the other side of the fireworks

Pulling the ideal into reality, the first thing she felt was the pressure. Xu An had never been so clear about what she wanted. She wanted Xia Fengshu, and she wanted to create a life that belonged to them.She's going to get a job as a civil servant.

But she will not accept Jie Chu again, things are always contradictory, if she wants to go smoothly, she must compromise.However, this is a contradiction that Xu An will never compromise on. Her aunt and grandmother believed that she fell in love with a family man, so they kept silent about the identity of that person.The debate and persuasion around this issue seems to never end. My aunt emphasizes the reality and weakens love. The romance is not enough to eat, and the length of life is far beyond imagination.The aunt persuaded her to let go, "Xiao'an, do you know how difficult it is for more than 4000 people to compete for a position? Opportunities are fleeting. At this time, don't you mobilize all your connections to fight for it?"

"But I can't betray my feelings, it's not fair to Jiechu."

"Jie Chu has a deep affection for you. As long as you are willing, he would like you to come back to him. Do you know who Jie Chu's uncle is? Whether he succeeds or not depends on his nod." Auntie was in a hurry.

Grandma listened silently with her cigarette pipe in her mouth, looking at Xu An's expression from time to time.

Xu An said: "I don't know, I don't know much about his family's personnel relationship, and he rarely mentions it to me."

"Mom, look, this kid Jiechu is so righteous, he doesn't have the bad habits of those dandies at all, and he never bullies others with his door. Mom, tell me about Xiao'an, this matter is only a matter of Xiao'an nodding his head. "

"Is his uncle so sure?"

"Does it even need to be said?"

Grandma looked at Xu An again, "Xiao An, what is your sweetheart like?"

Xu An clenched his fists nervously, "She, although she has no ability, but...but...but I just like it."

"What's the matter, of course grandma knows that you like it, and it's been a while. If you don't meet, you should let grandma know what he does and how old he is."

"Grandma, we are still working hard, and we don't want to make it public now."

"Why is this child becoming less and less enlightened? The more you say that, the more disturbed grandma feels."

"Don't force me, if you love someone, you should think about him."

My aunt was anxious, "When do you want to think about him, what will you do?"

"I will prepare well for the interview. Except for me and Jiechu to get back together, you can ask me to do anything else."

"You child..." The aunt was at a loss for words, and the grandma licked the ashtray from her cigarette bag, got up and went back to the house.Both she and her aunt knew that Xu An had entered a dead end, and no one would pull her out.

Xia Fengshu filled out the form, called Tong Zhan, and they met at the cafe where they broke up.

Tong Zhan looked at Xia Fengshu's face carefully, and said, "You smile so kindly and gently in that poster. I have never seen you smile like that. Tell me, how much money can I see you smile like that once?"

Xia Fengshu had expected that Tong Zhan would not say a nice opening remark, so he said casually: "You didn't look carefully, don't you think it's fake? Half of it was made by a computer."

"Really? So you don't laugh like that."

"No." Xia Fengshu said coldly.

Tong Zhan smiled so hard that his canine teeth were exposed. Some people like Bo Hongyan to smile, but he just likes to make Xia Fengshu angry. People always have strange ideas. , that refreshing air made Tong Zhan want to stop.

Xia Fengshu handed the form to Tong Zhan, "How many chances do I have?"

"That depends on how many opportunities I have." Tong Zhan expressed his desire nakedly, without feeling dirty.Thanks to his childlike smile, Xia Fengshu just doesn't hate him.

"Why should I trust you!"

Tong Zhan said confidently: "You are starting to bargain, woman, so you are no exception."

"Do you think it's interesting for me to be with you in order to achieve my goal?"

"Interesting, I only stayed with you for the purpose of sleeping with you." Tong Zhan was confident, Xia Fengshu was in a bad mood, on the bed, she thought of the mattress she shared with Xu An, such a beautiful thing, should Does it work?

Tong Zhan also felt that the words were too explicit, "Just kidding, I didn't want my ex-girlfriend to be too downtrodden so I helped. Look at you, what are you wearing!"

Xia Fengshu was wearing a coat worth more than a hundred dollars, she didn't think it was bad, but she knew that people like Tong Zhan couldn't stand it. "I dressed worse than this when you knew me."

"Didn't I improve it for you? Why are you going back!"

"What's wrong with wearing this to work in the supermarket?"

Tong Zhan shook his head, "You just haven't changed your village girl mentality, that's why you're living as a refugee."

"Am I that bad?"

"Look back!" Tong Zhan pointed at a girl obliquely behind Xia Fengshu, "That's what a woman is. Do you think that she is the best when she looks ashamed? Women's self-cultivation starts from the inside out. Dressing takes up more than half of it, you have to learn this, don't waste your face."

Xia Fengshu glanced at the girl, she couldn't analyze the detailed attire, but the first impression was fashion, everything from hair to shoes was carefully matched, everyone has a love for beauty, Xia Fengshu also No exception, she just never had the conditions to pursue these and had to ignore or even ignore them.Xu An doesn't care about these, what she loves is herself, the xx Xia Fengshu, (not xx.) A certain level of love is the essence of loving a person, this level, Xu An has reached it early in the morning, and The man in front of her, maybe she also loves her own self.

"With this job, I have the capital to cultivate from the inside out."

"I'll help you." Tong Zhan said.

Xia Fengshu said, "How can I thank you?"

"You proposed this on your own initiative." Tong Zhan pretended to be innocent.

"Some favors cannot be owed."

Tong Zhan stared at Xia Fengshu, and said after a long time, "I just let you owe."

Tong Zhan paid the bill, took Xia Feng away, and bought a lot of clothes, shoes, and even underwear at the fashion store they had visited before.Tong Zhan's superb aesthetic ability is obtained from countless women, and Xia Fengshu knows that she is just one of them.

Xia Fengshu has moved, this time it is a clear water room, the top floor of an old-fashioned family building, the walls have not been painted for many years, the corner panes are all old and dirty, and the room still smells of sewer.

When Xu An entered the house, he complained, "Why didn't you tell me you moved!"

Xia Fengshu said: "Didn't I tell you this?"

"Don't tell me when you're looking for a house, or when you move, Xia Fengshu, what do you think I am?"

Xia Fengshu tore up old clothes to make rags. There was a large window in the living room. I don't know who lived there. The fly droppings on the glass window almost turned into a map. "Didn't I call you for work?"

Xu An was still unhappy, "When will you take me seriously."

Xia Fengshu handed her a rag and said: "Auntie is here, when you enter the door, your nose is not your nose, your face is not your face."

Xu An was indeed hit, but she did not admit that her bad mood was due to her aunt. "Why can't you discuss your affairs with me? Why do you rent such an old and dirty house? Why didn't you even call me to move? How did I tell you? You didn't take it to heart at all, did you?"

"What are you yelling at? My money is enough to rent a house like this. Just find a moving company to move."

"Who do you think I am to you?" Xu An stared into Xia Fengshu's eyes, she was looking for the truth of her feelings.

Xia Fengshu pulled Xu An and pushed open the bedroom door. There was a 1.5-meter-wide mattress on the 1.3-meter-wide bed.Xu An's anger subsided, and his mouth was crooked. Xia Fengshu gave her a white look, "Hurry up and work for me."

"Even so, you shouldn't make claims."

"Growing up, I've made my own decisions."

Xu An looked at the empty room and Xia Fengshu's pitifully few things, and said hotly: "I don't want you to live here, I want to give you a better place to live, don't you believe that I have the ability?"

"What ability do you have? You touch the money in your pocket, which cent did you earn?" Xia Fengshu was upset and irritable, and suddenly discovered the immaturity in Xu An's feelings, and his already fragile emotional confidence dropped instantly. A few percent.

Xu An was speechless, but what Xia Fengshu said was so right that there was no room for refutation.For the first time, feeling ashamed, Xu An had no reason to persuade herself to stay here. She strode out, but was hugged by Xia Fengshu from behind. Xia Fengshu regretted it. The days are numbered, and every minute and every second is extremely precious, and she is reluctant to let her go. "Sorry, don't be angry."

Xu An broke free and walked out without saying a word. Xia Fengshu hugged him again, "Don't go, I don't want to be alone."

"What face do I have to face you?"

"Xu An, please forgive me once." Xia Fengshu cried, and she suddenly realized that she was so afraid of the furious Xu An.

Xu An's heart softened, he put his head against the door, and remained silent for a while.Xia Fengshu held her tightly until she turned around and hugged Xia Fengshu in her arms.

What is the concept of maturity?Is it not extreme, is it low-key, is it relaxed?Everyone has their own understanding of maturity, Xia Fengshu thinks that she is more mature than Xu An, and what she proves most is that she has no illusions.She doesn't dream, and doesn't imagine things that have nothing to do with basic necessities of life.Her imagination is all in writing, where she doesn't have to take responsibility for her imagination, close the book, and all her fantasies are locked away.But she envied Xu An's fantasy, simply waiting for the future, step by step, step by step, every step is on a smooth road, she is open and tolerant, with sunshine above her head and shade behind her.Is character innate?If there is a chance to change the day after tomorrow, she wants to have Xu An's personality.

I love you so much I want to be you.

Chapter 25 With someone you love in your heart, there is another world, a world that cannot be surpassed.

Xu An bought two buckets of paint to paint Xia Fengshu's old rented house. She bought relatively cheap paint, brought a large stack of newspapers, and started painting from the bedroom. When Xia Fengshu got off work, she happened to paint in the hall. Fengshu couldn't hide her surprise. Seeing that Xu An was covered in paint from head to toe, like a poorly crafted handyman, and the height of the chair was not high enough, she folded a small square stool and stood on it, brushing the ceiling with her mouth half open. Xia Feng The tree was really worried that the paint would fall into her mouth.

"I'm back." Xu An didn't look at Xia Fengshu, but stared at the roller brush in his hand back and forth on the ceiling.

"You practice acrobatics!" Xia Fengshu put down his backpack, his eyes were already hot, but his tone was still cold.

Xu An hummed, his neck was raised stiffly, and he wanted to oil the corner of the wall wholeheartedly.Xia Fengshu's heart ached for her clumsy, but desperately striving appearance.

Throwing down his gloves, Xu An admired his masterpiece and said indifferently, "You...don't show a smile?"

Xia Fengshu held his enthusiasm and said coldly: "Where do I live tonight?"

It was severe winter at this time, although it was not as warm as the north, with snow and ice, but the temperature was three or four degrees above zero, extremely cold, and the house had just been painted, and the windows could not be closed, Xia Fengshu's words were realistic.Xu An had already thought of a countermeasure and booked a room at the Honest Inn.

For dinner, I ate noodles at a small stall at the corner of the street. Xu An had to go to restaurants for every meal before, but today she took the initiative to sit on the bench of the noodle stall and ordered a big bowl of noodles.After eating with a sigh of relief, he asked Xia Fengshu, "I want another bowl."

"Why do you ask me?"

"You treat me, of course I ask you."

Xia Fengshu ordered another bowl and added a double serving of beef.

Xu An put down her chopsticks after eating halfway, she was full.

When paying, Xu An watched Xia Fengshu patiently pull out 20 yuan from his wallet. The banknote had Xia Fengshu's body temperature on it, and it didn't just belong to Xia Fengshu because of his body temperature.

The money in his pocket also has body temperature, but it is not as legitimate as Xia Fengshu's.

After leaving the noodle shop, Xia Fengshu held her arm, Xu An pushed her away and said, "I have paint on me, don't touch me."

"Okay, don't be angry, are you painting the house just to hear me praise? Xu An is not a person who seeks fame."

"I don't want to be famous, but I don't want to be self-defeating." The more Xu An thought about it, the more depressed he became.

"How do I understand this?"

"I seem to have done something unpleasant but annoying." Thinking that Xia Fengshu didn't show a smile from the beginning to the end, Xu An became more sullen.

Xia Fengshu already understood her intentions, "You also know that I don't like to laugh by nature."

Xu An didn't respond.

"Xu An, don't embarrass yourself for what I said that day. It wasn't a very reasonable sentence. I said it out of choice."

"You're right, I should have understood this truth a long time ago, I'm not independent enough, not qualified enough..." Xu An swallowed the word "love you" forcefully.

Xia Fengshu wanted to say something to encourage her, but was worried that it would encourage her feelings. Since she and Tong Zhan met again, she had vaguely made a decision in her heart. She secretly made a choice for life and destiny.

She didn't realize that Xu An's feelings for her were already too strong to dissolve.

Dreams are sometimes very close to you, as if they are crouching in your palm, waiting for you to hold them tightly.Xu An is accumulating the strength to hold on tight. Right now, she wants to succeed in the interview.

The so-called struggle is to adjust the state. For Xu An, this is her duty, and the rest can only be obeyed by fate.According to her plan, she will get a heater for Xia Fengshu today.The water heater used for bathing also needs to be repaired. Last night when we said goodbye at the Honesty Inn, the kiss hadn't ended yet, Xu An's right middle finger gently scratched his lower lip, and his eyes gradually became lingering.

With a person who loves in his heart, there is another world, a world that cannot be surpassed.

The soft light in the western restaurant softened Xia Fengshu's slightly pale face. Except for her pair of cold eyes, her facial features were all slender and frail. The light gray sweater covered her slender shoulders, making one imagine her Her body is as fragile as a piece of paper, and as cute as a bullet can break.But when looking at her, there is a special hostility that reminds the person who looks at her how sharp and stubborn she is.She can give people a love full of contradictions, because she is a person full of contradictions.

Tong Zhan didn't want to keep staring at her, but he couldn't keep his gaze away. Even if he pretended to be attracted by the beautiful waitress in the restaurant, he quickly returned to Xia Fengshu's face.A strand of hair slipped from the top of her hair, and the tip of the hair hit the tip of her nose, Tong Zhan felt a little heartbroken, wondering if that strand of hair had hurt Xia Fengshu.

At this moment, Tong Zhan's face suddenly appeared in Xia Fengshu's dark eyes,

Tong Zhan was happy and flustered at the same time. For some reason, after this reunion, Xia Fengshu attracted him far more than the first acquaintance. From nowhere, the charm exuded from nowhere contained a faint, thin cotton-like gentleness. .This is unprecedented. Before that, Xia Fengshu was just a clean, cool, and beautiful girl, who was eye-catching, but did not have a dazzling charm.Is she experiencing love?This is the amorous feeling that can only be had when indulging in love.Thinking of this, Tong Zhan felt a little sour in his heart, and immediately aroused a sense of vindictiveness. Will any man be able to win a woman away from me?Haven't encountered yet.I must make her mine, and let every touch of her charm come from me.

"I'm a little embarrassed." Xia Fengshu said.

Tong Zhan smiled. He is a man with upturned lips when he smiles. He has handsome features and a warm complexion. For women, he has a high coverage rate of charm. "What's the matter?"

"How do I face you? I don't get rewarded for nothing. I don't know how to repay you for helping me like this."

"It's easy to pay me back."

"Speak." Xia Fengshu looked at the briefcase on the table, which contained three sets of test questions for the exam. After mastering this, passing the exam is as easy as pie, which shows Tong Zhan's supernatural powers.

Tong Zhan was aroused to be childish again, "Why are you so incomprehensible, woman, is it interesting to speak too clearly?"

"I really don't know what you want?"

"Then pretend that I don't want anything, and you can accept the arrangement with peace of mind."

"You obviously want to lock me up."

"What did I do? Let you call me so evil."

Xia Fengshu scratched the dark red silk tablecloth with his fingertips, "You are cultivating my vanity."

Tong Zhan was slightly stunned, he really didn't have such intentions, it was not too much to greet the woman he liked according to his consumption level, how could it become a conspiracy in Xia Fengshu's eyes.

Xia Fengshu said lightly: "I have been resisting these material enjoyments, because I know that this kind of time is very short and does not belong to me. If I become dependent on these, I will lose myself."

Tong Zhan couldn't help looking at Xia Fengshu with a different look, what kind of life would allow a girl in her early twenties to have such strong self-control and see the world so clearly.Such a person, what else can make her addicted? "If you want this kind of life, I'll give it to you, free of charge." Tong Zhan said this sincerely.

Xia Fengshu thought for a while and said, "The most I believe is that this dinner is for nothing."

The light in the window made Xia Fengshu not surprised to see Xu An when he opened the door, and he could see all the changes in the room. Xu An was sitting at the table typing on the computer. When he came closer, she was typing her manuscript into the computer .

"Why are you doing this?" Xia Fengshu's mouth was cold, but his heart was bubbling with heat.

"Boring, practice typing." Xu An is also duplicity.

"You made fried rice?" Xia Fengshu lifted the lid on the coffee table, "I've eaten it."

Xu An was speechless. Half an hour ago, she received a call from Jie Chu. This call made her feel so excited that she fell into a dormant state. Jie Chu said, "If you have anything to do, just tell me and I will do it. Why do you need to mobilize grandma to please?" The meal is such a big occasion, I have already greeted my uncle about your interview, no matter what, I still have a heart to get to know each other and help the woman I once loved."

Xu An didn't say a word, she didn't know it, she didn't know that the aunt and grandma who went out together at noon were doing this, but now, she has become a joke, no matter what she says, she is a joke, even She laughs at herself.Ever since Xia Fengshu appraised the money in her pocket, her sense of guilt for getting something for nothing was forming, but now, it was condensed and formed, not only the money, but also the dignity that others had to pay and pave the way for her.

What am I?

Xia Fengshu saw that Xu An was worried, but he didn't know why, but he couldn't help but sigh in his heart. Since they were together, Xu An seemed to have more and more troubles.The electric heater was turned on in the room, and the temperature was seventeen or eight degrees. She was only wearing a thin sweater with black and white stripes, her shoulders were flat, and her upper lip was curled up like a curled leaf. Xia Fengshu said, "Who messed with you?" ?”

"Come back so late, where have you been?"

"I didn't ask you to wait for me, so don't check on me." Xia Fengshu felt a little guilty, and was as sharp as ever.

Xu An got used to it, and his mood became more and more gloomy.Sitting there in a daze, looking at Xia Fengshu's manuscript.Xia Fengshu waited for Xu An's counterattack, but only waited for Xu An who was so depressed. All the thoughts about himself in Xia Fengshu's heart were gone, only Xu An was left.

"I went to dinner with the man."

"Who?"

"Ex-boyfriend." Xia Fengshu took off the leather jacket, which was given to her by Tong Zhan.

"You're confessing, but you're still mad at me."

"What do you think?" Xia Fengshu rested his chin on Xu An's shoulder and wrapped his arms around her, "You are in a bad mood, I won't make you angry."

"Hearing you say this, I'm about to explode." Xu An made no secret of his jealousy.

"I do it for work, and finding a good job is my number one priority."

"What about me? How long am I waiting?"

"Xu An, you are not a spoiled person."

Xu An got up, put on her coat, Xia Fengshu took her hand, and pressed her body against it. The tip of their noses met, they stared at each other like fighting cocks, and then kissed each other entangledly. Then, Xu An All the resentment dissipated, and Xia Fengshu's guilty conscience disappeared, "Xu An, don't play your temper in front of me, I don't like to coax people."

"I didn't want to coax you."

"I don't want to coax you either, but I can't help it." Xia Fengshu's tenderness continued, "I just want to coax you. I can only laugh when you smile. Xu An, I'm afraid of you."

Afraid?This word touched Xu An deeply. Previously, she thought that this word could only be used on Xia Fengshu's mother. Could it be that in Xia Fengshu's eyes, I am already as important as my mother?

Thinking of this, Xu An's heart beat wildly, and those frustrating and depressing thoughts were swept away.

When the meal was cold, Xia Fengshu warmed it up and gave it to Xu An. She cleaned the laundry as usual, and chatted without saying a word. Xu An said, "Have you finished writing this novel? Is the ending open-ended?"

"What do you think? I dare not show you what I have written."

"I have already expressed my apology with practical actions, so don't worry about what you said at the beginning."

"Once you say something, you will remember it forever." This sentence was said in Xia Fengshu's tone, and the listener would feel chills in his heart, but Xu An was used to it.

"Those words didn't come from the heart, they were said to hurt you."

Xia Fengshu finished drying his clothes, walked to the table, stared at Xu An's eyes and said, "It's too much, why did you hit me?"

"Because...you said we were just having fun, and I didn't figure out what I wanted at the time."

Xia Fengshu's heart fluttered, then sank, and she asked cautiously, "Now do you know what you want?"

Xu An closed the computer, "I have to go home."

Xia Fengshu said: "Let's go after finishing talking."

Xu An ignored her and put on her clothes. She always thought that there are some things that don't need to be said so clearly.

Xia Fengshu didn't know why, but he wanted an answer, so he stepped forward and grabbed Xu An, and Xu An immediately pressed her against the door, "Don't trick me on you."

"Just you? Why?" Xia Fengshu strongly resisted, not losing to Xu An in physical strength, but after a few pulls, her heart softened, and she succumbed to Xu An's strength.Xu An hugged her tightly, panting and said: "Do you know the answer? No matter how much effort or time, I will hold you like this."