I Just Came to Borrow a Light

Probably not at all psychologically prepared for Yuan Wuhui to come now, Jiang Chengyu didn't say a word for a long time after being introduced, just bent down inexplicably, picked up the cigarette that fell on the floor, and put it back in his mouth.

Then he asked Lin Chengbu in a low voice: "Does he know me?"

Lin Chengbu turned his head and was about to ask Yuan Wu, but Yuan Wu was already stuffed into the mask and opened his mouth: "Does it look like this?"

Jiang Chengyu was stunned when he heard that, and touched his face: "I've always looked like this, but I haven't seen you in two years... Am I old in two years? It shouldn't be!"

Lin Chengbu wanted to laugh when he saw Jiang Chengyu like this. This person is very concerned about his appearance, and his sensitivity to age is no less than that of stinky little girls.

"It hasn't really changed," he said, and whispered in Yuan Wu's ear, "Don't you have any impression of him? Or is it that he doesn't match the Jiang Chengyu in your memory?"

Yuan Wu narrowed his eyes and looked at Jiang Chengyu for a long time before whispering, "Maybe it's a mistake. I've seen this person before, but I'm in a mess right now."

"Hey, that's right, it doesn't matter if you don't match the name." Jiang Chengyu was relieved when he heard it, and came over to hug Yuan Wu, "Long time no see, Xiao Wu."

Yuan Wu quickly pushed him away.

"Go in and have a sit?" Jiang Chengyu didn't care about his reaction.

Lin Chengbu looked at Yuan Wu, Yuan Wu was silent for a long time, and several customers who were about to enter the bar looked this way, and he said: "OK."

"Come in through the back door." Jiang Chengyu turned around and walked towards the back door of the bar. "Those regular customers seem to have recognized them. When there are too many people, it's time to scream around..."

Lin Chengbu pushed Yuan Wu to follow Jiang Chengyu to the back door. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see that several girls at the door had stopped entering the bar, and they all looked this way.

"Scream?" Yuan Wu asked.

"Well," Lin Chengbu said in a low voice, "You used to be very popular for bartending. After you stopped coming, many fans inquired about your coming. If they suddenly saw you now, they would definitely scream."

Yuan Wu didn't speak, just lowered his head and pulled the mask again.

"It's okay." Lin Chengbu saw his resistance, "No one can see you when you enter the back door. Let's sit at a table that is a bit farther away and leave after a while. The main reason is that I haven't seen Brother Chengyu for a long time. Let's chat for a while. sentence."

"What are you talking about?" Yuan Wu frowned.

"Anything is fine," Lin Chengbu said, "If you don't want to talk, just sit down for a while."

Jiang Chengyu took them to a booth far away from the bar. There were several pots of green plants beside the booth, and the people in the booth could hardly be seen from the outside.

"Do you have any impressions of this place? You always liked to sit here before. It's quiet. When you're here, they don't take guests to this table." Jiang Chengyu sat down and waved his hand.

"Brother Chengyu, Brother Xiaobu," a waiter ran over, this is a waiter who has worked for many years, he came to say hello, and when he saw Yuan Wu next to him, he was stunned, and he was a little surprised after a pause Said, "Brother Xiaowu...Okay, long time no see...Is it still the old rules?"

Yuan Wu raised his eyebrows and didn't make a sound.

"Yes," Jiang Chengyu patted him, "The few tables here are empty."

"Understood." The waiter bent over, turned and walked away.

"What are the old rules?" Yuan Wu asked.

"Your child's set meal before," Jiang Chengyu said, "beer and popcorn."

"Really," Yuan Wu leaned against the wall, leaning his arms on the table, "It sounds like I'm going to watch a movie."

"There is also a set meal for graduate students," Lin Chengbu smiled, "Male wine without ice."

"Oh," Yuan Wu responded, as if he didn't have any special feelings about these things, "I was like this before... I seem to remember... I feel like I dreamed it..."

"It's definitely not a dream," Jiang Chengyu lit a cigarette, and put the cigarette case in front of him, "You live like this for half a month, no one dreams like going to work."

"I'll just..." Yuan Wu thought for a while, then looked at Jiang Chengyu, "You, are you two drinking here?"

"Usually you're alone," Jiang Chengyu said, "I'll come over to chat with you when I'm free, but you don't like chatting too much."

After he finished speaking, he whispered to Lin Chengbu: "He talks more now than before. He used to sit here for half an hour without being able to utter a single word."

"Well, it's pretty good now..." Lin Chengbu thought for a while, "Ordinary."

The kindergarten set menu was quickly brought up, with some snacks, and Jiang Chengyu's special drink every time.

Lin Chengbu used to come here to drink some beer, or wait for Yuan Wu to make a glass of whatever. Compared with people like Jiang Chengyu and Yuan Wu who drink like beauty pageants, he doesn't have any special interest in wine He couldn't tell the difference between homemade fruit wine and foreign wine.

Several people did not speak, took the wine and started drinking.

Yuan Wu touched a few popcorns and put them in his mouth, took a sip of beer, looked at the green plants next to him, and remained silent.

Lin Chengbu watched his movements, and after he drank the beer, he glanced at Jiang Chengyu, and Jiang Chengyu also looked over at the same time.

Both of them can see that this action and order are the same as Yuan Wu's habit all along. Put popcorn in his mouth first, then drink beer and chew together. Lin Chengbu always feels that eating popcorn like this is a waste The burnt aroma and crispiness, but Yuan Wu likes it.

What Yuan Wu is thinking now, whether the scene in front of him is in his memory, no one knows, but at least his unconscious actions and habits remain unchanged.

Yuan Wu didn't touch the snacks on the table, just drinking the popcorn and beer slowly.

Jiang Chengyu and Lin Chengbu are normally used to this state, because he used to be like this, but today's feeling is still a little different, after all, Yuan Wu is now a person who has killed himself.

It's just that he didn't open his mouth, Lin Chengbu didn't know what to say, and he didn't want Jiang Chengyu to talk casually, this man was very wild after drinking, maybe he would say something inappropriate.

So he was still so dumbfounded.

Until the number of people in the bar gradually increased, the lighting and music began to become blurred, and Yuan Wu finally made a sound after drinking up the malt wine, lowering his head and sighing at the empty glass in front of him.

"I like this feeling," Jiang Chengyu leaned back on the chair with a cigarette in his mouth, "lights, music, laughter, shouts, talking, and crying."

Yuan Wu looked at him and didn't speak.

"After a long time, you will have an illusion," Jiang Chengyu continued, "I am sitting here, obviously sitting here, but I don't know where I am. I listen to these people talking, laughing and crying, but I can't tell the difference. I'm still who."

Yuan Wu took off the mask that had been covering the bridge of his nose and drank a big gulp of beer.

Lin Chengbu glanced at Jiang Chengyu, and suddenly realized that Jiang Chengyu's opening was very good, and he deserved to be a cultured person.

These words may be a bit empathetic to Yuan Wu in the chaos?

"Some people," Yuan Wu took another sip of beer, "didn't wake themselves up from birth to death."

"You?" Jiang Chengyu pushed the second glass of malt wine in front of him.

"It's not me," Yuan Wu took a sip from the cup, "Maybe it's me."

"It's not you," Lin Chengbu whispered next to him, "You have always been Yuan Wu, very sober, and never missed it."

"Huh?" Yuan Wu turned to look at him, whispering softly, "Yuan Wu... Yuan Wu, Yuan Wu..."

"Xiao Wu," Jiang Chengyu touched the cup in his hand with his own cup, "I called you Xiao Wu for at least five years, really."

"Yes, Xiao Wu..." Yuan Wu closed his eyes, raised his head and poured down all the wine in the glass.

Just as Lin Chengbu wanted to stop him, Jiang Chengyu kicked him under the table, pretending to lower his head and pat his pants, and whispered, "Let him drink."

"... Oh." Lin Chengbu hesitated for a moment, but didn't stop him from serving Yuan Wu's third glass of wine.

Yuan Wu has a good capacity for alcohol, it is not easy to get drunk, but it is not difficult to drink too much, Jiang Chengyu probably wants him to tell the truth after drinking.

But the premise is that they don't get drunk.

After drinking Yuanwu beer and malt wine for a while, Lin Chengbu could feel him slowly relaxing, leaning against the corner of the chair and looking at the chaotic lights on the table.

"Do you know?" Yuan Wu patted Lin Chengbu on the shoulder, and put the cup in his hand on the table vigorously, "Who has never been sober in his entire life."

"Yuan Shen." Lin Chengbu replied quickly.

Yuan Wu patted him on the shoulder again, pointed at him: "That's right."

Lin Chengbu opened his mouth in surprise and did not speak.

When he said Yuan Shen, he was not sure about the answer, and he didn't know what happened to Yuan Shen at all. He just reflexively wanted to pull Yuan Wu's consciousness to Yuan Shen, so that he could truly realize Yuan Shen. And he is two people.

"Yuan Shen," Yuan Wu lay down on the table, turning the cup in his hand, "He doesn't know who he is. Every day, every day, every day, he keeps asking."

"Ask what?" Jiang Chengyu touched his glass with him.

"Do you know who I am? Who do you think I am? Am I you?" Yuan Wu raised his head, his eyes were a little confused, but his voice was still clear, "This person feels that sometimes he is himself, and sometimes he is not himself. .”

Lin Chengbu picked up his glass and drank a big gulp of beer, then took another piece of ice from the ice bucket and put it in his mouth.

This was the first time Yuan Wu talked about Yuan Shen, and it made him a little scared.

"Is this person a lunatic? Or a fool?" Jiang Chengyu clicked his tongue and beckoned. The waiter ran over with the bottle and asked for refills. He reached out and took the bottle, "I'll do it myself."

The waiter backed away.

"Crazy?" Yuan Wu suddenly turned his head to look at him, "Who are you talking about?"

"You said, this person." Jiang Chengyu poured him a small glass of wine, "Who is this person?"

Lin Chengbu stared nervously at Yuan Wu, Yuan Wu looked at Jiang Chengyu, and then suddenly smiled: "It's Yuan Shen."

"Is Yuan Shen crazy?" Jiang Chengyu asked clearly.

"No!" Yuan Wu slapped the table, his voice a little hoarse, "No no no no no!"

Lin Chengbu stepped hard on Jiang Chengyu's shoe.

Jiang Chengyu frowned and moaned silently, and gave him a middle finger.

"No..." Yuan Wu lowered his voice.

"No, we know he's not." Lin Chengbu put his arms around his shoulders, Yuan Wu was still saying something, but his voice was too low to hear clearly over the bar music and noisy voices.

"Xiaobubu," Yuan Wu turned his head and looked at him lying on the table, "You don't understand this feeling."

"Xiaobubu?" Jiang Chengyu repeated on the sidelines, this title made him a little confused.

"What kind of feeling?" Lin Chengbu asked.

"There is a person who is by your side every day," Yuan Wu took an empty glass and knocked it on the table, Jiang Chengyu poured the wine for him, only poured a little from the bottom of the glass, he took the glass and knocked it again, Jiang Chengyu clicked He poured out half a cup with a bang, and he took it over and drank it in one gulp, "Like a shadow... Sometimes I wonder, is it really a shadow? My shadow?"

"It's Yuan Shen, right? He's not your shadow, he's your younger brother." Lin Chengbu said.

"My brother..." Yuan Wu narrowed his eyes, "Yes, it's my brother, but who knows, maybe it's my brother..."

"Well, it doesn't matter who is older and who is younger when it comes to twins." Jiang Chengyu said.

"Identical twins, do you understand?" Yuan Wu drank the wine in a hurry, his voice was already drunk, and his eyes were a little wandering, "Same egg, two children."

"Understood." Lin Chengbu nodded.

"Could it be one person?" Yuan Wu smiled, "This person always asks me if we are actually one person, do we have one, it shouldn't exist, is it me?"

Lin Chengbu felt a little dizzy, even though he only drank two glasses of beer, he was still a little dizzy.

"Why did he ask such a question?" Jiang Chengyu found the point.

"Yeah, why?" Yuan Wu touched Jiang Chengyu's cigarette case, took a cigarette and lit it, leaned back in the chair, and did not speak for a long time with a cigarette in his mouth.

Lin Chengbu looked at Yuan Wu, and couldn't tell whether he was "conscious" or confused. He was talking about Yuan Shen, which he had never said before, but the most used reference was "this person".

This jumping-off way of expression makes it impossible to determine whether he is really telling Yuan Shen's story, or telling "his own" story from the perspective of a third person.

Jiang Chengyu probably felt the same as him, he frowned and looked at Yuan Wu without speaking.

The atmosphere of the bar has reached the wildest stage of the day, and the bartenders at the bar are also driving the surrounding emotions with wines of various colors and flying bottles and cups.

Yuan Wu drank almost a bottle of malt whiskey, Jiang Chengyu asked the waiter to take away the rest of the wine, and put a bottle of soda water there instead.

Yuan Wu didn't seem to feel it, and it was quite natural to drink it after pouring it for him.

"Yuan Wu and Yuan Shen," Yuan Wu skillfully tossed the empty cup in his hand, looking at the people in the bar through the leaves of the green plants in the changing lights, "it was premature. "

Lin Chengbu, who was in a daze while thinking about what to do next, raised his eyes and stared at Yuan Wu when he heard this sentence.

Jiang Chengyu, who was bored beside him and was playing with his mobile phone, also turned his head.

"It was found in three months that they were squeezed into an amniotic sac," Yuan Wu's voice suddenly became clear and calm, the previous alcohol seemed to have disappeared, and the only thing that could tell that he was still drinking too much was a cigarette I didn't light it up for a long time, "It was cut out in advance at seven months, because their umbilical cords are entangled with each other, the development is uneven, and the difference will become bigger and bigger..."

Lin Chengbu took the lighter in his hand and lit the cigarette for him.

"There is a child who is very weak," Yuan Wu exhaled a puff of cigarette, looking at the flames of the cigarette, "very weak... Guess who it is?"

Before Lin Chengbu and Jiang Chengyu could speak, Yuan Wu continued as if talking to himself: "That's right, of course it's Yuan Shen... No, it's not Yuan Shen, it's Yuan Wu."

"Aren't you in good health?" Jiang Chengyu said, "How could it be you."

"Mom and Dad name the children, the older one is called Yuan Wu, and the younger one is called Yuan Shen," Yuan Wu's voice became unclear again, with his tongue hanging out a little, "Wu Ye, all things grow up plump, and the yin and yang intertwine in astonishment. Wu, the yang qi is full, and the yin qi begins to germinate... When the bundle is stretched, the body of all things is formed..."

"What?" Lin Chengbu didn't understand, and turned to look at Jiang Chengyu.

"That's what Wu and Shen mean." Jiang Chengyu said.

"The older child has been sick all the time," Yuan Wu said vaguely with a cigarette in his mouth, "Grandma said that the child squeezed the older brother so that he didn't grow well, and the illness never recovered. The child was too domineering and hindered the older brother." ..."

"Does it mean that Yuan Shen hindered Yuan Wu?" Lin Chengbu was confused when he heard that, what Guo Xiaoshuai said that day was obviously Yuan Shen's poor health.

"Didn't you say that Yuan Shen is not in good health?" Jiang Chengyu also didn't understand, and asked him softly.

"It's Yuan Shen." Lin Chengbu frowned.

"Later grandma said," Yuan Wu didn't seem to have heard what they said, poured himself a glass of soda water, drank it all in one gulp, raised his head and closed his eyes. The body is complete... it should be used by older children, the body of all things is complete, and the disease will be cured..."

"What?" Lin Chengbu froze for a moment.

"Does it mean that Yuan Wu and Yuan Shen's names have been changed?" Jiang Chengyu said in surprise, "Yuan Shen's original name is Yuan Wu, is it your brother?"

"Fuck me?" Lin Chengbu felt that his mind was in a mess. If Yuanshen's mental state was really problematic, just changing his name would be enough for him to wrap himself around and break down.

"So guess what?" Yuan Wu suddenly opened his eyes and approached Lin Chengbu, "I am Yuan Wu, or Yuan Shen?"

"You are Yuan Wu, I don't need to guess," Lin Chengbu looked at him, and replied with affirmation, "You guys changed your name 800 years ago, I don't care what your original name is, whether it's an older brother or a younger brother, anyway, you It's Yuan Wu, and you're called Wu Ma, and I only recognize you."

Yuan Wu looked at him, laughed after a while, and poured himself another glass of beer while laughing: "That's so good...so you don't understand."

"I don't need to understand!" Lin Chengbu frowned.

"You don't understand at all!" Yuan Wu pointed at him, then at Jiang Chengyu, "You don't understand either!"

"Yes." Jiang Chengyu nodded.

"I don't know who I am, I don't know who I should be!" Yuan Wu slammed back into his chair, huddled in the corner, his voice gradually became louder, as if trying to overwhelm the sound waves around him, "Who is it?" ! Who is it then! Asking every day! Thinking every day! Am I you? Are you me? He is asking every day! Thinking every day!"

"Yuan Wu," Lin Chengbu felt that his current state was a little too excited, and reached out to grab his arm, "It's all over, it's all over..."

"The doctor said, he has brain damage! Where is the damage? Where is it?" Yuan Wu stared at him, "Where is there? No! Nowhere! He just wants to know who he is!"

"Who wants to know?" Lin Chengbu asked, looking into Yuan Wu's eyes, "Tell me, who wants to know who you are?"

Yuan Wu looked at him, his lips trembling violently, Lin Chengbu saw the tears welling up in his eyes.

"Yuan Shen," Yuan Wu said softly, a teardrop slipped from the corner of his eye, "It's Yuan Shen."

"I got it, I got it," Lin Chengbu hugged him and patted him, "I got it, it's all over, it's okay, it's all over..."

Jiang Chengyu called the waiter over: "Ice towels."

"How can it be all right!" Yuan Wu suddenly pushed Lin Chengbu away, and roared, "How can it be all right!"

"Xiao Wu..." Jiang Chengyu wanted to interrupt, but was interrupted before he could say anything.

"Shut up!" Yuan Wu yelled at him.

Jiang Chengyu shut his mouth.

"How can it be all right!" Yuan Wu bent his legs, stepped on the chair, and hugged his head, "How can it be all right...do you know how he died, do you know how he died, why did he die? ……Why……"

"Don't think about it, don't think about it anymore," Lin Chengbu hugged him again, took the ice towel handed over by Jiang Chengyu, and patted the back of his neck, "Don't think about it yet."

"How could you not want to!" Yuan Wu grabbed his collar, his eyes were bloodshot, "He won't let go! He won't let go!"

"What...don't let go?" Lin Chengbu's back felt chills, remembering what the worker said on the day Yuan Wu committed suicide in Shenqiao.

"He won't let go of the water plants," Yuan Wu looked at him, hoarse, "He's holding water plants, no matter how I try to break his hand, I can't break it..."

"Stop talking..." Lin Chengbu panicked a little.

"Let him talk, he has to talk about it." Jiang Chengyu whispered on the side, covering his mouth with his hands to prevent Yuan Wu from finding out that he didn't shut up.

"Do you know how difficult it is to pull out water plants?" Yuan Wu looked at him with a trembling voice, "I can't pull it out...and I can't stop pulling...I grabbed his hand, he grabbed the water plants...he looked at me and smiled , he looked at me and smiled..."

Lin Chengbu felt that his breathing became difficult.

"I can't breathe, do you know what it feels like to be suffocated?" Yuan Wu leaned back to the corner, "Special...special...desperate, you can't save him, you can't even save yourself...What happened next? Why didn't you ask, what happened later?"

"What happened later?" Lin Chengbu felt his voice tremble.

"Later I let go," Yuan Wu raised his head and smiled, "I let go... Yuan Shen died."