Continuously

When the sound of Lin Shuchen's leather shoes stopped behind him, Jian Qi was lying on the coffee table and drawing on a cigar, and one was burning on the edge of the table.

He picked up one outside the box and looked at it. On the brown wrapper was a slanted axe.

"I remember," Lin Shuchen said, "you would have painted me roses two years earlier."

"The ax is easy to draw." Jian Qi's pen tip didn't stop.

Lin Shuchen sighed, sniffed the cigar, put it aside, squatted down, and lightly placed his palm on Jianchi's shoulder: "Have you seen those photos?"

no answer.

"When?"

Still not.

Lin Shuchen took away the fountain pen he was holding tightly, leaving a long handwriting in Jian Qi's palm.

"Answer." Lin Shuchen said, "Or ask questions, whatever you say, don't ignore Dad."

Jian Chi rubbed the black line repeatedly, overlapping with his palm lines, until it was gradually blurred by sweat, Jian Chi opened his mouth.

"They're younger than me."

"Nothing."

"Someone else pinned them to the ground..."

"Hush—" Lin Shuchen squeezed his shoulder, "Don't be afraid, don't be afraid."

"You take a picture of me too!" Jian Qi knelt on the ground and suddenly screamed, "You asked me to pose like that, I can't make the expression you want..."

"My good boy." Lin Shuchen rubbed his back repeatedly, "You are different from them, you are special."

Jian Chi shakes his head uncomfortably in his chest.

Why didn't he say no in the first place?

When he stood in front of the camera, terrified like a prey, Lin Shuchen placed his hands and feet patiently, like a siren seducing a sailor.

Why didn't he say no?

"Honey, I think you can undo two buttons."

On the day after his 7th birthday.

"I'm a little cold."

"Then I can turn up the heat a little bit higher."

The sound of the wind was indeed getting louder, shining on Jianchi's face like sunshine, he unfastened two buttons along his breastbone, and asked, "Is it all right?"

The shutter rang several times, followed by Lin Shuchen's voice, as gentle as ever, even more: "You are too nervous, baby."

Seeing Qi let go of the hands wrapped in front of him, he only dared to lower his head and look at him as if he had made a mistake.

"You know, you are prettier than your mother." Lin Shuchen stepped forward and handed over the camera, "Do you want to see the photo?"

Jian Qi hurriedly turned his eyes away: "Just look at it, Dad."

Lin Shuchen smiled, and gently swept the dust on his shoulders, which were very obvious under the light: "Actually, we can do more, the two of us."

Jian Qi followed Lin Shuchen's arm and looked at him.

"Are you willing?" Lin Shuchen lowered his waist and met his eyes, "For me."

It turned out to be this sentence.

When a child is superstitious about absolute love, he cannot refuse the wish of the person he loves, that is, the person who loves him.

When he believes that Lin Shuchen also loves him, he will give himself in return.

Lin Shuchen recognized the permission in the silence, he sighed contentedly, and held Jian Qi in his arms: "I will make you the most beautiful work of art."

He did what he said.

He began to adorn him, day after day, with blue feather crowns of primitive tribes, with Persian embroidered robes, with crescent-white tulle... He used paint on his face, exaggerated patterns and textures, and sometimes painted His whole body, his painter friend accompanied him to sigh, admiration for a masterpiece, he wanted to share the complexity of the world on Jianxi, at the moment when he was dazzled, he thought of this flesh and blood There was also a part of him, born out of him, that felt a resonant tremor.

How could it be so late, so late that he discovered that his child is a wonderful container, where his ideals, intoxication and ecstasy can all be placed.

Jian Chi doesn't know anything, he always looks away innocently and wearily, his hands and feet are tightly held by his rope, even that kind of ignorance is beautiful.

It was an incredible time.

More and more people appreciated him and praised him. They said, can I see this angel too?

He brought Jian Qi in front of everyone, let his works be admired by everyone's eyes, and then, he was surprised to find that it was the desire in the eyes that even he couldn't get it.

Logically, stories should be like this, and so should art. He kept things simple, and held up a tapestry in front of Jianxi. It had Spanish-style patterns on it. Although it was in line with his inspiration and very familiar, he forgot to put it in front of him. Where did you buy it.

"Do you want to wrap this?" Jian Qi asked him.

"Just wrap this."

The scene before Jian Qi's eyes shook, as if being pulled down by the blanket and into the ground: "I, I don't understand."

Lin Shuchen helped him take off his jacket and trousers, and when he held up his ankles, he found that he was much thinner than expected, but he continued, "That's it, cover it up a little."

The blanket was stuck to Jianchi's skin, and there were invisible balls growing on it, as if they were gnawing at him.

"But... I want to wear clothes." Jian Qi shrank under the blanket, rubbing the clothes on the ground with his feet.

Lin Shuchen picked them up and threw them away.

His shadow was projected on Jian Qi's pupils: "Baby, don't let Dad down."

Disappointment is like two weights hitting his heart, then, should he take back his promise and love, Jian Qi thought, take back his examining attention and gaze, and treat himself like a discarded item.

In this case, I will starve myself, I will silently count the last few seconds of my birthday, and I will have nothing.

"I don't want to..." Jian Qi lowered his eyelids, "let you down."

The unspoken part is a symbol of acquiescence that Lin Shuchen is familiar with.

The silence ignited his frenzy, he hugged Jian Qi and turned around, and said softly: "I knew it."

Now he began to discard the chaff, close the curtains, and let the day turn into the deepest night. He is like a conductor manipulating his music in the ups and downs.

The carrier of that music is Jian Qi.

He showed him "Sleeping Venus", "Danae" and "Girl with a Flower Basket"... He said that since ancient Greece, nakedness has been a sought-after beauty, and now he has turned him into Black-and-white images are more timeless canvases, "how fortunate" he said, "we will not be excluded by beauty."

So I wore shorter and shorter clothes, and in front of the unimaginable set, my back was bent into an unbearable arc, why, but also my hips?You messed up my hair, the berries from my necklace dangled on my chest, my skin warmed it up, you filled my eyes with eye drops and it came out.Going diagonally, you say, akimbo, straightened.I tripped over the cushion and you caught the moment.The light source is covered with a sheet, softer, and it wears more than I do.You light the candle, let me carry it, hey, this is my birthday candle from last year, it smells of cream, the old one has new tears.

And you say, my baby.