The Lord's Guide to How to Train Your Dragon

The snow is coming, the sun is shining, the white-capped mountains look dry and silent in the distance, but tender green buds have emerged on the jagged branches.

Zhou Wei drove a hover car across a small stream that had just melted ice and snow, and vaguely saw a few lines of pale paw prints left on the thin snow beside the stream, and couldn't help but raise the corners of his mouth slightly—golden snub-nosed monkeys would not come to this area at this time of year , it seems that the environment in Baolongyu is getting better and better.

"The inspection of Area T has been completed. I'm going home, over." Percy's voice came from the communicator.The smile on the corner of Zhou Wei's mouth widened: "The p zone will end soon, I'll be home in an hour, over."

"Make afternoon tea and wait for you, over."

It has been almost a year since they returned to Earth. Last summer, Percy formally applied to be a breeder at the Baolongyu Wildlife Conservation Center. As Zhou Wei's intern, he toured the forest with him.

The feeling of the two of them working together is surprisingly good, tacit understanding, and warmth. Often, a thought flashes through Zhou Wei's mind. Percy has already done everything. At the end of the year, they were even appointed by the district chief as "the district's annual model." ", in recognition of the incredible cooperation between the two of them in their work.

Sharing weal and woe, sympathy, heart-to-heart bond, empathy... Zhou Wei thinks it’s not an exaggeration to use all the similar words in the dictionary to them, but it’s a pity that they always seem to be a step away from lovers, and it’s been so long However, it is still impossible to sublimate this unspeakable tacit understanding into a natural love.

More than AUO, less than lovers, the most delicate thing in the world is this.

Fortunately, Zhou Wei is not a entangled person, and because he is too busy with work, he has been chaotic for more than half a year. Up to now, he has never felt like them, a man who stays together day and night, sleeps on the same bed, eats a bowl and still maintains purity. There is something wrong with relationships.

The suspension car floated over the last mountain depression, and the dormitory was [-] kilometers away. Zhou Wei turned on the autopilot, called up the log panel and began to fill in the inspection records. The snow was a little messy, and it seemed that some large beast had been there, so I hurriedly maneuvered the car to land and check.

Messy footprints, broken branches and grass blades... The heavy snow in the early morning covered most of the traces, which brought great difficulties to identification. Zhou Wei observed the meadow for a long time, took photos and samples, and then started the hover vehicle to fly to the dormitory again. go.

"Spring is here, everything is revived, and it's mating season again...Let me look to the distant Australian grasslands, where the male kangaroos are showing their unique charm..." The dormitory is as warm as spring, Percy Wearing a tank top and shorts, he was lying on the sofa watching the natural channel, and his two long legs were arrogantly raised on the coffee table.In the holographic projection, a famous host is eloquently explaining the love action movie of grassland creatures: "The male kangaroo showed love to the female kangaroo in his own unique way...it succeeded...the female kangaroo finally accepted his courtship... …the cock of the male kangaroo firmly enters the oo of the female kangaroo, and they throb happily… Soon after, the new little life is about to be born…”

The romantic music sounded, gradually drowning out the passionate cries of the kangaroos. Zhou Wei was changing shoes and taking off his clothes in the hallway. He didn't know whether it was because the room was too hot or the music was too loud. From the lower part of the thalamus to the tip of the ears, it burned even the face after a while.

"Are you back?" Percy greeted him lazily. "There is milk tea in the pot. I haven't warmed up the dessert. Let's eat it cold. It's too hot."

"Aren't you going to turn down the heat?" Zhou Wei was in a panic all over. The vest he just put on felt a little damp. He opened the temperature control panel to lower the temperature. When he saw that the display was only [-] degrees, he couldn't help but doubt the machine. Broken, "The temperature is not high, why does it feel so hot?"

"Spring is the mating season, everywhere is filled with fiery restlessness, and the Great Qinling Mountains is no exception. The male animals living here can feel the breath of spring..." The host answered Percy's question seamlessly , just right.

Zhou Wei just rolled up the vest to his armpit to cool off, and then let down another black thread to cover his waist exuding the breath of spring.Percy also seemed a little agitated by the commentary. He moved restlessly on the sofa, and when he lifted his butt, the steam was overflowing. Unwillingly, he squirmed away and let out a dissatisfied moan.

There are three male animals living in the palm-sized dormitory, and it does seem a bit cramped in this season when peacocks open their tails.

"Just turn off the heat." Percy simply took off his vest, stood up shirtless, and went to the kitchen to pour milk tea for snacks. "Whether milk tea is hot or cold?"

"Let's make it hot, spring cover autumn cold." Zhou Wei was annoyed by the host's shameless commentary, turned off the holographic projection, and played a calm Guzheng music.Percy poured him a cup of hot milk tea with two pieces of mung bean cake: "Clear the fire, I feel that your body temperature has been a little high recently, didn't you still get angry two days ago? Did the boil on your neck go away?"

"No, there seems to be more." Zhou Wei frowned and rubbed his neck. Two weeks ago, he started to develop small pimples inexplicably behind his ears. After applying medicine, it didn't work. Recently, it has spread to his collarbone, like pimples.God knows he didn't have pimples when he was young, why is he still flirting when he is old.

"Let's go to the hospital for a weekend vacation." Percy rubbed the back of his neck with his hands, and touched the left and right with his slender fingers. He couldn't figure out why, but Zhou Wei felt goosebumps all over his body, "It doesn't hurt." It doesn’t itch, maybe it’s rubella, I’m allergic in spring.”

"I haven't had any allergies before, did I go to 'good friends' and my physique changed?" Zhou Wei rubbed the back of his ears uncomfortably, and muttered, "The skin seems to harden after the acne disappears, my God It can't be psoriasis, can it? You stay away from me, or it might be contagious."

"Wait, it doesn't seem right." Percy suddenly noticed something, looked at his ears carefully for a while, and shouted, "This is scales! Zhou Wei, you are growing scales!"

"Scared?" Zhou Wei was taken aback, and scratched with his nails. It really felt like a metal texture, and he said messily, "No, isn't it enough to grow wings? My whole body is going to become a dragon?"

Percy was also amazed: "It's possible...God, what kind of strange blood do you have, how can you change your body like changing your teeth, changing and stopping, and it will take three to five years to complete the rhythm? "

Zhou Wei ran into the bathroom, looked left and right in the mirror, and said with a bitter face: "Is this too cheating? Will my whole body be covered with scales in two days... No, you didn't live with scales all day long Ah, I should be able to change back too, right? I can even change back my wings!"

"You can't change back until your wings are fully grown," Percy analyzed, "so you may have to wait until all the scales grow before you can change back to normal human skin."

"No, what should I do during the growth period? Aren't the work clothes punctured by it?" Zhou Wei's focus is always biased, "How can I wear shoes when my feet grow out? By the way, when you were a child How did it grow? Is it possible to transform when it is fully grown?"

"I don't look the same as you. I was born a chicken...not a dragon." Percy said, "I don't have a growing season!"

Zhou Wei sighed, and couldn't drink the tea anymore: "No, I'd better go to the hospital, maybe the doctor can help."

These days, the earthlings and aliens are of various mixed races, and there are special departments in the hospital for aliens.On the weekend, Zhou Wei drove his newly bought Harley motorcycle to the hospital early in the morning. Percy was worried and followed him.Before leaving, the lonely panda really wanted to take the car to go around the city, squatting on the back seat and couldn’t get off. In the end, Percy used his strong arms to forcefully drag it back to the dormitory—the panda was too fat, and Zhou Wei carried it You can no longer hump other people.

Ever since I bought the motorcycle, the battle between the dragon and the panda for the owner's back seat has never stopped!

Fortunately, I won today!Percy rode behind Zhou Wei, tightly hugging the owner's thin and powerful male dog's waist, and raised a smug smile!

He rushed all the way to the Municipal People's Hospital, and the reserved expert number was called just in time. As soon as Zhou Wei mentioned the "condition", a well-informed doctor with white hair and childlike face gave a treatment method: "Be patient, wait for the full length Just come out."

"Ah?" Zhou Wei was dumbfounded, "Then when will I grow out?"

"It's fast or slow, the bloodline is different, and the time is different." The doctor saw that he was pitifully worried, and quickly prescribed a prescription, "Your gene is so strange that it can't be found in the genealogy archives of the entire galaxy." , I’m not good at drawing conclusions. In this way, let’s give you some growth-promoting medicine, maybe you can grow faster.”

"Maybe? So you don't know if the medicine you prescribed is effective?" Zhou Wei asked blackly, "Then you still let me take it?!"

"Hey, you are the one who is anxious, besides, spiritual suggestion is also very important." The doctor explained slowly, like an old fairy, "You take the medicine and feel that you are growing fast, maybe it really grows Soon."

Are you a doctor or a magician?Zhou Wei was speechless, so he had no choice but to pay for the medicine according to the prescription, and then left the hospital gate with a large bag of vitamin growth hormone and so on.

Seeing that he was in a bad mood, Percy suggested to go for a stroll in the city: "The weather is nice today, and it's still early. Let's find a place to play. How about going up the city wall? I heard that there will be a marathon around the city today, and we will also sign up." Participate, maybe you can win the championship."

Zhou Wei was physically resistant to any intensive human activities, but thinking about Percy staying with him for such a long time in an inaccessible place like Baolongyu, as the owner, he should also accompany him for a walk, so he agreed: "Then let's go, I'll drive, you take advantage of this moment to sign up online."

The Harley motorcycle drove all the way to the foot of the city wall, and Percy's name was also registered. The two of them received two sets of sportswear at the registration office, and ran to the starting point of the South Gate Urn City to lead the race.A soft girl with big eyes issued a number plate to each of them, Zhou Wei was 233 and Percy was 234.Percy looked at Zhou Wei's number plate and said, "Why do I feel like you're laughing at me?" Zhou Wei looked at his number plate and smiled: "You're in an arithmetic sequence if you're short of 1, and I'm sorry if you don't come first. Number! Come on!"

The City Wall Marathon was organized by the Communist Youth League, and most of the applicants were young people, many of whom were interstellar hybrids. This kind of sport that relies on two legs to move on the surface of the earth, Percy really didn't dare to say that he would secure the first place, rubbed Zhou Wei's head: "Come on, too!"

As soon as the gunshots sounded, everyone ran away. This kind of long-distance running in spring is to make friends while keeping fit. Friendship means more than competition. Young people get to know each other while running. Even Zhou Wei, an anti-human being, is forced to run. Made two runners.

Percy has long legs, so he won the first place easily. When Zhou Wei ran to the finish line, he saw him squatting at the corner of the crenel talking to a man in a long robe. He leaned over and saw that he was a fortune-teller. God stick!

"Young man, you have a good face. You can be rich or expensive at first glance... What are you talking about? Work in a zoo? Oh, it's only temporary. One day you will jump into the dragon's gate and soar into the sky!" Colorless priestly robes, long sparse hair with a greasy bun on the top of his head, shaking his head and fooling Percy, "You don't have to worry about your career, I think you will be a leader sooner or later, but it's a big deal in marriage. Just hanging, come, come, hold out your hand and let me see."

"Aren't you?" Zhou Wei was speechless, and stretched out his hand to pull Percy up, "You actually counted your life here? You can believe this kind of deception by setting up a street stall!"

"Hey, young man, you are wrong. I am a Quanzhen Taoist priest of Zhongnan Mountain who is listed as a fortune-teller. I have relatives who have a degree!" The Taoist smiled and stroked his goatee. , "I didn't ask you for money, so don't doubt it if you read the palmistry for free, if you don't take advantage of it, you will be condemned by God."

What the hell logic... Zhou Wei still wanted to object, but Percy had already stretched out his hand: "Master, please ignore him, help me take a good look, how old can I get married?"

Zhou Wei raised his forehead, and the Taoist priest had already held Percy's hand to read it: "Oh, you are amazing at reading palms. I have lived such a long life, and this is the first time I have seen people who can only get married after the age of 70. Young man, you have to suffer. Seeing that you are not yet thirty, don’t think so much about it for the next four or fifty years, just rest in peace.”

Zhou Wei was about to be fired by Lei Fei, but Percy was overjoyed: "Really? Can I get married in my 70s? I'm almost [-], can I get married this year?"

The Taoist choked on his own saliva, and coughed earth-shatteringly for half a minute: "What? You are eighty years old? Could it be that you are an alien? Oh, poor Taoist, I was mistaken... Sure enough, there is no limit to learning, my real person is right , learning Liuyao must keep pace with the times..."

Percy tugged at his sleeve and asked: "Master, please calculate carefully for me. Will I get married this year or next year? Can my partner agree to my marriage proposal now?"

The Taoist carefully opened his hand: "Don't talk, don't talk, it's going to be broken, we will release new work clothes next quarter... Oh boy, fortune-telling is not so accurate, it's not GPS, it can be accurate to the time and the minute, I can't make it Immortal? We need to treat fate scientifically."

Zhou Wei stared at the sky speechlessly, he even set up a fortune-telling stall, what a fool!Percy was completely fooled by the magic stick, took out a handful of change and handed it to the Taoist priest: "Master, you are right!"

"No, no, I don't charge money, I just make a good relationship." The Taoist returned the change to him, "It's up to you to make up your own mind about what to propose, and it will come naturally when two people are happy. But I see you Recently, the Yintang is bright, and the eyes are full of peach blossoms, I am afraid that something good is coming." He took out a leaflet from his arms, "Come here, here you go, I think you might need it."

Percy took a look and saw that it was actually a wedding advertisement, which said "Golden Autumn October, tie the knot", a wedding company said to be one of the top ten wedding companies in the country will hold a thousand-person city wall wedding on the Mid-Autumn Festival, and now sign up for a 1988% discount , only [-] yuan, plus a luxury honeymoon trip to Zhongnan Mountain!

"You're just a babysitter of a wedding company after all this trouble?" Zhou Wei raised his forehead, "Nowadays, those who distribute leaflets are so technical, so don't worry about looking!"

"Hey, don't say that, I have relatives." The Taoist said with a smile, "This is a group wedding jointly held by our Quanzhen Sect and the Municipal Communist Youth League. It aims to promote traditional culture and provide a romantic parity for young people who intend to get married. The wedding ceremony, this wedding company is just an organizer, you can check it online later, their service is very unique."

Zhou Wei pulled Percy away without saying a word.The Taoist priests are very dedicated, and shouted Amway to their backs: "As long as 1988, dear, not 8888, not 9999, only 1988, and a luxurious honeymoon tour to Zhongnan Mountain! Quanzhen Sect sends you heartfelt blessings, golden autumn and October Tie the knot..."

The Harley locomotive chugs back to Baolongyu. It was already sunset. Zhou Wei parked the car and went upstairs. Percy took the leaflet and studied it carefully: "A wedding of a thousand people, isn't that a marriage of [-] couples together? It's very lively and easy. Son... And it's good to get married on the city wall. It's quite commemorative. How many years have the Ming city wall been? .”

"The mid-autumn festival will be on duty..." Zhou Wei opened the door, and replied casually, and it didn't feel right as soon as the words came out—is this a question of whether you are on duty or not?Percy was asking him about his marriage!

Damn is this a marriage proposal?

"You can ask for leave on duty. For such a big event as marriage, the district chief will definitely allow it. Maybe he will give us red envelopes." Percy looked down at the flyer and bumped his head on him.Zhou Wei was hit by him so that his face was pressed against the door, and he shouted: "Who wants to get married!"

"Ah? You don't want to?" Percy didn't back away, just pressed him against the door, "You won't marry me?"

"..." Zhou Wei was at a loss for words. He hadn't thought about getting married, but he didn't seem to have thought about marrying someone else either. The question is... "Can we propose in a different position?" With the addition of the door, we would be sandwiches!

Percy took a step back and scratched his head: "The masters say that I can get married before the age of 80, and I will be 79 this year."

"Then why don't you go to him to tie the knot?" Zhou Wei was furious for no reason, and kicked open the door, "You go to whoever said that!"

Seeing that he was angry, Percy was a little nervous: "Are you angry? Oh, then just pretend I didn't say anything." As he spoke, he tore up the leaflet and threw it into the wastebasket.Zhou Wei glared at him, and turned around the room like a bullfighting bull, with hot air blowing from his nose, not knowing where he was looking for.Percy sighed, and wanted to go to the bedroom to change clothes, but Zhou Wei shouted, "Stand still!"

Percy was startled by him, and quickly stopped. Zhou Wei looked at him like an enemy for half a minute, then suddenly opened the drawer of the chest of drawers, took out something from it, and walked in front of him.

"What, what?" Percy's legs trembled under the pressure of his overlord aura.Zhou Wei took a deep breath, knelt down on one knee suddenly, and stuffed the things in his palms: "Here for you!"

Percy was completely confused, and opened the small box in his hand, only to find a platinum ring inside!

What the hell!

Percy was completely stunned. He looked at the ring, and then at Zhou Wei who was kneeling in front of him. There were only two words in his mind - shit!

"Knot or not?" Zhou Wei proposed like a quarrel.

"Knot!" There was a "boom" in Percy's mind, and a hundred thousand sky-changing monkeys were released in an instant. As the first manta ray dragon in the Bai family who was destined to be proposed by a partner, his prestige will definitely be recorded in the annals of history!

Zhou Wei stood up, took his hand and put the ring on him, still with an expression of hatred on his face: "You took the lead in the confession last time, but this time I proposed marriage first, you remember it!"

Tears welled up in Percy's eyes, and he just nodded: "Okay! Count me in the door! The eldest son takes your surname!"

Zhou Wei glared at him angrily, blushing: "Fuck your mother's eldest son! I don't want to lay eggs!"

"That dink." Percy now even if Zhou Wei asked him to eat Xiang, he would run to the toilet without hesitation.Besides, some people have their own face-slapping attributes, and they say no to it, but their bodies are very honest...

The two reached an agreement on the issue of laying eggs, and looked at each other affectionately (not) for a while, and Percy suddenly said, "Where's Zhou Quan?"

Zhou Wei was taken aback. That's right. Normally, when they came home, the fat pandas would come up to them and beg the tiger to pet them and feed them. Why is it so quiet today?

I opened all the doors and searched, even the toilet and storage room. There was no fat panda in the whole dormitory. Zhou Wei panicked: "Where did it go? It's so timid that it won't go out alone to play." Yes, it was stolen by someone? No way, who would steal a panda... Is there any pervert who likes pandas in particular?"

Aren't you just that... Percy complained silently, comforting him: "Don't worry, let's wait a little longer, maybe it just went out to play, if it doesn't come back before midnight, I'll go out with you to find it."

Zhou Wei frowned: "It snowed just now, it's so cold outside, it probably won't go out..."

"Spring is the season of commotion." Percy rubbed his chin. "Maybe it's a commotion? Was it seduced by a female panda? It's three years old, right?"

"Male pandas usually don't come into love until they are five years old." Zhou Wei muttered, "Damn so precocious!"

Maybe it's you looking for love, Percy complained again, you are too late!