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The sun tans the tree shadows outside the window black.

A little dizzy.Hurriedly leading Wu's mother back to the ward from the entrance of the corridor, ignoring her shocked expression when she saw Wu Chen with a half-faced redness and porridge spilled all over the floor, Si Ji ran down the stairs directly.

Fortunately, Shen Luoshen was smoking at the entrance of the building, leaning against the off-white marble pillar.With a sullen face, Si Ji swung his fist at his beautiful and aggressive face.

Shen Luoshen did not hide.Si Ji also stopped when he was about to touch his skin.The back of his hand rubbed against the fluff on his face, and the softness was so soft that it was frightening.

"What do you mean by that just now?" He asked with a throat that was about to be hoarse, "Did you fucking do that kind of thing too? When? Why?"

"When I was in college, I was dumped by Qin Qiao." Shen Luo sighed deeply, his tone mixed with sarcasm, "I loved him like a dog, but he stabbed me." Rubbing his chest: "Fuck, saying the word love now gives me goosebumps. It's so fucking disgusting."

Si Ji smiled angrily: "That's great."

"Yes, very good."

The conversation almost came to an abrupt end.Si Ji hurriedly walked towards the gate of the hospital, passing by those begging and smiling faces all around him.Shen Luoshen yelled behind him if he wanted to have breakfast together, his tone was as usual as he had laughed and exchanged greetings countless times before.Si Ji's eyes were sour, and he didn't dare to look back at him.After walking a long way, he sat down on the isolation belt on the side of the street, holding his head, unable to say a word.

Head looks like it's going to explode.

Being too close and getting too familiar with each other, he seldom went into details about Shen Luoshen, he just thought that he could see him every day and always take care of him.To him, Shen Luoshen is a backer, a brother, a person who makes him feel at ease like an old boss.But he still took it for granted.Shen Luoshen has had countless boyfriends, laughing and laughing every day, his mouth smells worse than shit, and he can quickly come to a conclusion when encountering any problem and do his best.But he was almost like an orphan, estranged from his parents, loved by no one, and he loved no one.

He is not as powerful as Si Ji subconsciously thinks.

Si Ji inevitably recalled the day when Shen Luoshen's foot was punctured by beer.That was the last time he saw Shen Luo cry deeply.

But it was just the last time he could see it.

Taking a breath, he wanted to stand up, go back to find Shen Luoshen, and argue with him again, but he lost his temper in an instant.He just learned of a past incident, which has been going on for almost ten years.Also asked what it was for.Is it to tear open the wound and pour salt on it, and then force Shen Luoshen to pretend that it doesn't hurt at all in front of him?

He knew that Shen Luoshen could do it.It may have been installed countless times.

Looking down, the shadows of the trees under your feet are mottled, and the asphalt road is full of small scars.He remembered his high school days, when he was not afraid of anything, even if he skipped class and was scolded for fighting, it didn't matter.Because I know that my parents will still prepare breakfast when I wake up the next day, and there will still be folded clothes at my feet.He invited Shen Luoshen to go home for a meal, and dragged the other party all over the place, immersing himself in the present moment where he didn't feel panic at all.

It was as if a door that had been standing silently behind him had suddenly opened.There is cold wind blowing through the crack of the door, guilt, and fear.Cover all the good memories he thought of with a layer of frost.

Chills down his spine.

But he still misses those years when he was protected to death.Everyone watched their former self walk away step by step, and they couldn't turn back or pull back even if they shouted out their throats.

Biting his lips tightly, his hands trembling, he endured the sadness that came from the bottom of his heart and sent Zuoyan a WeChat message: "Last time I said something wrong, I shouldn't complain that you are surrounded by negative energy."

Soon Zuo Yan came back: "I still have a whole kindergarten kid."

Staring at Zuo Yan's smiling profile picture, he replied after a few seconds: "I feel very useless."

"what happened to you?"

"During high school, you were out of town. Did you have a hard time?"

"what?"

"I'm just asking you something. I remembered it suddenly. Do you miss home, father, or a good friend who suddenly lost contact. For example, Mr. Qin. "

"what happened to you?"

"Do you care?"

Zuo Yan didn't answer.Si Ji directly opened the WeChat location sharing, sat on the spot with his knees hugged and waited.I don't know if it's because he didn't eat or he didn't get enough sleep, but he was still shaking all over and couldn't stop.As far as he is concerned, nothing actually happened, he is still fine, he never thought of committing suicide, never thought of giving up his life, never thought of not being able to catch up with someone, and just finding another sex friend to solve his sexual needs.

It's just that I haven't been happy for more than three seconds in a long time.

He really wanted to hug Zuo Yan and say, "Old Zuo, I understand your life now."That kind of peaceful despair, the shadow that cannot be shaken off, and the past and future that are denied anytime and anywhere.In the past, he thought he understood, but understanding and experiencing it were completely different things.He has only experienced it for more than a month, while Zuo Yan has enjoyed it for more than ten years, and firmly believes that he will continue to do so for the rest of his life.

After more than 20 minutes, Zuo Yan's car stopped beside him.When Zuo Yan came to him, he jumped up and hugged him, rubbing his nose against Zuo Yan's neck.After hesitating for a few seconds, Zuo Yan wrapped his arms around his waist and asked in a low voice, "What's wrong with you?"

"It's okay, I just remembered that you haven't hugged me for a long time."

Holding Zuo Yan tight, and sniffing the faint scent of perfume on his skin, Si Ji asked, "Old Zuo, what's the relationship between the two of us now?"

He wanted to control the relationship between the two of them, but it still went astray a little bit.It's like riding a bicycle on a path full of colorful foam, and then desperately holding on to the handlebar, you don't know where it will slip.

Zuo Yan grabbed his arm and led him to face himself, with real worry in his eyes.Just when Si Ji thought he would say something, he still asked: "What happened?"

Si Ji forced a smile.Bitterly, timidly.But he still responded cooperatively: "Wu Chen committed suicide. He didn't die."

"Because of Lian Yu?"

"You have a good memory, you still remember the name of that beast."

A loud horn sounded behind him, and Zuo Yan said, "Get in the car first, you can't park here."

Si Ji hummed.The tense air was suddenly loosened by Zuo Yan.too perfect.Leading Si Ji to the direction of the studio, Zuo Yan continued to ask: "Didn't you say it was broken? Why do you want to die again?"

Holding his head, Si Ji replied: "It seems that a classmate who didn't know about it passed the news of Lian Yu's marriage, and let Wu Chen go to the wedding together."

"Who's taking care of him now?"

"Shen Luoshen and I watched the whole night, and his mother was always there. Why, do you want to go and see too?"

Zuo Yan stepped on the brake and looked at Si Ji in surprise.

"You guys are still familiar, it's nothing to be a friend, why are you so surprised?"

Si Ji wanted to shut up, but these words still popped out one by one.

Very happy.

A momentary pain flashed across Zuo Yan's face, but it quickly subsided.Laughing silently, he looked straight ahead, stepped up the accelerator, and drove on his own.

The sky is gray blue.Guang Yulan turned into a dark green shadow and kept passing by.Sneezing, Si Ji wiped the tears that were forced out of the corners of his eyes, and realized that he had almost forgotten what Xia Tian looked like.