Continuously

Later, it snowed in the city.

Yao Jianqi has never seen such a mirage, the world is made of onyx and cotton, the roof is covered with things like spring flakes, the chimneys are like gun-white throats pointing to the sky, and the footprints on the ground are like migrating young ants , the rolling muddy river is diluted by zero degrees.

Pushing open the window, the sky came in towards him.

Yao Jianqi folded his sleeves to let the wind lick him, and his arms looked like plants suffering from chlorosis, because they couldn't carry out photosynthesis, so they were like a line of white sick lines.

"Yao An, look."

He said it alone.

Like every day since that day, his words were arrows that fell to the ground with no target or hiding place.

"Brother, why?" He kept asking, "What did I do wrong? Wait for me, please, don't bother me so quickly, please?"

And Yao An just shook his head.

Later he was also angry: "Didn't you promise not to give up on me? If you like me, you will be ashamed like that? Have you even taken the initiative to tell anyone about us? Have you?"

"You're a coward."

This time Yao An finally didn't shake his head, he just left.

This snow paralyzed the order, the school was closed, Yao Jianqi sat in front of the window all day long, using correction fluid to draw snow on the kraft paper, but what he did was still in a daze, similar to solar blindness.

Jiang Cong came to him several times to help him choose an agent and prepare visa materials.

"Teacher, do you still remember that I was in this place one year." Yao Jianqi asked out of the way, "Ask me what I saw?"

Jiang Cong waited gently for him to speak.

"Actually, I said 'shore'." Yao Jianqi tugged at the corner of his mouth briefly, "But I can't see it now."

On the last day after the heavy snowfall, Yao An received a call from Yao Jianqi.

He said to Yao An: "You either come to see me now, or you will never see me in this lifetime."

He didn't know why he had the confidence. In fact, he didn't have it. The so-called trump card became a piece of paper after Yao An broke up with him.

But Yao An still came.

They met in the snow, in the center of the widest plain was white that had not yet been hoofed, and they stood like two facing buttons on a shirt.

"Isn't it beautiful?" Yao Jianqi asked sincerely.

Yao An looked at him, his eyes were stung by the white snow, and said, "It's beautiful."

"Actually, I have learned from the past." Yao Jianqi's voice was absorbed by solid crystals, "We first met, from the summer when you chose to stay at grandma's house, and at the latest when you pushed me away last time, I should be responsible for this One day to prepare."

"People are so lucky. I'm too self-righteous. I think you love me enough. It seems to be true. But why is it always my turn to say goodbye?"

"You know, I've always been optimistic that on the day when I can't hide it, at least I can stand up instead of kneeling and declare that I love you."

Yao Jianqi stretched out his hand, Yao An thought he was going to touch him, so he closed his eyes.

But Yao Jianqi just used his index finger to catch a snowflake that almost fell on his lips, and said, "Yao An, time flies, doesn't it?"

Yao An vainly envied that snowflake and restrained his wrist.

"I'm finally done." Yao Jianqi said with a smile.

Entering is painful.

The logical caressing and cushioning were omitted, and the whispering and soft words were all given up. The harsh frost and snow bit into Yao An's neck, rolling down to the groin like a white pomegranate seed.

Yao Jianqi's thumb touched the ice, and it melted into Yao An's pancreas in the scorching heat.

The gauze curtain bulged out of the window, revealing a vaguely human-shaped silhouette. Yao An grasped it vigorously, but the touch of velvet only stopped in his palm for a moment. Yao Jianqi grasped his hand and said when he clasped it: "Open."

Yao An's pulse was throbbing, and he stretched out his aching legs on the window sill with all his might and connivance, but he received a sigh that was comparable to a murmur.

Yao Jianqi traced his fingertips along the line of his lips, telling him that it was here.

He loosened his teeth as if forgiven, moaning turned into breathing, the blood on his lower lip was licked off, and then exchanged, Yao Jianqi buried him deeply, with a tenderness that was completely contrary to his behavior.

Yao An maintained his endangered balance, and said hastily, "It's so cold."

Behind him is the cold wave of the night field, opening its huge mouth to swallow him every time he leans back sharply, waiting for him to fall.

But in front of him is the gentleness who has long since disappeared from him, but makes him escape every time he is possessed by arrogance.

The temperature that never stopped dropping after midnight was ignored by Yao Jianqi all the time, and the torture seemed to be the beginning and end of this physical pleasure, but at this moment, he felt the torture from Yao An's frozen red little finger.

"You open your eyes."

Yao An didn't know when he abandoned his vision, maybe it was when Yao Jianqi peeled him off, maybe Yao Jianqi held him on the window sill like a hostage, maybe it was in the snow, he promised his birthday present, gave up the initiative, And that's a guilt.

The footsteps of thoughts are always longer than time. Before the brain gave the order, Yao Jianqi had already withdrawn from him, so the emptiness that was faster and more sinister than expected followed.

Yao An snatched his fingers, and the moment he opened his eyes, what he looked at was a face that was too beautiful and devastated by love.

The moment he shed tears, Yao An finally knew that there was no guilt, no concession, no unforgivable or insincere words.

There is nothing but love in it.

In April, pig-tooth flowers bloom, and in May and June, it rains on the branches.

In July, Yao Jianqi's grades did not disappoint anyone. He successfully applied to the language school, passed the interview, and handed over the visa.

August is the month of geese. After getting the temporary visa, I took a plane to France.

Yu Wan just put a corner of the bed sheet on, and stopped when she heard footsteps approaching the door.

Yao An stood outside the door all the time, looked around the room, there was a faint dust in the air, the oil painting wrapped in sulfuric acid paper stood against the light, the socket was unplugged, and the one-way calendar stopped at today.

"Before he left, he seemed to go around your house." Yu Wan said.

Yao An digested word by word, and spit out word by word: "Did he say anything?"

Yu Wan shook her head, leaned over and covered the last corner of the bed, completely sealing the time in this room.

Pink Panther smiled and watched him search the bedroom on the second floor. Yao An stood there, finding nothing.

He was sure that Yao Jianqi had been here before, otherwise the surrounding air would not be so warm, sweet and hardworking, even though it was short, even though it was being lost.

Other than that, Yao Jianqi didn't leave anything else behind.

But something must have been taken away by him, Yao An thought, maybe a part of myself.

As soon as the body stopped, the brain started to turn. In order not to overload the memory, Yao An took the detergent from the toilet and sprayed it on the curtains, and used a disposable toothbrush to wipe off the pencil marks that Yao Jianqi had accidentally scratched on it, tidying up the closet. Put back those clothes that have confused their owners for a long time, clean the desk, and take out two concentric locks bought in the ancient city, and the silver skin has become dull and rusty to the naked eye, and the handwriting has turned black. Poor joke.

Yao An walked out of the house, Yao Xinping called him but he really didn’t hear him, wandering aimlessly under the noon sun, river embankment, studio, skating rink, shopping mall, station… he replaced the places they visited together Walking away, his back was drenched and his neck was tanned, he passed bus stops one by one, and stopped at a restaurant near Yao Jianqi's school when the sun was burning out, where they faced each other carelessly for the last few days laugh.

Black Panther's "No Place to Face" was playing on the street corner, the second half of it turned out to be "Don't care about a lot and don't be sad, one day you will leave me", the excess air-conditioning whipped into the skin when the door was pushed open, there were few customers, Yao An went straight He sat down in front of the table flag from last time, and the waiter came over. He casually swiped on the menu bar, and the waiter left.

The loose-leaf guest book is like an open face, and the leisure time of flipping through it has long since disappeared, but he seems to be drawn to stretch out his hand, starting from the end where there are only a few empty papers left.

One page, two pages... Turning this page, he finally stopped in spring.

"Yao An:

I want to grant my most urgent wish.

I want to turn into a hail flower in the snow, and it will melt when it touches your lips.

If it's too difficult, let you make all the good dreams and mine all the bad dreams. "

And how long the hot summer is, and how short the late spring is, when a man took off his peaked cap in the corner and buried his head in the heart of the cap, no one heard his broken voice.