through those heavy years

It didn't take long to see Luo Feng and Wang Caixia coming out of the bungalow on the other side of the factory with all smiles on their faces.Wang Caixia was holding a bag of snacks in her hand, feeding Luo Feng a mouthful from time to time.Then they entered their rented bungalow like a loving young couple.In the happiness revealed in this kind of acting like a baby, one can see through at a glance, a person is extremely happy and satisfied, as if soaked in a honey pot, you can care about nothing, ignore everything, and only have the other person in your eyes, like I used to be just like Luo Feng.

The feet standing on the ground seem to be embedded in the concrete floor.There was no wind at all in the corner, and the sun that was about to set still scorched my head with sweat.If there is anything else to say, at this moment of clarity.I want to say, Wang Caixia, can I beg you, please give me and Luo Feng more time to spend together, let me accumulate more sweet memories about love.Maybe, I won't look at you and feel the heart-piercing sadness.I will bless you all and leave.I will feel happy because Luo Feng is happy.But, I just can't now, I can't bless you.On the contrary, I will curse you and hope that you will not last long.Who calls the memory of love not enough.

It was very dark that night, and my people didn't know where to wander.When returning to the dormitory, the snores of the roommates were as loud as usual.But I know that the place that was once full of warmth has become a cold cellar.

The next day, I found the contractor and said that I must be transferred to Luo Feng's group to work.The contractor is even fatter than last year, and his character outside is still unsightly.The contractor thought that the workload of the team I was in was not heavy, and Luo Feng's team could advance the progress a little, so he didn't refuse.

I'm going to see him tomorrow, and I'm working with him all day, I don't know how to describe my mood at this moment.Sometimes it will be sad to suffocate, and sometimes it will be as calm as stagnant water.Restrain yourself not to think too much, but your head does not listen to the mission.Fear, worry, numbness, cold-blooded, all kinds of different selves, entangled, and formed a self that was unfamiliar to him, and terrifying.

The sky is slightly brighter, and I have already got up and arrived at the boiler group.Sit quietly in an inconspicuous place.Chaoyang is like a baby just waking up, a mass of red, as if the soft skin will be cut open if touched.I sat like a squatting Buddha statue, watching the sunlight gradually brighten up.The workers came to work one after another, and Luo Feng soon appeared in front of my eyes with a bright face.

His bright smile is full of happiness and love.Sadly, how much I once wanted to see him happy, but I couldn't face his happiness at this moment.Since his happiness will evolve into torture to me in a cruel way.

The contractor also came.Transfer me to another group, he needs to come over and arrange specific work.Standing in front of some workers with tight flesh and rough skin, he looked like a leader.He searched the crowd carefully, but he didn't find me, so he asked loudly, "Is Wang Xiaodong still here?"

Everyone was puzzled and looked at the contractor.The contractor said: "I transferred Wang Xiaodong to the boiler team. The boiler team has a heavy workload and needs to be properly adjusted. It's just that Wang Xiaodong is always late these days. It seems that life is too good."

Sitting in that corner, staring at Luo Feng intently.I could just see Luo Feng standing straight in front of the contractor.When he heard that the contractor was going to transfer me, there was a flicker of sorrow in his eyes, and then he had a very complicated expression.Seeing his abnormality, even if he was at a loss for a second, he felt relieved.In some days, he didn't forget me ruthlessly, at least my changes could affect his mood.

Standing up, I felt stiff all over.When I walked out, the long shadow behind me seemed to hold me back, and my steps were very heavy.A worker was the first to see me and shouted to the contractor, "Here we are, right behind you!

Luo Feng raised his head instantly and looked at me with piercing eyes.I have lost weight, my eyes are dull, my skin is yellow, my hair is messy, I don’t have the usual style and appearance, and I don’t look good at all, and I haven’t heard my workers call me a little milk for a long time.I look down and out, and people must be disgusted when they see it.But I don't know why, this image makes me feel safe.

The contractor said: "Here we come, why are you still hiding behind, looking listless!"

Walk straight and don't answer the contractor.The sunlight accompanied my figure, and the side became hazy.Looking at Luo Feng, just like Luo Feng staring at me with piercing eyes.Looking at it, Luo Feng smiled brightly at me.It is this smile that made me want to possess it forever when I saw it for the first time.

I didn't smile, I stood still in the crowd, still with the same expressionless face.

The contractor quickly assigned the work.I have the same type of work as Luo Feng, and I am responsible for handling dangerous matters such as moving pipelines and going to high altitudes.Whenever I do things, I work with Luo Feng, and we basically don't stay ten meters apart when we do things during the day.It's ridiculous to think about it. In the past, everyone would come to see him secretly, but now they get along with each other as they wish, but there is a sense of irony in the incompatibility.Seeing him every day always feels unreal.It seems that the physical body and the spiritual consciousness are separated, staring blankly at the person in front of me, remembering the long past, eager to integrate the past and touch the familiar touch, but often come down, physically and mentally exhausted, like the moon in the mirror, everything is in a trance, Stretch out your hand and it will be broken.

Luo Feng and I never spoke a word during the first day.He was doing things next to me several times, looking at me, hesitating to speak.He really wanted to take the initiative to say something, but he couldn't find anything to say.There seemed to be nothing to say between us, and we were a little disconnected.

The next day, he finally thought of it and exclaimed.When I said it, I stuttered a little, with an unnatural expression, "Have you done it? I will return the money you deposited in my card before!"

It turned out to be about saving money.All along, when I was paid, I took a bus with him to the city and deposited the money in his account.During the period, I said that I need to apply for a card, but there is always a long queue every time I go, and I don’t have any holidays to apply for a card, so this matter has been delayed.In fact, I also like to store money in his card in my heart.In my opinion, this is the sustenance of emotion and the possession of nothingness.

I used to always love to get involved in some irrelevant things, but now I realize that it is so childish and ridiculous.If I can go back to the past, I will do some practical things, and maybe I can get something.

Now I haven't saved money for a few months, it's in the pillow on the bed, it doesn't matter if it's safe or not.Recalls bits and pieces about our trip to the city to save money.Eat ice cream, go online, talk about girls.He said that we couldn't raise a city girl who showed her breasts and back, so he found Wang Caixia, a well-wrapped country girl.

All the memories are inseparable from Wang Caixia. Even though she was not there at that time, she could be everywhere and penetrate into every hole.Even my good memories from the past are not let go.Everything will erode, rot and perish after she comes.

I haven't spoken for a long time, and I don't hold any resentment towards Luo Feng emotionally.I tried to talk back to him, and I said, "I don't have a card. Give me the card, and I'll deposit money into your card!"

He was a little excited and echoed his words for me instead of silently.He said: "Well, I will give you the card on time every month, and the password has not changed. After you save the money, you can give it to me whenever you want."

According to what he said, he meant to let me save money by myself, and he would never take a bus with me to the city again.Because he has someone to accompany him.

I said, "Aren't you going with me?"

"Oh!" He scratched his head with a smirk and said, "If you don't mind, then you have to go with me and Caixia."

"Of course, if you want to go alone with Caixia, that's fine, I don't have any objections!" He said this, feeling something was wrong, stuck out his tongue, and then fell silent.

I don't express any opinions, just looking at the smile on his face when he said the word "Caixia", thinking, if your Caixia disappears from your life, you will never see this person again, you Will there still be a deep smile when the name is mentioned, and will everything return to the original point?

This idea seems to be a kind of curse, which has been circling in my mind.I have insisted that Wang Caixia robbed me of all my happiness, even my memories.This kind of persistent thinking is even worse when I see Wang Caixia picks up Luo Feng from the power plant every afternoon after get off work.She is fat and white.Waiba walking is also becoming more and more obvious.Every day before the sun sets, she stands on the first floor and shouts towards the gap on the third floor: "Luo Feng, I'm off work, I'll wait for you downstairs!" Her voice is bold and unrestrained, exaggerating the sweetness of love.In terms of love, she has always been brave enough to hold on to it.It is precisely because of this character that she was able to win Luo Feng.

Every time I hear Wang Caixia's voice, I immediately pay attention to Luo Feng.Like other workers, he had a smile on his face.It's just that the workers laughed, and Luo Feng smiled shyly.With his smile like this, people can't see how deep his love for Wang Caixia is, but I know that he enjoys the life of being taken care of after get off work every day.He longs for someone who can be his long-term partner in life.So he is happy.

Luo Feng was working now, regardless of whether there was any remaining work in hand, he would put it down without hesitation, then went down the stairs to the first floor, walked through the pipes to the door, and returned home with Wang Caixia.He doesn't even want his own principles, women are always the most effective oxidizer to change men.At the exit, Wang Caixia jumped up to greet her without delay, and then held hands, just like what I saw when I was renting their house last time, with a smile on her face, and walked on the road affectionately.

I often follow behind them.Sometimes when Luo Feng turned his head and saw me, he would stop and wait for me, and then said to me: "Xiaodong, why don't you eat at my place!"

Wang Caixia also showed an inviting smile, her hand was still on Luo Feng's arm.Two loving people form a family in this strange place, and invite a lonely person who doesn't even know what a family is to be a guest.This is a pair of warm hands stretched out, which makes people deeply moved.However, even if I am willing to get in touch with Luo Feng more, I am not willing to face their family.I walked straight forward, leaving a long shadow in the sunlight.