Continuously

The ash from the night before the Havana cigars remained in the metal bowl, and the neighbor's Schubert ditty drifted in through the shutters, swirling in the morning light.

When the quilt was lifted, the first thing that was revealed was the complaining and whimpering of a hungry stomach, and then him.

This is Jian Qi's second time waking up from hunger this month.

He got out of bed, put on one slipper, and accidentally kicked the other to the bottom of the bed. Until the real daytime, Jian Qi didn't dare to climb under the bed board, so he had to touch the tile with his right toe, and the raised lines on the ground were cold. He took a breath of cold air and jumped outside quickly.

The wooden door creaked, and the light in the living room shone obliquely on the green bed sheet, which bulged slightly, and the strong smell of alcohol spread over the face, Jian Qi wiped his nose, and gave up the idea of ​​waking Yu Wan up.

When he arrived in the kitchen, the pot and stove were cold, and the light in the refrigerator was broken. He touched the whole wheat bread in the middle layer. He ate it yesterday, and it tasted too sour. A carton of milk, sugar-free, tasted like water.There was a bowl of muesli, but unfortunately the microwave was hanging on the wall and out of his reach.

Jian Chi moved a small stool and stepped on it, turned on the natural gas stove, and the blue simmering fire circled in the night, Jian Chi poured the porridge into the pot, scooped out the rest with a spoon, and watched the flames while waiting.

He made a wish.

Instead of going to Southern California for the winter, he hopes to see a pair of less drunk parents tomorrow for his 5th birthday.

Oh, it's today.

Yu Wan refuses to admit that she is getting old.

She wears brighter and more revealing clothes than when she was young, with makeup printed on her face, parties, drinking, and dancing samba. She uses these to confront anxiety, but anxiety is always unavoidable in some special moments.

For example, Jian Qi's birthday.

"I'm sorry, dear." Yu Wan hugged her son on her lap. He is 6 years old, and he is still very young, so her legs won't go numb. "I see Copenhagen time as New York."

"It doesn't matter." Jian Qi whispered, "I'm used to it."

"God, are you angry?" Yu Wan arched into his neck, making him laugh, "Don't lose your temper, your father will come back tomorrow night to make up your birthday for you."

"Father?" Jian Qi rolled his eyes, "Isn't he often outside, he really wants to come back?"

"Of course." Yu Wan helped him cut his hair. "You guys will go on a trip together, a little south, to Stone Mountain or something else, and maybe he will show you his damn darkroom."

Yao Jianqi listened for a while and asked, "Aren't you going together?"

"Me? Of course not."

"Are you fighting again?"

"We don't quarrel anymore." Yu Wan said, "When a couple doesn't even bother to quarrel..."

Yu Wan stopped talking in time.

"You said that you used to love him very much." Jian Qi said, "Why can't people always love someone?"

Yu Wan smiled, and kissed him on the cheek sentimentally and tenderly: "Have fun, honey."

"Honey, imagine how you feel about me."

"Oh, how can I say this. It's like you wake up from a good night's sleep, drink freshly ground coffee, go to the company to work hard for a day, and complete a project that has been delayed for a long time. It is not as difficult as you thought. You can complete it well. It’s not bad, it feels like a once-in-a-lifetime satisfaction. You leave work 10 to [-] minutes earlier than usual, there are still vacant seats on the subway, you avoid the smell of sweat under your armpits, and you even smell the strange fragrance of seasonal flowers. You are on the road While buying the most commonly eaten oil muffins, double servings, and low-sugar soda. You hum an unnamed song, the lyrics are like moonlight, go upstairs, go upstairs, and then, you find a dead mouse at the door .”

Seeing that Qi couldn't catch what the protagonist said next in the DVD, Lin Shuchen interrupted the plot with a loud laugh.

"Isn't it funny, baby?" Lin Shuchen held him on his lap, head to head with him.

Yu Wan's face was frozen on the screen, even though it was behind the two protagonists, it was still the only light in this gloomy room. To some extent, their family was reunited in a rare way.

"Did your mother tell you how we met?" Lin Shuchen asked.

"Theatre." Yao Jianqi replied.

"Exactly!" Lin Shuchen shook him happily, and turned his gaze to the TV, "When she walked from the stage to my seat, put her hand on my shoulder, and spit out the lines to my eyelashes, I knew , she did it on purpose."

"She picked you."

"We chose each other." Lin Shuchen said in a reminiscent tone, "Your mother's beauty is amazing. I can't imagine how soulless a lens that doesn't focus on her is."

After hearing this, Yao Jianqi didn't ask any questions.He has learned to keep silent in the face of incomprehension.

"Seven years," Lin Shuchen said, "love has died hundreds of times, and all that remains is...shit."

Yao Jianqi climbed down from his lap.

"I'm sorry, baby." Lin Shuchen hugged him again, "I shouldn't have said something depressing on your birthday, come and see the candles I bought, 1, 2...exactly 7!"

The yogurt cake is huge, and Lin Shuchen has never been stingy in this regard. He said, "Let's blow out the candles together."

He forgot the steps of making a wish.

But it doesn't matter, Jian Qi didn't stop him, because he also forgot his own wish.

"I don't want to spend my birthday alone with my dad anymore."

Yu Wan was arranging her maroon curly hair in front of the mirror. After hearing this sentence, she asked, "Why?"

The other end was silent, she walked up to Jian Xi, and waved the plain crepe satin scarf that she had taken off in front of him.

"I admit that he is sometimes neurotic. After all, he is a photographer who happens to be out of talent." Yu Wan shrugged.

Sometimes he looks at me like a photograph.

"But he's not bad to you, at least not to me."

I'm scared of what he hasn't done to me yet.

"Although we are separated, we are still your parents and have our own ways of loving you." Yu Wan touched the top of his head, "Isn't it, Jian Qi?"

So let's call it love.

Jian Qi lowered his head.