Actually I like you very much

The next second, Jiang Xunxing cut off the phone.

He didn't dare to continue listening.

Coco's words sliced ​​through his heart like a blade, confirming every one of his assumptions, he was afraid of hearing words he didn't want to hear.

Jiang Xunxing walked aimlessly on the street, not knowing which direction to go, and didn't even look for how long he had been walking until he smelled a salty sea breeze at a certain moment and suddenly raised his head.

He came to the bandstand.

The curved staircase goes down layer by layer, surrounded by tall buildings, and in the middle of the line of sight is the dilapidated circular stage that has been exposed to wind and sun.

——In the past, he would come here almost every weekend.

Together with Sikong.

The entire park connected to the bandstand is undergoing rectification. A long section of the road has been sealed off, and the turf has been lifted. It looks very deserted, and no one comes. Perhaps it is due to construction during the day. The stone steps It is full of dust.

Jiang Xunxing found a slightly cleaner place and sat there for a long time.

Until the sky is completely dark, the buildings behind are lit up with colorful lights.

But this corner was always dark, and Jiang Xunxing sat in a place where the light couldn't reach, repeating the same movement over and over again.

——He entered the number, dialed, waited for the phone to be automatically hung up, and continued to dial.

He listened to the mechanical female voice from the receiver over and over again, extremely stubborn, as if as long as he kept calling, someone would answer the phone, and he would hear the familiar voice.

Jiang Xunxing remembered Sikong's last Weibo.

Go forward and don't look back.

He thought it was Sikong who said it to him.

He messed up Sikong's life, Sikong hated him, and Sikong wanted to bid farewell to the messy days of the past.

That doesn't seem to be the case.

People who have always been gentle suddenly become unfeeling, which will make people feel overwhelmed.

Jiang Xunxing was still mechanically repeating the call.

Other than that, he didn't know how else to calm himself down.

He was very irritable and kept biting his nails, biting harder and harder, biting his fingertips, wanting to bite his fingers, wanting to press his nails into his flesh, wanting to bleed himself, as if only pain could calm him down.

—He hasn't done this kind of thing for a long time.

Just then, the phone vibrated.

Xiang Wan's phone call.

Jiang Xunxing thought for a moment, adjusted his breathing, and answered.

"Xunxun." Xiang Wan's voice.

"Ah."

The background on the other end was a bit noisy, and it could be discerned that it was Li Huai and Xiyou Hongyou who were arguing, but it quieted down after a while, probably Xiang Wan walked into the room.

He asked Jiang Xunxing, "When will you be back?"

Jiang Xunxing: "...I don't know."

Jiang Xunxing's voice sounded very strange, as if he had no spirit, just like usual.

Xiang Wan: "Xun Xun, what's wrong with you?"

"I'm fine." Jiang Xunxing said.

Xiang Wan asked, "Where are you?"

"..." No one answered.

Xiang Wan said again, "Tell me."

"Xiang Wan, leave me alone for a while." After finishing speaking, Jiang Xunxing hung up the phone, only the busy tone remained on the receiver.

Xiang Wan felt uneasy all afternoon.

Not only because Jiang Xunxing might go to see Sikong, but also because of some kind of indescribable intuition.

There can only be one reason why I met the other three people on SAT and became like this again.

Because of Sikong.

Refuse to forgive, refuse to meet, or various other reasons.

Xiang Wan knew that she shouldn't meddle in the affairs of Jiang Xunxing and Sikong, but under irrational circumstances, actions and thoughts could not always be in agreement.

——He has endured for a whole afternoon, no one can let the boy he likes go to meet another person he once liked.

Before the idea that he shouldn't interfere, Xiang Wan had already rushed outside, holding his chest with one hand. This guy has added many players, and he can get the contact information of all the players in the circle: "What's Gao Yu's phone number?"

Gao Yu had just gotten off the high-speed train and was checking tickets at the exit gate when he received the strange call.

On the other side of the receiver was Xiang Wan's voice, very cold, deep, like bone china.

Gao Yu wasn't surprised by the phone call. He tilted his head and clamped the phone, and put his ID card on the ticket gate: "Even if I tell you, what can you do?"

"Can you save him?"

Without any hesitation, the other person replied: "Yes."

This phone call lasted quite a while, after hanging up, Gao Yu looked at the call time, 40 minutes, he has never had such a long phone call with anyone.

He has been on the side of the road, sitting on the suitcase.

City C station is located far away from the center of the city, and there is a circle of black car drivers at the exit, waving their hands to welcome passengers, but there are not many people on board, it is too pitiful.

The night wind was strong and a bit cold, so Gao Yu had to put on his hood and pull up his scarf to keep out the wind.

Then he casually boarded a black taxi.

When getting off the car, Gao Yu didn't expect that the place would become so empty.

This used to be the busiest place in City C, but it's only been two years. After renovations, roads, and the opening of several commercial plazas on the other side, gradually no one comes here anymore.

It's the same with people.

Two years is too long.

Just like there will never be white pigeons staying here again, and those who will not come back will never come back.

Jiang Xunxing had probably guessed the truth of the matter.

He has just been in contact with Dawei and the others. The three of them have a personality that cannot be hidden, and they can definitely be seen. If it is true that nothing has been discovered at this time, Gao Yu thinks it is necessary for him to get to know Jiang Xun again. star.

He took a few steps forward.

In a pile of renovation materials, I saw a figure. The young man sat on the stone steps with his legs bent, his phone screen was always on, and he kept biting his nails.

Jiang Xunxing didn't seem to notice that there were people coming around, or he ignored it on purpose. All his thoughts were focused on the mobile phone that kept repeating the mechanical female voice.

Gao Yu dragged the suitcase over, sat down, and lit a cigarette.

The smoke writhed left and right in the wind.

"I told you not to come." Gao Yu said.

Jiang Xunxing stared at the screen stubbornly, made a call stubbornly, and then bit his nails hard.

"What do you mean the captain won't be back?" Jiang Xunxing asked directly.

Gao Yu chuckled: "literally."

Jiang Xunxing turned his eyes to look at him, his eyes seemed to freeze, he seemed to be irritated by this casual tone, and grabbed Gao Yu's neckline: "No!"

"That's right." Gao Yu saw that his nails, which were originally in pretty shape, were bitten unevenly.

He was just biting his nails, and it seemed that he was restraining himself all the time, and he was not sick.

Gao Yu spit out the smoke in his mouth, and didn't answer directly, just said: "Go back, we will compete tomorrow."

"I'll wait for you here after the game." Gao Yu paused, and then said, "It's okay if you don't come."

Jiang Xunxing, who returned to the hotel, was completely out of order. He walked straight into the room as if he didn't see the people in the living room.

"Captain, what's wrong with him?" Li Huai asked, but Xiang Wan ignored him.

After calling Gao Yu's phone call, Xiang Wan became depressed. He sat on the sofa, probably thinking about something, motionless, and did not answer his questions.

The day before the game, what happened?

Li Huai wanted to try to adjust Xiang Wan's mood, but Xiang Wan stood up, poured a cup of hot milk, and walked directly into Jiang Xunxing's room without knocking on the door.

Jiang Xunxing sat in front of the table with a piece of paper on it, nail clippers in his hand, and was in a daze.

Xiang Wan put the cup on Jiang Xunxing's face.

Jiang Xunxing trembled, as if he had just recovered.

"Is it cold outside?" Xiang Wan asked.

The milk was steaming hot and fainted between the two of them. Jiang Xunxing stared at the white mist quietly and replied, "I don't know."

"I've drunk the milk." Xiang Wan took away the nail clippers, supported Jiang Xunxing's hand, and trimmed it carefully.

Jiang Xunxing, who usually pays so much attention to his fingers, bit his nails like this.

Jiang Xunxing shrank his fingertips and wanted to pull his hand out. Xiang Wan clenched his fingers and said, "The bite is too ugly."

Jiang Xunxing: "..."

He was very careful. After trimming, Xiang Wan crumpled the paper and threw it into the trash can without saying anything.

The milk has been drunk, and the body gradually heats up along with the warm stomach.

It was too quiet in the room.

After a long time, Jiang Xunxing said, "Xiang Wan, they all said that the captain will not come back, what do they mean?"

Like talking to himself.

But he called Xiang Wan's name.

He just wanted to ask this question, hoping that someone could answer him. The captain just went abroad, but he would not be able to return for a while, not the desperate "literal meaning".

He asked Xiang Wan.Because Xiang Wan didn't know about it, he might give the answer he wanted to hear.

But Xiang Wan just stared at him with deep eyes.

Xiang Wan said, "Get some sleep first."

Jiang Xunxing raised his head.

- Xiang Wan also knew.

Jiang Xunxing looked at Xiang Wan in disbelief.

Xiang Wan didn't say anything.

Xiang Wan knew that it was actually a very normal thing, he could ask Gao Yu.

The only one who has been pretending to be stupid is himself.

But Jiang Xunxing didn't want to admit it.

He didn't know anything, no one told him, they kept it from him for two years.

Like a fool, he was still looking forward to the day when he could reconcile with Sikong, have another word with him, and apologize to him.

Fool.

Jiang Xunxing fell into endless mania.

The chest seems to be densely covered with bugs, it hurts, it hurts, and I want to scratch it.

He started scratching his arm.

The nails had just been trimmed, and they were a little sharp, and he was using a lot of force, leaving a few white marks on his hands, with a trace of blood faintly showing.

"Don't let him have a chance to touch sharp things, not even nails." Gao Yu said.

Xiang Wan hugged Jiang Xunxing and held him firmly in his arms, preventing him from doing anything else.

Jiang Xunxing didn't expect that Xiang Wan would hug him suddenly, and even his neck became stiff in an instant.

He calms down.

There was a faint tingling pain in his arm, he scratched it himself.

Only then did Jiang Xunxing suddenly realize that he seemed to be falling ill again.

——A long time ago, in countless helpless moments, he liked to stab himself with a knife, which was very cool.

When he was taken away from the orphanage, he couldn't get rid of this habit.

In the past, Sikong had always stopped him.

Take away all sharp objects in the team, take him to see a doctor, teach him step by step, correct him, and hold his wrist when he can't restrain himself or is unconscious.

It's Xiangwan now.

Stop him with a hug.

On the end of his nose was Xiang Wan's scent.

And the sound of a heartbeat.

Xiang Wan hugged her extremely hard, but her hands were shaking.

"It's okay, Xunxun." Xiang Wan's voice was soft, like distressed, but also comforting, "I will always be..."

The author has something to say:

Thank you very very very much for being here.

I love you so much.