. You don't need to pretend or be brave. Even if you are more willful and make more mistakes, it doesn't matter. I am your mother. Even if I will be disappointed in you I can never be really angry with you when I'm here."

Shi Yi's tears fell more and more fiercely.

She didn't know what kind of answer she wanted to get from Fang Ruohua.She didn't know whether she was wronged, afraid, or guilty and desperate.

She hugged Fang Ruohua, weeping and trembling silently, it was the first time she cried so helplessly and vulnerable in front of Fang Ruohua.Fang Ruohua's heart was broken when she cried.

On Wednesday night, the Shenda University Sign Language Exercise Competition was held in the Sinan Great Hall. The participating students from 22 colleges of the school gathered together to compete fiercely.The School of Astronomy stood out and won the crown with the song "The Brightest Heart in the Night Sky". The college also won the honor of No.2.

After the competition was completely over, everyone held their trophies and took pictures in front of the stage of the Sinan Great Hall after the crowd dispersed.Chen Xizhu said that she was waiting for her by the opposite flower bed. After Fu Sitian disbanded, he went down the steps of the auditorium and looked for Chen Xizhu. He caught Shi Yi who was standing directly opposite him unexpectedly.

Shi Yi looked at her without turning his eyes away.

Fu Sitian's heart seemed to be hit by something, and he almost forgot to move.Chen Xizhu called her from the side: "Tian Tian, ​​here."

Fu Sitian dug his fingernails into the palm of his hand, forced himself to turn around as if he hadn't seen Shi Yi, and walked towards Chen Xizhu mechanically.

Chen Xizhu ran to her, took her hand and walked on the common road back to the dormitory.She was overwhelmed by watching the competition, "I thought sign language exercises should be about gesturing and gesticulating hand movements. I didn't expect to be able to make up so many situations. It's so beautiful. The idea of ​​the Astronomy Academy is simply..."

She was eloquently expressing emotion all the way, but Fu Sitian was absent-minded.Her time was still stuck at the moment when she met Shi Yi's gaze just now.

How long has it been since I saw Shi Yi's face so clearly?It's not an illusion from the back, she really lost a lot.The brows are still unapproachable and cold, but apart from that, there seems to be something more.

Are you unhappy?She doesn't bother her anymore, why is she still so unhappy?Did Xia Ke treat her badly and make her unhappy?

Fu Sitian felt a familiar dull pain in her heart, but she had gradually learned to breathe normally in such pain.

It's not very painful, it's just that I can't feel happy doing anything.

Chen Xizhu switched from sign language exercises to other topics, and Fu Sitian tried his best to withdraw his thoughts and keep up with the rhythm of the chat.Such excessive attention and speculation is actually an offense to Shi Yi.

"I suddenly remembered, what happened to the classmate you mentioned earlier?" Chen Xizhu was concerned.

Two weeks ago, Fu Sitian told her about an annoying matter.There is a girl in her class whom she doesn't know very well, Yang Yue, who starts talking to her every now and then.This book is nothing, even if he is not a class psychology committee member, Fu Sitian doesn't mind helping a classmate who needs enlightenment.But the problem is that Yang Yue's psychological problem seems to be a bit serious, and it has gone beyond the scope of ordinary bad mood. In the process of communicating with Fu Sitian, she often reveals that "living is boring" and "will you be happier when you die?" The thought made Fu Sitian tremble with fear.

One time, Fu Sitian specially asked her to have dinner and chat with her, and accidentally discovered that there were shallow scratches one after another on the wrist under the wristband she was wearing.Like a freshly scratched blade.

Alarm bells rang out in Fu Sitian's heart.As a psychological committee member, she has the responsibility and obligation to truthfully give feedback on the psychological conditions of the classmates in the class mental health report submitted every month.But deep down in her heart she was unwilling to do this, she didn't know if what she did was making a small report and betraying Yang Yue's trust in her.

But Yang Yue's situation is indeed very dangerous. If she doesn't report back, she will regret it for the rest of her life if something really happens.

She persuaded Yang Yue to talk to a psychological teacher, but Yang Yue resisted very much.She also tried to contact Yang Yue's parents, but one of the contact numbers was empty, and the other was from Yang Yue's school, so she hung up.

Fu Sitian had nowhere to go and didn't know what to do, so he had no choice but to seek advice from Chen Xizhu.

Chen Xizhu told her very seriously: must report.

She said that in the two terms before they entered school, such a bad thing actually happened in the law school. In order to reduce the impact, the school suppressed the news and hid it tightly.It was also from that session that the colleges not only strengthened the training of psychological committee members, but also set up the positions of psychological weather officers in each dormitory, in order to increase the investigation and prevent the tragedy from happening again.

Fu Sitian hesitated again and again, but finally decided to write Yang Yue's situation into the report and hand it in.

"I reported it." Fu Sitian said sullenly.

Chen Xizhu felt relieved: "It's good to hand it in, the rest is the school's business, and we've settled one thing, so don't worry about it."

Fu Sitian said insincerely: "Yes."

In fact, after handing it in, she didn't really feel at ease for a day.More uncomfortable than before.She was afraid that Yang Yue would find out about this matter and ask her to question her, and she was even more afraid of the unknown results this matter would bring.She didn't know whether her friendship would affect a person's life.

This is a weight she cannot bear.

"Is it really right for me to do this?" After walking a long way, she couldn't help but want to get a little more affirmation from Chen Xizhu.

Chen Xizhu told her for the nth time: "That's right! Anybody would do the same, other than that, there is no better way. You are responsible to her, and you are also responsible to yourself."

Fu Sitian once again got false peace of mind from Chen Xizhu's affirmation.

But this false peace of mind only lasted until the Western Classics class on the third morning, when Yang Yue rushed into the classroom and slapped him hysterically.