through those heavy years

What society is like, I don't know.I only know that I am a boy, and I can't let Teacher Zhou think that I am artificial too much.And I can admit to her, I can go after her and say something to show that I am not very angry now.It's a pity that I really haven't spoken for a long time, and I haven't spoken normally, so I blurted out: "I don't like twitter!"

As soon as this remark came out, I realized that it was very inappropriate.Isn't this scolding Mr. Zhou for chirping?I'm a person who really only swears at people.Suddenly I blushed a little, and felt that I had to say sorry.However, it seems that these three words have never been said, and it seems that they can't even pronounce them. They are stuck in their throats and can't say anything.

"Haha!" Fortunately, Teacher Zhou didn't mind and could still laugh out loud.I felt a sense of amnesty.

Compared with many girls, Teacher Zhou is not arrogant or weak.Generosity, understanding of people's hearts.is a good girl.

Now, I know that she asked me to come out today and she has something to say, so I don't waste time with her, and I don't have to care about what she has to say.I feel that I have been with her for a long time, and there is a sense of pressure.I still took the initiative to say: "What's the matter with you, just tell me!"

Teacher Zhou stopped laughing, looked at me, said "Oh", and found that I was serious, so she sat down seriously on a stone by the roadside, put the shoulder bag aside, and asked me to sit together .I didn't go over, just stood still and watched quietly.

She didn't force her, she thought it over, and said: "At the beginning, I thought you were arrogant, a boy who didn't know how to respect others, and ignored all discipline. Your head teacher also told me to stay away from you." You, because you are dangerous and weird. But later, I observed you many times with my own eyes, and found that you are not what I saw before, and you are not as exaggerated as your head teacher said. You are just too You have your own ideas and don't want to talk to others. You are very thoughtful and strong. You are not a simple boy. You have your story and your spiritual world, so I don't try to participate in it. I am now with Don't mind what you said. My intention is just to hope that you can treat me as a big sister, without defense and barriers, and can say something intimate."

She said with a gentle tone and a serious expression: "For example, we can talk. Tell me that you are now in the third year of high school, and your grades are above average. Do you have any plans for your studies, or do you have any expectations for your future? "

The future and expectations can be said to have been kneaded thousands of times in my heart.It's just that I don't dare to think about my future too extravagantly. After all, in such a poor family, thinking about it makes me anxious.

At present, in our family's life, it is good to be able to maintain a balance.Once grandma came home very late. When she got home, her face was white and pale, and she was sitting on the threshold, panting heavily, and her forehead was covered with cold sweat.When I got closer, I saw bruises and black marks all over my legs, which were swollen out of shape.I shed tears immediately, terrified, and asked my grandma what was going on, saying that I didn't sit at work.Grandma said, it's okay, it will swell after sitting for a long time.I said no, go to the hospital quickly, or it will get worse.Grandma said, don't go, just bear with it.Seeing a doctor is just to prescribe some painkillers, which are useless and a waste of money.I couldn't hold back grandma, so I could only watch her suffer from pain.I know that in the final analysis, grandma is reluctant to spend money, because she wants to raise a huge sum of money for her grandson to go to college.I blamed myself, and the lingering thought in my heart after this scene was that I didn't even have the ability to take my grandma to see a doctor, and my grandma even saved money for my doctor's treatment.Am I too useless, or am I too cruel.My grandma makes me miserable!

Teacher Zhou said, "Don't you want to talk to me about this?"

I bowed my head and said nothing, these chats were meaningless, empty talk, and made people feel tired.

Teacher Zhou saw that I didn't answer for a long time, and he didn't know if he had touched my pain, or if this person was too closed, unwilling to say anything, and there was some inherent deficiency.Teacher Zhou sighed slightly, summoned up courage, looked at me tentatively and nervously, and said, "Actually, it's no problem for you to be admitted to Chongben University, right?"

I "swish" to meet Teacher Zhou's eager gaze.Sure enough, she had found out in this regard.Many teachers disdain to find out that Mr. Zhou should have been paying attention since the high school entrance examination in February, and he has been noticing it now, and now he wants to explain clearly.In fact, speaking with a little conscience, thank her for her hard work on me.However, I cannot admit these, these are despicable things in my heart, and things that are too dirty cannot be exposed by anyone in my nature.

Teacher Zhou saw a trace of shock on my expression, and she was fully confident in her heart.She said: "I have no malice, and don't blame me for being abrupt. I hope that I can untie your worries so that you can face your true self. I hope..."

"No!" Teacher Zhou didn't finish speaking, but was interrupted by my strong voice.It's not something to talk about, it's not a concern that can't be solved, it's just one person's way of doing it, it's not a thing.

Teacher Zhou was stunned for a moment, but she couldn't just be defeated like this, she had already retreated several steps.With a positive tone, she stood up and walked in front of me.I was a head taller than her, and my lowered eyes met her burning gaze.

"You don't have to lie to me. Every time you take a math test, you miss the next few big questions. You know how to do it, but you miss it. I don't know why, but there must be a reason!"

"I won't do it!" I could only reply coldly.

She was serious, without a hint of humor, and even a friendly smile was completely invisible. "Xiaodong, I wouldn't say that if I'm not fully sure! I have done practice questions several times, and many students couldn't do it. You can do it, and you have a clear idea of ​​solving the questions, and your answers are clever and accurate. But in the monthly exam or the usual When taking the exam, you will leave the big questions behind and don’t even look at them. If this can’t be used as a basis, I can say something. Sometimes the difficulty of multiple choice questions and fill-in-the-blank questions is not as difficult as that of the later questions. How much easier are the big questions. You can do the multiple choice questions and even fill in the blanks correctly, but it is impossible for you to be able to do the big questions later. So, it’s not that you can’t do it, but you’re deliberately covering up your real grades!”

As he said that, he took out some folded test papers from his pink shoulder bag, and said, "I don't want to go too far. This is the evidence I collected, do you want to see it!"

My face was flushed red.Usually I can only touch some big questions in the exercises, so I will try my best to answer those big questions.I also feel that many teachers don't pay too much attention, and they are not confident in mathematics, so they don't deliberately cover it up.The real purpose of Mr. Zhou's coming out to "walk around" is for this!

Turn your head one way and can no longer have a good attitude.Teacher Zhou has interfered and even harmed my life.I said: "I don't know how to do it, it's all copied, please don't ask too much!" After finishing speaking, I turned around and left, running slowly.

"Xiaodong!" Teacher Zhou kept calling me from behind.She trotted after him, wanting to say something comforting.But I am not angry, and it is rare that I am not angry with a teacher.I ran, the wind blowing in my face and messing with my thoughts.My running posture was very ugly, with my head tilted forward and my arms raised very high.I ran so fast that I left Teacher Zhou behind from a distance.

Life longs for peace because it is not peaceful.I want to keep the waves from splashing no matter how big the stones are thrown by others.For the time being, don't talk about the future, don't talk about expectations.Because there is confidence, there is also longing.It's just that I can't feel at ease, it seems that there are still many things to happen, and that can't be stopped by my own strength.

The trees by the roadside and the grass on the field ridges are peaceful and happy.Then, I also want to pursue my happiness and peace.

I thought Mr. Zhou would talk to me again, but fortunately he didn't.As usual, she will not ask me to answer questions, and will not have any objections to my sleeping in class.She gave lectures in nice and gentle Mandarin, fiddled with her hair from time to time, and she was indescribably elegant.When she was giving a lecture, she would still look at me occasionally, and then smile kindly, as if there was no unpleasant conversation between us last time.My loneliness and weirdness didn't affect Mr. Zhou's mood in the slightest.

Like I said, Teacher Zhou is a smart guy.She knows how to grasp the situation and use retreat as advance.She knows how to get along with an adolescent boy with a weird personality and problematic thinking correctly, and even let this weird adolescent boy recognize her way.She will not force, will not push an inch.In her unique way, people don't want to be angry with her, and even feel grateful for her kindness.

The students were very curious about the conversation between me and Mr. Zhou.If they had to see the result from that conversation, it was undoubtedly that Wang Xiaodong became more and more fond of skipping classes, and even picked Teacher Zhou's math class to skip.

The students were looking forward to the teacher's class last week, but I deliberately skipped Teacher Zhou's class.This has become something worth spreading widely.The school is a small society in a big society, and it is rumored that sometimes it moves no slower than the big society.Everyone complained for Mr. Zhou.Because Teacher Zhou is a beautiful woman, Wang Xiaodong's refusal to attend her class is a kind of blasphemy against the beauty and a kind of arrogance.

Actually I don't want to either.But after knowing the secret of Teacher Zhou spying on me, she always felt restless in class and restless when she fell asleep.I was very tired and couldn't sleep, and the direct consequence was that my life pattern was disordered, my mental state was not good, and my thinking and mood were not good.It's a good thing, walking steadily, but suddenly something is wrong somewhere, causing the whole situation to be chaotic.I can't let myself go on like this. If my life is irregular, I have to find the reason, just like I have to find water to drink when I am thirsty.Therefore, I chose to adjust to sleep in English class, and Mr. Zhou's math class was not attended at all.Because I clearly understand that as long as I don't see Teacher Zhou, I can find the balance point in my life.

Mr. Zhou should be very angry about my actions.No matter how good the cultivation is, no matter how high the quality is.I can't stand the kindness of being a good person, but the person bites back.In fact, it doesn't matter if you are angry or sad.There is still the last year left in the three years of high school. Teacher Zhou is destined to return to the city in the future. At that time, who will have any intersection with whom?