Do not give up ice and snow for the king

Stretch at a distance of less than 30 centimeters, and look deeply at the stretch.

His whole body smelled of alcohol, his eyes were red and swollen, I don't know if it was from the wipers or from tears, his nose kept twitching, probably from a cold, his lips were purple from the cold, his teeth were chattering, and it seemed that even his beard suddenly sprouted. When I came out, there was a lot of sand on the bottom of the pants, and the white basketball shoes couldn't see the background color. I didn't see them for a few hours, and I felt a few years older.

The two stood there in the cold rain, looking at each other deeply, neither of them spoke.

Suddenly, stretching out his long arms, he pressed the edge of the cloud tightly into his arms, and intertwined his other hand, with force once and for all, layer by layer, until the gap between the two was even covered with rainwater. He couldn't fall down, even though he had hugged him a few times before, but Yun Bian clearly felt that this time was much tighter and more pressure-bearing than the previous few times, and he even felt the crisp sound of bones.Yun Bian also stretched out his arms, hugged tightly and stretched.

Suddenly, Yunbian seemed to hear Shuzhan's suppressed crying, which was soft and small, like the whimpering of a small animal, intermittently, but was quickly overwhelmed by the sound of rain.The rain was still falling, falling on their heads, bodies, faces, and tightly hugged chests, shining brightly.

29

Just when Yun Bian thought that Shu would just hug him in the rain in silence until dawn, Shu Zhan relaxed his strength a little, and Yun Bian suddenly felt a relief in his chest, and the two of them were hot and hot when they were hugging each other tightly. Because of the opening of this gap, the cold wind rushed in and suddenly became cold, and Yun Bian couldn't help shivering.

Shu Zhan realized it, and pushed him tightly onto himself, pressing hard. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry..." Shu Zhan's hoarse, suppressed voice with unspeakable regret and guilt came word by word accompanied by the cold rain and cool wind. In his heart, lingering.And the place it passed was also covered with cold air and damp, and finally condensed into transparent and cold ice balls, which hit Yunbian's heart fiercely, and his heart immediately became cold and achy, one after another , endlessly.

From last night when Shu Zhan first wanted to do something to him, and finally gave him an unknown, which made him suddenly despaired to doubt his life and his disgusting eyes, Yun Bian's thoughts and heart have been in chaos all the time. The state of floating.

He didn't understand why Shu Zhan suddenly went mad, why he suddenly hated himself so coldly and resentfully, of course, he didn't have the ability to clearly analyze the reason or try to find out the reason, he seemed to suddenly become a walking dead, all souls and minds Being taken away by Shu Zhan's eyes, only a hollow body remained in place, and there was only a voice floating up and down in all directions, how could this be?how so?

Although this hopeless mood was temporarily replaced by anxiety and restlessness, the sequelae of his despair and being abandoned by others still exist deeply, just like a sudden earthquake, the whole land is a waste, even though the earthquake may be It has been a long time, but the whole earth must still retain the memory of his fear.

But now, he finally heard Shu Zhan's apology, heard him one after another, depressed, self-blame, guilty, uneasy sorry, how could he not let Yun Bian suddenly become angry and sad, and feel wronged, how could he not Hot and cold?Just like in kindergarten, when you were misunderstood and scolded by teachers and classmates for no reason, when you thought you would be sad and hesitant, suddenly teachers and classmates came to apologize to you, saying that you misunderstood you, how can you not let you be angry, wronged and happy at this moment Have you been wronged?In fact, what you want to call is just a statement, a statement that can prove that you are not wrong, it is really misunderstood.Now that you have got this saying, you should forget about this unpleasant experience and start over, if you want to be the same as before with your teachers and classmates.

Yun Bian patted the stretched and soaked back lightly, wanting him to let go of himself, the two of them should go up and take a hot shower now.But Shu Zhan still hugged him tightly, not letting go, just kept saying sorry, sorry.It seems that no matter how many times he says sorry, he can’t truly express one ten-thousandth of his regret and guilt, and it seems that the self-blame and self-ashamedness are so deep that except for sorry, other words have excuses for himself in order to get forgiveness Suspected of self-confidence.How can I be forgiven? How can I be forgiven? After doing something like that to Yunbian.

After he rushed out of the classroom, he drove wildly, aimlessly, and wandered around.But wherever he went, those two sentences seemed to be engraved on his heart, following him like a shadow.I've never in my life enjoyed stretching.I can't be with him all my life.These two words are like a curse tightly covering his head, even if he just thinks about it, he will have a splitting headache, a violent temper, and want to destroy everything he sees.Finally, when he realized where he was, he had already arrived at the beach by the sea.

The beach in late autumn is deserted and desolate, with no one coming and going.The sea water rises and falls day and night, rises and rises again, and goes back and forth like this.

The calmer he was, the easier it was for him to think of Yunbian, and when he thought of Yunbian, he would think of those two nightmare words.He was so angry that he brought a dozen beers to the beach, with scarlet eyes, and drank one can after another. Occasionally, when he stopped, he staggered and fell drunkenly on the shallow beach by the sea, letting the cold bite his bones , The smelly sea water hit him wave after wave, as if only in this way could his body stay awake, and only by keeping his body awake could he firmly remember his hatred for Yunbian.

He knew that as long as he was drunk or fell asleep, Yunbian would come to him. He smiled at him, watched him smile, and he could forgive all his mistakes.Hahaha, how ridiculous, I swore to take good care of him for the rest of my life, to protect him from the wind and sand, to protect him from the rain and dew, but in the end, I only got two words from him, which were vehemently denied. I have paid everything, and I am unbreakable, forever and ever shut myself out of his world.For those closest to us, the most deadly weapon is definitely language. As long as you speak it accurately and firmly, just one sentence, you will be killed immediately.For a lifetime, for a lifetime, he will not like, will not be together, the words are sharp, stabbed at the same time, he has no way to hide, he sticks to him, pierces through the flesh, pierces into the heart, bleeding, flesh and bones are broken, riddled with holes, chaotic into a ball.I was already in danger, but what was ridiculous was that his eyes and my heart were still filled with his deep and shallow smiles.Really, it's in your hands, this life, this heart.Drunkenness, drowsiness, and chills combined, he collapsed on the shallow beach of the sea in a dazed state, and fell asleep in a daze.When he woke up again, he was drenched by the rain. He didn’t know when it started to rain heavily. However, what’s the matter? Come here, let’s pass. Come on, he even thanked the sudden heavy rain , so that I can be completely embarrassed and ugly.The mobile phone on his body rang, buzzing non-stop, Shu Zhan took it out irritably, the strikingly eye-catching word "Yun'er", which used to be the most precious and precious nickname, now looks particularly eye-catching and piercing.Why are you still calling, why are you still calling, he became even more irritable, he threw the phone away, picked up the beer and drank again.After sleeping, with the sea breeze blowing and the rain drenching, he was cleared up a lot, but he also had a headache.It's almost one o'clock in the morning, where should I go?Not wanting to go home, after a while, the cell phone that was thrown away persistently rang, it was at this point, who would call myself?When he saw that it was Yunbian, he didn't answer it without hesitation, and let it ring non-stop.At this moment, even though he was still angry, when he saw that it was Yun Bian's phone call, he was still secretly happy.What's more, he saw a dozen missed calls just now, probably all from him.But at this point, he still hasn't slept yet, calling himself, is he concerned about himself?That being the case, why did you say such harsh words to me?I obviously like you so much.Wait, what did he say to me so harshly?I will never be with him in my life.Really ruthless, can you care about yourself?I obviously like you that much?Shu Zhan's mood suddenly came to an abrupt end, and his expression was greatly shaken.At that time, when I heard such decisive words in the recorder, my mind was completely out of order, and my emotions were completely out of control. When I heard Yunbian's voice close to my ears, I took it for granted and subconsciously thought that it was what Yunbian said to me.One of the reasons why he has not expressed his heart to Yun Bian until now is that he subconsciously knows that his kindness to him is only out of concern among friends rather than sweetness between lovers, so it should be impossible to accept himself?At least for the time being, it's impossible, so isn't my strategy all the time just to take things step by step, to fight steadily, and finally, when things will come to fruition, won't I win in one fell swoop?Therefore, in the eyes of everyone, Yun Bian will not be with him. Isn't that a common idea, a normal thing?What's more, I have never expressed my heart to him, even if he stands in front of me now and says that I will never be with you in my life, let alone myself, the most natural and common way for people in the world should not be to laugh and kick him kicked, and then cursed who will be with you, I am a man.But the problem is precisely that I am not someone else, I am the one who likes him and likes him to be crazy.But Yun Bian was crazy about him and didn't know it.But no one will hear the person he has loved for a long time and vowed to be with him for the rest of his life, but after saying such cruel and hurtful words that I will not be with you in this life