through those heavy years

The leaves rustled in the cold wind, and people's faces turned pale under the street lamps.The moment he walked out of the hotel entrance, his whole body suddenly shrank into a ball, feeling the coldness of being tortured.There was heating in the restaurant when I went to work, and it was a little hot when it kept turning.Now that he was out of the protective circle, he was only wearing a sweater inside, a thin long-sleeved sweatshirt outside, two pieces of trousers, and cloth shoes, and he couldn't stop shaking.I grew up not knowing that there are winter down jackets in winter and summer sweatshirts in summer.I only know that the clothes are worn on the body, and it is not necessary to wear too much if it is not cold.When I was a child in winter, I wore a few coats for a few months, and it didn't matter if it stinks.

I crossed my arms vigorously, bent my body, and my clothes were stretched tightly. From the back, I could probably see the protruding spine.There were a few passers-by on the road, wrapped in thick down jackets, with their heads half down, their bodies straight, their hands in their pockets, and they walked forward without looking sideways.

Walking through the residential alley, I saw a family of four through the window, sitting comfortably in the living room watching TV.A sudden feeling of powerlessness reminded me of my grandma who had been alone at home for two years, just as miserable as me who was alone outside.In such a windy and icy weather, will anyone chop firewood for grandma and warm her quilt and feet?Feeling the sour tears, my heart is even more concerned.Wanting to do something, I decided to write to her.Someone in Murakami should have installed a landline by then, but I don't have a source for the phone number.Only writing letters is the only sustenance.

The stationery store is very warm, and there are all kinds of letterheads and pens.Looking at these papers and pens, a long-lost memory and familiarity filled my mind.After dropping out of school for almost two years, I have forgotten a lot of words.Now when I pick up the pen, I feel a feeling that penetrates to the bottom of my heart, which makes my heart a little hot.I sighed, and in this gentle touch, I chose a few pieces of letterhead with the fragrance of grass and trees, a few notebooks with green covers, two or three pens, paid the money, and walked outside in the cold air again.Thinking about writing a letter to grandma, my whole body was full of strength, I took a step, and started to trot.Snow particles fell in the sky, and there were fewer pedestrians on the road.In this winter, at least I can still think of grandma.

"Hi!" I don't know who met an acquaintance and hid behind, but I know that acquaintance must not be me, because this city and I are still strangers to each other.

"Hi, hi!" The voice came very clearly and persistently.I'm not interested in looking back to see who he's hiking, or helping him remind passers-by around him that someone is hiking.I don't like to be nosy, and I don't like to watch the excitement.So he quickened his pace and continued to run forward, the air that was exhaled was scattered behind his body, and the street lamps stretched the shadow of the person so long that it was inconvenient.

"Hi, hi, hi!" Hey voices rang in my ears one after another, followed by the sound of electric motorcycles.Then a big fat hand grabbed my shoulder.I was taken aback, and my immediate reaction was to shake the hand off quickly, then straighten up and look back.It turned out to be Fatty the chef in the restaurant, and there was a fool who was hilarious along the way, it was me.

I looked at him inexplicably.The weather was extremely cold, and he was wearing a thick padded jacket, which made him look even bigger.

"I'm calling you, didn't you hear me, why are you running all the time!" He winked at me, as if if I didn't run away, I would be afraid that he might plot something wrong.

I hate this frivolous look, and I hate his self-righteous smiling face even more.I had a bad face and clenched my fists.We don't know each other that well, so it's not good to go our own way, and we don't know each other well enough to say hello.And the snow particles are getting bigger and bigger, and it's freezing cold, so I have to hurry back, take a hot bath, and write a letter to grandma, so I don't have time to delay on the road.Thinking of this, without further ado, I immediately turned my head and ran forward.

"Hey, hello, hello, how did you go, didn't you hear me talking to you?" The fat man seemed to be confused, and hurriedly pushed the electric car to catch up.His electric scooter is small and dirty, and it carries a fat man as big as a mountain, which makes people feel pitiful and cruel.

"Don't go, where are you going? I can send you off!"

"Why do you wear so little, is it cold?"

"Hey, hey, don't go so fast. Do you have bad ears and can't hear me? Are you dumb, can't you speak!" The fat man kept chasing after me, I really don't know what is the meaning of this person's nonsense!

"Oh my God, what a pity. You are so handsome, but you are dumb and deaf. It doesn't make sense. I praised you for being handsome today, but you're still blushing. Could it be that the heat from the kitchen smoked you!"

"But it's okay, I won't dislike you, we can be good friends. Oh yes, I forgot you can't hear me!"

The man is chattering and humming, I have seen it for a long time.But it was the first time I had seen him following along, chatting endlessly regardless of what others thought.I wish I could punch him on the fat face and let him know that I am not easy to mess with.

The fat man really didn't know anything, he pushed the electric car and walked in front of me with clumsy steps.Then, in sign language, he patted the back of the electric car, pointed to other places, and said in cooperation, "I, take you, back, home!"

Hey, I found this person really interesting. Is it because he is too fat, fat has taken away his IQ.Blocking the way in the cold weather and acting stupid for me.I have put my fists on my chest to demonstrate to him, I hope he understands, walk on both sides of the road, otherwise the blood will flow into rivers, don't blame me for being too heavy.

"Ah, I didn't mean any harm, I just wanted to send you home! Hey, it's all because I haven't learned dumb language!" Fatty is indeed stupid, and he can't understand at all when he sees my fist.He also put on an innocent and pitiful look, showing deep sympathy for me.With a sincere face, he pursued persistently, and after blocking my way again, he repeated the action just now.

He pretended to smile innocently, and looked with wide and pure eyes, hoping that I would accept his kindness.He didn't seem entirely harmless.I'm no longer the me who didn't know anything.When everyone has the same gay mentality, it is easy to see some problems from the eyes.

Maybe it's because he suddenly saw the problem, and he doesn't reject Fatty so much; maybe it's because the weather is too cold and he doesn't want to entangle him.I didn't punch the fat man with my fist, and I didn't seem too angry to glare at him.He just said coldly: "No need, I'll be there soon!" Then he avoided the fat man and ran away quickly.It even meant to run away a little bit.

It's hard to explain why you want to escape, maybe it's only effective and direct to escape.For people like me, I have always been a coward, a spiritually disabled person.I was afraid to face it and didn't have the courage to admit it.I can pretend to be a lot of myself, but it is difficult to return to the real side.

The fat man was very surprised, and his surprised face made it impossible to doubt it.He said, "Ah, you can talk!"

His surprised expression has not subsided, I have quickly turned into a small alley, and then disappeared into this kind of dark old house everywhere.The dark old houses are very dense and chaotic one by one.The first time I found here, I had to mark the wall to prevent getting lost.Otherwise, it may be hard to find if you look for it in the middle of the night.

Fatty may never know that on a bitterly cold night, when he called his colleague who had just worked with him from behind, what his colleague thought was that he wanted to beat him all over the place.Thankfully, I didn't.Because the fat man will be the first friend in my life.Where I never, never thought I had friends, I identified fat.

Returning to the rented single house, the warmth that greets you makes you feel at ease.Turn on the light, and the light is shining.Lie on the bed and wrap your body tightly with the quilt.He raised his head and looked out of the window. There seemed to be ice flowers blooming on the window, and it was snowing heavily outside.

grandmother!Not sure where to start.The pen is turning back and forth on the finger, and the thoughts are like messy snowflakes falling in disorder.

I am fine!I want to tell her that everything is fine with me.Although her grandson is a lunatic in the eyes of others.But now, he can really do well.

How are you!Tears flowed down.Grandma, grandma must be blaming me for not going back, don't you want grandma?

The choked tears fell drop by drop. This letter was written for a long time.I tried my best to fabricate two years of happy working life, and I also wrote about the stupid fat man I met tonight.I hope grandma can relax and forgive some of my unfilial piety when she sees it.

After the fat man saw my indifference that night, he not only failed to push him away, but became more enthusiastic, almost clingy. In the end, you were so clingy that you had no temper, so just let him go.He is always brooding, saying that you ran away alone that night, abandoning him in the snow, cold and heartless.It was too much to pretend to be deaf and dumb, cheating his feelings and hurting his fragile heart.His remarks always make other colleagues laugh, but I don't know where the laughing point is.He is different from the hooligan talk of the workers on the construction site. He puts the focus on you and makes you a person who makes everyone laugh because he has an affair.I was very repulsed by him at first, but in the process of slowly getting in touch with him, I realized that the fat man is indeed a simple and thoughtless person. He always has an enthusiastic attitude towards things and people he likes. Do it your own way, and often do what you can.In some respects I see him and I have the same shadow, but we are very different from each other.He always likes to talk, talk non-stop, no matter how silent I am, and I cherish words like gold, he can talk endlessly, just like turning on the radio, talking there alone.It is more troublesome than the radio, always asking questions.He had a lot of questions and asked, "Xiaodong, where do you live? We all know each other so well, why don't you tell me where you live?"Xiaodong, how old are you? You look 21 or [-] years old, but you always feel very mature and knowledgeable in your bones?He asked, in fact, you don't speak on the surface, but you keep thinking about problems in your head, right?He continued to ask, Xiaodong, have you ever been to a KTV? Singing is fun, and you won't feel tired if you sing all night?Xiaodong, have you ever been to a nightclub?There are countless handsome men and beauties to see inside, I have been there several times!I was very shy when I went there for the first time. I lingered at the door of the nightclub for a long time before I mustered up the courage to go in.Later, I became more courageous, but I went there several times one after another, but found nothing.Let's go together next time, shall we?Xiaodong, where is your hometown? Do you have older brothers and sisters? I heard that people with older brothers and sisters live a different life than an only child like me. I don’t know the specific difference. It should be that they feel more happiness !Xiaodong, he still wants to say, you will find that you really don't know when he is going to talk.He said, you look cool and very attractive when you don't speak.Is this why you don't like to talk?