juvenile journey

It seems that a new patient came to the ward in charge of Yafan. Yafan took out the patient's record book and looked at it. The boy suffered from cancer and was transferred from another hospital.He couldn't help sighing, what a young child, he should be in school at this time, learning knowledge with his classmates, looking forward to the future.

When Yafan recalled his 18-year-old years, what came to his mind most was the scene where he sweated with his teammates under the basketball hoop.

The thin but clean white-clothed boy in front of him seemed as if any small force could destroy him.

Life is so fragile.I have also seen a lot of Asian fans.

Every time Yafan came to make rounds, he could usually see the boy sitting quietly on the bed, looking at the sunshine and clouds in the sky outside the window, and occasionally responding to the words of the family members of the patients around him with a gentle smile.

In fact, after most patients know their illness, they are in two situations, one is a self-destructive emotional breakdown, and the other is that everything is taken lightly.Boys belong to the latter.

Yafan was in a trance, and his thoughts were suddenly returned by the boy's greeting and smile to him.After beckoning a little awkwardly, he walked away quickly.Yafan was walking in the corridor with the registration book in his arms, not knowing why his heartbeat seemed to be much faster.A bit unlike my usual calm self.

During a room round, the boy asked Yafan to help him adjust the inclination angle of the bed.

"It's been too long, and I feel a little uncomfortable." The boy still smiled brightly, but the smile was as light as a cloud, as if it would disappear when touched, "Thank you, doctor."

"No need." Yafan was a little dazed.

"Doctor, how long do I have?" The boy put his eyes on his body under the sheet, a little lost in thought, but still smiling slightly.

Yafan was silent, unable to answer, of course he hoped to be able to answer, the answer could be many, many years.As he has said to countless patients, everything will be fine.But in the end?

In the face of life and time, no one can do anything.

Gradually, Yafan didn't like to say such comforting words without substantial help.Looking at the boys now, even Yafan who has seen many joys, sorrows and joys in the hospital now, I feel an indescribable blockage in my heart.

I don't know when it started, Ya Fan started to develop a habit, when he has nothing to do, he likes to go to the boys' ward.

"how do you feel today?"

"The weather is nice today." Boys like to talk about the weather first and then themselves when Yafan comes over, "It's the same as usual, it's not bad."

Yafan looked at the scenery outside the window, it seemed that such a bright sunny day had lasted for half a month.

"How about I take you out for a walk?"

"Is it okay?" The boy's eyes suddenly brightened when he heard Yafan say this.

"Of course." Yafan looked at the boy's innocent expression and laughed.

"I haven't been out for a long time, thank you, doctor." The boy looked around like a baby who was curious about the world.

"You're welcome, if necessary, you can call me to take you out at any time." Yafan pushed the wheelchair and said softly.

"Doctor, you are so kind." The boy raised his head and looked at Yafan, his movements seemed to be laborious, but he still smiled brightly.

Yafan felt that she was getting more and more strange, unexpectedly there was an unexplained blush on her face, and she almost pushed the wheelchair towards the artificial lake without paying attention.

"Doctor, I still want to live longer." The boy held the sides of the wheelchair, recovered from the shock, and laughed out loud.

Yafan broke out in a cold sweat, and hurriedly asked the boy, "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, but it's you, doctor, don't let yourself die with me." The boy seemed to be in a better mood, and it lasted for a long time.

"Returning together is definitely not the way to do it. I have no hatred with you, and it's almost the same as dying for love." Yafan was still in shock, and his mouth was faster than his thoughts, and he spit out such a sentence.

Now both of them were stunned.Blushes floated on the faces of both of them.

"Can I stay outside until sunset?" The boy shyly broke the silence first.

"Want to watch the sunset?"

"Ah."

"Okay. I'll accompany you."

The color of the sun began to darken, and slowly entered between the distant mountains.Although it disappeared, Yu Hui was still in the place where it fell, and did not disperse for a long time.

The boy looked at it seriously, and the smile stayed on his somewhat pale but young face reddened by the afterglow of the setting sun.

"Perhaps only when it is about to be lost, do you feel that many ordinary things are extremely precious?" the boy murmured.

Yafan's understanding of this sentence may not be as deep as that of boys.

"Will chemotherapy be painful?"

"It doesn't hurt, don't be afraid, I'm here."

"Actually, it still hurts when you get sick." After chemotherapy, the boy and Yafan said this, although they were smiling, but there seemed to be a little bit of grievance on their faces.

Yafan looked at the boy and remained silent.Suddenly there is an urge to hug the boy, to give him some strength, perhaps this is the best comfort.Yafan clenched his fists, but finally held back.

After chemotherapy, the boy seems to have a poor appetite.Sometimes I vomit.

"Are you okay?" Ya Fan said worriedly.

"I'm fine, haha." The boy seemed to be in a good mood all the time, and he didn't forget to joke with Yafan at this time, "Does the doctor panic too?"

How could it not be, the heart of a doctor is also flesh and blood.

Boys start to get lethargic.He told Yafan that he seemed to be drained of a lot of energy.

So when Yafan came to the male ward, the males were all asleep.Then Yafan just stared at the boy's sleeping face, some as pale as a cloud.This is not a good description, because Yafan really doesn't want boys to disperse as easily as clouds.

But no matter how you think about it, one day will still come.Yafan could only restrain himself from thinking about it, although it was like stealing the bell.

Yafan received a task from his superiors to go to a hospital in another place with the director to do research.Yafan didn't want to go, at least not right now, so he asked the dean for a long time.But the dean's attitude is very firm, and Ya Fan has no choice after all.The dean asked Yafan why he didn't go, but Yafan opened his mouth and didn't say anything.How to say this, is it simply because of a patient?

So he can only hope that when he comes back, the boy should still be there waiting for him.

It will definitely be there again, Ya Fan firmly believes.

"Will you be going for a long time?" The boy didn't show his smile, but looked at Yafan seriously.

"No, can you wait for me?" Yafan held the boy's thin hand.

"Yes. I will." The boy smiled, his hands were not very strong, but he held Yafan tightly.

This is how time likes to joke with people. When you want it to go slowly, it will pass quickly; the more you want it to go fast, the less rush it will be.

A week is a long time for Ya Fan, even if he puts all his energy on the matter in front of him, it won't help.On the last day, Yafan rushed back ahead of the dean.

Back to the familiar boy's ward, the bed was tidy, but the boy was nowhere to be seen.Yafan suddenly felt as if his strength had been sucked out of his body, and he almost collapsed at the door of the ward. It was not until the passing nurse told him that the boy was pushed out by another nurse, that Yafan rushed out.

"I've never been so afraid of a person leaving me without knowing it."

After seeing the figure of the boy in the wheelchair, Yafan was still out of breath.The nurse pushing the wheelchair looked at Yafan, shook her head slightly, and handed the hand to him.

Yafan really hoped that he didn't understand what the nurse's head shaking meant.

The boy sitting in front looked at the distant clouds in a daze, and then felt something.Turning around slowly, he saw Yafan and smiled brightly.

"You're finally back." The boy was full of energy, but his voice was still so soft.

"Yeah." Yafan squatted down and hugged the boy.

The boy smiled and hugged Yafan back, with a determined and brave look on his youthful face.Who wants to believe that this is a person who is going to the end of his life?

The next morning, Yafan came to the male ward.

"Doctor, will it be okay if I sleep again?" In a trance, Yafan seemed to hear the boy say this.

But it seemed to be a voice from memory.

Ya Fan covered his face weakly and knelt down, something slipped through his fingers.

In fact, when I know it, but I can't do anything to save it, that is the most painful thing.

—It’s always sunny outside the window, I really want to go out and have a look, the ward is full of white, I feel a little scary after staying for a long time.

—I kind of miss the feeling of being in the school window and looking outside.

—I miss my classmates and teachers, and those annoying math problems.

—I think I am quite brave, I am not afraid of death.

—Suddenly want to play basketball.

— That doctor named Yafan keeps seeing me, does he have something to tell me?Then why does he keep running away?

——Dr. Yafan seems to be more introverted, but he still came in to help me adjust my sitting posture.Alas, if I sit in this posture again, I will get hemorrhoids.

——Thanks to Dr. Yafan, I was finally able to go out and have a look.However, Dr. Afan nearly sent us all into the lake.He called this martyrdom, ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...

— Now seeing Dr. Yafan, I am a little nervous.

—It hurts.Dr. Yafan is by my side, I dare not tell him that I feel bad, I don't know why, I just don't want to see him worry.

—A little bird flew in from the window, it sang at me for a long time, and then flew away.I'm so envious of it.

— Will chemotherapy be painful?Is it so painful?

— Chemotherapy didn’t hurt, but it was so hard after that.I can't eat anything.Dr. Afan seems to be more nervous than me, haha.In fact, I am very happy and satisfied to see the doctor every day.

—I used to feel lonely in the hospital, but now I have Dr. Yafan to accompany me.very nice.

—I just fell asleep today, alas, I wasted another day.Dr. Afan has come today.

—I don't want to sleep anymore, I want to go out for a walk.

——Dr. Yafan is going on a long trip, and I want to go with him.But I can only wait for him to come back.

—I must wait for him to come back.

— There are often family members crying and calling the patient's name outside the ward.I seem to be a little afraid that I will suddenly disappear like this.

—Actually, Dr. Yafan is a very annoying person. After I missed him, I started to be afraid of this and that.To be honest, I'm actually not brave at all.

—He hasn't come back yet.

—I'm going to hold on.

—I suddenly feel very energetic today.In the afternoon Dr. Afan came back and he hugged me.

—I seem to have a few words left unsaid, and I dare not say them.Can't say either.

—I like you, doctor.