the other side of the fireworks

Xu An sat blankly until he saw that person outside the window - Xia Fengshu.She was standing at the bus stop in front of the supermarket, holding a large book in her hand. Seeing that the bus didn't come, she started reading.Meeting her twice a day, Xu An couldn't find a reason to persuade herself not to run out. In fact, she almost lost control and ran out, crossing the traffic and standing in front of Xia Fengshu. Xia Fengshu was startled, The eyes widened a little in an instant, and the black pupils revealed surprise clearly.

Xu An smiled, still uncontrollably, "Scared you?" The tone was familiar and ambiguous.

Xia Fengshu ignored her and continued to read.

Xu An was bored, and stood awkwardly for a while, telling himself to go quickly, but his feet seemed to be rooted and unable to move.

When the car arrived, Xia Fengshu got into the car without looking back, Xu An stood stupidly, looking at Xia Fengshu in the car window, feeling hesitant.

The car left, like the aurora in a dream, the beautiful, exciting light flashed away.It was impossible not to be depressed, and sleepless nights followed. Xu An threw her unexpressed feelings into the diary, and she found that she needed a diary, and something to help herself recall what she had done.

Grandma fell asleep, aunt sat in the living room watching TV, came out of the toilet, Xu An sat next to aunt.Watching the remote control tossed and turned in his aunt's hands, Xu An couldn't find a suitable opening statement. With such a long record of cold war, his aunt is not an ordinary soldier, and her opinions on herself are not ordinary.The first few times she opened her mouth were unsuccessful, but her intuition told her that it was possible tonight.

"Gu, I want to take the civil service exam, but you haven't given me any advice."

"What I think doesn't matter."

Xu An heaved a sigh of relief, although his tone was as cold as ice, he finally spoke. "Gu, I really want to hear your opinion, don't ignore me."

"With your grandma, who dares to say you."

Xu An moved closer to her aunt, "Auntie, don't say that, I feel very sad."

The aunt paused for a while, and finally couldn't help it anymore, "Tell me, what kind of person do you like, and you say you won't be together. Have you ever been married?"

Xu An couldn't answer, and rubbed his hands on his knees together, with a look of grievance that he couldn't tell.The aunt said: "You child, if you go all the way to the dark, don't think about it if it doesn't suit you."

"I... I can't control it."

"How old are you guys? How old is that man?"

Xu An shook his head, "I don't want to say, aunt, don't ask me, I know it shouldn't happen, I know I can't let you down, I worked hard, I broke up with her, I don't think about her, I..." Tears rolled down, like Xu An's language, disobedient to command, "But I can't forget, I don't think about her all the time, but I seem to be out of breath all the time, because I have to use too much effort to suppress her. I didn't take the CPA exam, I know it's important, but I don't have any confidence, I don't even feel like I can hold a pen. I'm so empty, like there's nothing left."

"Silly boy, you still have aunt and grandma. After a while, you will be fine, and you will gradually forget about it. There is nothing that cannot be forgotten." Auntie's tone softened.

Xu An smiled wryly, how could he forget?She appeared like that again.

The civil service exam will be registered next week, and Xu An's life is really no fun at all because he is tormented by books every day and makes his head dizzy.In the evening, she would go out for a walk with grandma, and when she came back, grandma would watch TV with her aunt.Uncle usually does not come back until twelve o'clock when he is playing mahjong outside.The deputy secretary of the party committee of the bus company retreated to drive a taxi, which is quite fashionable to say the least.My uncle retired from a series of factional struggles and bought a taxi to pass the time. My aunt said that he was unnecessary. In another year, my uncle would be 60 years old and could no longer drive a taxi. What would I do with the car then?My uncle said that he wanted to be a car owner, and he planned to buy two more cars and hire someone to drive them.My aunt said that he was an official fan and wanted to support others all his life, so why did he step down if he loved being an official so much.

This kind of debate will never stop. When you think about it, you have to talk about it. Disputes are everywhere at the dinner table, on the sofa, on the balcony. If you get angry, you won't stop until you get upset.

This is life, Xu An usually hides in the room and waits for the war to subside.When grandma came, such quarrels miraculously disappeared, and my aunt didn't want to demote my uncle to nothing in front of grandma.I just avoided talking about my uncle's work and career, and only said how well my cousin lived in Australia and how motivated he was at work.

Xu An hid in the room, staring at the stack of books in a daze, feeling terribly bored.More than 90.00% of people who have passed the CPA test will be allergic to the test.Climbing from a pile of numerical forms to boring administrative regulations is like changing cells in hell.Xu An gritted her teeth and picked up the book. She had to survive this test. Grandma personally supervised the battle this time, and she couldn't let her down.

The phone rang, and it was Lijuan who called. After graduation, I kept in touch with a few classmates, but I seldom went to WeChat and MSN. I always felt that there was nothing to talk about.Li Juan said that she was also going to take the civil service exam, which surprised Xu An, "Aren't you going to take the postgraduate exam?"

"If you are a civil servant, you don't need to take the postgraduate entrance examination. You have to prepare with both hands."

"It's hard to balance!"

"I want to try, Xu An, I have someone from this city, I hope to stabilize as soon as possible, I don't want to miss him."

"Congratulations. What kind of person can make you settle down so anxiously."

"Ordinary, not as good as your Jiechu, but I just like it so much that I can't sleep during the day and night. I can only tell you what Xu An said, and let Xiao Guo know that I am a joke."

"No, but she will definitely say something."

"That's right, she has the worst mouth. How are you preparing, and which department do you want to report to?"

"Taxes, what about you?"

"I want to apply to the judiciary. He is also a judiciary. If he passes the exam, he will be easily transferred." Lijuan seemed to have eaten cartilage candy. Xu An couldn't imagine how sticky her expression was. She was already very shy. "A lot of people in our class applied for the exam. Did you know that Xia Fengshu also applied?"

Xu An's heart skipped a beat. She guessed that Xia Fengshu was going to take the civil servant exam, but she didn't expect Lijuan to know about it, and she just sent her name into her ears.

"how do you know?"

"She works in the supermarket opposite Xinhua Bookstore. After I bought the book, I went to a supermarket and saw Xia Fengshu at the cash register. I didn't want to talk to her. You know how arrogant she is. Talk. I didn’t expect her to call me. She saw the book in my hand and started chatting with me when she knew I was going to take the civil service exam. Alas, I haven’t talked so much in four years. After the job, she became intimate, do you think she is a freak?"

Xu An hummed unconsciously.She couldn't hear what Lijuan said behind her, she opened the drawer, and the phone whose screen was broken by Xia Fengshu lay there quietly, just like Xu An's dying mood, Xia Fengshu, what are you going to do, maybe you should Ask God what he is going to do, and why he sent Xia Fengshu's news at this time.

Xu An sat in the living room for a while, maybe grandma and aunt could help her calm down, she forced herself to sit on the sofa, her body sank, and then she heard her aunt say: "Xiao An, what's wrong with your leg, you're shaking stop."

"fine."

"Girls can't shake their legs, it looks frivolous."

Xu An put his hands on his knees, got up and said, "I'm going out for a walk."

Grandma said: "Go, I can't recite books well even if I stay at home."

Xu An walked out of the house and headed in the direction she didn't want to go, she couldn't control the impulse.Thinking of Xia Fengshu's coldness and unfeelingness, her steps became a little lighter. At this moment, it was better to be rejected than to be accepted.