[Danmei] You and I never meet

7.

When I slowly came out from the shadow of the past, Zhang Zhang finally stopped being by my side all day.He said: "Qiyang, I need to go to the company to deal with some things. If you want to go out, there are cash and cards in the drawer, but remember to call me before going out."

Without him by my side, I began to live in every possible way.Occasionally, I wandered around the city with Tao Zi, walked for a whole day, my legs were cramped and swollen, and then I went back to lie down for a day.

Most of the time, I was alone in the room reading a book or watching a movie, and sometimes I would do hygiene on a whim. When I helped him fold his clothes, I looked at the straight shirt, or the slightly raised underwear, or Even the polished leather shoes, I can't help but think of him, and how he looked when he was wearing them, his cheeks flushed slightly.

Wait for Zhang Zhang to come back and have dinner with me every day.One day, Zhang Zhang complained, "The takeaway downstairs is getting worse and worse."

So I started to learn how to cook.I shamelessly dragged Tao Zi to the house to teach me how to cook, but after working all afternoon, the whole kitchen was filled with smog, and the things I made were still unpalatable, and Tao Zi ruthlessly called them dark dishes.Seeing that Zhang Zhang was about to come back, I hurriedly asked Taozi to cook a few more dishes, and when she finished, I drove her home. When she went out, she shouted angrily: "Xu Qiyang, you ungrateful villain! !"

I smiled, closed the door, and put the food on the table to wait for the charter to return.

At about six o'clock, he came back.

He looked tired, but still smiled when he saw me.I feel a little sad looking at it.He changed his leather shoes, put his bag aside, took off his coat and hung it on the hanger, walked over and asked, "Baby, have you ordered takeaway yet?"

I didn't answer him.When he walked slowly to the dining table by himself, he heard him ask in disbelief, "Baby, did you do all of this?"

I nodded shamelessly.

He seemed to be moved, and his eyes were wet.

I said, "Hurry up and eat, or it will be cold."

He rolled his Adam's apple, and after a long time, he finally said a word: "Okay."

I sat next to him and helped him with food.I kept picking, and he kept eating.I can't help but think that the charter work must be very tiring, and my appetite is much larger than before.I didn't know he was full until I heard him, who never hiccups, burp loudly.I asked, "Are you full?"

He smiled and said nothing.

Only then did I understand, and my eyes were about to turn red as I said, "Fool!"

This evening we finally did.He went in a little cautiously, but I still burst into tears from the pain.He stopped, wiped the tears on my cheeks with his hands, and said apologetically, "Baby, why don't we do it today?"

I shook my head, I know he has endured a lot these days, I saw him get out of bed to go to the bathroom several times in the middle of the night, and I said, "Charter, I want it."

He couldn't bear it anymore, so after I slowly got used to the pain, I slowly pushed in a little bit until I was fully in, as if I was about to be stretched apart.Every time he did it for a long time, he finally let out a muffled grunt when I was exhausted.My whole body felt like it was going to collapse.He carried me into the bathroom to be cleaned.But I didn't expect him to be still high-spirited.I have run out of energy, but he is still very satisfied.

The next day I was woken up by a mobile phone ringing.

I connected to the mobile phone in a half-drowsy state, and when my mind was still confused, I heard Taozi's voice over there, "Qiyang!"

Her voice seemed anxious, I tried my best to shake my head to wake myself up, sat up and leaned against the bed and asked, "What's wrong?"

"You...can you lend me some money?" Tao Zi asked.I could hear her embarrassment.Generally, Taozi would not ask me to borrow money. If it really came to the point of asking me to borrow money, it must be that the matter is imminent.

I asked, "What happened? How much?"

She said: "I don't have time to talk about it, but I am in a hurry to ask for [-], do you have it?"

I remembered the card the charter was in my drawer and said, "Yes, where are you? I'll send it over."

She gave me an address, Changsha People's Hospital.I quickly took a taxi and rushed there. When I arrived, Tao Zi had been waiting at the hospital gate for a long time.I ran to her, handed her a card, and said, "There are 20 in this card, you use it first, and tell me if you don't have enough."

She hugged me and wept bitterly, "Thank you, Qiyang, thank you!"

I followed her into the hospital.After paying all kinds of fees, everything was finally arranged properly, and I finally had time to rest for a while, and I asked, "Taozi, what happened?"

Tears flowed from her eyes immediately, "Lu Junwen was found to have leukemia."

8.

She hugged me, tears quickly soaking my shirt.I patted her on the shoulder lightly, but I still haven't realized it in my mind, leukemia?It turns out that this kind of disease really exists in the world. I always have the illusion that it is just a disease that only exists in novels. It is a disease that I will never come into contact with in my life. However, at this moment, there is no sign of this disease. It came to my life, to my best friend, her boyfriend.It seems to be the fear of the unknown. When I think of those people who died young due to leukemia in the novel, I feel a slight palpitation in my heart.

After crying, Tao Zi raised her head, and I didn't know how to tell her, how to comfort her, but she smiled and said to me with swollen eyes: "I'm fine, don't worry about me, I will be strong. If I'm not strong, no one will take care of Lu Junwen."

I just remembered that Lu Junwen is an orphan.He has been fostered at his uncle's house.

His uncle's family was mean to him.When I was still in school, I often heard my classmates talking about Taozi, saying that she didn’t know what she liked about Lu Junwen. Apart from her good looks, she didn’t have anything worth touching.At that time, Lu Junwen's grades were only average, and his family situation was well known.But Taozi still stayed with him without hesitation.

Different from those feelings that were benefited because of this world very early, when she told me about their first meeting, her eyes were full of light, "He said to me: 'Student, girls should be more reserved. Okay.’ That day, we were both in the library, he was reading a book, and I sat across from him with my legs on the table, reading those vulgar romance novels without any scruples.”

At this moment, I suddenly felt a sense of respect for this silly girl who usually laughs and makes a fuss.

She said: "I can't enter the ward in this state, I'll go buy food first, you go in and take care of him for me first."

I nodded and watched her thin body go out firmly.

I walked into the ward, and Lu Junwen was leaning on the bed rail alone and looking out the window. Looking in his direction, he happened to see Taozi walking out of the hospital, and he didn't notice me walking into the ward at all.I waved my hand in front of his eyes and asked with a smile, "Stupid?"

He came back to his senses, saw me, slightly raised the corner of his mouth, and said with a smile, "Qiyang? Why are you here? Where's the charter?"

I said, "Taozi went to buy food, and I want to take care of you. I haven't had time to talk about the regulations!" I tried to speak as nonchalantly as possible, as if it was just a simple meeting.

"That's really troublesome for you." Lu Junwen said slightly apologetically.

"No, no, don't be so polite, if Taozi hears about it, I will definitely beat me up." I said, "Taozi's business is my business, and my business is Tao Zi's business. I need Tao Zi's help if I have anything. You won't be polite either."

It seemed that when he heard the word Taozi, he thought of something, and his face gradually became sad.

I tried to find something to say to him, but he just answered roughly.So I stopped looking for words, peeled an apple for him, handed it to him, and stayed in a daze quietly with him.

Suddenly, he said, "Qiyang, you and Lin Tao are very good friends, right?"

I don't know why he suddenly asked this question, I said: "Of course, that's needless to say."

But he stopped talking.I felt puzzled, but I didn't ask any further questions because the patient was very sick.

About 10 minutes later, Tao Zi came back with a bag full of takeaway food, and walked into the ward with a smile on his face, completely different from the person whose eyes were red and swollen from crying outside.Lu Junwen immediately raised a smile and said softly, "I'm back."

"According to the doctor's instructions, you can't eat spicy food, so don't have too high requirements on your diet these days!" Tao Zi said.

"Follow my wife's orders." Lu Junwen replied with a sunny smile.

I saw them each put on a mask full of smiles, remembering the sadness they each exposed in front of me, I couldn't help it for a while, and when I felt a touch in my heart, I was about to shed tears, so I walked outside the ward and took a deep breath.

I called Zhang Zhang and told him what happened here while suppressing my sadness.He comforted me on the phone and said, "Qiyang, it's okay. They will be fine. Now that medical technology is very advanced, leukemia is no longer an incurable disease."

"Yeah." I nodded, but the comfort of the charter couldn't solve the sadness in my heart.

In the long afternoon, golden sunlight poured in from the window, full of warmth.It is already September, but the sunshine in Changsha is still as warm as spring.Tao Zi sat beside Lu Junwen, holding a book in his hand and reading to him.Her voice was soft, like a mother's hand stroking the fabric, with a gentle and firm feeling.Taozi has changed. In such an instant, it seems that she is not the crazy girl in my impression.I have never seen Taozi like this, but I know that no matter what Taozi looks like, Lu Junwen loves him deeply.I think love always makes people beautiful.

Tears flowed quietly from my eyes.

At this moment, a man and a woman suddenly came across the corridor.I recognize them, they are Lu Junwen's uncles and aunts.I saw them once at school.

9.

They came to the door of Lu Junwen's ward, looked inside, confirmed that it was Lu Junwen lying inside, and then walked in.

As soon as Lu Junwen entered, Lu Junwen's aunt said, "Oh, how are you children so expensive now? If you get sick and go to the hospital, how can you have so much money?"

Lu Junwen's uncle gave his wife a tug, "How are you talking?"

"What did I say?" Lu Junwen's aunt raised her eyebrows, "Am I wrong? A few days ago, Jing Jing caught a cold and I couldn't bear to send her to the hospital. Your nephew is fine. coming."

When Lin Tao heard this, she was so angry that she was about to swear.Otherwise, I would explode too.As an uncle and aunt, the first thing to do when entering the ward is not to ask about your health, but it's okay to say that you shouldn't go to the hospital and that you don't have money.From beginning to end, they have not paid a penny.

Lu Junwen held her back and said softly, "Uncle, Auntie, I have leukemia."

The quarrel between his uncle and aunt stopped instantly at this moment.

"Leukaemia?" His uncle had an unbelievable expression on his face, but I found it ironic.

"This... this..." His aunt's face turned green and pale, "Why didn't you tell me earlier, kid?"

I cursed in my heart: You scolded as soon as you came in, did you give him a chance to speak?

But after all, it was Lu Junwen's family matter, I didn't interrupt, I just looked at them coldly.

"What did the doctor say?" asked his uncle.

"See if we can find a match." Lu Junwen said calmly.

"How much will the operation cost?" his aunt asked.

I tickled the corner of my mouth mockingly.

"Today, I invited my uncle and aunt to come over to tell you about this matter. Of course, I understand that this matter is my own business." Lu Junwen said: "I won't trouble my uncle and aunt. You leave my parents behind." Give me the money and see if I can get the surgery fee together, if not, I will figure out a way myself, and I won't bother you."

"This matter..." His uncle hesitated to speak, "I'll go back and discuss it with your aunt, and we'll come see you tomorrow."

The two of them came in a hurry and left in a hurry.

There was a moment of embarrassment in the ward.I had to go out again.

Time flies by, and when I wake up from the trance, it is already night.I slowly raised my head, only to see the charter standing in front of me.

He gave me a bright smile.

I stood up and let him hug me, I didn't want to say anything, I just wanted to lie quietly in his arms.

Zhang Zhang patted me on the back of the shoulder and said softly: "Baby, it's time for us to deliver food to Lu Junwen and the others. Do you want them to be hungry?"

I just left his arms and followed him to the ward.

I don't know why, but the hesitation that lasted for a whole afternoon disappeared the moment I saw him.I always seem to be under the illusion that as long as he is there, I don't have to be afraid of anything.I depend so much on him.I hate myself so cowardly.

We walked into the ward and saw that Taozi had fallen asleep on Lu Junwen's quilt.Lu Junwen quietly stared at Taozi's sleeping appearance, and didn't even notice our arrival immediately.When he raised his eyes and saw us, a thankful smile appeared on his rather pale face.Zhang Zhang put the lunch box aside, reminded Lu Junwen in a low voice to remember to eat later, then said no more to bother, and took us home together.On the way home, I told Zhangzhang: "Tomorrow I will help Taozi take care of Lu Junwen. She is working too hard by herself."

Charter had no objection and said, "Okay, just call me if you need anything."

The next day when I arrived at the hospital, Taozi was carrying a basin of water and was about to enter the ward. I stopped her and told her what I had been thinking about all night: "Taozi, I will take care of Lu Junwen for you during the day. It's nothing, you are now in the third year of high school, and you still go back to school during the day."

I didn't expect that Tao Zi shook her head and said, "I've already decided that Lu Junwen and I will take a year off from school."

"What! Why?" I raised my eyebrows and tried to persuade her, "You are stupid, taking a year off from school is equivalent to the previous years of studying for nothing, you know that?"

"But Qiyang, what if Lu Junwen's illness can't be cured?" Taozi's eyes flushed slightly as she spoke, "Maybe this is the last year I can be with him..."

Looking at Taozi's red eyes, I was suddenly stuck in my throat, unable to speak.I suddenly feel that in front of every true love, we bystanders have no right to speak.No matter how clear the bystanders are, it can't match the desperate love.

"So, Qiyang, don't persuade me, don't worry, no matter what the result is, I will go back to school and get into a good university."

Knowing that Taozi already had a plan in mind, I didn't try to persuade her any more, but said: "Then you should also pay attention to rest, and we will come to work in shifts in the future, don't let Lu Junwen recover, you will fall down." She hesitated, and I again Then he said: "Besides, Lu Junwen definitely needs nutrition. It is definitely not good to go out to order a restaurant every day. I can only do it carefully at home according to the doctor's instructions." She is a smart person. Although she doesn't want to trouble me, but for Lu Junwen. Still nodded.She held my hand, looked at me seriously, and said, "Qiyang, thank you."

I grinned and said, "Thank you, if something like this happened to us, you would do the same, wouldn't you?"

"Small crow's mouth!" She gave me a blank look, "If you are lying on the bed too, don't exhaust me to death!"

10.

However, at the end of September, there was finally bad news.Lu Junwen's condition suddenly deteriorated and he was rescued in the emergency room.When Zhang Zhang and I got the news and rushed to the hospital, Tao Zi was already sitting on the rest seat outside the emergency room crying with red and swollen eyes.I have never seen Taozi cry so terribly and in grief. She buried her head in her hands, but the sobs flowed out from between her fingers.That peachy smile once gave me a hard blow in my heart, my face turned pale, and I trembled back, when I obviously needed to go forward to comfort Taozi, but I was too cowardly to face it...

Zhang Zhang supported me and held me tightly in his arms.

Why can't I take a step forward?The worst is yet to come and we should all keep hoping, shouldn't we?I tried to stabilize myself, walked over slowly, sat beside Tao Zi, and hugged her.

The hard bone beneath her skin hurts me, but I have to lean on her now.

Sitting outside the emergency room, she was just an underage girl, but she was experiencing the most painful waiting in the world.

Lying in the emergency room, he was just a teenager who had just turned [-], but he was experiencing the most painful torture in the world.

We are so young, but we suffer a lot because of life.

"Taozi, we have to have confidence in Lu Junwen, don't we?" I whispered to Taozi.

"Qiyang..." She broke down in tears, hugged me, and said with a sob: "I'm afraid, I'm so afraid..."

At this moment, she is like a newborn lamb, trembling and needing warmth and light.I hugged her tightly, felt her body gradually getting cold under the thin coat, and felt sad for a while.

These days, Taozi has been smiling brightly, she believes in Lu Junwen like she believes in hope.Every day, I watched the two of them stay together quietly, the sun so holyly touching their black hair, such a peaceful and beautiful scene, such focused and persistent eyes, at this moment emerge in memory, but it is It's sad.

Suddenly, I loathed the self who was looking for death and life because of an illusory jealousy.

"Peach." My voice sounded so calm, "Believe me, Lu Junwen will be fine, he will come out with a smile, he must be hoping now that when he comes out with a smile, he can also see you in the morning He smiles."

Time passed little by little, and the door of the emergency room was finally pushed open from the inside.

At that moment, Tao Zi stood up, her hands tightly clutching the corners of her clothes.

"It's safe."

Lu Junwen was pushed out, ice blue veins seemed to be visible under his pale cheeks.He smiled weakly at Peaches.Tao Zi smiled at him, and when he couldn't see her, she turned her face away and let out a stream of tears.

I said, "Look, God is still very kind."

She hugged me tightly, smiled and said with tears: "Qiyang, I feel like I've walked around the gate of hell just now."

Hearing this made my heart ache again.

After everything is settled.Zhang Zhang and I left first.Back in the car, Zhang Zhang closed the door and was about to start the car. I put my hand on his arm to stop him.He looked at me suspiciously.I looked at Zhang Zhang and said seriously: "Zheng Zhang, if one day I die, you must live a better life."

"What nonsense!" He frowned, "No nonsense."

I stretched my head over, kissed him, and said, "You promise me."

"I don't agree." Zhang Zhang held my head in his hands, looked at me seriously, and said in a firm tone: "Qiyang, if you die, I will die with you, so you give me a good life." go down."

After he finished speaking, he lowered his head and kissed me fiercely.

My tears just flowed out like this, and I said, "Charter, I want it."

He trembled and said, "Let's go home later, and I will satisfy you, okay, baby?"

"I want it now." I put my hand on his crotch and rubbed it gently, and it quickly raised its head, showing its figure.

Zhang Zhang, if one day I die, you must live better.

I know it's hard to do, but if you love me, please do it, because I don't want to feel guilty for you because of your love for me.

Our love is always equal.

I clutched the test report in my pocket tightly, tears streaming down my face.

Bylaws, you know?I love you so much, just as you don't want me to get hurt, I also don't want you to get hurt.I'd rather you hate me for the rest of your life, and I don't want you to be sad for the rest of your life because of me.

My tears soaked his collar.

His movements were heavy and continuous.

I buried my head on his chest, clasped his neck with my hands, and desperately smelled the familiar scent on his body.

charter.my charter.

In the weather at the end of September, the autumn tiger was in full swing, and I was sweating profusely from the heat.

I was about to die in despair.

Last night a heavy rain continued into the early morning.I woke up very early, nestled in Zhang Zhang's arms, and quietly looked at the rainy sky outside the window.The charter is still in the dream, he doesn't know, I haven't slept soundly for a long time.I turned my head and looked at his stern face carefully. He was still asleep in his sleep.Over the years, from the age of 14, he has changed from a thin boy to a tall young man. His face is still handsome, but his smile gradually fades away.Maybe it's because of my stubbornness, maybe it's because of the impermanence of life, maybe the ups and downs and injuries in the past four years, his transformation has almost accompanied his growth all the way, and never stopped.

Seeing him getting more and more serious day by day, I just continued to complain and continue to make trouble for him to worry about.I always think, he loves me so much, he won't leave me.Indeed, he loves me very much, and he will not leave me, but I never thought that one day, I will leave him, because he loves me so much, and he has to let him not love me.

I've always been so selfish.I want to say goodbye to all this in a chic and unrestrained way alone.

On what day did I know the news?I do not remember.It seemed like a shitty routine checkup. My blood was found to be abnormal, and then I went to the hospital for a checkup. The doctor told me that the cancer was terminal.In fact, I was quite surprised when I heard the news. I didn’t even have the fear that I was about to die. I subconsciously laughed at this bloody story, it’s so fucking bloody!Then, I smartly stuffed the examination report into my bag and walked out of the hospital, called Zhang Zhang, and said, nothing, the stupid doctor made a mistake in the previous examination, and I said how can such a healthy person like me have blood abnormalities Woolen cloth!

He was reassured by my usual sarcastic tone.

The bright sun looked at me with pity like a virgin.

I put down my phone, and suddenly, as if my eyes were completely blank before, that heavy traffic suddenly crashed into my eyes.

This world is so real.It's unbearably real.

At that moment, I realized, ah, it turned out that the bloody cancer patient was the "healthy" me.

Many times, fear does not overwhelm you in an instant. On the contrary, many times, fear is like the slowly rising night, quietly seeping into your skin, your bones, and every corner of your body. Waking up from the dream, with a bang of cold sweat, I looked around, and as far as I could see, a piece of cold darkness was like a huge beast's mouth trying to swallow you up.

Lu Junwen's condition has gradually stabilized and he will no longer experience recurrence.

Soon, it was the end of October.I counted the numbers marked in red one by one on the calendar, feeling desolate in my heart.On this day, when the charter came back from work, it was already dark.I helped him take off his coat and said, "Go and wash your face first."

He touched my face, nodded, and walked to the bathroom.

I turned around and was about to hang his coat on the hanger, but I smelled a faint scent of perfume.Neither I nor Charter ever use perfume.I looked at the dark blue suit jacket I picked out for him this morning, and I couldn't allow myself to think about anything else, and suddenly felt a pain in my heart.

I remember that the smell of this perfume is exactly the same as that of Shen Jieyu.

My fingers dig deep into my palm.I believe in the regulations, but I don't believe in Shen Jieyu.

His voice came from behind: "Baby, what's the matter?"

I forced back the tears that were about to burst into my eyes, hung up the coat as if nothing had happened, then turned around and hugged him, buried my head in his neck, greedily inhaling his scent.

"Baby?" He froze and quickly responded.

I raised my head and said, "Zhang Zhang, you must love me forever and don't lie to me."

After listening to my words, he slid his slender fingers across my cheeks, and said softly, "I love you for the rest of my life."

The night was silent.

The next day, when Zhang Zhang went out, I hesitated for a long time, and finally decided to call Qi Yang.The mobile phone beeps twice, and it is connected.

"Qiyang?" On the other side of the phone, his voice sounded cautious.

"Qi Yang, let's meet in the afternoon, do you have time?"

"Where, you say."

At three o'clock in the afternoon, I rushed to the corner coffee shop, and he was already sitting there waiting.He was wearing a blue plaid cotton shirt, black cloth pants, and clover sneakers, and the sun was shining and warm.At that moment, I couldn't help thinking, if there were no intertwined fate between me and him, maybe I would also fall in love with him.Such a warm and bright boy.

I sat down in front of him.He smiled and said to me, "I ordered milk for you."

I nodded and said, "I'm looking for you to help you with something. If you don't want to, you can refuse."

He nodded and said, "I will help."

"You don't even ask what's the matter?"

"I'm willing to do anything." He looked straight at me.

His eyes are pure and bright, like a well-behaved child.I lost my mind for a while, quickly lowered my head and said, "Don't look at me like that."

A look of disappointment flashed across his face, and he asked, "When will you forgive me?"

I am silent.I heard him sigh softly and say, "You should not forgive me."

After a long time, when my mood slowly returned to calm, I spoke again and said, "At the beginning, you said that if I need help with anything, I will go to you. Now I am here."

"I've always been here." Qi Yang said: "I'm really sorry for what happened back then, and I regret it very much. If I can make it up, I'm willing to do anything."

"Don't mention the things of that year anymore. The things are in the past. No matter how you make up for it, it will not help." I can only say so heartlessly, "I am no longer the age when I didn't understand anything. Those things, I can't blame you for everything, I can only say that it was a coincidence. Qi Yang, sometimes, we really don't just let it go."

The bright smile on the boy in front of me gradually faded away.It seems to be turned into a sad oil painting of eternal stillness.

I turned my head away and said, "Okay, let me tell you directly, I want to ask you to help me be my boyfriend."

The author has something to say:

It's a bit difficult to start the layout, it's the first time to write such a long novel.Give some support!

bless all of you!