I Just Came to Borrow a Light

who are you?

I am your uncle.

Lin Chengbu felt very distressed by his conditioned first answer.

Maybe it's because the obsession with Yuan Wu has reached the deepest part of my mind, and all the memories are replayed over and over again since their first acquaintance.

The afternoon when I first saw Yuan Wu.

Yuan Wu, who was sitting on the black fire hydrant at the gate of No. 18, smoking a cigarette, looked at Yuan Wu indifferently from behind a few locks of hair hanging from his forehead, facing his gaze, Yuan Wu just puffed out a puff of cigarette and turned away ...

Every shot, every detail, is in his mind.

Before that afternoon, he only had recipes and "I'm so annoying, so annoying, I want to fall in love" in his mind. After that afternoon, there were only recipes and Yuan Wu.

"Tell me," Yuan Wu took out a cigarette, and pressed the lighter close to his face, looking at him in the light of the fire and the first puff of blue smoke, "Who are you? What are you here for?"

However, even if Lin Chengbu only had recipes and Yuan Wu in his mind, even if he vacated all the recipes for Yuan Wu, he couldn't answer this question accurately.

who I am.

I am Lin Chengbu, Yuan Wu knew his name was Lin Chengbu a long time ago.

I am a great chef in a private restaurant, and this is not the answer for Yuan Wu at all.

I'm Jiang Chengyu's friend, so who is Jiang Chengyu?

I am your fanboy, how can I explain now that I am not a reader? I am not a fan of novels, but your indifferent and unrestrained figure in the phantom-like changing lights before.

Who I am is not difficult to answer.

The difficult thing is to answer who are you in Yuan Wu.

Yuan Wu's question is not about who Lin Chengbu is.

But for him, who is Lin Chengbu.

Lin Chengbu's mind was in a mess, and his heart still hurt.

He didn't expect that one day he would face such a self-question. He had known Yuan Wu for so long, but in the end he couldn't even answer who you are.

When Yuan Wu asked who you were for the third time, Lin Chengbu looked up at him, took two seconds to confirm his answer, and then opened his mouth.

"I'm your boyfriend." He looked into Yuan Wu's eyes.

Yuan Wu's pupils shrank for a moment, not sure if it was because of the sunlight or fright.

But after Lin Chengbu said this, his whole body relaxed, like holding a test paper with a score of 70 and changing it to 99. He was nervous all the way and finally handed it to his father for signature. It doesn't matter whether he lives or dies. .

"Boyfriend?" Yuan Wu closed his eyes with a cigarette in his mouth, and pointed to himself, "Mine?"

"Yes." Lin Chengbu said.

Yuan Wu didn't speak, just glanced into the cabin, the big head was seriously holding the hall cup behind his back, and trying to throw the beer bottle back.

"Hey," Yuan Wu yelled, the soot fell on his hands, and he shook his hands, "I smashed my head!"

"My hands don't seem to be big enough." The big head lowered his head and opened his hands to look.

"You play with that measuring cup, there are two, throw that." Yuan Wu said.

"Oh," Datou obediently took out the two measuring cups, "They are not the same size, why?"

"If you don't talk to me between now and before dinner, I'll give you five yuan." Yuan Wu said.

The big head was stunned for a moment, then he quickly pursed his lips and nodded.

"I've been alone for a long time," Yuan Wu turned back to look at Lin Chengbu, "Sometimes my mind gets messed up, and I can't remember some things clearly, for example, I can't remember when I went to Xiaojiang Town last time, I can't remember I know when you first came here, but I can't remember if you ever said why you always come here..."

Lin Chengbu was silent.

"But I shouldn't remember wrongly whether I have a boyfriend or not," Yuan Wu took a puff of cigarette, "I don't have a boyfriend."

Lin Chengbu sighed softly.

"If you say you are my girlfriend..." Yuan Wu glanced at his crotch, "Unfortunately, I have already seen it, and you are not my girlfriend."

Lin Chengbu opened his mouth and said nothing.

"Okay," Yuan Wu stood up, leaning on the side of the boat and looking at the water, "If you don't want to talk about it, don't tell me, who doesn't have a secret that can't be told."

"November 11," Lin Chengbu said, "the time we first met, four years ago."

Yuan Wu looked back at him and continued to stare at the water.

"It's your birthday that day," Lin Chengbu said in a low voice, "Singles' Day birthday."

Yuan Wu's hand holding the cigarette trembled slightly.

"You have a scar on your back," Lin Chengbu continued in a low voice, as if talking to himself, "I fell while driving. It's very long. Your car is the one I drove over that day."

"You basically only drink mocha for coffee, but you can't make your own foam very well." Lin Chengbu closed his eyes, "You like hyde and gothic metal, and the ringtone of your phone is Here in the Throat from MyDyingBride... My pronunciation is not very standard ..."

"You go to the gym three times a week and only run for an hour each time. There are a lot of dandelions planted on your balcony. I didn't count how many pots there are. I only went there once..."

Lin Chengbu couldn't finish his sentence, he still wanted to say, Jiang Chengyu went to your house to pick up things and I went with him that time, everything in your room was dark blue and white...

Yuan Wu flicked the cigarette into the water, turned around and closed the back door of the cabin, and then punched him hard in the face.

Lin Chengbu was sitting on a small stool, as if he was squatting, but when he punched, Lin Chengbu fell back and fell directly on the board of the boat.

Yuan Wu didn't wait for him to get up, stepped on him, pressed his shoulder and punched him again.

Lin Chengbu felt that the sun that had already set had become extraordinarily golden again, and Yuan Wu punched him again amidst the golden light.

"Fuck!" Lin Chengbu raised his hand to block it. Yuan Wu's punch hit his arm, but he couldn't feel any pain. He grabbed Yuan Wu's wrist. In order not to disturb the big head in the cabin, he Suppressing his voice, "Your uncle! You really beat me!"

Yuan Wu pulled out his hand and punched him in the ribs again, grabbing his collar: "What do you want to do?"

Lin Chengbu was so painful that he almost gasped, he gritted his teeth and punched Yuan Wu's ribs after taking two bites. Taking advantage of this opportunity, Yuan Wu was thrown aside.

"What do I want to do?" He suddenly turned over, pressed his right knee on Yuan Wu's stomach, and pressed his hand, "If you ask me who I am, I'll tell you who I am!"

"You should take your medicine." Yuan Wu looked at him.

"What's your name?" Lin Chengbu stared at him, "Yuan Shen? Is your name Yuan Shen? Do you write novels? Are you Xing Tian?"

Lin Chengbu desperately suppressed his urge to say the word Yuan Wu.

There was a moment of silence in Yuan Wu, as quiet as the dusk wrapped around it, and then he arched his legs fiercely and pushed his knees up.

Lin Chengbu didn't ride on him, he was half-kneeling and half-squatting. This not-so-beautiful posture left a gap for Yuan Wu. When he came up on his knees, he felt that if he could push up a little more, he could directly hit him. On him.

"Fuck you!" Lin Chengbu grabbed Yuan Wu's clothes, picked him up and threw him on the boat board, "Are you still serious?"

Yuan Wu didn't make a sound, but stared at him, probably feeling that such an attack was useless, so he turned his head and bit Lin Chengbu's wrist.

Lin Chengbu's anger surged up along with the pain, and he was so bitten that he couldn't even cry out.

Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck!

The words in my mind formed a square formation, kicking forward and swishing past.

"I'll tell you what I'm going to do!" Lin Chengbu suppressed his voice and stared at Yuan Wu, "If it wasn't for the big head today, I would have fucked you right now!"

Yuan Wu was silent for two seconds, then suddenly raised the corners of his mouth and smiled: "I was scared to death."

Yuan Wu's smile is beautiful, Lin Chengbu likes to see him smile, but Yuan Wu seldom smiles, in his impression, Yuan Wu's appearance is always indifferent, and occasionally he gets angry suddenly with impatience.

He stared at the corner of Yuan Wu's mouth for only a short moment, maybe not even a second.

He bowed his head and kissed.

This is the first time he touched Yuan Wu's lips, with a faint smell of smoke, not too perfect, not to mention warm, a little dry...

But he plunged headlong into it, sinking into a long-held longing.

Yuan Wu didn't struggle, the tip of his tongue entered with almost no hindrance, over his lips, between his teeth, and penetrated into the intoxicating temperature.

Touching, probing... nothing.

The longing for Yuan Wu made him already remove all the prelude and layout in his heart.

No need, no want, these flirting steps have long been thrown away in his mind a thousand times.

What he wants is madness, a storm.

Go straight.

Churning and pestering, sucking and encroachment.

The sun really set, Lin Chengbu was sure.

But when he closed his eyes, there was a warm light around him.

Some difficulty breathing.

Maybe it was because my heart was beating too fast, maybe I forgot to breathe at all.

Lin Chengbu finally let go of Yuan Wu because he was out of breath.

Put your arms beside Yuan Wu's head and stare at him.

The breathing was a bit rough, and the hair on Yuan Wu's forehead trembled slightly with his breathing.

Yuan Wu didn't speak, didn't pant like him, and didn't continue to beat him like he imagined, but just looked at him quietly, and after a while, he said: "You're hard."

"...Oh," Lin Chengbu didn't know what to say, "Yes."

"Start up." Yuan Wu said.

Lin Chengbu got up silently, walked aside, and leaned against the side of the boat with his face turned outward.

"Let's cook," Yuan Wu said, "The big head is still growing, and he won't grow if he's hungry."

"Okay," Lin Chengbu replied, "Wait a while, wait for me...to soften."

Yuan Wu paused, opened the door and entered the cabin.

Datou was sitting on the deck of the boat, sweating profusely, throwing two measuring cups back and forth, and then falling again. Yuan Wu sat aside and watched for 5 minutes, but he just didn't take it once.

"Give it up," Yuan Wu said, "let them go."

The big head glanced at him and didn't speak.

Yuan Wu stared at him for almost a minute before remembering about the five yuan: "Okay, you continue."

The big head continued to throw the measuring cup.

There was the sound of washing pots and pouring water from the stern, and Lin Chengbu started cooking.

Yuan Wu leaned on the cushion and turned his head to look outside.

Boy friend?

Yuan Wu couldn't think about the previous events at all, and he couldn't even judge what happened just now, and what these events meant.

I just feel messed up.

Very messy.

Some ideas are so close that they can be cleared up almost by raising your hand, but they are always so close.

It wasn't the first time he had this feeling, the vague thoughts that kept haunting him in the boredom and confusion, but every time it made him feel fear and uneasiness.

Want to get closer, but don't want to take that step anyway.

He didn't know why.

Whether he knows Lin Chengbu or not, he can't be sure, but those words Lin Chengbu said, those words that made him suddenly angry in panic...

He didn't know if it was true, but he was afraid of those words and didn't want to hear them.

In the end what happened?

What happened to my own life?

Why be afraid?

What are you afraid of?What are you hiding from?

Why don't you want to think about it?

Why do you run away as soon as you touch it?

How long has it been?Just keep avoiding all doubts like this?

Yuan Wu didn't know whether he would still worry about these question marks in 5 minutes. He had used the closed method to comfort himself countless times.

Is it effective?

It was effective before Lin Chengbu appeared.

what about now……

Yuan Wu took out a can of Coke from the small refrigerator, opened it and took a sip, then his eyes fell on Lin Chengbu.

Lin Chengbu was taking a small piece of meat and shredded it very quickly, and his posture was very beautiful. For the first time, Yuan Wu felt that watching people cut meat was a kind of enjoyment.

Who is Lin Chengbu?

A mental patient.

A mental patient who chose a big adventure.

A mental patient who chose the big adventure and said that he never chose the big adventure and said that he was his boyfriend.

Yuan Wu shook his head, interrupting the self-explanation that started again.

no.

What is that?

There were some familiar things on Lin Chengbu's body, and when he opened the suitcase and took out his clothes, the feeling of familiarity became stronger.

Familiar, and not annoyingly familiar.

Even when the tip of Lin Chengbu's tongue was entangled between his teeth, he didn't feel disgusted, just calm, waiting for something to change quietly.

Boy friend?

Do you like men?

"Do you eat chili?" Lin Chengbu asked outside.

"Aren't you my boyfriend?" Yuan Wu said, "You don't know?"

"I know you don't eat it," Lin Chengbu glanced at him, "but I don't know if you would say you eat it yourself."

Yuan Wu didn't speak.

"Then I won't put any chili peppers. You don't like spicy food." Lin Chengbu continued to make dishes, "Is there anything you don't want to eat in Datou?"

"I don't!" Datou said, "I can eat anything except fish. I eat fish every day. I'm so tired of eating fish."

"I bought chicken wings, you can eat chicken wings later." Lin Chengbu said.

"Okay!" Big Head replied happily.

Lin Chengbu continued to chop vegetables quickly, and Yuan Wu watched with fascination.

The knife didn't seem to be a knife in Lin Chengbu's hand. Every time it fell, Yuan Wu felt that he had to cut off at least three of his fingers, but every time he didn't.

And every time after cutting, let the knife circle around the hand and then insert it on the cutting board, which is full of flamboyant and coercive movements, Lin Chengbu did it naturally and beautifully.

Braised chicken wings, sweet and sour pork ribs, steamed fatty beef with black bean sauce, there are no special ingredients in the town, but Lin Chengbu still quickly makes these popular meats emit a strong aroma.

After watching it for a while, Yuan Wu became hungry.

"How long can I eat?" he asked.

"We'll eat the fish after it's steamed, can you come over and help?" Lin Chengbu glanced at him.

Yuan Wu got up and went to the stern: "What am I doing?"

"Wash the bowls and put them away," Lin Chengbu said. "I bought beer today so I didn't make soup. The fish is steamed and it's ready."

"Yeah." Yuan Wu took the bowl and washed it and put it on the small table, then sat and looked at Lin Chengbu.

Lin Chengbu didn't say a word, staring at the pot of rice that was cooking next to him. There was no rice cooker or pressure cooker, so he cooked it in a soup pot. He had to stir it with chopsticks from time to time. At this moment, the aroma of the rice was overflowing. up.

Yuan Wu stared at his face for a while, went into the cabin and took a can of Coke out and handed it to him.

"I don't drink this stuff," Lin Chengbu said, "I drink beer."

"I didn't let you drink." Yuan Wu looked at his face.

"Oh," Lin Chengbu smiled, took the Coke and stuck it on the corner of his eyes, "Then this can is not enough, I feel like my whole face is crooked."

"Fart." Yuan Wu said.

"You know, you just smashed my mouth," Lin Chengbu said, "It's bleeding, I'll wash it for a long time."

"I know," Yuan Wu said, "I have tasted it."

Lin Chengbu choked and coughed for a long time: "Damn."

"It smells so good!" Datou ran out, "It smells so good! It's much more fragrant than my mother's cooking!"

"When I come over again in the future," Lin Chengbu paused here, looked at Yuan Wu, saw that Yuan Wu didn't respond, and then continued, "You come over for dinner."

"Really?" The big head's eyes lit up, but soon he whispered with some disappointment, "It can't be done."

"Why?" Lin Chengbu asked.

"Because...because..." Datou looked at Yuan Wu, leaned close to Lin Chengbu's ear, put his hands around his mouth, and said in a low voice, "Mom said Brother Xiaowu is a strange person, so she won't let me always come here. "

Lin Chengbu was stunned, then smiled and said, "It's okay, you came to play with me, not him."

"That's right!" Datou immediately became happy, and after thinking about it, he said, "Actually, I like little...uncle very much."

"Me too." Lin Chengbu said.

The dishes were ready quickly, Datou sat on a small stool, Lin Chengbu and Yuan Wu sat on the floor.

Yuan Wu gave Datou a can of Coke and five yuan, and threw a can of beer to Lin Chengbu: "Happy birthday."

"Happy Birthday!" Big Head shouted.

"Thank you." Lin Chengbu said with a smile.

"Is there a birthday cake?" Datou asked while gnawing on a chicken wing.

"Yes." Yuan Wu said.

"Then can you eat cake while eating?" Datou asked again in a low voice, and then suddenly stared at Lin Chengbu's face after asking, "Brother Xiaobu, why is there a big bruise on your face?"

"I bumped into it." Lin Chengbu quickly diverted his attention, "Do you want to eat cake? Go and get it, you can eat a piece first."

The big head's attention was shifted in an instant, and he ran into the cabin and took out the cake after nibbling on the chicken wings: "Would you like to sing a birthday song?"

"No need, it's only for children's birthdays." Lin Chengbu smiled and opened the cake box, "I haven't seen it yet."

"There are words!" Datou moved to the side of the box and shouted, "I know it, I can read it, I can read it!"

"Read it." Yuan Wu said.

"What, what! Little! No! Don't! Day!" the big head yelled, "Le! Happy birthday!"

"What don't you want..." Lin Chengbu was stunned, and glanced at the cake, "I'm so petty! Is the proprietress illiterate?"

Yuan Wu laughed on the side.

"Did you see it?" Lin Chengbu turned his head and stared at him, "You know what she wrote is Xiaobu, don't you?"

"Well," Yuan Wu nodded, "I don't know how to write your name."

"Lin Chengbu," Lin Chengbu grabbed his hand, put it on his knee, and wrote each word in the palm of his hand, "Lin, Cheng, Bu...you'd better remember it clearly."

"Huh?" Yuan Wu looked at him.

"From now on, whether you can remember it or not," Lin Chengbu said, "I will always be your boyfriend."