throbbing for you

Fu Sitian felt that something was still pouring in his head, and all the sounds seemed to be separated by something, they couldn't hear clearly, but they were indeed ringing.

"What do you mean..." Her voice was so soft that the wind would blow it away.

Fu Jiantao also felt uncomfortable, he understood her disbelief.He has quit smoking for a long time, but these days, he often touches the pocket on his chest where he usually puts cigarettes.

He subconsciously raised his hand to touch the cigarette again, only to touch the empty breast pocket: "She didn't always complain about stomach pains in the past two years, and she hasn't had it in the past two years. It's not easy to have a gastroscopy when she is too old. I took her for a barium meal , the doctor said there was nothing wrong with it, so I took her back and thought it was all right. This time it was not a stroke, the hospital did more checks. I don’t know what to check. There was a lump the size of a fist inside, and they couldn’t tell if it hadn’t come out. But there are a few lumps on the liver side. The bad disease should be almost indistinguishable.”

Fu Sitian was silent as if he didn't exist anymore.She had a very unreal feeling, which made her feel calm and at a loss.

The car advanced about ten meters before she said again: "Can the operation still be done?"

Fu Jiantao seemed to be distracted, and the speed of the car slowed down. He said "Huh?" and the car moved forward for several meters before replying, "The county hospital asked us to take it to the city hospital. They can't help it. I'll leave it to your cousin-in-law." The acquaintance I was looking for, after watching the film, said it was too late, it was all on the liver, at this age, I am afraid that after the operation, I am afraid that it will end up with no money. In your grandma's current situation, whether she will be able to come to the operating table or not, you have to talk about it. "

"Is that the only way?" Fu Sitian's head went blunt.

Fu Jiantao didn't speak.

Ten seconds later, he suddenly stopped the car on the side of the road, his whole body motionless.Amidst the sound of speeding cars, like an auditory hallucination, Fu Sitian heard him say in a hoarse and low voice: "It's because I'm not capable."

His broad shoulders trembled imperceptibly.

Fu Sitian had never heard Fu Jiantao speak in such a voice.His voice was suppressed.

Her nose was sore all of a sudden, and the real pain finally pierced into her body, covering her limbs and bones.She really wanted to say something to comfort him, but he moved quickly again, clutching the handlebar to start the car.

The old motorcycle roared hoarsely, but the wheels did not move.Fu Jiantao had no choice but to step on the ground with one foot and the start lever of the motorcycle with the other, stand up, and kick down hard.Up and down, up and down, again and again, he kicked harder and harder, and the more he kicked, the weaker he kicked, until he was out of breath.

Fu Sitian looked at his clumsy and strenuous back, breathed heavily, and his eyes were red.

"Forget it, let's go over there." He gave up.

Fu Sitian replied: "Okay."

She couldn't say anything else.Words are too pale.

Looking at the bright street lights ahead, she felt as if they had fallen into the edge of the world.In this night, in this world, everyone is colorful, only they are walking in the black and white room where the lights are not bright.

All the way in silence, they arrived at the hospital.In the elevator, Fu Jiantao told her: "Don't tell your grandma about her illness, she can't get excited anymore. Your aunt and I plan to take her film to the city to see it again in two days."

Fu Sitian agreed: "Okay."

She packed up her mood, put on a cute expression, and came to the old man's ward.

The ward is a room for two people, the patient in the other bed is not there, the old man is lying on the bed watching TV, and Wang Meifen is sitting on the folding bed playing with her mobile phone.

Fu Sitian, who Wang Meifen saw first, greeted her: "Hey, you're back, have you eaten yet?"

Fu Sitian replied softly: "Not yet." Then, she looked at the old man and cared as she walked in: "Grandma, how are you?"

The old man looked much thinner, his already high cheekbones were higher, his eye sockets were sunken, and his face became sharper.But her spirits were not bad, her voice was loud, and she looked at her with white eyes: "I thought you would come back to attend the funeral after I died."

Fu Sitian's footsteps paused slightly, and he couldn't speak because of her serious illness. The warmth and love in his heart instantly cooled down because of her serious illness.Emotions fell back to the cold and hard reality.

"Mom!" Fu Jiantao dragged a stool from under the bed to Fu Sitian, and said disapprovingly, "The child is busy with exams, so he will come back as soon as he hears about it."

Fu Sitian clutched his trouser legs with both hands, did not sit down, and did not excuse himself.

The old man looked her up and down, thought of something, and said in a relaxed tone, "Sit down, have you eaten yet?"

Wang Meifen has already asked this question just now.Fu Sitian shook his head lightly again.

The old man didn't really care about her answer either.She followed her own thoughts and continued: "I'm fine. Your uncle said that I'll be fine in a few days and I can go to the ground. It's because my blood is not flowing. Isn't it?" The infusion bag, "It's coming through the blood vessels."

Seeing her ignorant appearance, Fu Sitian felt a little uncomfortable.She pinched her fingertips with her fingernails, and answered her normally: "That's good."

The old man asked: "Listen to what your uncle said, your father will be back soon."

Fu Sitian's blood froze. "Um."

"Hey, at last, my old bones have lasted until this time." She was relieved at first, then took Fu Sitian's hand, patted the back of her hand, and said earnestly: "You are so old, you can read the book now." You know more than anyone else, do you remember all the truths I told you before?"

Fu Sitian's fingernails dug deep into his palm, and he tried his best not to withdraw his hand from the old man's hand.Even though it was so hot and dry, Fu Sitian felt as if he was being pressed down by a cold, slippery snake that was spitting out a letter.

She responded perfunctorily, "Yes."

The old man went on self-consciously: "Your father has suffered for most of his life, and now that he is out, it can be regarded as the end of all hardships. When he comes out, you will also graduate, and the father and daughter can live a good life. You young people are busy and have to work hard. You Work hard, find a good job, recruit a good partner, and give birth to a big fat boy in the future, and it happens that he will take care of the children for your husband and wife, and you will be happy and relaxed, and he will also enjoy some blessings, right."

Fu Sitian wanted to refute something, looked at the needles on the back of her hand, endured it again, and nodded absent-mindedly.

She vaguely heard Wang Meifen ask Fu Jiantao on the balcony, "Did you say that?"

Fu Jiantao said, "No."

Wang Meifen scolded him: "It's useless at all."

Fu Sitian was distracted, what were they talking about...

The old man was still chattering, talking up and down about Fu Jianze's hardships these years, and wanted Fu Sitian to be filial to her in the future, and asked her to find a reliable and filial partner who would not dislike her father.Talking, talking, she urged her to get married, saying that she had been introduced to several people and asked her to find some time to visit.

Fu Sitian took deep breaths repeatedly, pushing back, trying to let his left ear go in and out of his right ear.

Just when Fu Sitian couldn't sit still, Wang Meifen came in: "Mom, Tiantian hasn't had dinner yet. It's getting late, I'll take her back to have some food first, and bring her over tomorrow. You can see it." ?"

The old man frowned, as if he hadn't said anything, and was a little reluctant. "Then you come over later and take care of your uncle's shift at night. Your uncle is such a big man, I feel bad for him just looking at that bed."

Fu Sitian was already numb, nodded, said nothing, and went downstairs with Wang Meifen.

Wang Meifen borrowed an electric car and drove her back, asking casual questions about her life along the way.

Fu Sitian said that it was okay, that he was graduating soon, and that he could find an internship next semester.

Wang Meifen asked casually: "The boy who looked for you during the Chinese New Year before, is he still walking?"

Fu Sitian froze for a moment, and suddenly became alert.That boy never existed, but she knew who Wang Meifen was asking.She bit her lip and said unnaturally, "No."

Wang Meifen said "oh", she didn't know if she believed it or not, but she didn't say anything else.

Back at the old man's house, Fu Sitian asked Wang Meifen to rest, and she could just order a bowl of noodles by herself, but Wang Meifen didn't agree, and made her a rare supper, and sat down to eat with her.

Fu Sitian knew, she must have something to say to herself.She took small bites of the noodles, unable to taste anything.

Finally, Wang Meifen spoke: "Tiantian, Auntie has something to discuss with you."

Fu Sitian stopped his chopsticks and looked at her: "Auntie, tell me."

Wang Meifen didn't look at her, her eyes fell on her rice bowl: "Your uncle told you about your grandma on the road."

"Ah."

"Her current situation is very troublesome. Let's not talk about whether she needs surgery. The doctor said that even if she recovers from the stroke, she can only walk a few steps on crutches and can't take care of herself. Someone must take care of her." gone."

"Your uncle and I also know that there is no way for us to stay by her side. In the past few days, I have endured the boss's scolding. If I don't go back, I don't have to go back. Your uncle It’s impossible. Xiaoyu is still in college, so he won’t work anymore, and our family drinks northwest wind.”

"Auntie, I understand, it's not easy for you." Fu Sitian lowered his head and said softly.

Wang Meifen sighed, took her hand, and patted it twice: "It's best if you understand. So I discussed with your uncle to hire a nanny for her, five thousand a month. The money is divided equally between our two families." .”

Fu Sitian's hand trembled unconsciously.

Wang Meifen held down her hand, stared at her sideways and said: "Aunt and uncle don't take advantage of you, mother, both your uncle and your father have a share. Aunty knows that it is not easy for you. If we have the ability, We'll take it all on, it's okay. But look at me and your uncle, there's nothing we can do about it."

The chopsticks made deep dents on Fu Sitian's knuckles.She said, "Auntie, I know."

Wang Meifen couldn't hear her emotions, so she hardened her heart and continued, "Your grandma also has some private money, but this time the doctor spent a lot of money. I think your uncle still wants to operate on her, and I don't know about the treatment later. How much does it cost. Uncle and aunt also know that you are still a student and there is no other way, so we don’t rush you. She pays the money from her own house first. If it’s not enough, your uncle and I will borrow it first, and you can make an IOU. , Wait until you get paid, and then pay it back, do you think so?"

Can I not agree?Can't.They really didn't take advantage of her either.As a descendant, it should be.

Fu Sitian heard himself agree: "Okay."

She also heard that something seemed to be broken in her heart.

When Wang Meifen heard that she agreed, her brows were filled with joy, relieved, she patted her hands several times, and murmured: "Good boy, good boy..."

She wished she could get a pen and paper for Fu Sitian to set up a written statement right away, but seeing Fu Sitian's dazed look, she felt that it was too much, so she restrained herself and said to her: "Oh, look at me, eat quickly, the noodles are too much." It's going to cool down."

Fu Sitian forced a smile, lowered his head and sucked his face.

Wang Meifen had nothing to say: "Your father is coming out soon, so it's fine to do something casually. The days will pass and get better."

Fu Sitian didn't respond.Mouth full of bitterness.

Will it be okay?She thought of the raised belts, hideous faces, forbearable cries, the pungent smell of potion, and the spittle that others spit on her in her childhood...

I can't eat anymore.

She put down the chopsticks and washed the dishes off by herself.

Wang Meifen told her not to go to the hospital, she just went to replace Fu Jiantao.Fu Sitian didn't accept her affection, saying that she would go back to school on Sunday, and they had to worry about the rest, and the hospital should be left to her for these two days, it should be.

Wang Meifen felt comfortable hearing it, and felt that she still understood the ways of the world, so let her go.

She drove back to the hospital with the small electric car borrowed by Wang Meifen.

Fu Jiantao looked at her several times, but hesitated to speak.Fu Sitian smiled at him, took an apple, and wanted to peel it for him and the old man, but his hand slipped, and the fruit knife cut his finger, and the knife was covered with blood.

The old man scolded her: "Oh, clumsy, can't do anything..."

Fu Jiantao dragged her to the nurse's station.

She kept saying, "No, it's fine." But Fu Jiantao couldn't help her, and stubbornly dragged her to the nurse's station.

When putting on the Band-Aid, he asked, "Did your aunt tell you something?" Before Fu Sitian could answer, he continued, "No matter what she says, it doesn't count. Don't think too much about it. Me, you can read your book at ease, it has nothing to do with you."

How could it be okay.She knew that he was not the one who could really make decisions.She also knows that he is also very hard.She didn't speak, but looked up at him with very gentle eyes, and shook her head: "It's okay. Give me some time, I can do it."

Not long after returning to the ward, Fu Jiantao was driven back by the old man.

After serving the old man to go to the toilet once, the people in the same ward turned off the lights and went to sleep, and the ward was plunged into darkness.

The old man didn't know if he was short of breath, and he grunted strangely, neighing like a monster lurking in the dark.

Fu Sitian stared at the darkness, unable to fall asleep.She wondered if she had entered another bizarre dream.And very clearly know that this is not a dream.

Dreams and waking up.

Her reality, her life, her nightmare, but she can't seem to struggle out.

Shi Yi sent a text message asking her how things were going.

She read a few short words for a long time.

She typed word by word: "Fortunately, I'm still in the hospital. I'll go back and talk to you on Sunday."

Shi Yi said: "Okay. Pay attention to rest. Good night."

Fu Sitian said: "Okay, close the doors and windows. Good night. The interview went well."

Shi Yi rarely sent a [kiss] emoji.

Fu Sitian stared at this expression, stared at the words on Shi Yi, scrolled down the chat history bit by bit, bit by bit, turned to the time when they first met.

Vision is getting blurry.

Tears rolled down.She bit the tiger's mouth, unable to whimper.

From the moment she agreed to Wang Meifen, she has been asking herself repeatedly.

Is there any hope for her life?

Is it too selfish to pursue Shi Yi by chance from the beginning?

Would it be better for her to break up with Shi Yi?

She was so unwilling to think about it, and wanted to have a future with Shi Yi so much.However, she finally had to think so.