last hundred days

1.

A policeman called me today and asked if I was the owner of Villa D in Wutongshu Community?

I said yes, the voice on the other end of the phone was silent for two seconds, and said softly: "That's right, Mr. Xie, your house caught fire last night due to electrical problems."

I let out a "huh", and felt some inexplicable pain in my heart.

He continued: "We found a corpse in your house, and the cause of death was preliminarily determined to be an illness, because a lot of pills were scattered around the corpse, and the corpse had begun to rot... My colleague looked at the gentleman's ID, His surname is Lin, is he your friend?"

I can't speak.

He is still saying, "I am contacting you now to ask you to claim the body, because we have tried to contact his family but there has been no news..."

"gentlemen?"

"Did you hear that?"

he died?

Lin Rui, dead?

2.

Went to the hospital today to claim his body.

I still... don't quite believe he's going to die.

When the doctor was talking about the corpse, he suddenly paused, glanced at me, and said in a low voice, "This gentleman has already rotted and needs to be cremated as soon as possible."

He seemed to be comforting me.

Lin Rui.

Lin Rui.

I kept repeating his name in my mind.

3.

His face was pale, and I didn't dare to look at it, but if I didn't look again, I would never see him again.

He is Lin Rui, my Rarity.

he died.

4.

The funeral home staff asked me to choose an urn for his burial, ceramic, sandalwood, jade.

I chose a beautiful pear wood box with a floral aroma. If possible, I don't want him to live in the box. I want him to come home with me.

When he came out, it was a handful of ashes, wrapped in brocade cloth, off-white, with some black, I heard that he was sick, I don’t know where to look, it is said that people take too much medicine when they are alive, even the bones will change black.

I walked out of the funeral home with the rosewood urn in my arms. The sun was bright and dazzling.

I hold him.

He is so light.

5.

The villa only burned out the corner of the TV cabinet. I asked someone to redecorate it. I remembered that he said that he wanted to put a Doraemon figure on the TV cabinet, so as not to find the remote control next time and have to go around again. If there is one There can be many remote controls in the treasure bag.

Stupid logic.

Childish as childish.

I went downstairs to a supermarket not far away to buy a Doraemon doll, but I couldn’t find the doll. The clerk said it was sold out two days ago.

The TV cabinet has not been repaired yet, so I put the doll beside him.

Let's make do with it first, and my husband will buy it for you later.

I smiled and told him that I wanted to see him stare at me unhappily, and waited for a long time.

Can't see it anymore.

6.

Xiao Xia came today and brought a bouquet of irises. I asked him to sit down first, and went to the kitchen to pour water for him. I saw a layer of dust on the juicer that Lin Rui used every day. I couldn't help but wash it. People are really...the things they use every day are left alone.

Xiao Xia took the water, looked at me sadly and said, "Mr. Xie, I didn't know that Brother Rui lied to me...he told me that he had told you, I thought he would treat him well, if I had known, I would have... ..." As he spoke, his eyes turned red, and he sniffed, "He also cooked a big table of meals for me, and told me that he would be fine soon, and I still thought about inviting him to dinner later, why did he... "

I didn't know what to say, so I looked back at Lin Rui.

How about I raise another beautiful flower?

Rarity, what should I raise?

Didn't you always clamor for a baby?

7.

After sending off the people who came to see Rarity, I went to the kitchen to cook.

When I opened the refrigerator, I found that the fruits inside were all slumped. It had been stored for about a week. In addition to the fruits, there were two boxes of curry and a few eggs.

I took out the fruit and threw it away, took three eggs to prepare scrambled eggs and fried rice, and asked the living room if he had eaten it?

Probably still angry, he ignored me.

I already ate fried rice with eggs, so don't be angry.

8.

At night, I cleaned up the room and found a lot of empty medicine bottles in the drawer. On it was his boring graffiti, such as "a little Xie is lying on the ground", next to it was a little bear with its butt pouted, and "Xiaolin, etc. Xiaoxie’s No.80 Seven Days’, a kitten was squatting in the corner of the wall, I flipped over two, dropped one on the ground, picked it up and took a look, there was only one line of crooked words on it——he hates me .

Maybe he was too bored, only the medicine bottle was with him.

I felt a little uncomfortable, turned around and touched the wooden box, and told him, Rarity, I was just mad at you.

I didn't ask you to leave me.

9.

I went to the company today, Xiao Chen asked me to have dinner, and said that the hotel I loved had a new product.

I said someone at home was waiting for me.

Xiao Chen smiled and said, "Mr. Lin? Mr. Xie, have you reconciled with him?"

probably.

I nodded.

Xiao Chen said again: "When will Boss Lin come back to work? I'm almost exhausted without him. Next time you two are at odds, can you stop embarrassing a small character like me~"

I smiled at him, "Thank you for your hard work, he won't come back, if you are too busy, bring a new one."

Xiao Chen muttered and complained: "How can a newcomer be so easy to take care of? You are so affectionate and don't torment single dogs like us, okay? By the way, Mr. Xie, does Mr. Lin know about my pretending to be your little lover? ? Isn’t it because of this that he didn’t come back?”

I shook my head, thinking that Rarity didn't know.

I want him to know.

10.

I was on vacation at home today, and the figurines I asked someone to buy arrived. The TV cabinet was repaired just like before. I put the figurines on it, and I couldn’t help laughing at the thought of someone always looking for the remote control with bare feet every summer.

A certain person loses things every year, not only does not know how to repent, but is feudal and superstitious, retweeting two koi fish on Weibo will be able to go out to pick up money tomorrow, and has a special set of fallacies.

"Rarity, call me."

"I miss you."

11.

had a dream.

I dreamed that he was sitting on the balcony talking to himself.

"When will Xie Min come back?"

"Are you not coming back? He seems to hate you very much."

"Nonsense, he said he likes me the most."

"But he also said that he hates you the most..."

"..."

I want to say that is a lie to you, because I am angry, please coax me, coax me and I will come back.

12.

Wooden boxes ignore people.

13.

There is a tree in the yard, and a sign on it says 'Rarity's tree'.

I watered the Rarity tree, went back to the house and slept with the wooden box in my arms.

14.

I brought a lot of fresh fruit home from get off work. In the past, he always ran over to pick up what I had when I got home to change my shoes. He always left work earlier than I did because he liked to eat at the school gate. The boss of that shop always closes the stall at 05:30 for the crab roe tofu and rice cake boxes.

Our company gets off work at six o'clock, and he always leaves early because he is the boss.

I like to see the way he looks smug every time he leaves early, saying that he wants to go home and wait for the uncle to come home and pamper him.

So cute.

I like every day when I go home, he will pick me up at the door and call me out.

I carried the fruit and walked to the living room, seeing him alone on the coffee table, suddenly the corners of my eyes turned sore.

How can anyone not give me a chance when they get angry?

15.

I remembered that I was not only angry with him, but also fierce with him, saying that he was selfish, unreasonable, making trouble and not being considerate of others.

I visited his family in the afternoon when I went to get his death certificate done.

I never thought there would be parents who learn of a child's death and only ask where his inheritance is.

Why should I kill him?

Am I sick, why should I bully him?

16.

I felt uncomfortable and held him and talked for a while.

I said you never thought about what should I do if you left?

Later I fell asleep, and I seemed to hear him say, did you think about what I should do when you left?

17.

There are a lot of building blocks at home, and I was a little bored, so I hugged him and piled up building blocks, and built a kitten named Rarity.

I said Rarity, do you love me?

I suddenly remembered that he was heartbroken when he heard me questioning that he didn't love me.

does he love me

18.

I dug out his diary.

19.

It turned out that I was his first love.

20.

It turned out that he wanted to grow old with me forever.

21.

I opened WeChat, turned around, and finally couldn't help but click on New Friends, there was a message from him there.

——Please, I didn't mean to disturb you, I just wanted to see you.

——Xie Min, I won't bother you.

— Please, what do I want you to do?

——I miss you so much, can you talk to me?

——Xie Min, I feel so uncomfortable

——Did you delete me because you don’t want to see me?please don't do this

——I'm sorry I shouldn't have cherished you when you loved me

I didn't see one at first.

Now I look at it one by one, as if I have been dragged into hell, someone is digging my heart.

How could I be willing to do this to him?

How could I be willing to bully him like this?

22.

I received a package at home today, it was from the hospital, and it was full of painkillers. I dialed the phone number on the package, and a male doctor answered the phone.

I said I was Lin Rui's family, and he was silent for two seconds and asked, "... something happened to him?"

I looked at the rosewood urn and said softly, "Well, doctor, I have received the medicine you sent me."

He was silent for a long time before saying: "If you're gone, you can return it, it's useless to keep it."

I lit the medicine bottles in the express box, one, two, three, four, seven, eight, nine, ten bottles.

So many painkillers.

My Rarity, how painful should it be?

23.

What was I thinking when he said he was out of spirit?

Some can't remember.

I have always been dizzy recently, and I didn't go to the company. I sat at home and read his diary over and over again. His love is restrained and full-bodied.

I am the only one who regards jasper as a stone and does not know how precious it is.

24.

I dug out his cell phone, it was out of battery, I found a charger to charge it, and I went to the kitchen to fry a bowl of fried rice with eggs.

He loves fried rice with eggs, and he also likes to bully me with fried rice with eggs.

Every time after a quarrel, he would make fried rice with eggs, and he would be happy to see me upset. When I saw him like this in the past, I wanted to abduct him to the bed and give him a hard education.

Can't see it now.

25.

I turned on his cell phone and opened his WeChat.

Seeing that he sent me a lot of messages, each of which was preceded by a red exclamation mark, the system tirelessly reminded him, and he still sent tirelessly.

"I think of the crab roe tofu at the gate of the school today. I haven't been able to get up for two days. I'm so hungry. If you can receive this message, please buy me a copy. I'm so hungry."

"It's so strange, I have a little strength to think of sending you a message, but I just don't have the strength to get out of bed, I won't be a starving ghost, right? Haha [sad]"

"I fertilized the Ruirui tree today, but it's still not as tall as me. I wonder if I can wait until it's taller than me before I die? I'm looking forward to it."

"Xiaoxiaole has been updated again. It seems to be some festival today. I sent an ugly head portrait pendant. Ah, so ugly. I miss you again today. It's raining. I don't know if you have an umbrella."

"I went to see a psychiatrist today. It's so embarrassing. I heard from the doctor that I was out of control, but I didn't feel it. I stopped by Dr. Li and stole a can of tea to go home. If you are here, I will give you a piece of the pie." , It’s a pity that you’re not in [circle], it’s all mine.”

There are too many, I am not willing to read it all at once.

Just slide to the last one.

Seeing him, he said, "I saw Weibo, it's my fault, I'm sorry, I won't pester you anymore, I'm sorry Xie Min, I didn't know I was so unlovable, I will change it in the future, even if it is true If you can’t change it, then I won’t bother you when I die, haha ​​[happy]”

26.

I want to ask the doctor if I can take that painkiller.

27.

He called me a lot and sent me a lot of text messages.

I blocked him, and I didn’t want to receive any of them. Now looking at the unsent and unanswered messages in his mobile phone, my heart hurts like a crack. I don’t understand how I could treat him like this, how could I Do this to him.

How painful is he?

He was so sick that he was dying, why did I still stab him with a knife?

28.

It's thundering.

I don't know if he is afraid or not.

He used to be most afraid of thunder, he would nest in my arms every time, humming and chirping: "The Immortal's Tribulation is so scary."

"Bullshit."

He laughs every time I say that.

I haven't seen his smile for a long time.

29.

When he was studying, he always took the first place in the exam, and his personality was also bad. His classmates didn’t like him. Only I fell in love with him at first sight and pestered him. .

kiss.

Later, when we went abroad to get married, he happily bought two hundred catties of wedding candy and distributed it all over the company. Finally, he went home and complained to me.

I kissed him and he immediately shut up.

30.

I found his suicide note.

He was an idiot who was stupefied with his studies. He wrote his suicide note as a thesis.

I watched it once, and it was kind of funny.

I cried when I saw it again.

31.

I miss him so much.

32.

I love him, but I'm not good to him.

But I can't help it, my Rarity disappeared, he doesn't want me anymore.

33.

I took his mobile phone and added my friend.

I texted him an "I love you".

There is another sentence, "Wait for me."

34.

The first draft of the suicide note——

I hope Xie Min is happy and happy.

The second draft of the suicide note——

I hope Xie Min is happy, I hope I...

I haven't thought about it yet, let's talk about it after I die.

35.

——I hope you, wait for me to love you again.

The author says:

postscript

In fact, I almost forgot about Rarity’s article, but today I suddenly wanted to write about Xie Min, and the writing was not good, because he didn’t know many things, and he couldn’t know, and I didn’t want him to know (I thought he knew) On the contrary, it makes Rarity seem unworthy, like saying that Rarity is still thinking about him when he is lying on the bed. I don't know how to write it best.

There is no crematorium, everyone is dead, there is only self-repentance.

Have a chance to rewrite it again, I can’t write it today [disappointed]

In addition, Xie Min only has the number 35, because he only lived to be 35 years old.