through those heavy years

The moment you step on the train, a new chapter in your life begins.I can't tell the feelings in my heart, just let myself think that if I decide, I will decide, don't worry too much, don't regret it.Just remember that the road is ahead.

Looking out the window, the scenery passing by is fresh and beautiful.Accompanied by the noisy and different atmosphere in the carriage, the mood slowly returned to calm due to this decision.After resolutely leaving the place where I was born and raised for 18 years, I am about to go to a strange and mysterious city.For rural children like me who have always been born and raised, because of their longing for the city, no matter how sad and sad they are, after a little deliberate neglect, they slowly turn into a little excitement.

It happened that year, neither the meaning nor the responsibility, just a poor rural boy who was completely ignorant.After getting off the train, with jerky eyes and a cautious expression, I can't wait to raise my head and look carefully at the city I've longed for for a long time, and then came to suddenly.

I have a slight understanding of the outline of the city, which I got from the urban TV series broadcast on the black and white TV.It is indeed an extraordinary feeling and shock to be able to see the real city scenery at such a close distance.The high-rise buildings and magnificent bridges have indescribable splendor and splendor, making people have to marvel at the magic of construction workers; the spacious and clean roads, various shops and food stalls, and bustling crowds.The city has so many unique features that it can be overwhelming.Even the chic little trees and the fluffy grass and fluffy flowers in the frame around the road once made me miraculously think that the small trees, grass and flowers in the city are connected with human nature and will grow neatly spontaneously uniform.Hehe, thinking about coming to the city for the first time, there are always so many jokes.

Three boys who looked about sixteen or seventeen, wearing ghostly clothes, passed me, and couldn't help laughing.I stopped my admiring gaze, and slowly turned my head back, watching their mocking expressions and disdainful eyes watching me, as well as the colorful and strangely shaped hair on their heads.

The clothes I wear, even in the countryside, would be considered tattered, let alone standing in a corner of the city now.So I can understand their ridicule and contempt, but I cannot tolerate their rudeness and provocation.When I was in the country, I was known as a unique lunatic who was famous for being vitriolic, beating people regardless of life and death, and being cold-blooded and ruthless.The eyes are as sharp as a knife's edge. After long-term training and practice, once the angry eyes are wide open, people can feel the powerful lethality at a glance, so they have met masters.

At this time, I was looking back at them with this kind of eyes. They felt the counterattack and put away their smiles. Their eyes immediately turned fierce and looked at each other, and their expressions were very disdainful because they did not feel my gaze from a close distance.The three of them muttered a few times, as if they were discussing countermeasures. After a few minutes of stalemate, it can also be said that after they had discussed it, they decided to walk towards me with strange arrogant steps.

My eyes remained unchanged, and a sly smile appeared on the corner of my mouth.Is it necessary to fight with people in this strange city just after getting off the train, before the soles of the feet and the ground of the city generate heat?It seems that I am really a rotten meat, and I can provoke flies wherever I go.

There is no fear in my heart.Fighting and being threatened is psychologically conditioned.It's nothing more than going all out, at worst, you will die.I have always held this mentality, so even if I usually lose, it will make the opponent afraid of three points.

Three people came to me, each of them was thin and small, I was afraid that if they were added together, it would not be enough for me to fight.I'm also afraid that there will be no scale in the fight, and if he dies, then this trip to the city will not be in vain.

The three of them approached, and after the eyes of the two sides got closer and closer to each other, they finally smelled the strong smell of blood and were at a disadvantage.They didn't figure out their opponents, and they played big swords in front of people who have been in the battlefield like me, and they humiliated themselves.

"Where did you come from?" A man who looked only over 90 catties, looked very immature, and had a very high-pitched voice asked me.The tone is subconsciously a little restrained.

Because the other two are too young, they still pretend to be full of confidence on the surface, and they want to make me look good later.

I looked at them and couldn't stop laughing in my heart.Just these three eccentrics in costumes have the nerve to mock me.I grabbed the interrogator by the collar, and said in a cold tone: "You don't need to know where it came from. You just need to know that even if ten of you add up, it's not enough for me to fight with one hand. If you are sensible, get out as soon as possible, otherwise, a whole The fist will let you see the king of Hades. Besides, you three, your hair looks like a feather duster has been inserted crookedly, and your clothes are as bad as a dog eating shit and tearing you up. You have no right to make fun of others. Just for fun, you know?"

The person whose collar I grabbed suddenly turned pale from fright.The other two were a little aggressive and wanted to rush forward, but they were a little timid when they saw my series of brutal insults.I let go of the man's collar, and the man took a deep breath, then took two steps back, looking at me incredulously.

Naturally, they were very angry and unwilling, but they had scruples that I didn't understand at that time. They were afraid that I would have a background, because ordinary bumpkins are not so imposing and arrogant when they first arrive in a strange city.In view of the fact that people cannot be judged by their appearance, they have to be careful.He looked at me, pointed at me, said "You have kindness", and left with the other two people.

Watching them walk away, I couldn't help but smile.Because of this little episode, I felt that a powerful force hiding in my heart to conquer this city was gurgling out.I am such a person. People in the world slander me, deceive me, humiliate me, laugh at me, belittle me, belittle me, and lie to me. How should I deal with it?The answer was: "A tooth for a tooth!"

It has been a long time since I stood in a corner of the city and admired the scenery of the city.The large advertising picture of Yang Yuying hung horizontally on the building was looking at me and everyone with a sweet smile.It was a sunny and warm spring day, and I was looking forward to how my life would begin.

No matter where a person is, having enough to eat is the first priority, and only then can we talk about gaining a foothold.

When I was in the village, when I went to the pond to wash clothes early in the morning, I usually heard groups of aunts talking about so-and-so's family.There seems to be a huge information bank behind them, whether it is the news in the village far away, or the trivial matters in the neighbor's house, they can clearly know it.Every time I don’t want to listen, but their voices are very loud, and they keep pouring into my ears, so I can’t help but curse loudly: “Talk about your mother!”.Then the aunts in the village were so angry that they tried to avoid my laundry time every morning.

Of course, not everyone takes my insults seriously, they will choose to get used to it and ignore it.As long as I don't make excessive moves of splashing water or hitting people, they will still bravely and persistently talk about the affairs of a certain family at an appropriate volume.Fortunately, some news is not useless, and I didn't expect that because of their conversation, I would know the person who was itchy in my life.

Once they talked about a brother who was a few years older than me in the same village.He is handsome and handsome, and he happens to be working part-time in this city to earn money.They said that he earned more than 900 yuan a month, and in less than four years, he mailed [-] to [-] yuan home to repair and build a house.He was a sensible and obedient child, but unfortunately he was a little quieter and didn't read much.But a good upbringing is really a big difference compared to some people.

I know the elder brother they are talking about, but because one of us is at the head of the village and the other is at the end of the village, and our family backgrounds are very different.When did he go out to work, and mailed [-] to [-] yuan home to repair and build a house, he didn't even know.If they don't mention such a person, after a few years, I will completely forget about it.

People in the village talk about a child, no matter how sensible and beautiful, as long as he has not studied, he will definitely be labeled as a pity.I don’t know when, and I don’t know why, the adults in the village are almost uneducated, but they clearly and persistently believe in the creed that everything is inferior, and only reading is high, including my grandma.

There are some children in the village who are unwilling to study in every possible way.Some of them even started to get tired of studying when they were only in the second grade of elementary school. They would fight to the death not to study at home.Parents naturally won't give in, and press every step of the way.If the village primary school was unwilling to attend, they were sent to the town primary school.At that time, the town primary school required more than 200 yuan in tuition and miscellaneous fees, which was considered a high fee.But parents will not feel distressed. In order to let their children study, they will not hesitate to sell everything and go bankrupt.They found a relationship and spent a lot of money to send their children to the town primary school to study, but the child's desire not to study has already been weighed and determined.I can't last a month anywhere.So some stubborn kids would pack up their bedding and sneak home.When I got home, I didn't dare to face my parents.So I picked up the chalk I stole from the teacher and wrote on the gate: Mom and Dad, I, Hu Hansan, are back again!It was a greeting.Then relying on the dexterity of the body, he hid on the beam room.

His parents had been busy working outside all day regardless of the wind and the sun, and they hadn't stopped when they got home. When they looked at the gate without paying attention, they suddenly smoked from all orifices, stomped their feet on the ground, and said, "My little bastard!" As soon as I fell, I almost lost my breath.When he calmed down, without saying a word, he pulled out a thorny twig as thick as an arm from the crack of the door, and searched for it.On the hillside, in the woods, and alleys from house to house, I searched all over, but I couldn't find it.They were so mad, how could they have imagined that the child already knew that the most dangerous place was the safest place, and he had already slept soundly on the beam of his house all day long.

Whenever there is such a happy event, it will become a good joke for the villagers to pass the time.When they talk about other people's children, they will compare their own children in their hearts.Then they will be comforted psychologically. Fortunately, their children have not stopped studying, although their grades are not very good.Of course, if you have good grades, you don't compare them in your heart, but you have already made a high-profile statement in your mouth, making your child famous all over the world.Good at reading, but it is a sign of whether their genes are good or not, whether their children are smart or not, whether their future prospects are bright or not, whether their own faces are bright or not, and how bright they are.Reading can be said to be the only legitimate way for rural people to stand up, so reading has to be valued.

It is true that reading is really important.I don't mean to deny reading here.It’s just that for me, if I can’t afford to eat, I still go to school without any effort, and even beg to kneel down to study.Then I don't have the spirit of sacrifice.In the face of all humiliation, reading has no dignity.So my answer is very clear, I will choose to give up reading if I want to be dignified.Of course, my weird personality is beyond the understanding of ordinary people, and the decisions I made are naturally difficult for ordinary people to accept.