throbbing for you

The sky was as black as splashing ink, as if no more light could penetrate, and the heavy rain "cracked" on the balcony with the wind, splashing dense water.

The students who were leaving school in the aisle hid in a panic. Shi Yi was almost stepped on by someone who retreated while holding the phone in a daze. Step forward.

Only then did Shi Yi come back to his senses, looked up at the pouring rain under the sky, and said in a low voice, "It suddenly fell so heavily."

Fu Sitian continued: "Yeah, I thought it wouldn't go down anymore. I don't know if it will be smaller after a while."

Shi Yi gave a absent-minded "hmm".

Fu Sitian observed her drooping eyebrows, her tightly pursed thin lips, and asked cautiously, "What's wrong? Auntie... did you say anything?"

Shi Yi suppressed his uneasiness, restrained his mind, and turned his head to look at Fu Sitian: "She asked me to go there at night, as if there is something important."

"But it's raining so hard..." Fu Sitian worried.

"It's okay, it might stop in a while." Shi Yi said normally, "Let's eat at the noodle shop in front of the community in a while. I'll go there early and come back early."

Of course Fu Sitian had no objection.In fact, she had some drums in her heart, this is not Friday, and tomorrow is not a holiday, how could Fang Ruohua suddenly ask Shi Yi to come over.But just after a false alarm from the counselor, she would rather convince herself that she was too frightened and thought too much.

She didn't know, when she was riding the electric bike back on the road, Shi Yi put his arms around her waist, with his cheek against her back, and when she couldn't see, his eyes sank and sank into the bottom of the sea.

On the phone, Fang Ruohua didn't actually say anything, but Shi Yi and her had a tacit understanding after being mother and daughter for 20 years.

"Shi Yi, do you have class tonight? If you don't have class, come over and let's chat." She called her full name.

Fang Ruohua hasn't called her by her full name for a long time.When she was young, every time Fang Ruohua wanted to educate her when she did something wrong, she would always say this: "Shi Yi, let's talk after dinner."

Every time she said it, her tone was not harsh, but these words still became Shi Yi's childhood curse.She knew from a very young age that the relationship between her parents was not good, the family was crumbling, and it was not easy to maintain it.So after becoming sensible, she has been trying to restrain herself to become a worry-free and trouble-free child, wanting to contribute to maintaining the family, and wanting to give Fang Ruohua more joy and comfort.The tiredness and disappointment that Fang Ruohua occasionally revealed when she said this sentence always made her feel uneasy and sad.

Almost as a conditioned reflex, Shi Yi had the illusion that he had done something wrong for a moment.

what is itZhang Lu Road?The school called to move the parents again?Or is she finally going to open up and talk to her about her and Si Tian?

Shi Yi's intuition is the latter.

Fang Ruohua taught her to distinguish between right and wrong when she was young. Even if it was for her to protect herself, Fang Ruohua couldn't think that it was a wrong thing for her to help Zhang Lulu and criticize herself for it.

Shi Yi prepared for the worst.

She also really thought that she was ready, after all, Fang Ruohua had tested her more than once, and there was almost only a layer of window paper separating them.But when the car really drove into Xiang's villa, she just got off the car and stepped on the ground, and she really had to face it. She suddenly found that if she could, she actually wanted to sit here like this until the end of the day. Forever.

It turned out that she was not as brave as she thought.

She didn't know why, she obviously felt that she had done nothing wrong, but for no reason, she felt guilty, scared, and ashamed.

The phone screen lit up, and a message notification pop-up window showed that it was Fu Sitian who asked her, "Are you here?" followed by a smiling face.

Shi Yi stared at him, closed his eyelashes and sighed lightly, his dark eyes gradually cleared up, revealing firmness.She picked up her mobile phone and replied her two words, "Here we are." Then, without giving herself any time to hesitate, she opened the door and got out of the car.

It has been raining for a long time, and the midsummer night is actually a bit chilly.Shi Yi touched his arm, straightened his back, walked around the garage, walked across the lawn, and walked into the brightly lit villa.

In the hall of the villa, as soon as sister Jiajia saw her, she wobbled and ran towards her.Not long after she was learning to walk, Shi Yi was afraid that she would fall, so he took two quick steps and squatted down｜he body caught her.

The little man ran into her arms, "giggled" happily, called "Sister" in a vaguely milky voice, and buried himself on her body, refusing to get up.

Shi Yi picked her up, looked at Xiang Ye who was watching them not far away, and greeted him: "Uncle."

Xiang Ye said with a smile: "This ghost is tricking someone into hugging her again. Have you eaten yet?"

"I've eaten." Shi Yi walked in with Jiajia in his arms, his eyes fell on the stairs, and he asked, "My mother is upstairs?"

Xiang Ye's gaze followed her upwards, "Well, she's waiting for you in the study." After a pause, he lowered his gaze and asked Shi Yi in a low voice: "What's the matter with you? I don't think she's in a good mood recently. "

Shi Yi frowned, shook his head and didn't answer, just handed Jiajia to him and said, "Then I'll go up and have a look."

She put her hands on her chest, where was hung a necklace that Fu Sitian gave her on their first anniversary, and she walked up step by step until the door of the study.She was silent at the door for two seconds, raised her hand and knocked on the door: "Mom, it's me."

Fang Ruohua answered slowly, "Come in."

Shi Yi pushed the door open and entered, and saw Fang Ruohua wearing a long skirt sitting on the sofa beside the desk, closing the booklet on his lap, putting it on the coffee table, and looking up at her.

Shi Yi noticed that what she was looking at just now was the album that stored her photos from childhood to adulthood.She forced herself to calmly walk to the single sofa beside Fang Ruohua and sit down, neither dodging nor hiding, and responded to Fang Ruohua's gaze.

Fang Ruohua's face was pale, and she looked at her with complicated and deep eyes, as if she wanted to get to know this child raised by her again.

Shi Yi's back was stiff, his throat was stuck, and he tried to move his lips, but then fell silent again, letting her look at her with downcast eyes.

After several seconds, Fang Ruohua asked, "Have you eaten yet?"

Shi Yi nodded: "Eat."

"Your counselor called me and told me about your actions on the Internet, so I can persuade you." Fang Ruohua poured a small cup of tea and pushed it in front of Shi Yi.

Shi Yi looked at her, resting his fingers on the teacup, not in the mood to drink at all, and waited tensely for her next words.

Fang Ruohua also poured himself a glass, and said as he poured, "I've heard about that incident for the past two days, but I didn't expect you to be involved. It's okay to help your classmates, just keep a good sense of proportion and protect yourself. I don't care. interfere with you."

Shi Yi didn't relax at all, and said dryly, "Thank you, Mom."

Fang Ruohua stroked the cup with his hands, neither drinking tea nor answering her.The air became inexplicably quiet, and Shi Yi had the illusion that their mutual breathing became clearly audible.

It seems to be dyed with emotions, low and low.

Finally, Fang Ruohua spoke again in a low voice: "But, he told me another thing. I think it is necessary to talk to you."

She raised her eyes, looked straight into Shi Yi's eyes, and asked, "He asked me to pay attention, you had a close relationship with a girl in school, and your classmates said, you...are gay." The more she spoke, the louder her voice became. Light, like unbelievable, but also like implicit expectations, hoping that Shi Yi can give her a negative answer, "Is it true?"

Shi Yi finally lost the courage to look at her, and hurriedly avoided his eyes, unable to respond with a "yes", let alone a "no".

It was as if his throat was suddenly strangled, even the breathing of the trachea became difficult, and the eye sockets became sore.

She would rather Fang Ruohua scold and accuse her in a tougher manner than face her with such an attitude of unwillingness to believe and self-deceived expectations.

"I'm sorry." She said with difficulty.

Fang Ruohua looked at her for a moment, the fingertips touching the teacup turned white with force, and the light in her eyes completely dimmed.

"Is it Fu Sitian?" she asked.

Shi Yi admitted: "Yes."

Fang Ruohua held the teacup with her five fingers, and the rim of the cup followed her skin and penetrated deeply into her palm. The tea snaked along her palm and passed her wrist, wet, like blood flowing from her heart .

Ever since she first found Fu Sitian's photo on the bedside of Shi Yi's bedroom during the summer vacation, she had been building herself up psychologically for a long time, but until this moment, she realized that she was still too sad, too sad.She knows that parents should understand that children are independent individuals from birth, and parents should not place too much expectations and demands on them.However, she has been thinking about Shi Yi and for Shi Yi for half her life, and until this moment, she is still thinking about her. Shi Yi clearly knows what kind of pain she is suffering and what kind of hope she came here to make such a choice , To accept such a love, have you ever considered her feelings at all?

"You let me down so much." There was uncontrollable choking in her voice.

In an instant, Shi Yi's tears, which he had been holding back from the beginning, fell, and his heart was cut like a knife.This "disappointment" is too heavy.In the whole world, she is obviously the person who most wishes to make Fang Ruohua happy.She obviously worked so hard for so long.But she still let her down.

She gritted her teeth, apologized again in a hoarse voice: "I'm sorry...I'm sorry Mom, I'm sorry..."

Fang Ruohua turned her head and didn't want to look at her. Tears were streaming down, and she raised her hand to wipe them quickly.

Shi Yi looked at her, bit his lip, and silently followed with tears streaming down his face.

After a few seconds, Fang Ruohua took a deep breath, as if she had calmed down a bit, turned around and ordered her: "Break up with her."

Shi Yi's back became straighter in an instant, his eye circles were red, and his misty eyes were full of guilt, but he still shook his head firmly: "I'm sorry, Mom, I can't do it."

"I'm sorry, I can't do it", this sentence again, Shi Yuanmian also said this sentence to her, while saying this sorry to her, while hurting her and disgusting her, she half-lived in a scene In a nightmare I can't wake up from.

Fang Ruohua's temples twitched, and the five fingers holding the teacup became more and more vigorous. His chest was so tight that it hurt, and he could barely restrain his urge to get angry.It shouldn't, it can't, it can't be angry, and it can't be selfish.

"Shi Yi, I didn't know you were such an unprofessional child before. Do you really know what you are doing now and what you will face in the future?"

Shi Yi sniffed, tried to calm himself down, and tried to convince Fang Ruohua with a more mature attitude: "Mom, I know. I tried to refuse, but I couldn't. I'm really...really I like her. I didn't stay with her impulsively, but after careful consideration, I wanted to be with her for the rest of my life."

"How old are you now, do you know how long a person's life is, how many people you will meet in your life, and how many possibilities are there? You don't have to be her, why don't you give yourself one more chance to choose."

"Then why can't we give her the same opportunity. It's hard to meet someone you like, isn't it? Instead of hoping for a possibility that doesn't exist, it's better to cherish the present, isn't it? Mom, you taught More than me, people must know how to be content."

Fang Ruohua said word by word in a deep voice: "I also taught you to know when you are lost and to stop when you are lost. Shi Yi, don't use what I said to refute me."

Shi Yi choked his throat and said in a low voice, "I'm sorry."

"Shi Yi, life is a stage. In this world, there is no hurdle that you can't get over, or someone you can't live without. Choosing a suitable partner can make your life much easier and happier in the future. I don't want you to waste The time is on the wrong person. It's too late to get out."

"She's not the wrong person. I chose her and I'm happy now."

"That's because you haven't graduated yet, and you haven't really come into contact with the society. Don't talk about how many gossips you two girls have to face when you are together, just talk about whether two people live together and whether they can be happy, it's not just about two people. It was decided, and there are two families involved behind it. How much do you know about her? Is the she you know the real her?"

Shi Yi opened his lips to retort, but suddenly realized, he asked in astonishment, "What do you mean?"

Fang Ruohua frowned and said, "Do you know that her current parents are not her biological parents, but her uncle and aunt, and her biological father is a murderer?"

"Have you investigated her?" Shi Yi's expression darkened instantly.

Fang Ruohua did not deny it.

Shi Yi's heart aches all of a sudden, for both the present Fu Sitian and the past Fu Sitian.She is so beautiful and works so hard, but why doesn't the past let her go.How long will these pasts drag her down. "Mom, you're going too far, you're invading privacy." Her rare opponent, Ruohua, shouted loudly.

Fang Ruohua's eyes also turned cold, chilled by her attitude.

"If possible, I also hope that I don't have to do such a thing."

Shi Yi realized that his attitude was not good, so he tried his best to suppress it, and said in a calm tone, "Mom, I know all of this. I chose her because I knew it."

Fang Ruohua was stunned, and then sighed even more wearily: "Shi Yi, do you think you can be the savior?"

Shi Yi said, "I'm not, and she doesn't need it either..."

"Whether she needs it or not is not up to you. Shi Yi, you are too naive. Is it because I have protected you so well that I have raised you so unsophisticated?"

"Having a childlike heart is not a bad thing."

"So you have to go your own way?"

Shi Yi was silent, and said the same sentence: "I'm sorry..."

Fang Ruohua put down the cup in her hand, her palms were numb with pain.She raised her hand to support her forehead, and quickly put it down again, with her nails pricking a sad hole, she stabilized her voice and said, "Shi Yi, you're old enough to have your own ideas, I can't convince you. "

"But, I'm your mother, and I can't do nothing, just watch you go all the way to the dark."

"Since none of us can convince anyone, let's go."

Shi Yi looked at Fang Ruohua in disbelief, his breath disappeared, he moved his lips, but couldn't make a sound.

Mom, this is, don't you want her?

Fang Ruohua's eyes fell on the photo album, and she stopped looking at her: "Three years, I will give you three years, and you will give me three years. For these three years, we will not contact each other."

"Three years later, if you are still together and you bring her back, I wish you well."