sleeping formula

【15】

Because it is close to Hijikata's residence, the two agreed to put the book there first, and then discuss how to move the book to Shinsengumi's office another day.

Because of retirement, Hijikata's parents left their Roppongi home to their only son, Hijikata, and moved to a quiet suburb near Tokyo.Turn on the lights, let alone those elegant looking furniture, the clean and tidy environment makes Yin Shi, who lives like a pig's nest every day, feel ashamed.

"Sit down, do you want something to drink?"

"It's okay, don't bother you, I'll take a break and leave."

The words to each other were kept as short as possible, and the uneasiness that the two had been ignoring continued to blare in the air, barking their teeth and claws into a deafening silence.They were not wrestling or playing chess, but no one wanted to be the first to initiate a quarrel straight to the point.The earth side can endure temper longer than silver time, and it will always be the impatient people who surrender first.

"If you have anything you want to ask, just ask." Gintoki sighed for the first time.

"Are you really Sakata Ginpachi's younger brother...?"

"...Yes, I am. I remembered it when I went back to my hometown one day." Gintoki said.

"I see." Hijikata didn't look at Yinshi, "Then in your eyes... what kind of brother is he?"

Yinshi raised his head, thinking that he had heard something wrong.He was originally waiting for a scolding or a question from the earth side, and then he would explain to the earth side, or quarrel with the earth side-but what he waited for was a gentle and curious question.Yinshi only felt that the quality of this sentence seemed light, but it was extremely heavy, which was an unbearable lightness of life.

"A very annoying brother... right?" Gintoki replied in a daze, "Is that kind of stubborn and self-righteous guy the most annoying?"

"Haha, that's right, I agree." When Hijikata handed his mobile phone to Yin, "Otherwise, there wouldn't be the kind of bastard who would only leave one sentence and say "goodbye", right?"

Yin Shi took the phone.In the seventeenth century, Descartes came up with a romantic confession like "r=a(1-sinθ)", which may have become a code word between him and his lover because few people understood rectangular coordinates at the time.Today, Cartesian coordinates are no longer a secret, but the person who wants to write down this formula as a farewell message may not be a romantic, but he must be a gentle and reserved person.Looking at the newsletter, time seems to go back to seven years ago, or even longer.This text message, just a few letters, seems to carry the past that Hijikata and his brother have built together. Every point on the "heart line" is a paragraph of memory-Gintoki watched these passing by, No matter how much he hates what Ginpachi has done to him and his family, he cannot and cannot deny that Ginpachi once had sincere love for Hijikata.

How to write the word "suffering" is deeply embedded in Yinshi's dictionary.

"Gintoki, I used to think that it was no big deal to get you involved in this world. I just wanted to use you to find Ginhachi's whereabouts faster." Hijikata said, "But now I feel that I seem to be wrong, and it's so wrong. It is my own desire to obtain the truth, but it is not only me who bears it, but the Shinsengumi who is affected by the desire, and even you who originally lived a peaceful life.”

He looked at Tufang, with complex emotions in his eyes.He had an idea of ​​wanting to hug the other party, and only reason was left to hold on to the last bit.

"Silver, will you hate me?"

Yin Shi didn't say another word.Earth Fang is only a shoulder away from his arm, which is the distance that he can wrap his arms in his arms.Hijikata was taken aback by Yinshi's actions, but after realizing it, he didn't struggle violently, and just let Yinshi hold him quietly.

"Hijikata, no one hates a friend." Gintoki said, "No matter how cruel the world is, as long as you know that you have a friend by your side, all difficulties can be overcome, right?"

The hug got tighter.

"Ginpachi is my brother and your lover. We will find the truth together, because we are friends who share weal and woe." Gintoki continued, "So, promise me, no matter what kind of truth we finally know, For Shinsengumi, for yourself, for me, and for Ginpachi, we all have to keep going."

Tufang gently hugged Yinshi back, and buried his head in Yinshi's shoulder socket, so Yinshi's shoulders were silently wet with two marks.

"Would you like to stay today?"

Tufang's nasal voice was as thin as the chirping of mosquitoes.Yinshi did not say yes or no to the earth's question, but only expressed his unconditional support for any decision of the earth with his actions.

That night, Yinshi wanted to sleep in another room, or simply sleep on the sofa, but was pulled by Tufang to sleep on the same bed together.Tufang leaned on Yinshi's chest, and fell asleep peacefully, but Yinshi hadn't really fallen asleep at that time.It was only then that he discovered that the lonely and powerful Shinsengumi "Deputy Chief of Oni" in the rumors of the investigation office was a person who was extremely afraid of loneliness after disarming his entire body.

Gintoki had to say──Maybe, originally he chose to bear all the pressure because he was afraid that Hijikata's collapse would cause the Shinsengumi to fall into chaos.However, after this night, Yinshi dared to swear that he must take good care of this person in his arms, clarify the truth, and finally let the other person have a happy ending.

Yinshi hadn't figured out what this ending would be, but he only knew it must be happy.

【? 】

who I am?Where do I come from?Where am I going?

I have two memories and two personalities at the same time, but I know that I am not mentally abnormal, but just the result of different experiences before and after amnesia.

However, mere memory is not enough to tear me apart.What really tore me apart were two wildly different kinds of experiments: one I called a mania for science;

That person, called this hug "love".

I can no longer fall asleep easily at night, terrified of dreams that might overwhelm me, because with the past, I lose the future.

Why is my life like this?