the other side of the fireworks

Still the same bed.

After turning off the lights, Xu An stared at the moonlight in the gap between the curtains. She wanted to chat with Xia Fengshu, but listening to her breathing, Xia Fengshu had already fallen asleep.It will be dawn in another three hours, and Xu An also closes his eyes when he thinks of this.

Obviously about to move, but dead in the silence, Xu An could feel the conflict, she asked herself what to do, at this moment, Xia Fengshu turned over and put her arms on Xu An's waist.

Xu An was woken up by the phone ringing. Jie Chu called her and made an appointment to go mountain climbing today, but he couldn't pick her up at school.what time is it?The sunlight that penetrated through the gaps in the curtains was extremely dazzling.Jie Chu said, "Miss, where are you at 09:30?"

He could hear that Jie Chu was in a hurry.

"I'm at the Honest Hotel. I played too late yesterday and didn't have time to go back to school."

"Stay in a hotel?"

"It's too late to climb the mountain." Xu An got up and opened the curtains. The sunlight outside the window was rare and seductive. The road, cars, and oak trees on the side of the road seemed to have been painted with varnish. "I'll call you when I get back to the dormitory."

"Okay." Jie Chu hung up the line very simply.

Xu An rubbed his eyes, where did Xia Fengshu go?

A mobile phone is a good thing, it allows you to hear the sound you want to hear the first time.Xia Fengshu said that she would go back to school after finishing her work, and they met at school.Xu An said that she was going out with Jie Chu, but Xia Fengshu hung up the phone without saying anything.At this second, Xu An felt that she was really enough, why should she accommodate the arrogance of this little girl named Xia Fengshu like a Maitreya Buddha with a big belly.

When she went back to school, Jie Chu was waiting for her, and it was obvious that he was not very happy.Xu An can understand his feelings. For a man, it is really unbearable for a pure girlfriend to sleep out without his knowledge.However, she knew that Jiechu would not ask, and would only use certain situations or certain dialogues to make her speak out.Xu An was familiar with this method, she was in a bad mood today, and decided not to take the initiative to approach Jiechu's curve trial.

At dinner, Jie Chu finally couldn't help asking her, and Xu An said everything.

Jiechu put down his chopsticks and said solemnly: "I object to you being friends with Xia Fengshu for a reason. I have been with her for a long time, and I am worried whether you will become as proud and frivolous as her. Now it seems that my worries It is superfluous, and it depends on the essence if it goes bad, the essence of my girlfriend is a diamond, and she is not afraid of any corrosion."

Xu An knew that there was something mysterious in his words, but he couldn't think of what it was for a while, so he could only listen quietly.

Jie Chu looked at Xu An for a long time, then took out a small square box from his pocket. "Go to my house tomorrow, I want to propose to you in front of my parents."

"Didn't you say to go after the graduation ceremony next month?"

Jie Chu shook his head and said, "I can't wait, we'll get married as soon as you graduate."

Xu An opened the box and looked at the diamond ring inside, "I won't get married so early, I just want to be your girlfriend right now."

Jie Chu took out a key from his pocket, "Then put this away, I'll get the house ready, and we'll live together."

"You want to live together?"

"Among my friends, I am the most patient. None of them have waited so long for a girlfriend. If you don't doubt my feelings for you and are willing to accept it, then accept this key."

Xu An understands that lovers like her and Jie Chu who are shy about kissing are rare on and off campus.It is understandable that Jie Chu wanted to go further. She looked at Jie Chu's belly and imagined how they would feel in bed, when Xia Fengshu's words about femininity suddenly came out in her ears, and she felt a little restless in her heart.Seeing her expression, Jiechu was greatly shocked. "Xiao An, do you love me?"

Xu An said, "Do I have to give the answer now?"

Jie Chu said: "Of course, this question does not need to be thought out before answering."

"I don't want to get married, and I don't want to live together. I just want to maintain the current relationship. Whether it's love or not, you can judge."

"Very good, you are very honest." Jie Chu put away the ring and key. "I'm patient, call me if you change your mind."

Xu An raised his face and looked at Jie Chu who stood up, feeling uneasy in his heart.

Then, she went back to school alone, met Xiao Guo and Su Su's group at the school gate, and took her to have a breakup meal.Xu An went with them, smiling the whole time without saying a word.After three cups of yellow soup, everyone was at a loss when it came to their respective plans. Only Xiao Dan was full of confidence. She said that she would go back to her hometown to find a job, and her father had already entrusted her with the relationship to find a position in the county government.Lijuan was envious, but Susu said that she didn't want to go back to her hometown, and she would never go back after passing the exam in that small place.Although it is not easy to find a job and she has no social connections, she still wants to make a living outside on her own.Lijuan said that she was going to take the postgraduate entrance examination, and Xiao Guo said that she was a nerd first, and then an old maid.Lijuan said that I don't have such a good life as you, and I will go abroad as soon as I graduate.Xiao Guo sighed and said: "I also made a lot of sacrifices. In order to marry PETER, I dumped the drummer who was finally chasing me. My poor love."

Li Juan sarcastically said: "Come on, since I met you, love has become much cheaper in my heart. You either use it to seduce men, or you use it to beautify yourself."

"I'm also notorious for it! I know how many people despise me, but it doesn't matter, I admit that I am not pure, who stipulates that women in this world cannot enjoy men, maybe one day, I will enjoy women." A big glass After drinking, Xiao Guo's face turned even redder, as if he was about to bleed.Xu An was very curious about what kind of foreign husband she was looking for, but he was not curious enough to ask.Listening to Xiao Guo's articulate words, she knew that she was going crazy. Xu An's alcohol capacity was not bad, and he drank less than them, so she was sure that something would happen, at least she was still sober.Xiao Guo talked a lot, toasting one by one, and soon, the table went into a state of dizziness.From talking one by one to vying to talk, one by one said they couldn't drink to vying to drink.Xu An looked around, the diners gradually gathered, and they didn't sit in the private room.I thought to myself that it was almost done, so I got up and said, "Let's go."

"Don't spoil the fun, okay?"

"I mean let's drink somewhere else."

"You drink this glass before leaving." Xiao Guo handed over a large glass of beer.

Xu An took the wine glass and drank it down. Xiao Guo patted her on the shoulder, "You are so loyal. I just like you. I despise those women who pretend to be innocent. Especially Xia Fengshu, who is poor and pretends to be five A six-year-old, is she so beautiful? At what age, she still pretends to be a chaste woman, and she is so thin that she can't stand the fourth-grade wind."

Xu An listened harshly, "She is my friend, don't say that about her."

"After four years of college, I admit that you are a good person. Even if you are a virgin, I don't despise you."

Xu An thought to himself that it is not surprising that Xiao Guo and Xia Fengshu would fight. These two freaks who advocate different virginity complexes are totally incompatible.

Finally returned to school before eleven o'clock, thinking about what he did that day, Xu An, who was slightly drunk, walked heavily.She wondered what Jiechu was doing, would she call her later?It is impossible for her to let go of this relationship in this way.All the subconscious points towards her being the wrong side.How natural it is to sleep with a man who is married in good faith.Why am I not willing, Xu An asked himself, is it shy?Never seemed to desire it.Why was I at a loss when Jiechu asked me whether I loved him or not.

don't i love him

At this moment, Xu An saw Xia Fengshu standing at the door, as if he had been waiting for a long time. "Why don't you go in?"

"The door is locked and your roommate is not here."

Xu An opened the door, and the two entered the room one after the other. Xia Fengshu asked, "Where did you go? Didn't you say we'll meet at school?"

"Have lunch with Xiao Guo and the others." Xu An put down his bag. "Call me if you need me, why bother waiting here."

Xia Fengshu had long realized that Xu An's tone was wrong, "It's nothing important, just wait. I just came back from my mother, and my mother told you to eat hand-made noodles when you have time. She likes you very much." of."

Xu An said slowly: "It seems that I am more popular than Xiao Guo."

"It's boring to talk like that. I'm leaving." Xia Fengshu said.

Without even thinking about it, Xu An said, "It's more interesting to hang up on someone else's phone."

Xia Fengshu froze for a moment, then sneered, her unique sneer, a smile that both attacked others and mocked herself, "Yeah, people who buy phones are so cheap, they spend money waiting for others to hang up on her."

Xu An said: "She didn't know that the phone was sent to a bitch." This was the most vicious thing Xu An had ever said in her lifetime.

Xia Fengshu took out the phone from his trouser pocket and slammed it against the wall, "It's fucking disgusting."

Xu An's emotions are still burning with alcohol, she is not drunk, but emotional. "It's fucking disgusting, I should be disgusting when I see you, the witch who messed up my life. I'm not your prop, don't use me to make magic, I will be your cash machine for a while, and your punching bag for a while. Send Calling you to find out where you are because you're always missing. Is that a cheap idea? So cheap that you just hang up on me like that."

"Aren't I cheap? Why didn't I call you and wait until this time like a watchdog?"

Xu An was stunned.Xia Fengshu's eyes glistened with tears, so beautiful that he couldn't forgive.

"I'm going to use my method to find you. You want me to buy me a mobile phone. I think that's all you can do."

Xu An went to grab Xia Fengshu's hand, but Xia Fengshu shook her off.

She grabbed her again and kissed her.

The physical collision was unprecedented, and they both tried to master each other's bodies, but neither could.

It is often wrong to do things before you have time to think. Impulse is the devil, and the scary thing about the devil is that it can make people regret.Xu An is fighting against the devil, she blames alcohol, anger, and...

Xia Fengshu was sitting, drawing heart-shaped circles on his knees with his fingers.The eyes are empty, empty as if blind.

"Xu An, are you scared?"

"A little."

"Don't be afraid. It's a secret. It's not scary if it's not known. I knew I liked you a long time ago, but I've never been afraid. I'm not afraid that you don't like me, and I'm not afraid that you like me."

"Are we in love?"

"I am to you."

"How can you be sure?"

"I've never liked a man. I haven't had any since I was a child. But I had a good impression of a girl in a sports school in middle school. But I didn't develop, and there were few opportunities to meet. Later, when I saw her with other girls, I fell in love with her." I don’t like her anymore. I like clean people. Men are dirty in my eyes. When I first entered college, I decided that I would be an old maid for the rest of my life. I read a lot of books on this subject, physiological, Psychological. The more books I read, the more I feel that I have understood these things."

"What's the matter with that man, it is said that you often kiss goodbye on campus."

"You reconciled with your boyfriend. I feel very disadvantaged, so I also found a boyfriend. The most important thing is that he is the only man I don't think is dirty."

"Just because he's handsome."

Xia Fengshu shook his head, "It's hard to explain the feeling, but I still broke up with him."

"why?"

"He has a girlfriend, I will return him to others."

"You actually did something like taking love with a knife."

"I was wronged. I didn't know at first, but then I broke up when I found out. He told me that his mother liked that girl, and he loved me, and he pestered me all morning."

"This excuse is very old-fashioned." Xu An said sourly.

"I want to believe everything he says. I can't help it. He makes me feel too clean." Xia Fengshu used the word "want to believe" instead of believing. She wanted Xu An to understand that she didn't go out because she believed in him. .But Xu An didn't notice the difference between Xiang and Xiang.

"Are you going to meet him this morning?"

"He asked me out in the name of the last time, and I went. I'm not as heartless as you imagined."

Xu An didn't want to continue this topic, she was already messed up enough.

"what should we do?"

"What should I do? Kiss when you have time." Xia Fengshu smiled a little badly. It seemed that today's scene had been rehearsed in her mind, so she calmed down.

Xu An felt that adrenaline was pumping her blood in her body, and a feeling similar to anger disturbed her. She turned her back to Xia Fengshu, "This is not a child's play, once I am sure that I am in love with you and that I am ..."

"Don't worry, you won't have a chance to meet after you graduate, no matter how strong your relationship is, it will fade away."

"Are you really as cynical and careless as you appear to be?"

"Why hold on to something you can't hold? I'm not hard on myself."

"Xia Fengshu, if you are really such a person, you might as well give up writing." Xu An's tone did not change, but the topic changed again.

"Why?" Xia Fengshu was like a fox whose tail was pulled, staring at the person who held her tail in surprise and nervousness.

"You say something you can't hold, don't hold on to it, just give up writing, the style of what you write is consistent with that novel collection, and your voice is hoarse. I just don't understand what you want to roar. It's not as good as those on the market. A disease-free novel can at least deceive middle school students who are not deeply involved in the world. Abstraction is not the patent of painting, but novels cannot be abstracted like this. Together they are two words—empty.”

Xia Fengshu's mouth was tightly pursed. Obviously, she was suffering from the pain of having her tail pulled out.

Xu An said lightly: "Life is not made up of several points, but a line. When you encounter something, it is unrealistic for you to predict the result and ignore the process in the middle."

"Because the process doesn't change the outcome."

"Yes, time is extremely powerful. You can play with your attitude and temper, but don't be sure about the result, and do irresponsible things and say childish things."

Xia Fengshu sneered, "I can, before you figure out whether your feelings for me are love, I will forget you."

"Stop being brave, you can't even forget the girl you had a crush on in middle school."

"That's a memory. From now on, you only exist in my memory." Xia Fengshu was extremely firm, but Xu An could see her weakness from the corner of her beautiful inner eyes.

"Okay, this is good." Xu An spread his hands in relief. Xia Fengshu left. In the empty room, she tightened her shoulders. A strange emptiness came unexpectedly. Xu An knew that it would take her a long time Adjust their.