restart breathing

Chen Fang crouched in the corner by the bedroom door, his body curled up into a ball.

The picture in his head was fixed on Lu Shiqing's eyes looking at him before he closed the door. It seemed to be calm, but underneath the calm was hidden a surge of despair, which seemed to swallow people up.

Chen Fang accidentally drowned too.

He knew that Lu Shiqing let him stay in the bedroom with the intention of protecting him, and he didn't want him to hear the conversation in the living room.However, the sound insulation effect of the walls and door panels is not good enough, and the increasing emotional volume in the living room is encouraging him to make mistakes. It is hard not to be subconsciously understood by the slightest sound coming into his ears.

Chen Fang felt the wall against which his back was leaning was a bit chilly.Obviously he didn't participate in this conversation, but the vague content of the conversation still made him feel uncomfortable with guilt.

Lu Shiqing knew it all.

He was careful and tried hard to hide his injuries, all of which were seen by Lu Shiqing.

Maybe it was also Lu Shiqing's injury, but in the past four years, Chen Fang endured the pain instead of him, and now it is only a part of him, but Chen Fang has long been used to it, and even those scars have to be selfishly kept for himself. have.

The conversation in the living room tended to ease, and then subsided, and finally the door was closed unexpectedly, and their conversation seemed to be completely over with the severing of some kind of connection.

Chen Fang's heart hung high in the depressing silence. He listened to the dead silence on the other side through a door, and subconsciously felt that Lu Shiqing might be a little sad now.

He straightened up a little, tentatively supported the door frame with his hands, and when he hesitated for a while whether to open the door, the handle by the door suddenly turned a small angle, and the door opened an angle weakly, and a pair of shoes that he hadn't changed in time appeared. In front of Chen Fang.

The shoes didn't move any more. Chen Fang stood up from his kneeling position. He didn't need to raise his head very much to see Lu Shiqing's drooping head, and his eyes drooped down. The emotionless sculpture is placed in front of Chen Fang.

Sculptures do not need comfort, but people have warmth and complex emotions.Perhaps Chen Fang couldn't understand Lu Shiqing's emotions well at the moment, so he just walked forward and used his arms that were somewhat insufficient to accommodate the slightly larger Lu Shiqing.

As if the warmth and softness had stirred the tense strings in his mind, Lu Shiqing regained his senses, raised his hand, hugged Chen Fang and tightened his arms tightly.

"Why don't you lie down." Lu Shiqing's voice was muffled, sounding exhausted, "Go to sleep. I'm so tired, my mind is so messed up, and I want to sleep too."

"Okay." Chen Fang agreed, but he didn't wait for Lu Shiqing to move.

The somewhat awkward hug lasted for a long time before Chen Fang waited until Lu Shiqing moved his mouth vaguely again and said: "My mother is gone. Maybe she has already left my life, but today she finally gave me a farewell The ceremony announced that from now on, I really have no home."

Lu Shiqing's arms tightened a little more, as if to confirm if he still had something.He put his weight on Chen Fang's shoulders weakly, looking very tired, buried his head into his neck and breathed heavily, as if absorbing vitality, then slowly raised his head after a long time, opened his eyes, his vision was fragile To the dark night outside the window.

"It's so dark." He murmured in a faint voice, as if he was powerlessly pushing through the fog to seek the past, "I want to go back to Zeshi, North District, and go to the cross-sea bridge to see the night view at six o'clock in the evening."

"I'll accompany you." Chen Fang touched the corners of Lu Shiqing's eyes, and hid the crystal liquid that was about to overflow from the eye sockets into the palm of his hand, "I can accompany you to watch the night scene, and I will accompany you to wait for the dawn."

In the early morning, Chen Fang slept lightly with his eyes closed, and opened his eyes immediately when he felt the bed shaking slightly, and found that Lu Shiqing was sitting up and getting out of bed.Chen put down his consciousness and grabbed his hand nervously. Lu Shiqing grabbed his arm and gently put it back under the bed. After carefully tucking in the corners of the quilt, he walked out of the bedroom.

Chen Fang heard the sound of pills shaking in the medicine bottle from the next room. It was the sleeping pill that Lu Shiqing put in the study drawer.

Tonight may be a little special among the countless sleepless nights in four years, but it is nothing special, because Lu Shiqing has long been used to it.He was able to swallow the sleeping pills together with the thoughts that were about to haunt the whole night, and then walked back to the bedroom as if nothing had happened, lay back on the bed, and gently kissed the cheek of Chen Fang, who was also not asleep.

Although Lu Shiqing was very careful not to move his body too much, Chen Fang who was lying beside him still knew clearly that Lu Shiqing seemed to be accustomed to the effect of sleeping pills, he just took the medicine habitually, and didn't care whether it would work or not , and then calmly passed another almost sleepless night.

Chen Fang heard every sigh mixed with his breathing.

The night without wind and rain, spent counting the sounds of breathing at uneven intervals, seemed to become so long that waiting for dawn became a torment.

Lu Shiqing got up again when the sky was twilight, and remained silent, as if standing by the bed for a long time before leaving.After a soft and pleasant sound of closing the door, Chen Fang couldn't help but sat up, staring blankly at the closed door of the bedroom, a layer of goosebumps was aroused by the cold air in the empty room.

Lu Shiqing left.

Chen Fang stretched out his hand and pressed on his chest, but he still couldn't relieve the oppressive pain in his heart, and his glands swelled up like fuel on the fire.

Perhaps Omega, who was about to enter the fever period, keenly sensed that the pine branch flavor pheromone in the air was getting colder and weaker, but his dependence on alpha was intensifying in reverse, so he was panicking, he persuaded himself like this.

The symptoms of fever gradually emerged, and Chen Fang decided not to go out as much as possible in the next few days. He called Xu Jin and asked Xu Jin to spare the time for the next few days, and then stayed at home and waited for Lu Shiqing to come back.

Time has become abundant, and the symptoms are still tolerable. Chen Fang collected the ingredients in the refrigerator, abandoned the improper attitude towards his basic necessities in the past four years, searched carefully for recipe tutorials, and in the evening when Lu Shiqing should be off work, put A table of hearty meals is set on a new spacious wooden dining table.

The table was full of heat, and Chen Fang sat on the sofa in the living room, waiting patiently.

The hour hand of the clock makes two complete revolutions.

The leaves of the stir-fried rapeseed have wilted, the chicken floating in the soup is also a little dry, and the edges of the dishes that are hot red and placed on the fingers cool down, and the aroma of the dishes gradually dissipates.

The omega who is approaching the fever period will instinctively refuse to eat. When Chen Fang was cooking, he was infused with a lot of oily smoke, and he felt dizzy and nauseated for a while.Now that annoying smell faded away, but he didn't feel any better, instead his glands felt more and more swollen.

Chen Fang frowned, stretched out his hands and scratched the skin on the back of his neck, trying to cover up the hotness into pain.

The bloodstains from last night were just about to scab, but they were forcibly removed by the not-so-sharp nails. The exposed skin and flesh seemed to have opened a gap for a volcanic eruption. A magma-like heat spread from the glands along the blood vessels. Burning gradually in his body.After experiencing a fire that was about to get out of control, he felt that he was gradually being burned and penetrated, and there were holes all over his body, and cold water and air were continuously poured in, as if he was drowning in boiling sea water, and he could not help himself.

His whole body was empty, and he couldn't hold on to anything, without the gentle and hot pine fragrance to wrap him up and lift him up with a sense of security.

Crazy desire for alpha pine branch pheromone, heralds the arrival of the omega fever period.

Lu Shiqing is not there.

If there is no important matter, Chen Fang hardly bothers Lu Shiqing during his working hours, and Lu Shiqing will probably not return late for no reason without explaining, but now... Chen Fang does not know whether the current situation is worthy of being counted as important. , but he remembered that Lu Shiqing told him that he must contact him in time if there is anything to do.

The emergency contact number set on the mobile phone was quickly dialed. Chen Fang grabbed the straw and leaned close to the receiver.The electronic female voice indifferently broadcasts the news that the user has shut down the phone, leaving behind a series of busy tones, one after another, like the terminal bell that hastily rang when people are desperate in the time journey.

The busy tone rang again and again many times, and the fear of losing control of the glands finally exhausted Chen Fang's courage to ask for help again.

What about Lu Shiqing...

Chen Fang remembered that he left in the morning and did not come back.

He didn't even see his back.

Could it be that after leaving quietly like that...they won't come back?

If Chen Fang's consciousness is clear, he should remind himself that he shouldn't be so pessimistic and sensitive, but the fear of emptiness shakes his steering wheel, and his thoughts are like a car that has run off the track, like a paranoid about to fall to a cliff, uncontrollably Deviate in the worst possible direction.

To be precise, when he saw Lu Shiqing's mother appearing at the door yesterday, the lingering fear that had remained in his mind for a long time suddenly burst out like a swelling in his body, and the ferocious wave pushed him, and he was helpless Pushed back to the edge of darkness four years ago, he inevitably realized that he was still a speck of dust about to be stepped into the mud, his life was hanging by a thread, and he didn't even dare to beat his heart hard.

He complained that he was not brave enough, was always afraid, and always fell without being able to save himself, falling to a place where no one could save him, and disappointing no one he could find.

When the eyes became blurred, Chen Fang thought in a daze that it was probably tears or rainstorm.

It's all like four years ago.At that time, Chen Fang knew for the first time that the rain in midsummer would also be bitterly cold, painful, make people shiver, and push the regretful person to be unable to turn back.

I lied to you.This is a truth that needs to be twisted.

Actually, I really want your gift.

I don't hate you.

I love you.

don't let me go.

Birthday wishes, don't come true.