through those heavy years

The process of obtaining forgiveness was long and painful. After the end, I didn't want to stay for a moment, and I got up and left.Seeing that we were leaving, the contractor said coldly, "Take this fruit back." I don't know if he was being polite on purpose, or pretending to be arrogant.

Just as Luo Feng was about to decline, I preemptively said, "Okay!"

Then he said with concern: "Boss, the scratches on your face are better!"

The contractor touched his face, his eyes bursting with anger.But it's not easy to attack, just stare at me.

After I came out, I was in a good mood. The foreman was really shameless, and he wanted to set up a memorial archway after he did it.Luo Feng, on the other hand, was completely speechless, he gave me countless blank stares, and finally threw a sentence: "It's hopeless!"

The workers are happy from the bottom of their hearts for me to go to work as usual.It's just that after listening to Luo Feng's words, I have a grudge against them in my heart.Of course, I know the general principles.You can't blame others for all the ugly words. From a certain point of view, their behavior is still simple, kind and sincere.It's because I'm too stupid and ignorant of the world, I can't understand the basic principles, which makes people have an illusion.But after all, there is a wound. I am like this, and it is difficult to heal.

But because of the foreman incident, Luo Feng and I became closer.In the past, I thought he was good and willing to get along and communicate more.Now I regard him as the best and am willing to risk my life for a long relationship.

Luo Feng said: "What's the matter with you, you have to report to me when you poop and go to the toilet. I actually thought you were cute when you were not talkative, but now that you are talkative, why do I find it so annoying!" After finishing speaking haha laughing out loud.

I asked back, "Is there?" I really thought I didn't realize it.

Luo Feng said: "Not yet, call me every day when you come back from get off work. People who don't know think you are my little wife!"

"Bullshit!" I rolled my eyes at Luo Feng. When I first met this person, I thought it was very sunny, but after a long time, I felt very crooked.No wonder they do things that are bigger and bigger, haha!

But thinking about it, I always report to him whenever I have to do something, such as washing clothes, drying clothes, shopping, shitting, etc.Pursue the reason, as if I regard a person as a close person in my heart (comparable to the status of grandma in my heart), it is particularly sticky.I remember when I was a child, when I came home from get out of class, the first thing I looked for was my grandma.I shouted "Grandma, where's grandma!", but didn't respond, so I searched everywhere, and I didn't know what I was looking for, but I felt relieved when I found it.When I was a child, my grandma was the only one in my world, and the others basically turned a blind eye.Now there is only Luo Feng in my world, and people still ignore him.I always have a lot of worries. What I worry about is that grandma and Luo Feng have different emotional positions in my heart.

Luo Feng saw something was wrong with me and said: "I always feel that something has changed in you. Since I talked to you last time, I found that you don't even smile at other workers. Your life circle can't revolve around me. Alone. You have to learn to integrate into the group and communicate with everyone!"

Luo Feng thought about it, and continued: "You can't be too clear about what you like and hate. Didn't I tell you that even if you don't like it in your heart, you should pretend to be polite on the surface. Maybe something will happen one day, and you won't be the target of public criticism. !"

I understand what Luo Feng said.But in my heart, I just can't do it.A few days ago, the salary was paid.Big Fatty came over obsequiously and said to me, "Little Nanny, the salary is paid, it's time for a treat!"

When I heard this, I was so angry that I really thought I was a fool.Qi said: "Didn't you also get paid yourself? Why did I treat you to dinner when I got paid? Why didn't you treat me to dinner when you got paid?"

Fatty was at a loss for words, he didn't expect me to say that, he walked away awkwardly, since then he never dared to lie about my treats and blackmail me for meals.That's how I am, and it's clear that grievances and grievances must be repaid.I still remember one time, when I was in the fifth grade of elementary school.get out of class is over, go home to find grandma.Grandma is not in the house, and went to the field to fork sesame seeds.The land in our village is a large area densely packed together. Around our land, there are also several families who are making sesame seeds.I found the field and wanted to help grandma with something.Grandma's legs are not good, she sits in the colorful oilcloth to do things, and from time to time, she greets the villagers with a few words.I don't want to pay any attention to any of these neighbors and folks, and I feel in the way even if I take a look at them.Among them, there was a family who hated it even more, which made me really want to chop them up.Because when I was in the fourth grade, their family hung me up and beat me, and even beat my grandma.I am very disgusted with grandma talking to them from time to time.Doesn't grandma hold grudges, don't she hate her?I was puzzled by this.I also always remind grandma not to talk to such people, but grandma never listens, which makes me feel the pain of hating iron but not steel.

I do things without saying a word.I do things quickly and efficiently. It takes my grandma two to ten minutes to copy a bundle of sesame stalks, but I can easily finish it in five minutes.Just as I was about to finish handcuffing the fifth bundle, a woman's miserable cry of pain suddenly came from the field next door. The cry instantly attracted the attention of five or six people who were busy in the field, and I followed the sound. In the past, by coincidence, it was the mistress of the family I hated so much in Murakami. Her face was contorted and she was in so much pain that she looked like she had been bitten by a snake.

Seeing this, people in other fields hurried over.The legs of the woman who was bitten by the snake were black and swollen.The snake that bit her was a kind of soil snake commonly found in rural areas. It was poisonous and had soil-colored skin.

When grandma saw it, she also ran over, and said eagerly, "Hurry up, sprinkle some soil on it, and then tie the wound with a towel, so as not to let the poisonous gas spread!"

I saw that my grandma had bad legs and wanted to run over to join in the fun, so I hurriedly yelled to stop: "Grandma, what are you doing running there? Her legs are not good. She is a wicked person with evil rewards, let the snake bite her to death!"

My words were clearly heard by the five or six villagers who were in a hurry.The woman didn't die in the end, but I, because this sentence was almost drowned by the saliva of the villagers.People in the village say that I am a ruthless, ruthless, brutish, unconscionable, and unrecognizable, heinous bastard.

So since I was a child, I was the one who wanted to isolate the villagers, and the villagers also isolated me.Since you hate it, it's really hard to pretend to like it.As I said, it is very difficult to learn a set of masks.

At night, I started not wanting to accompany me to read books in the dormitory. Like many leisurely and sentimental people, I went out for a walk.

There is a dike outside the construction site, and there is a whole lawn under the dike.Many people like to walk on the embankment, then look at the empty lawn, look at the shadows of trees in the distance, and enjoy the idiotic scene of the setting sun and the lonely geese flying together.

Luo Feng asked me why I always like to go out for a walk recently.I don't know how to answer, and when I haven't clearly understood my thoughts, I just feel depressed.Even if he was happy with Luo Feng, this kind of depression still lingered and even became stronger.I had no choice but to tell Luo Feng that the dormitory was too boring, and I wanted to go out for a walk, and I also liked the beauty of the sunset glowing through half the sky, dyeing the grass and trees, and the leisurely crowd red, it felt very pleasant.Luo Feng said, really, he has never known that there is a sunset on the construction site to enjoy.Then I was willing to put down the book and accompany me out to enjoy the scenery.

Because he was by his side, with the beautiful scenery as a foil, after a long time, it gradually became clear.

Unwilling to admit it, there has always been a hidden worry in my heart, and I gradually dissected my true emotions.Has been deliberate or not deliberate, still failed to escape the clutches of the truth.I, a boy, since I like another boy.He is a boy, and this boy is Luo Feng.

Since when did it start, when I saw his bright smiling face for the first time, when I shared a shaggy head with him, when I saw him standing on the path in the middle of the night waiting for me under the moonlight, when I endured his thick Deep concern.Always meet the obscure and jerky side at that moment inadvertently.Hundreds of turns and thousands of turns, just waiting to face down.

I have thought about it, even doubted it.Are you a monster, why do you like boys?Am I the only weird person in this world, full of loneliness and sadness, who likes a boy!Am I from outer space, beyond the preferences of normal earth humans!

I don't know, I don't know why.I would leave a place of disappointment soaked in tears, thinking I had fallen into a land of tenderness, but never thought of falling into another place of distress.However, distress is mixed with joy, contradictions are connected with cause and effect, life seems to be stuck, and the whole outlook on life is very complicated.

I don't want to think about it yet.Willing to seek peace in this conflict.What can be wrong, try to let yourself accept it.After all, this is a pure secret love, blooming flowers; it is a loneliness, tears mixed with happiness.It doesn't pollute anyone, it's just a handful of clear springs hidden in my heart that can't see the sun.Well, I'll let it exist like this.Even in the days to come, it will be accompanied by great pain, but at this moment, I am willing to accept it in a way of remembering!

Sitting on the embankment, there is a very exciting thing that I want to tell Luo Feng in particular.That is I will be online.Surfing the Internet is not climbing the Internet. Surfing the Internet is really wonderful, even more interesting than color TV.

Luo Feng said: "Go online?! Is it the kind of Internet that goes to an Internet cafe?"

It turned out he knew.I shared it passionately, but I was half cold, "You also go online?"

"No, I heard it!"

"Really!" I became happy again, "It would be great not to, someday I will take you to the Internet to meet the world!"

"Hehe!" He laughed, and then stroked my head, which was very heartwarming.

With eager anticipation, I planned to take Luo Feng to an Internet cafe to experience what it means to surf the Internet when I get paid at the end of the month and go to the city to save money.It's a pity that an unexpected event happened on the way, which changed the fate of Luo Feng and me.